Kynergy
Author's Note: This is a fic I wrote for the qaf_giftxchnge. It was in answer to a request from galeandrandy.
If anyone is wondering about the title - part of the
request stipulated that if Brian had his own company it should not be named
Kinnetik if Justin didn't name it.
I tossed around a few ideas, but liked "Kynergy". It plays on Brian's name of
course, and on the word "synergy" - defined as: "a mutually advantageous
conjunction or compatibility of distinct business participants or elements (as
resources or efforts)".
I thought that was appropriate for Brian's business, because advertising relies
on successful synergies developing between the advertiser and the client. But I
also thought that in a non-business sense, it was also kind of appropriate for
Brian and Justin and the relationship they develop in this story.
Also, it plays a little on "kin", and I think that those two do have a strong
kinship of attitudes and values which is not always recognised by those who
still see Justin as the emotional young innocent he was at the beginning.
(Personally, I've always thought he was the tough one of the partnership.)
Anyway, that's how "Kynergy" came about and why I used it for the story title.
*****
It was somehow both suitable and ironic that the first place they fucked was at
the GLC. The restroom stalls were pathetically small, but neither of them were
exactly fat, or even over-muscled, so they managed a reasonably satisfactory
outcome. At least, Brian grinned to himself, it broke the fucking boredom of the
"art show" fundraiser that Debbie had twisted his arm to attend. What impressed
Brian that first time wasn’t the blond guy’s nearly perfect bubble butt, or even
the size of his cock, but that he unapologetically strolled ahead of Brian back
into the hall that was being used tonight as a "gallery", with no attempt to
disguise where they’d been or what they’d been doing.
Apparently a man after his own outlaw heart.
But of course, their appearance provoked a rash of remonstrances and Brian’s
tolerance level for the sanctimonious being what it was, he figured he’d put in
enough of an appearance to get Deb off his back and didn’t hang around much
longer. He sure as Hell never got around to asking the guy’s name.
The second time they fucked was in the backroom at Babylon. Brian didn’t
normally "do" seconds, but it was a quiet night and the pickings were slim. It
was either reacquaint himself with that delicious ass or settle for something
totally second rate. It was a no brainer really. His only regret was that the
guy didn’t seem any more keen on prolonging matters than he was, and walked off
with only a cheeky over-the-shoulder grin before Brian could persuade him that
those full lips would look amazing wrapped around Brian’s cock.
He got his chance at that, though, when he reluctantly turned up at one of
Mikey’s little dinner parties to find the blond guy lounging on the couch trying
to pretend some interest in the latest life-theory that Ben was spouting.
Michael even introduced them. "This is Brian. He’s my best friend. We’ve been
friends forever and he’s a big Captain Astro fan too."
Sometimes Brian wondered if the fucking time capsule in Mikey’s head would be
any use to help fend off old age and wrinkles. It seemed to do a great job of
freezing people in one time and place - in Mikey’s mind, anyway.
"And this is Justin, Justin Taylor. He’s an artist and we’re working on doing a
comic together."
Brian raised an eyebrow. "So you’re a superhero fan?"
Justin shrugged. "I’ve always been interested in graphic art and since my hand
got fucked up a while back, it’s easier to produce than sketching or that shit
because I can use a lot of computer generated images."
"Justin was attacked at his prom," Ben explained in his quiet voice.
"You must remember, Brian. Mom went nuts when she found out the guy who attacked
him only got community service. She organized rallies and wrote to the
politicians and everything."
Brian shrugged again. He did his best not to listen when Deb was on one of her
crusades.
He’d known her for over twenty years now and he’d long ago learned that letting
Deb have her head and just getting out of her way was a key survival skill for
anyone whose interest in fighting the injustices she saw everywhere was
virtually zero. Not that he didn’t see the injustices. He did. He just liked to
pick his battles and not get caught up in the (usually short-lived) fight for
Debbie’s latest cause. She had the attention span of a gerbil, and while there
was no doubting her sincerity, she was always getting some new bee in her
bonnet, starting some new campaign. Mind you, Brian thought with an inward grin,
he did remember this particular one, now he came to think about it. He should.
He’d used his contacts to make sure it leaked to the papers that the judge in
question had spent nearly three hours glued to a courthouse toilet seat.
But Mikey’s new neighbors turned up just then and it wasn’t long before Brian
was escaping to the backyard on the excuse of wanting a cigarette. Of course, as
he left the room he was the subject of yet another diatribe about how un-evolved
he was. As he stalked out the back door, the last words he heard were Mikey
committing the unforgiveable sin of referring to his bout with cancer a few
years ago as another reason why he should give up smoking. Brian hated any
mention of that time. He didn’t need any reminder that he was no longer young
and beautiful; no longer as desirable as he’d once been.
He was feeling irritable and annoyingly melancholic as he took his first drag,
wishing he’d had the forethought to bring a couple of joints. He didn’t hear
Justin approach until a hand reached out to tweak the cigarette out of his hand.
He turned his head, the protest stilled in his throat as he watched those full
lips suck at the tobacco cylinder and then blow out a cloud of smoke. He felt
his cock twitch, all morbid thoughts suddenly departed; banished by a frisson of
pure lust.
Blue eyes met his, and he recognized the question they were asking. With a grin
he led the way down the side of the house, his hands already working his zip and
was gratified when, as soon as they were out of sight of the street, his psychic
powers seemed to work and Justin got on with things, sinking to his knees and
half-swallowing the cock Brian had already freed from his jeans. It wasn’t the
best blow job he’d ever had, but it was a hell of a long way from being the
worst either. He was even half-tempted to reciprocate, but Mikey’s voice cut
through the night, demanding to know where he was, and before he knew it Justin
was standing, brushing sodden leaves from the knees of his pants. He decided to
keep that option in mind, though.
Given that they’d fucked three times but had yet to exchange more than the few
sentences in Mikey’s living room, Brian figured this guy knew the score and had
no problem with it. That being the case, one more hook up, maybe even at the
loft, seemed a lot more appealing than a trip to Babylon to get his needs met
and shake off the stress of this visit to Mikey’s suburban hell hole.
But first he had to get through dinner.
That wasn’t as bad as it might have been, largely due to this Justin guy, whose
tolerance for bullshit seemed to be on about a level with his own and who showed
himself to be more than capable of putting Marty and Smarty (or
whatever-the-fuck their names were) in their places. Brian could afford to sit
back and watch the show; his own thoughts clear enough to read in the
tongue-in-cheek smirk he made no attempt to disguise.
As it turned out, Justin didn’t have a car so offering him a lift home was a
natural thing to do. One slow blink of Justin’s surprisingly clear blue eyes
told Brian he perfectly understood what was really on offer and was happy to
accept. One glare from Michael’s eyes told Brian he knew what was on offer as
well, and didn’t approve. But who gave a fuck? If Brian had lived his life
according to what Mikey approved of, he’d have gone to community college and
wound up working somewhere like the Big fucking Q instead of owning his own
agency. Or at least, he’d have caved in to Vance and would still have been
dealing with all his bullshit.
Things had gone sour with the head of his former agency because, after the
cancer, he’d refuse to work on campaigns for any of the homophobic pricks Vance
seemed to attract as clients. When Vance had tried to break the partnership
agreement, Brian had taken legal advice and threatened to sue for unfair
dismissal. Since the only real reason Vance had for getting rid of him was that
the agency’s more conservative clients, the ones Vance had brought in himself,
were putting the screws on him over his partner’s "lifestyle", he’d found
himself in something of a bind. Those same conservative clients did not want to
find themselves front and center in any kind of discrimination case, and made it
clear that the whole thing just needed to go away. They were even prepared to
pay to make that happen.
It had been ugly for a while, but the upshot for Brian was that he’d gotten a
decent payout and his kick-ass lawyer had insisted that if there was even a hint
of a non-compete clause the whole deal was off the table. Vance could take his
chances in court and try explaining why he was so eager to get rid of a junior
partner who’d brought in more than 80% of the agency’s business, whose ads had
won a number of prestigious awards and whose clients were all prepared to troop
into court and testify that they were extremely happy with the campaigns he’d
developed for them.
In fact, a couple of them with contracts up for renewal, had been prepared to
take a chance on him and the fledgling agency he’d started, and so Kynergy had
been born. Things had been tough at first, but now it was starting to thrive,
even with the all the ups and downs of the economy. In fact, the economic
downturn may even have helped. With so many businesses on the brink, sales
growth was more important than ever; and Brian Kinney had a proven track record
for achieving exactly that. So his professional life was doing well.
His personal life was less satisfactory.
The truth was, he was lonely. Although he’d fought like Hell against recognizing
anything so pathetically lesbianic.
But ever since Lindsay, his Wendy, had taken herself off to Canada with the son
he’d never expected to love … well, something had gone out of his life, some
spark. And now, everything felt … cold and kind of distant. Not the familiar
distance he’d built around himself; this was something else. As if he was
somehow separated from the life, the lives, going on all around him. It left him
feeling, not isolated, he was familiar with that; but adrift, as if what he did
or didn’t do just didn’t matter. That was a new sensation, and not a welcome
one.
Once, he knew that people noticed when he walked into a room, especially when he
walked into any of his hunting grounds – Babylon, Woody’s, the Baths. But now …
now he felt invisible. He felt like he had to work to attract the attention he
was accustomed to, and when he was being honest with himself he admitted that he
just didn’t have the energy for that shit anymore.
It didn’t help that Mikey, his "best friend" had grown away from him of late,
wrapped up in his own concerns. Brian got that. He really did. What he didn’t
get was why Mikey insisted both on sneering at his "over-the-hill" club-boy
lifestyle and at the same time refusing to let him move past it, to see him as
anything but "Brian Fucking Kinney". But then, maybe even Mikey didn’t realize
just how scared he was – scared of getting older so that no self-respecting fag
would want to fuck him except as a pity fuck, and even more scared of trying to
have any kind of fucking relationship.
Well, it didn’t fucking matter. Fucking was just that – a way to get your rocks
off, nothing more; and given Kynergy’s success, if worst came to worst, he’d
always be able to pay for it if he had to. Whores didn’t reject you as long as
you had the cash.
Once, he’d have been tempted to off himself if the rejections became too hard to
handle. But not now. Not after coming so fucking close to dying; not after
having to fight like Hell just to keep enough food in his stomach to keep
himself alive. Now he knew better, knew himself better. He hadn’t come so far,
fought his way out from under the Kinney curse, just to throw it all away
because his widdle feelings were hurt when some hot young thing wasn’t prepared
to fall to his knees and worship the Kinney cock the way they once had.
The hot young thing he was with tonight had been more than happy to do exactly
that, anyway, so who gave a fuck what might happen tomorrow?
"So where do you live?"
A reasonable question, given that he was supposed to be driving the guy home.
The guy … Justin ... wrinkled his nose. "In a shitty little "graduate"
apartment, over on Bayard."
He paused a moment and then went on. "If we’re going to fuck, we’d probably be
more comfortable at your place."
Another pause. Then, with a grin Brian could hear in his voice. "At least we
probably won’t have someone pounding on the fucking walls if we get too loud."
Brian laughed.
"Seriously?" he couldn’t help asking.
"Seriously. The place has got totally paper thin walls and my neighbor is
twenty-three going on seventy and I don’t think she ever got laid in her life.
Plus my bed is just about falling apart and it creaks every time I turn over,
let alone when it’s getting a proper workout."
"My place it is, then," Brian said easily.
"Good choice," Justin approved.
He seemed to approve even more strongly when the loft door slid open revealing
the minimalist elegance of Brian’s loft.
His eyes widened a little, and he nodded in appreciation, but all he said was,
"Nice" as he moved towards the bedroom steps.
Brian caught up to him as he stood by the bed pulling off his sweater.
He watched appreciatively but intervened when the g … Justin’s hands moved
downwards.
"Let me do that," he purred.
It was the first time he’d had the chance to appreciate th … Justin’s finer
qualities: the softness of his fair hair, neither too coarse, nor too fine the
way so many blonds were; the fairness of his skin and the way it flushed when he
began to become aroused; the sensitivity of his nipples, enhanced by the nipple
ring through one of them, and the delicious moan he gave when Brian bent his
head and tugged on it gently with his teeth; and most of all, the surprisingly
large cock which rewarded Brian’s seeking hands by growing and filling as soon
as he began stroking it.
Brian found himself glad that he’d abandoned his one fuck only policy where this
g… Justin … was concerned. These delights had been wasted in their previous
encounters and now could be enjoyed to the full.
And enjoy them he did. Several times. He was both surprised and pleased that he
managed to keep up with the apparently voracious sexual appetite of his guest.
Since the cancer, his libido had taken a bit of a nosedive, and he was never
sure anymore just how many times he’d be able to get it up; but tonight that
didn’t seem to be a problem. In fact, he felt kind of sorry when Justin finally
rolled out of the bed and asked, "Can I call a cab? I think my cell phone’s
probably died."
But years of habit took over and he just grunted permission and headed into the
bathroom. By the time he came out Justin was dressed and just pulling on his
trainers.
Brian felt awkward, which was strange; and like he wanted to say something to
persuade this guy, this … Justin … to stay. And that was stranger still.
But the cab honked in the street and Justin, with a quick grin headed towards
the door.
Brian wanted to deny, even to himself, that he felt even lonelier that night.
He worked harder than usual that week, finishing late, and heading straight
home; but by Friday he was horny and feeling antsy enough to overcome the
boredom that was his principle reaction these days to the thought of his old
playground so he changed and headed out to Babylon. He was leaning against the
bar wondering if there was anyone worth pursuing; anyone worth taking the risk
of a knock-back, when a blond head appeared at his shoulder.
"Is it just me," Justin asked, "or are pickings kind of slim tonight?"
Brian shrugged, and told himself that his heart rate did not just speed up a
little.
Justin huffed. "I’ve had a mediocre blow job in the back room
and seriously, I don’t really see anything worth even going to the trouble of
unbuttoning these jeans for." He gestured downwards. "They’re new," he
explained, " and the fucking buttonholes are so stiff it just seems like too
much effort for any of these losers."
One of those slow blinks in Brian’s direction.
"Present company excepted, of course."
For a moment Brian met the mix of innocence and invitation in those blue eyes
with a non committal smirk. Then he grinned. "Want to wake up the neighbors?" he
asked.
Justin laughed.
"I don’t think so. I can’t afford to get a better place yet. I’m still paying
off my student loans."
Brian just nodded and with no more said, they headed out.
Next morning, the only coherent thought Brian could remember having had during
the night was that he was seriously going to have to re-evaluate the quality of
Justin’s blow jobs. The first one might have been a little lacklustre, but that
must have been the circumstances, because give him the right setting and his
mouth and tongue seemed to have developed skills previously unknown to mankind.
At least, unknown to any of the myriad tricks Brian had previously encountered.
Not that Justin was a trick, exactly. He’d even stayed the night.
But that was just because they’d both fallen asleep. This morning, had Brian
woken to find a blond head drooling on the pillow next to his and hadn’t been
nearly as pissed by that as he should have been; would have been … once upon a
time.
So now he was in the bathroom shaving, waiting for Justin to wake up and trying
to decide if there was any way he could offer him coffee before he went without
it seeming like …
Well, like an offer of something else.
He was just putting down the razor when Justin came into the bathroom, yawning.
"Sorry, I fell asleep." He took a cautious sniff at himself. "Fuck, I reek! Is
it okay if I have a shower. I’ll be quick. I just don’t want to go home on the
bus smelling like this. They’d probably kick me off."
Brian shrugged, not sure at all how he felt.
"Sure. There are towels over there, just help yourself. I’m going to put on some
coffee."
He was brooding over the coffee-maker when Justin came down the steps into the
living area and in those circumstances it seemed only natural to offer him a
cup. He didn’t even have to say anything, just held up the mug with one raised
eyebrow.
Justin nodded and perched on one of the stools at the counter. "So," he said.
"I’ve been thinking."
Brian quirked the eyebrow again, his heart thudding a little with no idea where
this was going or how he’d feel about any of the possible destinations.
"You’re a great fuck, but I think we’ve seen too much of each other and we
should try to avoid each other for a while."
Well, that’s what he should be wanting to hear. Wasn’t it?
"I think we’ve been getting on really well and maybe we should even try
something like dinner next time … you know, see if we’re compatible at all
outside the bedroom."
Oh, fuck! Some kind of closet romantic. That was never going to end well. Best
call it quits now. Except …
"Fucking with you is so great. Let’s move in together."
Yeah, right. Like he would want to live with anybody. Like anybody would really
want to live with him.
"You’re amazing. I want to marry you and have your babies."
Okay, so now he was just getting paranoid.
"Look, I haven’t been on the scene all that long, because I could never afford
the cover charge at places like Babylon. But I had my fair share of guys in
college so I’m not exactly an innocent."
Brian, verbal skills apparently deserting him, resorted to the raised eyebrow
again.
"Anyway, since I’ve been going to the clubs, and bars and stuff, I haven’t come
across many guys that are actually all that great in bed. And it’s probably even
worse for you because you must have just about had anyone that you want anyway,
so why don’t we just become fuck buddies?"
Brian stared at him.
Fuck buddies.
That was … he could handle that.
He’d never really had a fuck buddy, but it sounded like something that he’d find
do-able. Still working on the maximum of pleasure, minimum of bullshit
principle. In fact, better, because the whole degree of pleasure thing was
chancy when you were never sure what you were getting. Once he supposed he’d
found that part of the thrill, trying to pick the ones who were good value,
betting his night’s degree of pleasure on his ability to make the right choice.
But he’d gotten over that what seemed like several light years back and now he
sometimes gave up the hunt because so often the pay-off just wasn’t worth it.
But with Justin … with Justin he’d know ahead of time just how good it could be.
And if he did find himself getting bored, or feeling stifled, well there weren’t
any rules that said that fuck buddies had to be exclusive.
He allowed himself something that was almost a smile. "Fuck buddies, huh?"
Justin nodded hopefully. "Sure. I mean, I work long hours anyway, plus I do some
tutoring for extra cash. And I still try to find some time for my own art, so it
doesn’t leave a lot of time to go looking, you know?"
Brian shrugged.
Justin looked a little discouraged. "I just thought … it’s not like I want some
hetero romance shit. I just want a good fuck occasionally, but it’s a real
lottery what you find in the clubs. Some guys are okay, but some think they’re
the greatest and any fucking skills they’ve got are seriously for shit, so … it
would be good to know I can be with someone every now and again who I know is
going to be great."
This time he was the one who shrugged.
Brian nodded.
"Okay. It’s Saturday and I’m about to head out to the gym. You want to catch up
later, or do you have plans for tonight?"
Fuck! He thought to himself. Couldn’t you have asked about one night next week?
Tonight? He’ll think I’m totally desperate. I guess I could …
Justin’s eyes opened in surprise but then he smiled. Not the little grins and
smirks Brian had seen before, but a full on smile. Brian found it
disconcertingly … beautiful.
"That would be great. Maybe not too early, though, because I’ve promised to work
till nine tonight – the gallery’s got a show on."
"Sounds good. You want to come straight here afterwards?"
Justin blushed. He actually fucking blushed, Brian noted, half astonished, half
charmed.
"Well, I’ll need to stop somewhere and get something to eat, I won’t have had
dinner and I’m useless if I’m hungry."
As if on cue, his stomach rumbled and Brian found himself laughing.
"Don’t worry," he said. "I’ll order some takeout for around 9.30. Thai okay for
you?"
"Oh, yeah. That’d be great. Thank you."
Brian shrugged.
Justin smiled again. "Okay, well, I have to go, but I’ll see you later tonight."
"Later," Brian affirmed.
And so it began. At first they both seemed to find it a little awkward to set
times and dates for hooking up, almost like making a "real" date; but given
Brian’s workload and Justin’s various activities it pretty soon became obvious
that being totally spontaneous wasn’t going to work for them. The first time
Brian (after a ridiculous amount of angst) texted Justin to ask if he wanted to
come over it turned out Justin was totally in the zone with a painting and
didn’t even see the text until the next morning. And when he sent a reply asking
if that night would be okay, Brian was up to his eyeballs putting together a
pitch that had been rescheduled at the last minute and with only a day’s notice.
So they both realized that it was a lot easier to schedule stuff ahead of time.
Sure, sometimes one or other of them had to cancel, but that was no big deal.
Although Brian was uncomfortably aware that he felt let down whenever Justin
cancelled and almost worse when he had to cancel himself.
After a while they got into a routine – during the week, if they wanted to hook
up, they’d try texting. If it happened, great, if it didn’t, no big deal.
On Friday nights they’d share a takeout at the loft and see what happened from
there. Sometimes they’d head out to Babylon for a while, sometimes they’d just
head for the bedroom … or the couch … or the shower … or, on one infamous
occasion, the kitchen counter. That fuck had been memorable, but it had resulted
in bruised hips for Justin and two broken coffee cups, so they didn’t try to
repeat it. Justin always stayed the night and left on Saturday to go to his job
at the gallery. Saturday night they’d get together at some point (just when
mainly depended on Justin and how the latest painting was coming along) and
again Justin would stay the night. Sunday, Brian would drive to the deli down
the street for coffee and bagels and they’d share them before Justin headed out
to his regular Sunday afternoon tutoring session. After a while, Brian added the
Sunday papers to his shopping list and they shared those as well, trading any
interesting items they found and challenging each other over clues to the
crosswords.
Brian hated the fact that Sunday nights were the loneliest of the week. They
felt that way, anyhow.
Maybe that was one of the reasons that he was the one who suggested that Justin
bring some clothes over so that he’d have stuff to wear to the gallery on
Saturday and wouldn’t have to go home first. It made sense since the gallery was
much closer to the loft than it was to Justin’s shitty little apartment. But it
also meant that there were things of Justin's there at the loft through the
week. For some reason that made Brian feel … better.
Brian had seen that apartment by now and could only agree with Justin’s
assessment. He supposed it was okay for a first apartment, and Justin’s tutoring
come classroom assistant work at the college meant that he got it at graduate’s
rates, but it was still pretty basic, and Justin was right, the walls were paper
thin. Their one attempt at a quick fuck on Justin’s not-really-long-enough for
Brian bed had resulted in a barrage of thumps that had provided a not very
welcome counterpoint to the creaks and groans of the bed and the other groans
and moans that seemed to get pulled out of both of them whenever they were
together. Brian couldn’t remember every being as … vocal as he was when he and
Justin fucked.
But the thing was that all during the weeks, even months, that their arrangement
had been going on, they’d managed somehow to keep their fuck buddy status under
the radar. Brian knew that Justin was working on a first draft of some comic
book with Michael. He knew that Justin worked, of all places, at Sydney Bloom’s
gallery. But he didn’t go near Mikey’s shop if Justin was scheduled to be there,
and he hadn’t been inside the gallery since Lindsay left town. Brian still hung
out occasionally at the diner, where Justin didn’t go, and still spent Saturdays
at the gym with the guys. He and Justin didn’t go out anywhere together except
to Babylon and the only one of the old gang who still went there even
occasionally was Emmett. And if Emmett had seen them arriving and leaving
together a few times, for some reason it seemed like he was keeping his mouth
shut about it. Just as Ted kept his mouth shut about how much more relaxed Brian
seemed at work.
So Brian wasn’t really thinking about the possible consequences of their …
whatever it was … being made public property on the Sunday morning when it all
went to Hell.
They were sprawled at each end of the couch as usual sharing the Sunday papers,
a pot of coffee and some bagels – Brian’s wholewheat with low fat spread and
Justin’s white with cream cheese - when, without any warning, the door to the
loft suddenly creaked open.
"Brian! I’ve been calling you for days and you haven’t answered. Linds and Mel
are coming down for Chris…"
Stunned silence for a minute and then, "What the fuck is he doing here?"
Even with that first outraged exclamation from his "best friend" Brian knew that
everything that had been so good about the last few months was about to come
crashing down around him.
Just for a while, he felt like he’d almost had it all.
He’d had his business success.
Had kept his still almost legendary status on Liberty Avenue even though he no
longer felt the need to try to live up the legend anymore.
He’d had regular, on tap abso-fucking-lutely spectacular sex.
And he’d had mornings like this one had been; mornings when he got to spend time
with someone who … well, okay, so it wasn’t love and all that bullshit … but it
was honest and it was … something. Something that was to do with how he felt …
not so much about Justin, but about himself when Justin was around. Because
Justin over the past months had seen him lose it, seen him angry and pissed off
at clients and life in general; had seen him laughing and relaxed, seen him at
his best and at his worst, and still liked just hanging with him on a Sunday
morning.
But now Mikey was here, about to demand explanations and definitions and
everything that had been just easy and right and no one else’s fucking business
was all about to go down the shithole.
For some reason he actually felt like fucking crying, and couldn’t speak because
he wasn’t sure that his voice would work; and how pathetic was that?
But he didn’t have to speak, because Justin did it for him.
"Hi, Michael. You were saying? About Lindsay and Melanie?"
Brian watched as Michael gaped at Justin, seemingly struck dumb not just by his
presence, but by the calm way he got up and fetched another coffee cup, his
sweats hanging low on his hips and his feet encased in a pair of thick woolen
socks. Everything about him spoke of someone who felt right at home here in the
sanctity of Brian’s loft.
"Brian …" Michael tried to reorient himself by turning to the one who for so
long had stood solitary and alone like the needle on a compass at the center of
Michael’s personal universe.
But Brian, taking his cue from Justin, sat down and picked up his coffee cup.
"There’s a half a bagel left if you want it," he offered. "What are the girls up
to?"
"They’re coming down for Christmas," Michael responded automatically, accepting
the cup of coffee Justin handed him and sitting in one of the uncomfortable
chairs.
He tried again to take control of the situation. "Brian, we need to talk."
"About the girls coming home for the holidays? What’s the point? Mother Novotny
will have their time organized down to the last second."
All the same, he did feel some twinge of something … anticipation, maybe … about
the thought that he could be seeing his Sonnyboy in just a few weeks.
"No!" Michael protested. "Not about the girls. About …"
He broke off and glanced towards Justin.
"Nothing to talk about there either," Justin said firmly. "Nothing there that’s
any of your business. Anyone’s business, except Brian’s and mine."
Brian wished he could have got a million dollar bet on Michael’s next words, so
predictable were they.
"He’s my best friend!"
"Unless he’s fucking you, then I can’t see that his being your friend makes any
difference to the fact that we fuck occasionally."
"Occasionally!" Michael squawked, his voice going up an octave or two.
"Sure," Justin shrugged.
"So … what … are you like "lovers" now?"
The way that he said it made it clear how ridiculous an idea that seemed to him.
Justin regarded him thoughtfully, then turned his eyes towards Brian. "I guess
we are," he said. "In a non-defined, non-conventional way, I suppose that’s just
what we are."
And Brian’s world, that had tottered so severely when the door had opened,
suddenly righted itself again.
"So," he said, his voice steady now and full of its usual piss and vinegar,
"Unless you’ve got anything more you want to share about the munchers'
homecoming visit … we’d kind of like to get back to what we were doing before
you burst in here."
Michael flushed and a vein in his temple throbbed. By the look on his face he
was half afraid that Brian was about to throw his comic colleague down on the
floor and start fucking him right then and there.
He knew there was something completely wrong about this; something monstrously
wrong in Justin’s being here in Brian’s loft, wearing what looked like Brian’s
sweats and making coffee with Brian’s coffee maker and ...
It was all just wrong. Just wait until his mother heard that his writing partner
and his best friend had been fucking around on him behind his back.
He half threw down his cup and headed for the door.
"I suppose you’re not even interested that you’ll be able to see Gus at
Christmas," he said as he opened the door to leave. "It’s okay," he finished
bitterly, "we’ll just tell him something came up."
Brian, secure in the knowledge that Lindsay would be using every trick and wile
in her considerable arsenal to get him to spend every possible minute with Gus,
found himself grinning across at his non-defined, non-conventional lover. "You
just do that, Mikey," he said as the door slid shut.
Justin smiled at him and Brian, taking that beautiful face in his hands smiled
back.
"Lovers, huh?"
"Well, I figured we graduated from fuck buddies around the time we started doing
the Sunday crosswords together … I mean how lover-ly is that?"
Brian, who absurdly felt like singing or dancing him round the room or something
equally romantic and ridiculous, simply laughed and kissed him.
Lover-ly indeed.
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