Homecoming

*41*

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Packing and Preparations


Justin

I let him go and while I keep one eye on Gus, I get out my phone and send a text message to his lawyer. It can't be right that Lindsay is pulling this shit. His attorney at least needs to know about it.

Gus is supposed to have his first supervised visit with Lindsay on Tuesday, and the way she's been behaving, God knows what she'll say to him. She might spill the beans that 'Mrs. K.' is his grandmother. She might even make it sound like Mrs. Kinney agrees with her that Gus shouldn't be living with his father.

It's not like I think that Brian and I are going to be perfect parents or anything. And I know that Brian thinks that eventually Gus should go back to Lindsay.

But right now she's just not behaving rationally, and I don't think she should be allowed anywhere near him.

I have no idea what she thought she was doing, going to Brian's Mom. I mean, did she think Brian would listen to anything his mother said? Or did she hope that she'd persuade Mrs. Kinney to speak to the judge and tell the Court that her son is a pervert who's going to rot in Hell because he likes cock?

And did Lindsay seriously think that any of that would make any difference?

It seems to me like she's totally delusional and she seriously needs to get help.

But meanwhile, it's up to me … well, to Brian and me, to see that all her shit-stirring doesn't hurt Gus.

So the first step is to make sure that Ms. Hershell knows exactly what dear Lindsay has been up to. Then she can advise us on what we can do about it.

Once that's done, Gus and I walk back to the loft. We're doing the not stepping on cracks thing and when he does step on one, I play at being the big growly bear who's going to eat him all up. He's laughing and laughing and, looking at him, I can't help but think about the man he so much resembles. I wonder if Brian ever had any moments in his childhood when he looked like this – so free and relaxed, his eyes sparkling and his face flushed from laughing so much.

I hate to think it, but I know he probably didn't.

Which of course makes me think of Mrs. Kinney.

I guess I'm kind of surprised that I didn't just explode at Brian's mother – if she can call herself that. But Brian obviously had some reason for bringing her to meet Gus. I know it's not something that he would do lightly. And fuck knows I am only too well aware how hard it is to get past wanting approval/ acceptance / whatever the fuck, from a parent who has turned their back on you. I would never be able to slam that door completely shut in my father's face, so I understand why Brian's not ready to do that to his mother.

Plus … she came to Brian. Whatever Lindsay wanted her to do, his Mom came to Brian instead.

That has to mean something.

I'm betting it sure as fuck means something to Brian.

Gus and I get home and I give him some juice and an apple and settle him down with some toys while I go online to order the stuff we need from the supermarket. By the time that's done, it's time to leave for the diner to meet Brian for lunch. On the way, I get a text from Ms. Hershell saying that she'll advise the court officer who'll be supervising Lindsay's visit with Gus on Tuesday what has happened.

Brian's already there when we get there and kind of wired, which isn't surprising, but he says that things are going well at the house. Well, what he actually says is that the builders seem less fucking incompetent than most, but from Brian that's practically a glowing endorsement.

He has about two bites from his sandwich and two cups of coffee – which doesn't exactly relax him. I'm wondering if I can get Kiki to keep an eye on Gus while I drag Kinney senior to the restroom for a quick blowjob when my cell rings.

It's my mother, with an offer that's too good to refuse. Now all I have to do is to convince Brian. I tell Mom it will probably be okay and I will let her know for sure later today.

 

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Brian

With Gus around we haven't really had a chance to talk and I'm betting my fucking partner is practically choking on everything he must want to say about why the fuck I lost my fucking mind and introduced Gus to my mother.

The thing is that I don't really have an answer. Well, except for the fact that once Lindsay let Joanie know about Gus it was only a matter of time before she forced a meeting with him. At least this way I could control how that meeting went. Including not letting Gus know that he was talking to another grandmother. And making sure that dear old Mom knows that I'm not prepared to acknowledge her that way.

She needn't think she's got any right to get involved in my son's life. I'm not going to give her the opportunity to fuck him up the way she did Clare and me. And I'm sure as shit not going to give her the chance to spout all her bigoted bullshit at him. He'll run into enough of that in his life. But not when I can prevent it.

So any time Joanie spends with Gus, either Justin or I will be there and the first sign of that shit and she's out the door and won't be coming back.

As it turns out, the shit with Joanie isn't the only thing he's stewing about. We take advantage of the fact that Emmett and Ted wander into the diner and can keep an eye on Gus for a few minutes and have a much needed fuck in the restroom.

While we're doing that, he lets me in on what else is buzzing around in his brain.

He tells me about sending the text to my lawyer. Should have thought of that myself; but he's got my back, so that's okay.

Then he tells me about his Mom's offer. Seems she's volunteered to come over tonight and do some baby sitting. She says she can get there around 9.30, by which time Gus should be in bed and asleep, and hold the fort while her son and I head out for a little of the sort of R&R we can't easily get with Gus around.

Contemplating hitting the floor at Babylon and even having a drink or two, and I can't say I'm not tempted. But I know we've got a long fucking day tomorrow that's going to be filled with frustrations and part of me is thinking that for once I should do the sensible thing and just stay home. I can tell the little twat is keen on the idea, though, and in the end I figure we could head out, have a drink and maybe even a game of pool at Woody's, then a nice leisurely fuck in the VIP lounge at Babylon and still be home by midnight.

It's the last one that finally makes me realize how much we both need this. The way we've had to rush through every fuck this week would make any self-respecting fag despair.

 

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Justin

I'm expecting a bigger battle, but as it turns out it's amazingly easy to persuade Brian that we both need a bit of a break. Guess he finally realizes that although having Gus with us is a huge responsibility, it still doesn't mean that every moment of our lives from now on has to be only about Gus. I mean, we have to consider him in everything we do, but as long as we make sure he's okay, we can still have time to ourselves without that harming Gus in any way.

I know Brian wants to be a good Dad. In fact, being the control freak he is, he won't settle for less than being the world's most perfect Dad; he'll beat himself up every time he thinks he's failed to reach some ridiculous standard of perfection. And the problem is that everyone else – well, Debbie, Michael and Lindsay, anyway, who are the three people he's always allowed to influence him the most – are going to hold him to the same kind of impossible standards.

But that's fucked.

Brian of all people is never going to be some character out of a lame old sitcom with no life outside work and the family living room – unless it's mowing the lawn or fixing the car. If Brian tries to be that character, he's dooming himself to failure.

But the thing is, he doesn't have to be.

He can be Brian fucking Kinney and still be a great Dad to Gus. It's just about finding the balance. And this week has all been about Gus, and making things as good and as comfortable as they can be for his son when both of his son's mothers seem to have lost their minds.

Now he needs some time just to be Brian, even if it's just for a few hours.

And for that matter, I need a few hours just to be Justin Taylor and not feel like I'm tied to the house and the kid 24/7.

I know that sounds selfish, but I read something somewhere that said, "You can't nourish others, if you don't nourish yourself."

And I think that's true. We have to keep things balanced, and make sure our needs are met as well as Gus' or the whole thing will just get too much for all of us.

So, as long as Mom is happy to baby-sit, then we should feel free to go out for a few hours and have a bit of fun. I want to shake my booty in front of all the hot and horny men at Babylon and then have Brian fuck me senseless, before we come home and get some sleep so that tomorrow I can help Brian go on being the world's hottest, as well as most perfect, Dad.

It's my job to make sure that we do find the balance, and that Brian doesn't beat himself up about it. I'm not going to let him do that to himself. Just like he's stepped in loads of times when I've been about to make a big mistake – like when I was seriously thinking of going to Dartmouth. He never told me what to do, but he's always made sure that I knew I had choices.

So I need to make sure that he knows that too. Gus will be fine at the loft with my Mom. He probably won't even wake up. But really, if he got sick or something, my Mom would be way better at knowing what to do than either Brian or me; and there's no way Mom would let any harm come to him. She told me when she called that she loves him already. She says that once I came out she stopped hoping that I'd ever give her a grandchild, and so Gus is like a little miracle, and she will always think of him that way.

I am so fucking lucky to have her. I wish I could find a way to tell her how much it means to me that she sees Gus as my son; that she sees Brian's son as my son. I mean, I'd known for ages that she'd gotten over the whole "that Brian" thing. But this … this tells me that she really accepts us as a couple; that she believes in us; believes in our future together. And that makes me feel so … relieved, I guess.

No one we know has that.

I mean, Mel and Lindsay certainly didn't. Lindsay's parents are cunts and Mel's aren't much better. Blake's family kind of gave up on him years ago he told me once; and also that Ted's Mom tries, but she doesn't really get it, even now; and if they go to see her, or she comes over, it's always really awkward. Or course, Emmett isn't with anyone right now, but from what he's told me, his folks would be more likely to join the mob baying for the faggots' blood than to actually welcome their son's partner into the family.

Deb supports Ben and Michael of course, but "future" is kind of a limited concept when your partner is positive. I try not to think about that, but it must be tough – for Deb as well as for Michael. Don't know about Ben's family; we never hear anything about them; I don't even know if he has a family.

So aside from Ben and Michael and Deb, where there are all these other uncertainties, what Brian and I have with my mother, the support that we get from her as we are building a future together, that's pretty much unique in our little group. It makes me feel so proud of my Mom. It wasn't easy for her – she had to turn her back on the nice comfortable life that she used to have and really step out into a world that's shown her its ugly side more than once.

But she's come out of it so damned strong and …

Well, I guess it's true that a gay boy's best friend is his mother. Well, one of his best friends. I need to let the other one know what the Hell is going on. If she comes over one night and finds we've moved and I didn't tell her she'll kill me.

Daph's only small, but she's scary when she gets going.

Ask Brian.

He said he had the bruises for days where she punched his arm when she was telling him about me running away to New York.

Anyway, while we're driving to the computer store where Brian wants to get Gus his kiddy laptop or whatever, I take the chance to give Daphne a call.

I've texted her a couple of times to keep her up on what's been happening, but it's all been happening so fast, it's hard for me to keep up, let alone fill her in on all the latest moves.

Anyway, she's totally stoked and she offers to come over to help us move. I give a sideways look at Brian. I know he doesn't want any of the gang to see the house until it's all finished, but Daph isn't one of "the gang"; she's my gang. Besides we might need back up keeping Gus out from under everyone's feet, so I tell her I'll call her in the morning (that way I can make sure she's awake – sometimes on Sunday she doesn't surface till half way through the afternoon). Then I put my cell away and wait for Brian's reaction.

 

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Brian

The little twat gives me that chin tilted into the air look that means he thinks I'm going to give him shit about inviting his little friend over.

But, fuck it! It's his house. If he wants everyone to come over and help us move, I could live with that; let alone young Daphne.

Besides, I haven't seen her in a while; she couldn't make it to my birthday because it clashed with a study group that she couldn't bail on because they had a project or some shit to hand in next day. And I like Daphne. She's a good friend to Justin, which is what counts most to me. And I guess, she's really been pretty much a good friend to me as well.

But right now we have a shit load of stuff to buy for Gus. Aside from the kiddy computer, he needs new trainers and some other clothes for school, plus exercise books and all that shit. We got a list when we were there on Friday. And I'm betting the little blond twat is going to want to get a whole heap of other stuff.

Then we need to get back to the loft and pack up everything we want to take with us.

That's mainly going to be clothes, at this stage. Well, and the computers.

And the entertainment system and all the DVDs and shit that we got for Gus.

We're not going to have a kitchen for a while, but I guess we'll still need glasses and plates and cutlery to eat with. Gus will anyway.

Maybe we should get Daphne to come over this afternoon. We can always promise her pizza and beer in exchange for her help. She's a college student, she's bound to go for it. I make the suggestion and am rewarded with one of the smiles that light up the whole fucking world. My world, anyway. On that thought I feel like I should check that I still have a cock; but then his free hand comes to rest on my thigh and squeezes and I feel my dick twitch so I guess I haven't turned into a lesbian yet.

He snaps shut the phone for the second time and says that his girlfriend is going to get some boxes for us. Seems like she stored all the ones she used when she moved into her place.

So now it's time for serious shopping.

Of course, my son who seems to have inherited his other father's appetite, remembers halfway through the afternoon that we'd promised him ice cream, so before we go home we have to make a stop to get some. They both buy cones and Justin also insists on buying a tub to have after the pizza.

Fuck! I have to find some time to get to the gym.

 

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Justin

I guess I was kind of surprised that Brian suggested inviting Daphne over to help, but I'm glad he did.

She doesn't help much with all the packing – well, I knew she wouldn't be any help with that. Daph's idea of packing and Brian's so don't go together.

But she keeps Gus occupied and amused.

We'd made a quick stop at the house to drop off all the things we bought this afternoon. I hardly recognized the place. It still reeks of paint, of course, it probably will for days, and I made a mental note to stock up on anti-histamines. But it looks so different. Just having a little color on the walls – even if they are mainly green-tinged, makes a huge difference to the front rooms downstairs; it gives the place more energy and makes it seem less stilted and formal. Brian's study looks awesome with the dark green feature wall. I can't wait to see his stuff in there, it's going to look totally Brian – very sleek and sophisticated and he can have it as minimalist as he likes.

The entertainment room - which used to be the dining room - looks so much bigger without that huge dark table in the middle. It looks brighter too, even though there are no external windows to this room because the table used to kind of absorb all the light. There are new light fixtures in here too and that helps. Nothing fancy, just a couple of down-lights that are on dimmer switches so we can control the light levels.

And the back room looks amazing. We didn't put any color on the walls here, because the windows supply all the color you could ever need and I wanted to keep the effect of the light coming through the colored glass and projecting those colors onto the walls when the sun is in the right place, but we had the painters refresh them with a nice soft ivory shade and the room looks … well, to quote Emmett (who is totally going to die when he sees it), it looks faaabulous. I can hardly wait until we get the furniture in here, and the rug that Brian bought for the other house.

We didn't go upstairs. I kind of wanted to, but they're still working up there and it's no place for Gus, so we just dumped the stuff we'd bought and got out of there.

We stopped and got ice cream on the way home and then, of course, I had to listen to Brian bitch and moan about us eating it in the car, but he's going to have to learn to live with that stuff. And it's not like we're in the Corvette. We got anti-histamines too. I even got some child-strength ones, because I don't want Gus' first days at his new school messed up by any kind of allergy problems.

My cell rang just as we were getting out of the car. It was Daph, who was already upstairs. We introduced her to Gus and they seemed to click right away so we left them watching the Wiggles while we did what we needed to do.

 

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Brian

I'm a genius.

Inviting Daphne over here proves it.

I wouldn't trust her to pack a lunch, let alone my Armani, but she keeps Gus from out of our hair while we get on with it.

Justin is all for starting in the kitchen – big surprise. But when I point out to him that we can do that stuff once Gus is in bed and asleep, as long as we're quiet, he sees sense and we get all the clothes we need for the next few days packed, and then have an early dinner.

After pizza and fucking ice cream – just a spoonful for Gus who does not need a sugar injection just before bed, Justin packs up what he wants from the kitchen – I tell him to leave the coffee machine till tomorrow - while I get Gus into the shower and ready for bed. Then the three of us sit down with him and take turns reading him stories. He gets one from each of us and is falling asleep on my shoulder by the time Justin finishes his, and we tuck him into bed.

By that time, Daphne needs to head out – she has a hot date tonight, but she's promised to be here by no later than eleven tomorrow. That will give us time to get all the electronic shit packed, and get everything over to the house and set up and still have Gus in bed at a decent time.

We head for the shower and then put on something hot enough to be seen in at Babylon, and I'm just dealing with what looks like a milk splash on my favorite Prada boots when the buzzer sounds. Jennifer's right on time.

 

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