Eye of the Beholder

Part 3


 

Brian and Justin had been dating for all of three weeks. Cynthia couldn't help but smile as she watched the two of them together. It was common knowledge at the office that they were both gay so they saw no point in hiding their relationship. They didn't flaunt it, however.

"Isn't that sweet?" She asked as she and Tommy watched Brian and Justin steal a quick kiss while they thought no one was looking.

"Sickening is more like it." Tommy rolled his eyes.

"You're just jealous." Cynthia insisted.

"Of what?"

"Of the fact that Brian is in a relationship and you aren't."

"That's a bunch of bull and you know it." Tommy said. Cynthia just rolled her eyes and went back to work.

"What time tonight?" Justin asked as he sat down on the edge of Brian's desk.

"Around seven. My mom's flight is at six, but I need time to take a shower and change before you come over." He smiled. Justin laughed.

"I really feel like I'm back in high school again." Justin said. Brian laughed as well.

"I know. Having to wait for my mom to go out of town. Luckily she's not coming back until Wednesday so you can stay the whole weekend if you want.

"Or I could stay until we have to be at work Wednesday morning." He said with a smirk as he leaned down and kissed Brian.

"That could work too." Brian smiled.

"Unfortunately I have a meeting with my staff in exactly....." He grabbed Brian's wrist and pushed the button on the side, the little mechanical voice telling him the time. "Ten minutes so I better get going."

"Why don't you use your own watch?" Brian asked with a smile.

"Because your watch is so cool." Justin said. Brian laughed.

"It'll soon lose its novelty, trust me."

"Whatever. I'll see you later." He kissed Brian's cheek then left the office. When Justin was back in his office, his phone rang.

"Taylor."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure." He smiled as he heard Brian's voice.

"Can you rent a movie on the way over?" That threw Justin for a minute.

"Um.....Brian.......how does a blind man watch a movie?"

"Easy, he gets a sighted man to tell him what's going on when there's no dialogue." Brian laughed and Justin rolled his eyes.

"Anything in particular?"

"You decide. I'm up for anything."

"Okay, see you later."

"Later."

That evening Brian was just stepping out of the shower when the doorbell rang. He sighed heavily and went to answer the door wearing only a towel.

"Um......I guess I'm early." Justin said with a smirk.

"My last meeting ran late." Brian moved so Justin could come in. Justin kissed his cheek as he passed. He went into the living room and Brian followed.

"I got Brotherhood of the Wolf. I hope you don't mind. I heard it's a really good movie and I wanted to check it out."

"That's fine. Go ahead and put it in. I'm gonna go get dressed." He then made his way upstairs. Justin went and put the movie into the DVD player, got it all set up, then went into the kitchen to make some popcorn.

"Justin?" He heard Brian's voice from the living room.

"I'm in the kitchen."

"I'm gonna start the movie."

"Okay." Justin continued to make the popcorn. A couple of minutes later, he heard Brian's voice again.

"Justin?"

"Yes, Brian."

"Can you come here a minute?"

"Sure." Justin poured the finished popcorn into a bowl and went into the living room. When he got within sight of the TV he saw what the problem was. The movie was in French with subtitles. "Oh Brian.......I'm so sorry. I didn't know it had subtitles." He came over and sat down next to Brian on the couch.

"That's okay. Start reading."

"What?"

"Start reading." Brian had a serious expression on his face. Justin made a face, but since the choice in movie was his doing, he started reading the subtitles out loud to Brian. After about fifteen minutes, Brian put a finger on Justin's lips.

"Shhhh, I can't hear what they're saying." Justin was thoroughly confused. Brian still had a finger on Justin's lips and he laughed when he felt the change in Justin's expression.

"What?" Justin asked.

"I was just messing with you, Justin. I speak French fluently. It was actually one of my two minors in college."

"Why you little......" Justin said with a laugh. By the time the movie was over, they were sitting sideways on the couch, Justin between Brian's legs leaning back against his chest. Brian had his arms wrapped around Justin's waist and they were holding hands. Justin started to move when the movie finished, but Brian wouldn't let him up.

"It'll shut off by itself." He said softly, his mouth very close to Justin's ear. He smiled when the younger man shivered.

"This is nice." Justin said with a contented sigh.

"Yeah, it is." Brian agreed. He kissed Justin's ear lightly. Justin moved his head so he could kiss Brian's cheek.

"Brian?" Justin said softly.

"Yeah."

"Is it too early in the relationship to say I love you?" The question caught Brian only slightly off guard. His heart started pounding, but in a good way. He'd had the urge all evening to utter the three little words to the blonde, but he just couldn't work up the nerve.

"Do you think it's too early?" Brian asked seriously.

"No." Justin answered honestly.

"Then I guess it's not too early." Brian smiled. Justin twisted his upper body so that he could take Brian's face in his hands.

"I love you, Brian."

"I love you, Justin." Brian replied. They came together in a lingering kiss that seemed to last an eternity.
 

*****
 

They were both lying on the bed naked. They'd spent all of the previous night and most of the next day in bed, taking full advantage of the fact that they were the only ones in the house. As much noise as they made, Brian was surprised no one had called the police. They'd been lying there quietly when suddenly Brian spoke.

"Justin.......what is sex like for you?" He asked matter of factly. The directness of the question made Justin laugh.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, sex is different for you than it is for me."

"Why do you say that?" Justin rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow so he could look at Brian. He reached out and put a hand on the older man's chest, drawing small circles with his index finger.

"Because it is. I mean.......when you lose one sense, the others take over. Because I can't see, my taste and touch and smell and hearing kicked into over drive. So......I'm a lot more sensitive to the more physical aspects of sex, I guess. Like your hand, right now. I can feel every last millimeter of your hand on my skin where as you might only feel the pressure points where my hand is actually in contact with you."

"That's an interesting way of putting it." Justin hadn't ever really thought about how it would be different for Brian.

"And when you moan, it does a lot more to me. I mean........I can only go by my imagination as to what you look like. And to be honest, I don't even really know what you look like."

"How can you know?" Justin asked with a raised eyebrow. His confusion grew a little when Brian sat up. Justin did as well and Brian grabbed his shoulders, pulling him a little closer.

"Like this." Brian said with a smile as his hands moved to Justin's face. He started to feel every inch of Justin's face, taking in the contours, feeling his cheekbones and his lips and his eyes. Justin closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling of Brian's hands on him.

"What color are your eyes?" Brian asked.

"Blue." Justin said. Brian made a face.

"Could you be a little more specific than just blue?"

"I've been told that ice blue is a good description." Brian nodded as he continued to feel Justin's face, reaching up and running his fingers through his hair.

"And your hair?"

"Light blonde. In the summer it's almost white." Once again Brian nodded.

"Your skin?"

"Pale. I've been told I look like a porcelain doll."

"Your lips?"

"Daphne says they're kind of strawberry colored." Brian smiled, his hands dropping to Justin's shoulders.

"My God, you are beautiful." He leaned in and kissed Justin's lips lightly. Luckily the blonde hadn't moved his head from the position it was in when Brian was touching him. Justin looked at Brian for a minute as something hit him. The detail that Brian had asked for made the younger man curious.

"Brian.......you haven't always been blind, have you?" He instantly regretting the question as Brian's body tensed. "I'm.......I'm sorry."

"No.......it's okay." Brian sighed. "No, I haven't always been blind. Happened when I was seventeen."

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Okay." Justin said softly. It obviously caused Brian a great deal of pain. Justin decided to take Brian's mind off of it. He leaned forward and kissed Brian tenderly, the other man smiling. "I have an idea." Justin said.

"What's that?"

"Why don't you show me what sex is like for you?" Justin suggested. Brian laughed.

"And how exactly do I do that?" He asked.

"Where do you keep your ties?" Justin asked and suddenly Brian understood.

"They're on a hanger in the closet." Justin got up and selected one of the ties, then came over and sat down on the bed. He tied it around his head making sure that he couldn't see, then he lay down on his back.

"Okay." Justin said. Brian located the young man's head and felt that the blindfold was in place, then smiled. He started slowly moving his hands down Justin's neck, over his chest and down to his hips. Brian straddled Justin, sitting down on his thighs. He ran his hands over every inch of Justin's torso. Justin's breathing became faster, a low moan escaping his lips and causing Brian's cock to twitch. Brain's hands once again found Justin's neck and he leaned down, kissing ever so lightly.

He started doing that all over Justin's body. Each touch burned, intensified by the lack of sight. Justin arched his back as Brian's mouth came in contact with one of his nipples. His hands continued down Justin's sides before stopping and gently stroking his hips. Brian's mouth then started following his hands.

Justin moaned loudly as Brian's hand came in contact with his swollen shaft. His back arched again as Brian moved down, his tongue running the entire length of his cock before Brian took it completely into his mouth. He paid careful attention to each and every millimeter of Justin's erection.

"Oh, Brian!" Justin's hand went to the back of Brian's head, grabbing a handful of hair as the head of his dick hit the back of Brian's throat. He moaned louder still as Brian swallowed several times, his throat muscles constricting around the tip. It wasn't long before Justin was shooting his load down Brian's throat. After Brian sucked him dry he slowly kissed his way back up to Justin's mouth where they came together in a heated kiss. Brian smiled as he rolled onto his back next to Justin.

"That has got to be the best blow job I have ever had in my life." Justin said when he was finally able to catch his breath. Brian laughed.

"Just think.........for me it's like that every time."

"That's good to know." Justin said softly before he started kissing his way down to Brian's groin, the older man moaning loudly.
 

*****
 

Brian and Justin were sitting on the couch watching TV. It was Saturday night and they were once again staying in. They were sitting side-by-side, hands clasped together.

"Justin, could you get me a glass of water?"

"You know where everything is better than I do."

"But....."

"But what?"

"My mom would get it for me."

"Brian......do you do anything by yourself?" Justin looked at the older man.

"I get dressed by myself. I go to the bathroom by myself."

"You know what I mean."

"My mom does pretty much everything else."

"Have you always lived with your mom?"

"No."

"And who did things for you before she moved in?"

"Cynthia or Tommy."

"So you've always had someone else to do things for you?"

"Pretty much." Brian shrugged and Justin sighed.

"Do you know where the glasses are?"

"Yeah. They're in the cabinet next to the sink."

"And you know which faucet is hot and which one is cold?"

"Left is hot, right is cold."

"Then get your own glass of water."

"But......"

"Why do you let your mom do all this stuff for you? I mean......she ties your tie for you, she ties your shoes for you, she gets you water.......from what I've seen she does just about everything for you."

"It makes her feel helpful."

"And how does it make you feel? Helpless? Brian, what would you do if something happened and your mom wasn't around anymore? You know she's not going to be around forever."

"Well.......I was kind of hoping you would......."

"No. I am not going to be your personal servant, Brian. I'll be your boyfriend but there is a limit to what I will do for you. If you want a glass of water, get it yourself." Justin crossed his arms over his chest. Brian sighed and got up, went into the kitchen and got his own glass of water. He stayed in the kitchen until he was done and then went back into the living room.

Brian was sitting at the island in the kitchen while Justin made dinner. It was Sunday night and Brian was feeling only a little guilty about skipping church that morning. He usually went with his mother every Sunday but since she wasn't there he didn't feel the need to go. He didn't really like going to church, he just figured it was the least he could do for his mother.

"Is there anything you're allergic too that I should know about?"

"Strawberries." Brian commented.

"You're allergic to strawberries?"

"Yup."

"You miss out on a lot being allergic to strawberries."

"I know." Brian sighed. "Of course, I miss out on a lot more being blind." He smirked. Justin looked at him, then smiled.

"So, do you like fettuccini alfredo?"

"Is the pope catholic?" Brian asked with a raised eyebrow and Justin laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes." Justin started mixing the sauce. A few minutes into it the phone rang. Without even thinking about it Justin went to answer the phone. Brian was so used to his mom answering that he never made a move to get it. After a few seconds of conversation, Justin looked at Brian. "Can you turn the heat off under the sauce?"

"Um....." Brian stood and started making his way around the island, their conversation from the night before still running through his mind.

"The stove is directly in front of you. It's the third knob from the right; turn it all the way to the left." Justin then went back to the conversation on the phone. Brian did as instructed. He found the stove, then turned the third knob from the right all the way to the left. He smiled to himself as he went around to resume his seat. "Do you know where the plates and utensils are?"

"Yeah." Brian answered.

"Can you set the table?"

"I can try." Brian went back into the kitchen and found the cabinet with the plates, getting two of them and making his way over to the table. He then went back and got some forks and put them beside the plates. Next he went back and got two wine goblets, also setting them by the plates.

"Thanks Daph, your timing couldn't have been better." Justin whispered into the phone. He hated to trick Brian but he wanted to see how much Brian could do on his own.

"How's that?" Brian asked as he stood by the table.

"Perfect." Justin came over and kissed him quickly, then went to get the pasta and the sauce. Brian was smiling proudly when Justin returned to the table.

"It's really perfect?"

"Yes, it is. I take it you've never set the table before?"

"Yet another thing my mom wouldn't let me do."

"I think you really need to have a talk with your mother, Brian. She's running your life. She's making you totally dependent on her so that you can never leave. It's not good."

"I'll talk to her about it." He nodded. The rest of dinner passed in relative silence.
 

*****
 

Joan decided to get home early. She hated leaving Brian by himself for any length of time. The only reason she agreed was because Brian said that he would call Cynthia. She walked in the house around midnight. The entire house was dark so she decided Brian was asleep and tried to remain quiet. When she got to the top of the stairs she heard moans coming from Brian's room. Her heart began to pound. She dropped her bags and ran to Brian's room, throwing open the door.

"Brian?" She asked and was shocked to see Brian and the blonde boy he was seeing in a rather provocative position on the bed. Brian was lying on his back; the young man's head bobbing at his groin. Since it seemed that neither of them noticed her, she quickly but quietly shut the door, going to her room and trying to wipe the image from her mind. The next morning she was downstairs making breakfast when the young blonde came downstairs.

"Oh.....um.....Mrs. Kinney. When did you get home?"

"Early this morning." She answered coldly.

"Oh, well......welcome home." He didn't look her in the eye as he went to get a cup of the coffee she had made.

"Where's Brian?" She asked.

"He's still asleep."

"Don't you have to work?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"We both called in sick for today. We.....um.....weren't expecting you to be home yet."

"Have you been here all weekend?" She asked, slightly alarmed when the young man nodded. "I see." She turned back to the eggs she was making. Once breakfast was done and on the table, they sat and began eating. Joan looked at him for a moment.

"What?" He asked.

"I don't know if you've noticed but I am very protective of my son." She said matter of factly. Justin simply nodded. "I don't like to see him get hurt."

"I can imagine."

"Um.....Justin? Is that your name?"

"Yes."

"Well, Justin. Brian's physical well being is not my only concern. I don't want to see my son's heart get broken as it has in the past. He doesn't give his heart easily but when he does it's given over completely and he can get hurt very deeply, and I really don't want to see that happen. I want you to know, if you hurt my son, you will regret it."

"I'll take that into consideration." Justin nodded and got up to go get dressed. He gathered up his things quickly and quietly, not wanting to wake Brian. He then left without saying a word to Joan. When Brian woke up and found his bed empty, he started to worry a little.

"Justin?" He called out.

"He left." Joan said and Brian jumped.

"Shit......mom. When did you get home?"

"Earlier this morning. I....um.....walked in on you, but apparently neither of you noticed." Brian blushed slightly.

"You said Justin left?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"A couple of hours ago."

"He didn't wake me." Brian's brow furrowed in confusion. Joan didn't say anything. Brian picked up the phone.

"Justin." He said very clearly into the voice-activated phone. Brian had programmed Justin's cell phone into it after the second date.

"Hello." Justin said.

"Hey. Um.......why did you leave so fast this morning?"

"I remembered something I had to do."

"Will I see you later?"

"I don't know." Justin said. His voice was monotone.

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Look, Brian. I'm really busy. I'll call you, okay?" Justin hung up before Brian could answer. Brian sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?" Joan asked.

"I think Justin's avoiding me."

"I'm sorry." Joan said, though inside she was thinking that she had known all along that the little blonde was only out to use her son.
 

*****
 

It had been two weeks since Brian and Justin last spoke. There had been no phone calls, no visits, nothing. Justin was even trying to find excuses to get out of every meeting with Brian that he was supposed to attend. It was complete and total avoidance.

“Cyn, I’m going to the bathroom.” Brian said as he walked passed her desk.

“Just announce it to the world, boss.” Cynthia smirked.

“Why do I put up with you?” He asked, rolling his eyes. The two of them shared a chuckle before Brian went to the men’s room. He made his way up to the urinal and started to take a piss when he heard someone come into the restroom. He heard a couple of footsteps, then the person stopped for a minute, before continuing on. As the person got closer, Brian caught of whiff of a very familiar cologne and he sighed a little. It wasn’t until the person was right next to him that he caught the little twinge to the cologne that made it uniquely Justin. The other man took care of his business, zipped up, then moved over to wash his hands, never saying a word.

“I know you’re there and I know it’s you.” Brian said, causing Justin to jump. The blond said nothing, simply drying his hands and leaving the room. Brian sighed heavily, zipped up, washed his hands, then made his way back to his desk. Cynthia noticed that he looked a litter sadder than he did before going to the restroom. She followed him into his office and shut the door.

“Okay, what’s going on?” She asked.

“I ran into Justin in the restroom.” He admitted.

“And?” Her tone was hopeful.

“He never said a word. He came in, pissed and left. Even after I said something to him.”

“How do you know it was him?” Cynthia asked. Brian raised an eyebrow.

“The same way I know it’s you when you don’t say a word. I spent almost an entire weekend naked with the man; I think it’s safe to say I know him without him saying anything.” He sighed slightly. Cynthia nodded.

“Want me to run the Donaldson proofs down to the art department?” She asked. Brian nodded. Cynthia took the proofs and headed to the elevator. While she let Brian think she was doing her job, she was actually on a mission. She made her way down to the art department, dropped the proofs on one of the drafting tables, then went in search of Justin. Luckily he was in his office. She walked in and practically slammed the door shut.

“Excuse me?” Justin looked up at her. He could tell she was pissed.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Cynthia almost yelled.

“My problem?” Justin questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, your problem. Brian loves you, Justin, whether you believe that or not. And he doesn’t let people in easily. He’s been hurt a lot in his life and when he does let someone in, like you, it’s a big thing. And you’re just going to throw that away? Give him yet another reason to not let people get close to him? You’re a fucking asshole and I want to know why you did it!”

“I don’t see how this is any of your business.” Justin then looked back down at his work.

“It’s my business because Brian can hardly concentrate on his work; he’s missing you so much. He’s completely and utterly miserable and I won’t stand for seeing him like that when I know that it’s the other fucker’s fault!”

“Oh? And what if it were Brian’s fault?”

“Then I’d be up there yelling at him wanting to know what HIS fucking problem is. But this time it’s your fault and I fucking know it.”

“I really don’t see why I should tell you anything.” Justin said defiantly.

“Because if you don’t tell me I’ll have your balls so fast you won’t know what happened until you’re singing soprano for the Pittsburgh Opera.” She glared at him and Justin got a shiver down his spine. He could tell she was dead serious. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair.

“It’s complicated but it comes down to the fact that certain people think Brian would be better off without me.”

“Who?”

“That’s all I’m saying, Cynthia. Now I suggest you leave before I have you written up for insubordination. I can do that, you know?” He looked her in the eye.

“Fine. But at least talk to Brian. Okay? Tell HIM why it is you left. He’s thinking it’s his fault.” Her tone had softened greatly. Justin nodded and then went back to work as Cynthia left.

It had been three days since Cynthia’s little tirade and Justin still hadn’t come to talk to Brian. If anything, he was avoiding him more now than before. They were supposed to have a meeting to go over the completed Donaldson proofs and Justin yet again opted out of the meeting. This was the last straw for Brian. He got up, got Topper and headed down to the art department, going into Justin’s office. He could tell that the younger man was on the phone, but he didn’t really care.

“Hang up, now.” Brian demanded.

“Um….I’ll call you back.” Justin said before hanging up the phone. He looked at Brian a minute. “What can I do for you, Mr. Kinney?”

“Cut the 'Mr. Kinney' bullshit, Justin.”

“Alright, Brian.” Justin said softly. Brian made sure the door was shut before he continued.

“Look, I understand that our personal relationship may be over…” Brian had to stop himself, the last word cracking a little. He took a deep, shaky breath, letting it out slowly, then cleared his throat. “But that doesn’t change the fact that we are business associates and therefore have to remain professional. So stop acting like a scared little fucking faggot and get your act together or I will find a new art director, do I make myself clear?” Brian’s expression hardened with the last statement.

“Yes, sir.” Justin answered softly.

“Now then, I expect to see you in my office in half an hour for the Donaldson meeting. Do not be late.” With that, Brian turned and left before Justin could say a word. The blond sighed heavily and rested his head on his desk for a minute before banging it repeatedly. He had no idea how he was going to get through this meeting.

After the meeting with the Donaldson execs, Brian went to his office and sat down on the couch. He made sure that all the lights were turned off before lying down. For the first time in a very long time Brian just let his emotions go and started to sob uncontrollably. He thought that he could handle being in the same room with Justin. He thought that he could be professional and deal with it. He was learning, however, that was not the case. Even after just one meeting, he was hurting so much. Topper came over and rested her head on his thigh. Brian reached down and started to scratch behind her ears.

“At least I still got you, right girl?” Brian said with a sniffle, laughing slightly when Topper barked. Brian sat up, wiping at his eyes. After he was satisfied that the tears had stopped, he patted the couch and Topper jumped up. She lay down on the couch and rested her head in his lap. Brian leaned his head back against the back of the couch and absently stroked Topper’s fur.

It was a half an hour later before anyone was allowed back in Brian’s office. He was sitting behind his desk and as soon as Cynthia came in, she knew something was wrong. The one thing Brian never did was wear his sunglasses in the privacy of his own office, and yet there he was with them on.

“What’s going on?” She asked as she took a seat on the edge of his desk.

“Nothing.” Brian said without turning his head in her direction. Cynthia reached up and snatched the glasses off his face. “Hey!” He demanded, trying to reach for them. Cynthia tried not to smirk but she couldn’t help herself. It had always been so easy to keep things away from Brian. The smirk disappeared when she got a good look at him. His eyes were bloodshot and slightly puffy around the outside. That’s when she noticed the tell tale red marks from him blowing his nose repeatedly.

“You’ve been crying.” She said softly.

“I have not.” Brian tried to lie.

“Yes, Brian, you have. You’ve been crying. That little fucker still hasn’t talked to you, has he?” Cynthia demanded. Brian sighed heavily and shook his head. “I’m going to kill him!” Cynthia started to get up and Brian grabbed her arm. It made her jump a little because she wasn’t expecting him to know where she was well enough to do that.

“Don’t.” The word was filled with so much pain that Cynthia just wanted to hold Brian until the hurt went away. It made her heart just break for her long time friend.

“But Brian….”

“Cynthia, I mean it. This is between Justin and me. You stay out of it. I know that you love me, and that you want to take care of me, but there are times when I have problems you just can’t fix, okay?” He sniffled, trying to hold back more tears.

“Okay, Bri.” She said before leaning down and kissing the top of his head. She moved some hair out of his face.

“You need a haircut.” The comment made Brian laugh out loud for the first time in a while. “What?” She asked.

“That was just out of nowhere, that’s all. One minute we’re talking about my problems, the next you say I need a haircut.” He chuckled.

“I think that falls under the problems category, and it’s one that I can fix, too.” She smiled even though Brian couldn’t see it.

“Thanks, Cyn. I needed that.” He smiled at her and she gave him a quick hug.

“Glad I could help.”
 

*****

It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Brian was awakened by the warmth of the sunlight streaming through his bedroom window. He could hear birds chirping in the tree next to the house. Brian got out of bed and opened the window, feeling the cool breeze. He closed his eyes for a minute and smiled, then sighed heavily, wishing he could see the beautiful day. He remembered in his mind’s eye the times that he’d woken up to the bluest of skies, the sunlight shining, the tiniest wisps of clouds. Sighing once again, he went to take a shower.

Once he was showered and shaved, he went to the closet and got dressed. He felt around for the various indicators of color that his mother had put on his clothing. A safety pin on the tag helped him select his bright blue t-shirt. A pin on the cuff helped him find a pair of blue jeans. He decided to go without shoes or socks since he didn’t really have anything to do. He noticed that the house was lacking the distinct odor of cooking as he made his way downstairs. When he got to the bottom step, he listened carefully.

“Mom?” There was no answer. He heard Topper panting over by where the answering machine was. He made his way over and knelt down beside the dog, giving her ears a good scratch. “Did mom leave me a message?” He asked, slightly surprised when the dog barked. Brian was only a little confused because he hadn’t heard the phone ring. He located the answering machine and hit play.

“Brian, sweetie, I have to go do some shopping. I decided to just let you sleep in. I know you haven’t been sleeping well lately. There’s some fruit in the refrigerator. I marked the bowl with a toothpick in the foil over it. None of the other bowls have toothpicks. I love you and I’ll be home soon.” And that was the end of the message. Brain smiled to himself as he made his way into the kitchen to get the bowl of fruit out. He reached into the fridge and felt around, accidentally stabbing himself with the toothpick. After determining there was no blood loss, he went about eating breakfast. He noticed that his mom had a fork in the bowl already. After he was done eating, he put the bowl and fork in the sink. That’s when Topper started whimpering over by the back door.

“You wanna go outside, girl?” He asked and she barked. Brian smiled and made his way over to the door, opening it. The cool breeze was tempting enough that he decided to follow her, easily locating the lawn chairs they kept set up in the exact same spot in the back yard. The grass was cool under his feet and Brian smiled, wiggling his toes a little before taking a seat. After a few minutes, Topper came over and placed something in Brian’s lap. A little bit of feeling around indicated that it was a ball. Topper wanted to play fetch. Brian smiled to himself and threw the ball. It made a whistling sound as it sailed through the air. Topper took off running and returned with the ball in no time. Brian threw the ball again, trying to aim for the exact same spot.

After playing for a while, Topper came over and rested her head on Brian’s lap, panting. He reached down and started to scratch her ears. They just sat there like that, enjoying the cool shade. Brian accidentally dozed off. Topper’s barking woke Brian a while later and he sat up, stretching. His stomach rumbled and he realized that he must have been asleep for a while to already be hungry again. Brian put a hand on Topper’s head.

“I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you girl?” He asked and she once again barked. Brian noticed that the only time she barked was when she’d been asked a question and he was thankful for that. One of his previous guide dogs barked quite a bit. He got up and made his way into the kitchen, locating Topper’s bowls. He found that both were almost empty, though he wasn’t quite sure where his mom kept the dog food. It took him about a half an hour of searching but he finally found it and refilled the food bowl, not without spilling some, then picked up the water bowl and refilled it as well.

Once Topper was fed and watered, he started to feel the need to be fed and watered himself and wondered where his mother had gotten to. He thought she would have been back by now. Starting to worry a little he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

“Mom’s cell.” He said clearly into the receiver and the phone automatically started dialing. It was just about to click over to the voicemail when Joan finally answered. There was a lot of noise in the background.

“Hello?” She was almost yelling.

“Mom, where are you?”

“I’m at the mall. There’s a sale and you need some new jeans. Those ones that you’re probably wearing right now are old and worn.”

“They’re comfortable, mom.”

“They need to be replaced.”

“You know what size to get, right?”

“Yes, dear, I do.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, Brian.”

“I’m hungry.” He almost pouted. Joan couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, if you can’t wait until I get home there’s some peanut butter in the cabinet to the right of the sink. It’s on the bottom shelf, third jar from the left. You know where the bread and the knives are, right?”

“Yeah.” Brian said with a small sigh.

“You can live off peanut butter sandwiches until I get home, Brian. It won’t kill you.”

“Or you could just get home and forget about the new jeans.” He said, slightly hopeful.

“Nice try, but no. I’ll be home in a little bit.”

“Okay, later mom.” Brian sighed and they both hung up.

“Well, Topper. Looks like I get peanut butter.” He made a face before going to get what he needed to make the sandwich. Once Brian was done eating, he decided that, even though he’d been inside for only a short time, he needed to get outside again. It was just too beautiful a day and he wanted to enjoy as much of it as possible. He left his mom a note, trying to actually write it out on a piece of paper and hoping she could read it, then got some shoes on, put the harness on Topper and headed out in no particular direction.

“Hey, Brian.” Charlie, one of the neighbors, said.

“Hey, Charlie.” Brian said with a smile.

“Going for a walk?” The older man asked. Charlie had been living in the neighborhood when Joan and Brian moved in. He came over to help as soon as he noticed the guide dog and they became friends quickly. It turned out that one of Charlie’s sons was blind, having been born that way. He was a great help and a fun guy and Brian really liked him.

“Today’s too beautiful to stay inside.” Brian answered with a nod.

“I know what you mean. As much as I hate gardening, I’d rather work on my wife’s garden than stay cooped up on a day like this.” Charlie smiled and Brian laughed.

“Planting pansies?” Brian asked and Charlie smiled.

“Sure am. I guess I got a particularly fragrant batch.”

“Yeah. But it’s nice.”

“I saw your mom leave early this morning. Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, she’s just decided I need a new wardrobe, that’s all.” Brian rolled his eyes, though it couldn’t be seen behind the sunglasses. They shared a chuckle. “Well, Chuck, I better get going.” Brian smirked.

“I told you not to call me that, Brian. You know how it annoys me.”

“I know, but it’s so much fun. I’ll see you later.”

“Later, Brian.” Charlie said and Brian continued down the street. When Brian got to the corner, he decided that he was having a serious craving for some lemon bars. He called a cab and made his way to the diner. He had to have a little argument with the cab driver about Topper, but it was settled with an extra twenty and he was dropped of in front of the diner in no time. Brian paused for a minute before going in. He hadn’t actually been back to Liberty Avenue since the previous Topper had been hit by a car. He held a little tighter to the harness and made his way in.

“Brian!” Debbie squealed as he walked through the door. She made her way over and hugged him tightly, almost knocking him over. Brian smiled and hugged back after regaining his balance.

“Hey, Deb.”

“Sweetie, how have you been? I missed you. You haven’t been around in a while.”

“It’s been kind of hard to come down here.” He commented, his tone the slightest bit sad. Debbie nodded, having heard what happened. She took his arm and ushered him over to one of the booths. Topper lay down on the floor beside the booth, trying to stay out of the way.

“You look good.” She smiled.

“Thanks. So do you.” Brian smirked and Debbie laughed. It was a joke they’d shared for years.

“So, is this a social call or are you here to eat?”

“Here to eat, actually. But I just want some lemon bars.”

“You need to eat something…” She started and Brian held his hand up.

“I ate lunch at home, so don’t start.” His raised eyebrow could be seen over the top of his sunglasses.

“And what exactly did you have for lunch, mister?” She demanded.

“Three peanut butter sandwiches.”

“I didn’t think you were that fond of peanut butter.” Debbie said.

“I’m not, but mom went shopping so I was on my own for lunch.” He explained. Debbie nodded and stood.

“Two okay?” She asked.

“Two is perfect.” Brian smiled and Debbie went to get the lemon bars. She set the plate down in front of him and was about to say something when another customer came in.

“I’ll be right back, sweetie.” She said, giving him a quick kiss on the head before going to take care of the customers. It got busy shortly after that and Debbie wasn’t able to come back and talk to him for several minutes. Brian had just finished the lemon bars when he caught the faintest scent of familiar cologne. His heart started to beat a little faster, thinking it was Justin. The footfalls were all wrong though, and when the man got closer, he didn’t have that twinge that made it uniquely Justin. Brian sighed heavily and tried to keep the tears that threatened to fall at bay. Debbie noticed the change in Brian almost immediately.

“I’m taking five.” She called to one of the other waitresses before taking a seat with Brian. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” She asked, reaching across the table and taking his hand. Brain simply shook his head. A rebellious tear slid out from under the sunglasses, rolling down Brian’s cheek. “Tell me.” Her tone was soft and filled with concern. Debbie’d never really seen Brian cry before.

“I….well…..there was this guy…” Brian started. He took his sunglasses off and started to wipe at his eyes.

“Okay.” Debbie said, trying to be patient.

“And…..we started dating and things were going really great. I mean, I even told him that I love him, and I meant it. Hell, I mean it. I still love him.”

“But….”

“But….he just started avoiding me and I don’t know why. He won’t talk to me. He won’t even look at me. Cynthia told me.” Debbie was silent for a minute, a little confused.

“He’s the art director.” Brian explained and Debbie nodded in understanding. “The only time he’ll interact with me at all is if it has to do with business. He’s even taken to calling me ‘Mr. Kinney’ instead of Brian like he used to.” Brian sniffled and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve. Debbie handed him a napkin, the whole time thinking I’m gonna kill the little fucker.

“And he gave no explanation why?” She asked.

“None at all.” Brian answered. “He said that he loved me, and then he just……stopped. I keep wondering what I did…”

“Brian, you stop right there. You didn’t do anything and you know it. This is obviously his problem and definitely his loss. You are a wonderful man and any guy would be lucky to have you.” She squeezed the hand she was holding. Brian sighed heavily.

“Then why can’t any man figure that out?” He asked before resting his head on the table. It broke Debbie’s heart to see Brian like this, and apparently Topper’s too. Debbie noticed the dog put her head in Brian’s lap in a comforting manner. She reached over and stroked his hair gently.

“You’ll find somebody, baby. I promise.” She kissed his head, then had to get back to work.
 

On to Part 4