Seeing Clearly

Chapter 3

Justin pulled back the loft door.  “Are you ready?” he called to Brian.

“I’m coming.”

“Thanks for dropping me off at school.”

“You’re just lucky I can see to drive,” Brian snarked.

“I got to drive and use your Jeep whenever I wanted while you were blind,” Justin gloated.

“What do you mean … whenever you wanted?”

“You’d give me the keys, and then I could do whatever I wanted.”

“You little…” Brian snarled, but Justin darted down the stairs while Brian locked up the loft.

When Brian caught up to him at the Jeep, the grin on Justin’s face was so adorable that Brian had to kiss him, forgetting all about being angry with him.

“You’re a very bad boy,” Brian whispered as he released Justin’s lips but still held the young man in his arms.

Justin smiled happily.  “Just the way you like me.”

“I like you every which way.”

“I know.”

“Pretty smug, aren’t you?” Brian asked, but he couldn’t help but smile at Justin’s infectious enthusiasm.

“Yep.”

“Let’s get going or we’re both going to be late.”

They were soon approaching St. James.

“I’m so glad I only have a few more weeks to spend here,” Justin said with a sigh as Brian pulled the Jeep to a stop in front of the school.

“You’re supposed to enjoy your high school years,” Brian advised.

“Did you?”

Brian shook his head.  “Get out!  I’m late.”

“See you after work,” Justin said happily as he hopped out of the Jeep.

As Brian drove off, he heard some boys taunting Justin with:  “Hey Taylor, who’s your boyfriend?” and “Taylor, you big faggot!”

Brian looked in the rearview mirror to make sure that Justin got safely into the school.  He realized he had been prepared to turn around and beat the fucking crap out of those kids if they dared to touch his Justin.  With a goofy smile on his face Brian thought about “his Justin” all the way to Vangard.

*****

“Brian, Debbie’s on the phone,” Cynthia informed Brian.

“And so it begins,” Brian muttered as he lifted the receiver to take the phone call.  “Hello, Deb, what can I do for you?”

“You can tell me what the fuck’s going on with you?”

“Why nothing out of the ordinary,” Brian said smugly.

“Asshole, Michael says you admitted to fucking some underage kid, and I don’t believe that I’m going to say these words, but Michael says you’re in a relationship with him.”

“That would be correct.”

“Correct?  Brian, what the hell’s going on?  Are you sick?”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Brian muttered.

“Well, I want to know more than half of it.  I want to know it all.”

“When I’m ready,” Brian stated leaving no doubt that he meant those words.

“Brian, you know you can talk to me.”

“I know, Deb, and I … appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years.  I’ll tell you all about Justin when I’m ready.”  With those words Brian cut the connection.  He could imagine Debbie sputtering at the other end.

*****

“What are you doing?” Justin asked as he stepped into the loft.  He dropped his schoolbooks on the counter and walked over to Brian who was leaning over the computer desk.

“Listening to my messages.”

“Oh, anything interesting?”

Brian hesitated for a minute.  “You don’t want to know,” Brian finally said.

“Yeah, I do.  It sounds important.”

“Okay, you asked for it,” Brian warned as he pushed the replay button.

Brian, what the fuck is going on?  I’ve called at least ten times, and you’re not returning my calls.  “Michael,” Brian said.

Brian Kinney, how dare you hang up on me?  I want answers.  “Michael’s mother, Debbie.”

Brian, are you trying to be more of an asshole than usual?  Michael is very upset.  Call him.  “Emmett.”

Emmett told me to call you and yell at you.  I don’t know what you’ve done this time, but you’re in big trouble.  “Ted.”

Brian, you need to call me.  I haven’t heard from you in weeks.  Are you okay? You should come by and see your son.   “Lindsay.”

Brian erased each message as they listened to it.  “There were lots more, but…”

“Wait!  Son!  She said son.  You have a son?”  Justin thought he must have misheard, until Brian simply nodded his head.  “You have a son, and you didn’t tell me?”

“It never came up.”

“But…a son.  How could you not mention that?” Justin asked in disbelief.

“I had other things to deal with, Justin.  If you remember, I was blind.”

“I know but…”

“It’s not like I’m really Gus’ father.”

“Gus, is that his name?  Can I meet him?  I used to have a teddy bear called Gus.”

“Justin, did you hear what I said?  I’m not a real father … more like a sperm donor,” Brian admitted, even though he thought he was more than that to Gus.  He hoped deep inside that he could be more than a sperm donor to his son.  He wasn’t sure when that hope had developed, but he knew it was true.  He knew he wanted to mean something to his son, wanted to be part of Gus’ life, but he had promised…

“Brian, I know you’d never turn your back on your son,” Justin declared.

“How can you know any such thing?” Brian demanded, even though he was rather pleased that Justin thought that about him.

“I know the kind of man you are.  I love you.  I know you want to be with your son.”

Brian stared into the clear blue eyes.  He knew Justin stated the truth.  Ever since Gus’ birth, he had longed to hold the baby and make sure that he was going to grow up to be so much better than his fucking father.  But Brian had always refused to let those feelings come to the fore.  He had buried them with so many other feelings that were not expected of him, so many feelings that seemed to be leaping to the forefront these days.  Now that he was changing his life by being with Justin, maybe it was time to let some of those other feelings be actualized.  Maybe it was really time for him to become a father, a man in a … relationship and so many other things that he never thought he could be.  And if his so-called friends didn’t like what he was becoming, then maybe it was time for some new friends.

“I’ll call Lindsay tomorrow and see if we can visit Gus,” Brian said gently.

“You said ‘we’.  Do you mean I can come with you?” Justin asked as a glowing smile started to spread across his face.

“That’s usually what ‘we’ means.”

“I love you, Brian Kinney.”

“And I love you, Justin Taylor.”

The ensuing kiss was warm turning to hot turning to blistering when the phone decided to ring once again.

“What?” Brian snapped as he released Justin and grabbed the phone.  “No, you can’t come up.  I said no.”  Brian smacked the phone down onto the desk.

“Who was that?” Justin asked.

“Guess.”

“Michael.”

“Right on the first try.”

“What did he want?”

“He’s at the front door.  He wants to come up.”

“And you’re not going to let him?”

“No.”

“Brian, are you ashamed for me to meet your friends?”

“No, Jesus, why would you think that?” Brian asked with a deep frown creasing his forehead.

“You’ve kept me away from your friends ever since we met,” Justin said.

“But … there are reasons for that.”

“What?  Other than you’re ashamed of me?  Am I just some kid that isn’t worthy of meeting your friends?  Do you think they’ll make fun of you for being with me?  I know I’m not worldly … or anything.  But I thought you were okay with that.”  Justin’s face revealed all the sadness and disillusionment that he felt.

“You’ve got it all wrong,” Brian replied.

“Have I?  It doesn’t seem like I have.”

“Justin…”

“What?”

“If you want me to bring Michael up here, I will.  I’ll call him back.”

Justin shook his head.  “I…I don’t know what I want.  I don’t know what to believe.”

“Yes you do.  You know that I love you.”

“You mean it?”

Brian walked towards Justin grabbing the boy by the arms.  “I’ve never told anyone that I loved them like I love you.  If you don’t believe anything else, believe that.  Do you believe me?”

Justin nodded.  “I love you too, it’s just that…”

“I’ll introduce you to my fucking friends if that’s what you want.  But…”

“But what?”

“Don’t believe everything they tell you about me.”  Brian pulled Justin against his body and held on.

“Is that what you’re afraid of – that they’ll tell me something that I won’t like?”

“There are things about me that you don’t know.”

“Like that you have a son?” Justin couldn’t help but ask.  He felt Brian shudder slightly.

“There are lots of not so nice things about me,” Brian whispered.

“I haven’t seen any of them.”

“I know, but they’re there.”

“Then we’ll deal with them.”

“How did you get to be so smart and so brave?” Brian asked, gently pushing Justin away so he could look into those beautiful eyes.

“I think I started getting smart the day I met you in the hospital.”

Brian laughed out loud, a sound that Justin was learning to love.  “You must have been very dumb before that day - to let them send you to me.”

“I prefer to believe that it was karma that I arrived in your hospital room.  I’ll always be grateful that it was you they sent me to.”

“Karma is it?” Brian chuckled.  “You are a smart little fucker.”

“Not so little,” Justin corrected him.

“No, not little at all,” Brian agreed before his lips crushed against Justin’s. 

Clothes started to fly around the loft as they tore at each other’s garments, needing to be naked and joined.  Brian walked Justin backwards up the steps, his lips never leaving Justin’s.  By the time the back of Justin’s legs hit the edge of the bed they were both naked and fully aroused.  Brian tumbled them onto the bed holding himself above Justin, staring into the blue eyes below him.

“I want you,” Justin whimpered.

Brian reached for a condom.  “Put it on me.”

Justin did as directed.  Then Brian lowered his body closer to Justin’s directing his engorged member into the hot tight channel that was Justin Taylor.  There was no other feeling like this one when they came together.  Brian had never felt with anyone else what Justin Taylor caused him to feel.  It was like the very essence of Justin could be captured in their coupling.  Brian drove home feeling Justin stop breathing as the initial shock of Brian’s rapid entry took his breath away.

After a minute Brian felt Justin start to relax and open himself to Brian.  “I love you,” Justin whispered.  “I don’t care what your friends tell me.  It won’t change how I feel about you.”

Brian paused for a moment to smile before he captured Justin’s lips one more time.  Then the wild ride began, eliciting moans and groans and grunts and shouts.  Such was the intensity of their mating that Brian thought he might go up in flames before he was finished.

As sweat dripped from his jaw onto Justin’s chest Brian felt his balls draw up.  He wouldn’t be able to prolong this wonderful moment much longer.

“Close,” he gasped as he drove into the warm accommodating body again and again.

Justin merely smiled as his own orgasm nearly blew the top of his head off.

Brian wasn’t far behind him and they collapsed senseless on the bed.  Neither able to move, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

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