"What If"...
Sept. 11th Had Affected the Gang
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Brian lifted himself out the armchair
and placed a giggling Gus into Justin’s arms.
He quickly kissed the teen.
“Later”
“Later”
Lindsay followed him to the door and
smiled at the affectionate exchange she had just witnessed.
“Wipe that grin off your face,” snapped
Brian. She laughed.
“Thanks for letting him spend the days
with you. He’s really nervous about
starting PIFA next week. I know spending
time with a fellow artist is boosting his confidence,” Brian whispered.
“It’s my pleasure Brian. You’re not the only one that needs to be
around him after such a close call. You
don’t let the rest of us spend much time with him. And his hand is getting stronger but it could
still be a problem,” she warned.
“I know but he is just starting to get
over the fear and anxiety. Positive thinking and encouragement are very
important right now.”
She raised her eyebrow and smiled.
“Shut up. I have a client meeting at ten and a staff
meeting at two. I’ll bring lunch in
between.”
“Can’t stand to be away from him for
even a day?” Lindsay taunted.
“Isn’t possible that it’s your company
that I enjoy?”
“No.”
“Gus?”
“A one year old for a lunch date when
you’re wearing a thousand dollar suit. Right.”
Brian laughed as he stood on her
porch. “See you around
Lindsay returned to the living room to
find Justin tickling Gus. They were both
laughing.
Mel came up beside her and sighed, “It’s so great to see him getting back to being Justin again.”
Mel and Justin were sharing the paper as
Lindsay made breakfast. Gus was happily
moving his pieces of fruit around the highchair tray. The radio was on in the background and all of
a sudden the music stopped.
We interrupt our programming for this
breaking news story.
An airplane has crashed into the
The three adults in the room looked at
each other. Justin and Lindsay silently
made their way to the living room and the television. Mel pulled Gus and his highchair to the dining
room and then joined the others.
“Oh My God,” gasped Lindsay.
“Fuck” said Mel.
Justin’s breath caught in his
throat. None of them could believe what
they were seeing.
Brian sat in his office going over the
presentation notes for his morning meeting when he noticed Cynthia standing in
front of his desk with a strange look on her face.
“What?”
“Crash,” she said in a shaky voice. “Plane.
“Huh?”
“Plane crashed in
“Right in the city?”
“World Trade Centre.”
Brian looked at her then reached for the
remote to his TV. They watched as the
top floors of the tower were engulfed in flames. Brian stood up and placed a comforting arm
around her shoulders.
“Have you tried to call her?” he asked as he wiped a tear that trailed down
her cheek.
“No”
He turned and grabbed his phone off the
desk. “What’s the number?”
“What?”
Brian was concerned that she may be
going into shock. “Your sister’s
number?” he asked, raising the phone to
her sightline.
“UH.
555-2241”
Brian dialed the number. “It’s busy.”
Cynthia looked at Brian and wiped her
face of tears. “Maybe she’s home. Maybe
she wasn’t at work,” she said hopefully.
Brian pulled her into a hug. “I hope so.”
For the next ten minutes, Cynthia
redialed her sister’s number over and over as Brian watched the news
coverage. His cell phone’s ring startled
him.
“Hey”
“Did you see that? In
“Yeah.
Are you okay? You sound weird?”
“I’m okay. But those poor people….” He paused as he saw
a second plane hit the other tower.
“Fuck” gasped Brian . “That’s not an
accident. It’s an attack.”
“God,” cried Justin.
“Justin listen to me. I’m going to cancel my meetings and get to
the munchers. I have to drive Cynthia to
her mother’s first. She’s quite shaken.
Her sister works there and we can’t get a hold of her.”
“Oh No,” said Justin sadly. “Tell her I’ll pray for her sister.”
“I will.
I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Cynthia was crying as she frantically
dialed and redialed. Her eyes never
leaving the TV screen for long. Brian
watched her for a minute and then went out to her desk to look for the client’s
phone number.
“Brian, have you seen it? I think we should close for the day. For obvious reasons and also because this
could change how we market things in the future,” said Ryder as he walked
toward him.
“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing,” answered Brian as he looked through Cynthia’s rollodex.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking for a phone number,” mumbled
Brian.
“Where’s Cynthia?”
“Her sister works there,” replied Brian,
pointing into his office.
Ryder looked in, “Damn, uh… tell her to
take as much time as she needs and if there’s anything we can do….”
“Yeah, I’m going to take her to her
mother’s as soon as I cancel my
“Go.
I’ll look after it. Just take
care of her. Lord knows she’s done her
share of taking care of you.”
Brian eased the jeep onto the highway. The traffic was thick as everyone made their
way home to their families. Cynthia sat
in silent turmoil next to him. Tears
streamed down her face. She clutched her
cell phone in her right hand. She had
given up trying to call Jane, hoping to receive a call from her instead. The quiet of the jeep was interrupted by
Brian’s cell. Cynthia jumped and turned
hers on. “Jane?” she cried.
“Cyn, it’s mine,” said Brian.
“Oh.”
“What?” Brian said into his phone.
“Brian, it’s Michael. Can you believe it? Where are you? Can I…”
“Mikey, listen I have my hands full
right now,” interrupted Brian. “I’m
heading to Lindsay’s soon. Justin is
already there. Call her maybe we could
all watch together. I’m taking Cynthia
to her mother’s in the burbs. I won’t be
too long. Bye.”
Brian stood in the entryway and saw the
whole gang gathered around the TV.
Justin was the first to see him.
Sensed him was more like it. He
rushed to Brian for a hug. He was shaken
and confused by the way his world had changed yet again. Brian held him for a few minutes before
pulling away.
“I’m going to go change out of my work
clothes,” he said, holding up a gym bag.
“Okay”
“How’s Cynthia?” asked Lindsay.
“Still no word from Jane. Cyn and her mother were frantic after the
“How awful” said Deb.
“Poor Cynthia,” sighed Justin, making
his way back to the couch.
“I could hear the emergency vehicles on
their way to the crash outside of town,”
Brian told the group before he went to change.
They sat in horror gathered around the
TV and watched the second tower fall.
And then they watched the whole thing over and over again.
While Justin was in the bathroom Brian
answered the teen’s cell. Jennifer explained that she had to see Justin right
away. He told Jennifer to join them and
to bring Molly. She could play with
Gus. When Justin returned, Brian told
him Jennifer was on her way and that she sounded freaked and obviously needed
to see her baby boy.
Mel showed Jennifer and Molly into the
living room. Justin rose and took Molly
over to Gus’ playpen so she could play with him. She loved to play with little babies. Then he went to his mother and gave her a
hug. He felt the tension in her body.
“Justin, can I speak with you
privately?” she asked.
“Sure,” he replied and led her to the
kitchen.
From his seat Brian watched mother and
son through the two doorways between the living room and the kitchen. He saw Jennifer begin to talk and Justin
gasp. They talked for another minute and
then held each other. After a moment
they straightened and Justin asked his mother something. Brian couldn’t make out what they were saying
but he could tell it wasn’t good. Both
“Justin?” said Brian as they entered the
room. Justin looked at him sadly.
“Molly, honey, can you come over here
for a minute?”
“Yes Mommy.”
Jennifer smiled at her daughter but
sadness was obvious in her eyes. “Molly,
do you know where Daddy is?” she began.
Molly looked at the television and then
hesitantly replied “
Seeing the fear in her little girl’s
eyes made Jennifer sick to her stomach.
She didn’t know what to say next.
“Do you remember who Teresa is?” asked
Justin as he sat next to his sister.
“Daddy’s secretary.”
“She called Mommy this morning,”
continued Justin.
“Yeah.”
Jennifer lowered herself to a kneeling
position in front of her children. “Sweetheart,
Daddy had a meeting at the World Trade Centre this morning.”
Several gasps could be heard from the
others in the room. Brian’s eyes
remained fixed on his young lover. How
much more can he take he thought to himself.
Again Molly looked to the TV. Her eyes
filled with tears. “Is Daddy dead?” she asked with a shaky voice.
“We don’t know. We are pretty sure he
was there. But he could have gotten out.
He could have been running late. We just
don’t know, Mol?” Justin tried to
explain.
“He’s dead. He would have called,” she cried.
“The phones aren’t working very well in
“No. He’s dead. My Daddy is dead,” she yelled as she pushed
past her mother and ran out the door.
“Molly.”
“I’ll go,” said Justin and he followed
his sister outside.
Jennifer sat down and buried her face in
her hands. Debbie rushed to hug her. Vic
sat on the other side and offered his support as well. Brian stood and stared out
the window watching Justin and Molly talking on the front lawn. Lindsay joined him and her heart ached as she
watched Molly collapse in tears in her brother’s arms.
“I’ll get started on some lunch,” said
Mel. She needed something to do.
“We’ll help,” said Ted pulling Emmett
behind him.
By the time lunch was ready Justin and
Molly had returned to the house. As they
entered the living room, Michael reached for the remote and turned the TV off.
“You don’t have to do that. We want to watch,” said Justin as he sat
sideways in an armchair. Molly climbed
into his lap and rested her head on his chest.
“Justin, maybe that’s not such a good
idea for Molly…” Lindsay started to say.
“I want to see it,” Molly cut her
off. Michael clicked the television on.
The siblings sat and sadly watched the
Towers fall again and again. Justin gently stroked Molly’s hair and she quietly
asked him questions. Their voices were
low enough that the others could only make out a word here or there.
“See Molly, look at all those people
leaving
“Maybe,” Molly smiled at him.
“Justin you have to take your meds,”
Brian said. “You should have taken them awhile ago.”
“Do you want to help me give Gus a
bath?” Lindsay asked Molly.
“Okay,” she replied. She got up but stopped and kissed Justin on
the cheek. “Thanks, Jester.”
“I love you, Mollusk.”
She smiled and followed Lindsay
upstairs.
Brian handed Justin a plate with a
sandwich on it. “Eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” he sighed.
“You have to eat before you take your
pills. Eat.”
Justin picked at his food until half of
it was gone. He got his backpack and
retrieved his pills and joined the ladies in the kitchen.
“Poor Kid,” said Ted.
“He seems to be holding up okay,” Michael said.
“I don’t know,” stated Brian taking the seat Justin had just left.
When Justin returned Brian pulled him to
the chair and arranged him in Molly’s previous position.
“How you doing?” Brian asked concerned.
“I don’t know what to feel. He didn’t care when I almost died. Am I supposed to care now?”
“You’re the only one who can answer that
question,” Brian responded as he started to rub the blonde’s hair.
“Mom and Molly are what’s
important. That is what I have to focus
on. Molly has been through so much, first
I leave the family and hardly ever see her.
Then our parents get divorced and I get bashed and now this.”
“You’ve been through a lot too,” offered
Vic.
“I’m okay. She’s only nine.”
After diner Justin and Brian accompanied
Jennifer and Molly to their condo. Molly
had become more and more attached to Justin as the day wore on. So he decided to tuck her in. He programmed Brian’s number into her phone
and then read her a book like he used to when they still lived together. He made sure she understood she could call
him anytime.
Brian and Jennifer sat in the living
room. An uncomfortable silence filled
the room.
“If there’s anything I can do. If you need help with arrangements or I don’t
know,” Brian voice trailed off.
“Thank you Brian. But you don’t have to. I know you didn’t like Craig.”
“I didn’t like how he treats
Justin. I’m worried about him. I know that he is feeling more than he is
letting on.”
“I agree.”
“My father was a bastard and never
treated me well. In fact most of the
time he was a miserable person. I know
for a fact that he never loved or wanted me.
But I still had mixed emotions when he died.”
“I’m so sorry Brian.”
“It’s okay but Justin has years of happy memories. This is going to hit him sooner or later. I just hope he’s strong enough.”
“I know you’ll be there for him just as
you have for the last few months.”
Justin came down the stairs “she’s asleep.”
Jennifer stood and hugged her son. She then looked in his beautiful eyes. “Are you alright?” she asked.
“Yeah.
What about you?”
“It’s weird. I’m not in love with him anymore and we have
done nothing but fight for quite awhile but I never wished him harm. We did have a good marriage for a few years
and I used to love him very much. I hope and pray he will contact us tomorrow.”
“That’s pretty much how I feel too.”
“Why don’t you stay here tonight,” Brian
said. “I’ll bring you some stuff in the
morning.”
“I think I’d like to go with you if
that’s okay? Molly has the number. I programmed it into her phone. She’ll call if she needs to talk to me.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
Justin gave his mother another hug and
then followed Brian out.
Brian slid the door to the loft open and Justin walked toward the bedroom. He was exhausted. Brian paused at his desk and hit play on the machine. There were five messages.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
BEEP
“Shit! Brian did you see that?”
Michael’s voice came through the speaker.
Brian headed for the Beam. What a fucking he day he thought to himself.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
BEEP
“Justin…
Justin are you there?”
Both men froze as Craig Taylor’s voice
filled the loft. Justin slowly turned
toward the desk.
“Kinney please make sure Justin gets
this message. I’m in the World Trade
Centre. I’m sure you know that a plane has crashed into the building. The other tower has collapsed. I don’t know if I’m going to get out of here. I’m in the stairwell making my way down but
I’m on the 43rd floor now.
Justin, I don’t want to die with my son thinking that I don’t love
him. I love you very much. After you
woke up, your mother and I had an argument and she told me to grow up and start
acting like a man. That you were more of
a man than I am. Justin, she’s
right. You are stronger and braver than
I could ever hope to be.
I have started therapy. I was going to wait until I had worked through a few more issues before I told you. But I need you to know I’m trying. I hope to understand and accept things but even if I can’t I still love you. I called the hospital several times a day while you were there. I asked them not to tell you. I didn’t want to upset you. It was someone with similar ideas that hurt you in the first place. I am very ashamed of my behaviour. I failed you as a father and you were never anything but the perfect son. I hope to tell you this in person but if I don’t get the chance please take care of yourself. I know I don’t have to ask you to take care of Molly and your mother. I know you’ll do that. Tell them that I love them and I’m sorry for destroying our family. Shit my battery is going. I love you. Kinney, please watch out for my boy… I apologize for what I did to y…”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The line filled with static. Brian looked to Justin. His heart broke from the look on his lover’s face. Tears were streaming down both their cheeks as Justin slowly crumpled to the floor. He was too weak to stand. Brian went to him and held him as he began to sob. They sat on the floor for hours while Brian held the sobbing heartbroken teen. His wails echoed through the dark loft.
Return to What If