Seeing Clearly

Chapter 8

It took a couple of days before Michael called.  Brian couldn’t help but wonder how hard Debbie had had to work to get Michael to cooperate.  Michael wanted to come to the loft to talk, but Brian felt that he wanted to meet somewhere that was more neutral, somewhere that would be less likely for Justin to walk in on them.  He had visions of Michael saying something stupid and hurting Justin’s feelings.  Brian had severe misgivings about this meeting with Michael.  If his best friend refused to accept that Justin was in Brian’s life, in it to stay, then he was kicking Michael the fuck out.  No matter how much that would hurt … both of them, that was what he intended to do.  There was no two ways about it.

They agreed to meet at the diner after Brian was finished work.  Brian hoped that a diner full of people would keep Michael from making a scene.  Michael was ensconced in the back booth when Brian walked in.  Debbie was behind the counter and gave Brian the high sign before bringing the coffeepot to their table.  She poured Brian a coffee while Michael sipped his Pepsi.  Debbie didn’t say anything, but she gave Michael a withering look before walking away.

Brian fixed his coffee and took a sip.  “You wanted to talk to me?” Brian asked.

“Is he still with you?” Michael asked crossing his arms on his chest.

“I told you that Justin and I are together … permanently.  If you don’t like it, Michael, then don’t bother contacting me again,” Brian stated firmly.

“How can you say that to me?  How can you choose him over me?”  Michael looked like he had just lost his best friend.  He didn’t realize that was about to happen, unless he said the right words.

“I don’t want to choose between you and Justin.  There’s no need for that to happen.  I want you as my friend, Michael, but not if you continue to bad mouth Justin and tell me I’m crazy for being with him.  I won’t put up with that anymore.”

“You …You really love him?”

“I believe I’ve told you that several times.  Nothing has changed.”

“You’ve changed,” Michael accused.

“And that seems to be your biggest problem.  I have changed, and I’m very happy about the changes.  I don’t intend to go back to the way things were.”

Michael studied his old friend.  He was beginning to realize that Brian would not give up this Justin Taylor.  It struck him that if he pushed this much farther, he’d be the one being kicked the fuck out.  “I just don’t get it, Brian,” Michael sighed.

“I know, and I’ll try to explain it to you … but only if you shut up and listen.  Are you listening?”

Michael thought about it for a moment.  After a minute he nodded. 

“I assume your mother told you about my stint in the hospital.”  Michael nodded.  “When I got mugged everything changed for me,” Brian began to explain.  “I saw my life for what it was – shallow and empty.  I want more out of life than that.  Justin helped me realize that.  He’s a wonderful man.  And I did say man; today is his eighteenth birthday.”

“Today?”

“Yes, I have to leave soon.  I’m taking him out for dinner to celebrate, and I have tickets for a concert.”

“I thought you didn’t do birthdays.”

“I do now.  That’s another thing that’s changed.”

Michael shook his head.  “Wish Justin happy birthday from me.”

“I will, if you really mean it.”  Brian studied his friend’s face looking for the truth.

“I do,” Michael finally said, and this time he was starting to mean it.

“Good, then I better go.”

“Brian, wait.  I just want to be sure you know what you’re doing.  He’s so young.”

“We’re working it out, Mikey.  That’s all we can do.”

“He doesn’t want you to take him to his prom or anything, does he?” Michael asked trying to be funny.

“Actually, we talked about it, but we haven’t made a decision.”

“We?  You make decisions together?”

“That’s what couples do, or so I’m told.  I really have to get going,” Brian said looking at his watch.

“Okay, have fun tonight.  And, Brian…”

“Yes?” Brian asked after he stood up.

Michael slid out of the booth.  “If you’re happy, I’m happy,” he said pulling Brian into a hug.

Brian kissed Michael gently on the lips.  “Thanks, Mikey.  I hope you and Justin can get to know each other.  He’s really great.”

Michael smiled wanly.  “I’d like that.”  He tried to mean those words too.  “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mikey.  Always have, always will, as long as you let me.”

Michael nodded and Brian turned to leave.  Before Brian reached the door he heard Debbie asking her son, “So, did you make nice?”

Brian couldn’t help but smile as he walked out of the diner.

*****

A few hours later Brian and Justin came out of the concert hall.  Justin slipped his hand into Brian’s as they walked down the street to the parking lot where they had left the Jeep.

“That was a great concert,” Justin enthused.  “Who knew Elton John put on such a terrific show!”

“You’re lucky he was the one playing here tonight,” Brian teased.  “We could have been seeing Menudo.”

“Who?” Justin asked.

“Kid band, extremely boring, no longer together.  Glad you liked Elton,” Brian said with a smile.  It pleased him greatly that Justin had enjoyed his birthday activities.  Brian had given a lot of thought to what he had planned for Justin’s special day.  He was happy he had made choices that Justin liked.  In the bad old days he probably would have got Justin a hustler or some other pornographic shit that Justin would have found … offensive, or at best questionable.  Brian cleared his throat filing those thoughts away, never to be revisited.  “That’s the first time I’ve seen Elton live.  He’s pretty damn good.”

“He’s written a lot of songs.”

“Yeah, some that I even remember,” Brian joked.

“A lot that I remember.”

Brian chuckled to himself.  It hadn’t really taken much effort to plan the night’s activities, just some thinking about what Justin might like, and yet everything had turned out just as he had hoped.  He had enjoyed Justin’s pleasure in what they had done, as much as Justin had enjoyed doing it.  Brian shoved Justin against the Jeep.  “So, how does it feel to be an old man of eighteen?”

“Wonderful … if every day could be like today…”

“I don’t think I can promise you that, but I will promise to try to make you happy.”

“What more could I ask for,” Justin said leaning against Brian.  “This has been the best day of my life – dinner and the concert … and you.”

“Even if it was ridiculously romantic?”

“Because it was ridiculously romantic.  I love you so much, Brian.”

Brian studied the radiant blue eyes before kissing Justin’s lips softly, lingeringly.  “I hope you’ll continue to feel that way.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Brian shook his head.  “Things change.  People change.  You’re going to grow up and experience a lot of things.  You may…”

“Brian, stop!  I am grown up.  I know what I want and he’s right here beside me.”

“You say that now…”

“You’re beginning to sound like Michael.  What has he been saying to you?”

Brian released Justin and indicated they should get into the car.  “I saw Michael after work today.  I made it perfectly clear that he’s not to say anything bad about you or our relationship … or he’s out on his ass in the best friend department.”  Brian started the car and headed towards the loft.

“You told him that?”  Brian nodded.  “Wow!  What did he say?”

“He said he’d try, and he fucking better.”

“Brian, am I turning your life upside down?  I don’t want to make things hard for you,” Justin said with a frown. 

“I’m always hard when I’m with you,” Brian teased suggestively.

“Don’t I know it,” Justin laughed.  “I like it that way.”

“That’s one of your finer qualities,” Brian said with a smile.

Justin turned to look at Brian.  His face sobered.  “Brian, I mean it.  I don’t want to come between you and your friends.  I don’t want to upset your life.”

“You’ve already upset my life,” Brian replied.  He glanced at Justin who looked shocked by his words.  He smiled at the young man.  “You’re helping me change my life to the way I want it to be.  Anything in my life that you’ve upset needed to be upset.  You shouldn’t feel that you’re doing anything wrong, Justin.  This is what I want.”

“It’s what I want too,” Justin said happily, relieved that Brian felt that way.

“Do you feel like going to Babylon?” Brian asked.

“Um, not really.  I thought we could just go home, but if you…”

“Home is fine.”

“Good.”

“I might even have a bottle of wine we could crack open, now that you’re old enough to drink.”

Justin laughed.  “That sounds like a great idea.”

They drove in companionable silence the short distance left to the loft.

Brian opened the loft door, allowing Justin to enter first.  The way the evening had gone Justin half expected there to be an orchestra playing and a magnificent gourmet late night snack laid out for them.  Their new personal butler would welcome them home.  Justin had to admit to himself that he was slightly disappointed when the loft appeared to be exactly how they’d left it a few hours earlier.

“I guess I should change,” Justin said.

“Get into something comfortable,” Brian advised.  “I’m going to get some water.  I’ll be up in a minute.”

Justin frowned slightly.  He had expected Brian to start ripping off his clothes as soon as they got home.  He smiled to himself at his use of the word home.  This did feel like home, especially after tonight.  He climbed the steps to the bedroom while Brian headed for the kitchen.

Justin pulled out some sweats and peeled off his sweater and trousers.  Brian made some clanking sounds but then joined him getting out of his clothes and finding some sweats of his own.

“Are you sure we need these clothes?” Justin asked with a mischievous grin.

“For now,” Brian said with a smile curling the corners of his pink lips.  “You know I enjoy helping you get naked.”

“But I was just naked a few seconds ago.  You can easily make me that way again.”  Justin walked towards Brian who was just finishing pulling on his sweats.  He wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him … hard.

“As tempting as your offer is, I have something I want to talk to you about.”

“Talk?” Justin asked.  The furrow above his eyes got very deep.  He had never liked that sentence.  At home when his parents said that, they usually had something bad to tell him, or he was in some kind of trouble.

“Yes, talk.  You know that thing where you move your lips and words come out.  I believe it’s also called communication.”

“There are other methods of communication,” Justin replied rubbing his burgeoning cock against Brian’s groin.

“Later,” Brian said firmly lifting Justin’s arms from around his neck.  “Come with me.”  He took Justin’s hand and led him down the steps to the sofa.

“What’s this?” Justin asked seeing an ice bucket with a bottle planted inside it.

“I told you we still had some celebrating to do.  It’s champagne.”  Brian studied Justin’s reaction.  He hoped this was the right thing to do.  Brian still had a lot to learn about romance.  This evening had gone so well.  He hoped he wasn’t ruining it now.

“Wow!  Champagne.”

Brian popped the cork and poured them each a glass.  “A toast,” Brian said, “to being 18 with your whole life ahead of you.”

Justin smiled and took a sip of the champagne.  The bubbles tickled his nose.  He wiped his nose after his drink.  “I’d like to make a toast too,” he said.  He stared into Brian’s eyes.  “To the most wonderful man who loves me and who I love in return.  You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

Brian looked mightily pleased with himself.  “I’m glad you enjoyed your birthday.  It’s almost over,” Brian said glancing at his watch.

Justin heaved a sigh.  “I don’t want it to ever end.”

“There is one more thing.”

“One more?” Justin asked intrigued at what else Brian might have planned.

“I haven’t given you your presents yet.”

“I thought dinner and the concert were my present.”

“Only part of it.”

“What else?” Justin asked his face aglow with excitement.

Brian chuckled.  “Maybe Michael’s right.  You look about twelve years old at the moment.”

“Stop it, and tell me what you got me,” Justin commanded.  He’d let the age crack go, since he seemed to be getting something else from Brian.  Being teased about his age was a small price to pay, and he had to admit, he felt about twelve, as he waited expectantly for Brian to answer.

“Well, there’s this,” Brian replied handing Justin an envelope. 

“What is it?” Justin asked in surprise.  He had expected maybe a bracelet or a neck chain or maybe even a ring.

“Open it and see.”

Justin ripped the end of the envelope.  He gasped.  “Airline tickets!” he almost shouted.  “Where to?”

“Paris, for after graduation.  And only if you do well at St. James.”

“Brian,” Justin managed to choke out.  “This is too much.  Are you sure?”

“There’s lots of art in Paris, I’m told.  I thought that would be a good place to improve your culture.”

“There’s two tickets.  You’re coming with me, right?” Justin asked.

“If you want me to.”

“Of course I do!”  Justin flung himself into Brian’s arms and kissed him all over his face.  “I thought I’d had the best birthday possible, but this is even better.”

Brian chuckled as he gently shoved Justin back.  “I have one more thing for you.”

“Oh my God!  More?”

“Yes, one more.”  Brian handed him a small box that could be jewelry.

Eagerly Justin ripped the wrapping away.  He could tell this wasn’t a ring box, but jewelry of any kind, from Brian, would be great.  He lifted the lid and pulled out a cowry shell bracelet.

“It matches mine,” Brian said holding out his wrist for Justin to see that the bracelets were the same.  “I thought this could be a symbol of our … commitment.”

“You are the sweetest man in the whole wide world,” Justin said as he ran his fingers over the shells of the bracelet.

“Here, let me tie it for you.”  Brian carefully placed the bracelet around Justin’s wrist and tied it on.

“Together … forever,” Justin whispered.

“Let’s not promise forever,” Brian cautioned.  “Let’s just say that we’re together from today forward.  We’ll see where that takes us.”

“Paris,” Justin said with a wide smile.

“Yes, Paris … if you complete your studies, young man.”

“Oh, I will.  I can hardly wait for St. James to be over with.  Then I can go to PIFA.”

“And Paris,” Brian chuckled.  “Michael asked me if I was taking you to your prom.”

“Wh…What did you tell him?” Justin asked.  He could just hear Michael’s snide remark.  He wondered what Brian would have said.

“I told him we’d discussed it, but we hadn’t made a decision.”

Justin’s face shone with a radiant smile.  That was the best possible answer Brian could have given.  “You know … I think we should skip the prom.  It’s so juvenile.  Money we’d spend on going there would be much better spent in Paris.”

“My sentiments exactly,” Brian agreed.

“Then take me to bed and make mad passionate love to me until my birthday’s over.”

“That was about four minutes ago,” Brian said looking at his watch once again.  “I guess you’re out of luck.”

“You!!!!” Justin gasped in mock anger, as he made a grab for Brian.

Brian darted to the side and then ran up the steps to the bedroom where he conveniently let himself be caught.

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