Pink Pain

Author's Notes:  This takes place somewhere around 404 but before the incident with Chris Hobbs.  I always thought the Pink Posse episodes never really dealt with the implications of what Cody and Justin were doing, so this does. This was written for qaf_challenges on LJ. Thanks to Arwensong and Sabina for the great betas.

*****

"What the fuck! Shit! I'll be right there."

Brian slammed the phone down on the nightstand. He pulled on a pair of jeans along with a T-shirt. He grabbed his leather jacket which hung by the loft door. Picking up his keys and wallet from the counter, he quickly set the alarm and locked the loft door.

"What the fuck have you done, Justin?" he asked the stairwell as he ran down to his car.

"Justin Taylor?" Brian said to the person at reception in the emergency area of the hospital.

"One moment, please," the woman replied as she leisurely scrolled through her fucking computer. Brian felt his blood pressure double. "Your name?" she asked. Brian responded. "Are you family?" she then asked.

Brian's blood pressure skyrocketed. He knew what was coming next. "Someone in this fucking institution called me to say that my partner, Justin Taylor, was here in emergency. I came immediately. I want to see him … NOW!"

"There's no need to shout," the woman said snottily. "I'll have an orderly come out and show you the way. Wait over there," she said dismissively.

Brian censored the twelve hundred expletives that coursed through his brain and went to stand where she directed him. He would give the bitch three minutes … and then that fucking orderly better appear.

Just as the three minutes were about to expire, an orderly called Brian's name. Brian followed him back to the examining rooms.

"The doctor will be in to speak with you in a few minutes," the man said and then disappeared to continue whatever other duties he had been assigned.

Brian pulled the curtain back and looked into scared blue eyes.

"Brian," Justin whispered as tears started to form.

"What the fuck happened?" Brian asked as he moved over to the gurney and gently touched a red patch on Justin's cheek.

Justin flinched and drew away. "We were in a fight," he whispered.

"We! We who?!" Brian demanded.

"Cody."

"Fucking goddamn Cody! What happened?"

"This guy … we thought he was alone, but…" Justin stopped unable to continue as his chest heaved and he groaned in pain.

"All right, don't talk if it hurts," Brian said taking Justin's hand. He wanted to pull the young man into a hug and tell him that everything would be all right, but he didn't know how bad Justin's injuries might be and he sure as fuck didn't know that everything was going to be all right.

"You must be Mr. Taylor's partner," a voice said from behind him.

Brian turned to look into the eyes of a young woman wearing a white lab coat. "Are you the doctor?" Brian asked.

"Yes, I am. Mr. Taylor's been asking for you."

"Is he all right? Is there anything seriously wrong?"

"It looks like he has a couple of cracked ribs, multiple contusions, and he's going to look pretty awful over the next few days, but basically I'd say he got off lucky."

"My head?" Justin asked her.

"Your head?" Brian repeated turning an unbecoming shade of white as he looked at Justin searchingly. "Did you hurt your head?"

"He may have passed out for a minute or two," the doctor said. "We're not sure. He was conscious when they brought him in. There's no sign of swelling or concussion, however."

Brian let out a sigh of relief. "Do you know about his … history?" Brian asked shakily. He so hated to even think about what had happened in that parking garage.

The doctor nodded. "Justin was able to tell us about his previous head trauma."

"Can I go home?" Justin asked in a little boy voice.

"We just want to check the X-ray we took to make sure those ribs aren't out of alignment and are not about to puncture a lung. If they aren't, you can go home," the doctor explained.

"Good," Justin said with relief. "I want to get out of here." He hated hospitals.

"Nobody seems to like our five star service," the doctor tried to joke. "I'll check on those X-rays." She left the cubicle.

"So what the hell happened?" Brian demanded. He was kicking himself for not stopping Justin from his exploits with the Pink Posse.

"Can we talk about this later?"

Brian sighed. "Yeah, but don't think I'm going to forget."

'I should be so lucky,' Justin thought to himself. "Help me up?" he asked Brian.

Brian took Justin's wrist, but any tugging on it elicited moans of pain from the lad. "Let's try this," Brian said. He slid his arm under Justin and started to raise the boy as gently as he could.

Justin groaned and clenched his teeth against the pain. After a minute he was upright. His forehead was beaded with sweat and he had gone very pale.

"Are you sure you should be going home? You look … awful."

"Just the pep talk I needed," Justin said through gritted teeth. The pain was starting to subside a little now that he was sitting up.

The doctor came back into the cubicle. "X-rays look fine. I wrote you a prescription for painkillers. I see you're somewhat vertical," she added noting that Justin was sitting up. "That's good."

"I just about fucking killed him getting him to a sitting position," Brian said, worry clearly etched on his face. "I'm not sure he should be going home."

The doctor smiled gently. "It's going to hurt like hell whenever he moves," she said. "That will last a few days. Best thing you can do is make any movement as smooth and fluid as possible. It's going to hurt regardless, and if he moves slowly, it just hurts that much longer."

"So I should yank him to his feet?" Brian asked in disbelief.

"Of course not," she said patiently. "Be as gentle as you can, but do any movements as quickly as possible." Brian nodded.

"The painkillers?" Brian asked moving on to the next concern. "He's allergic to almost everything."

"I know. Mr. Taylor told me. These should be safe." She handed the script to Brian. "You can fill that at the pharmacy next door. Good luck, Mr. Taylor. The orderly will be in with a wheelchair and you can go home now." She left the room before either of them could say anything.

"What the fuck! That's it! Here's your hat, there's the door." Brian ran his hand through his hair.

"I want to go home, Brian. It's all right."

"It's not fucking all right. None of this is all right!"

Justin sighed. "Help me to stand up."

"Wait for the fucking orderly!"

"Your bedside manner could use some improvement," Justin said trying to slide off the gurney without creating more waves of pain.

"Stay put, for fuck's sake. You'll have to get up when the orderly comes."

Justin stopped his movements and sat still. He was breathing heavily at even that minor exertion, and breathing of any kind hurt like hell. He wondered how he was ever going to look after himself over the next few days until he was supposed to start feeling better. He prayed the doctor knew what she was talking about. He didn't think he could stand too many days of this kind of pain.

"Did you report this to the police?" Brian asked after a minute.

"Um … no."

"Well, whoever did this needs to be properly punished," Brian stated.

"Yeah, like they punished Hobbs," Justin said bitterly. "I don't want anything to do with the police."

Brian nodded. He could understand that. He wasn't exactly a big fan of the police himself. He still wondered, however, if there was more to the lack of police involvement than Justin was telling him.

Brian decided to remain silent. He would get his answers later. After a couple of minutes the orderly arrived with the wheelchair. Brian and the man helped Justin into the chair doing their best to cause him as little pain as possible. Brian went out to the parking lot to get the Corvette while the orderly wheeled Justin to the door.

When Brian pulled up at the entrance to emergency, the orderly pushed Justin outside. The man looked at the low slung car skeptically. "You're going to find it painful to get into that thing, and even harder to get out," he informed Justin.

"Thanks, just what I wanted to hear," Justin said as he took as deep a breath as he could manage and let them help him up out of the chair. He practically fell into the Corvette, cursing Brian's toy for the pain it caused him.

"Take care," the orderly said as he and the wheelchair headed back into the hospital.

"Yeah, like I'll be doing anything else," Justin snarked as Brian got behind the wheel.

It was on the tip of Brian's tongue to tell the little twat that he had no one to blame for his present condition except himself. But he bit that back and pulled out of the hospital grounds and down the street to the pharmacy that the doctor had recommended.

"I'll get this," Brian said noting the ashen color of Justin's face.

"Thanks," Justin whispered as he laid his head back and closed his eyes.

Brian left the Corvette running and the heater on. He ran into the store and returned in ten minutes with the prescription.

"Want one now?" Brian asked uncorking the pills. Justin nodded as Brian handed him one. "Wait," Brian said. "I got you a bottle of water." Brian twisted the top off and handed the water to Justin.

Justin popped the pill in his mouth and took a drink of water. "Thanks," he said closing his eyes once again.

Brian decided the best thing he could do was get Justin back to the loft and into bed. Hopefully the pain pill would make the transition from the Corvette to the loft more bearable for the young man.

Outside the loft Brian brought the Corvette to a halt. "Ready?" he asked as he climbed out. Justin nodded and gritted his teeth. Brian opened the passenger door. "Can you swing both feet out?" Brian asked and Justin managed to comply. "Okay, this is going to hurt," Brian told him. He got his arms under Justin's and, as quickly and smoothly as he could, he raised Justin to stand on his feet. "Still with me?" Brian asked. A white and shaken Justin nodded. "Okay, then put one foot in front of the other. I've got you."

With great effort Justin complied. Brian got him inside and pushed the button for the elevator.

"Can you lean against the wall and wait here while I park the 'Vette?"

"What other choice do I have?" Justin whispered.

"Good boy," Brian said before running back outside. He took the first parking space he saw rather than going to the back of the building where he would normally park. He was back inside with his lover almost before the elevator arrived. He steered Justin into the elevator and they were soon in the loft.

"Could you turn the heat up?" Justin asked. "I'm so cold."

Brian complied before taking Justin's jacket off. "I think you should get into bed."

"It hurts to lie down."

"We'll prop you up with pillows," Brian assured him.

Justin nodded and Brian steered him towards the bedroom. With an inordinate amount of moans and groans, Brian was able to undress his lover and ease him back against the stacked up pillows. Justin let out a long breath and closed his eyes. Brian started to move away.

"Stay with me," Justin whispered.

"Okay, until you fall asleep."

Justin made an attempt to smile. Brian sat on the bed and slid over so that his shoulder was touching Justin's arm.

"Feel better?" Brian asked.

"Immensely," Justin sighed. Obviously the pill was taking effect.

Soon Brian could tell by Justin's even breathing that he was asleep. Brian leaned over and looked at the red mark on Justin's face. It was already starting to turn blue, or maybe black. It was going to be ugly whatever color it decided to be. That was only one area that had been damaged. Brian gently kissed the mark. Justin hummed a little in his sleep at Brian's gentle touch. Brian smiled and pulled back the duvet. He had discovered the bruises that were already forming on Justin's torso when he had undressed his boyfriend. It was patently clear that someone had used their boots on the kid. Brian leaned down and kissed the damaged areas, his lips barely touching the discolored skin in a whisper of a kiss.

"Stupid little twat," Brian muttered to himself as he covered Justin up and tucked the duvet under his chin. "You could have been killed. And what happened to that fucking Cody? With any luck at all they killed the little prick."

*****

Brian awoke to the sound of whimpering. He opened his eyes to see Justin trying to sit up. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"I … I have to pee. I'm sorry I woke you," Justin said weakly.

"It's okay. Stay put," Brian said as he got up from the bed and made his way around to Justin's side. "Put your feet on the floor," he ordered. When Justin complied he got hold of the boy under the arms and on the count of three hauled him quickly to his feet. He felt Justin sway and held him till he seemed to steady himself. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah," Justin said breathily.

Brian walked behind Justin as he slowly made his way to the toilet. Brian leaned on the door frame and watched as Justin started to pee. He knew that too much help would only anger the independent young man, but he couldn't resist saying, "Need me to hold it for you?"

"No," Justin said trying not to laugh but a little chuckle escaped. "Fuck, don't make me laugh. It hurts like…"

"A motherfucker!" Brian supplied.

"Yeah." Justin flushed the toilet and then turned to walk back to the bedroom.

"Wash your hands like a good boy," Brian instructed.

"What are you, my mother?" Justin asked as he stuck his hands under the water.

"For the next few days, I am."

"Brian, you don't have to…"

"I'm looking after you," Brian stated flatly. "Unless you want me to call your mother right now? I imagine she could inflict a level of guilt and pain that would go way beyond anything I could dish out."

"No, no, that's okay," Justin said hastily. "But what about your work?"

"I'll manage. A lot of people work from home these days."

"But you're just starting your company and … I don't want to be a burden."

"Shut up," Brian said quickly. "Let's get you back to bed. I think you can have another pain pill too … if you're a really good boy."

"When you say that, I usually have to perform some really kinky sex act to prove how good I am. I don't think I'm up to that," Justin breathed heavily as Brian lowered him back onto the bed.

"Shit!" Brian said making a face. "I forgot that you won't be able to have sex for a couple of days."

"At least a couple," Justin replied with a grimace and then got a worried look on his face. "I'll understand if you want to hit the back rooms or the baths."

"Most likely won't have time," Brian said absently. "Looking after you will be a fulltime job." Justin couldn't wipe the grin off his face as Brian handed him his pain pill and some water. "What the fuck are you grinning about?" Brian demanded as the import of his own statement struck him.

"Um … nothing, nothing at all."

"Then go to sleep."

Justin fell asleep after a few minutes, still wearing a smile on his face.

*****

The smell of coffee and bacon awoke Justin. He raised his head and looked around. The bed beside him was empty.

"Brian?" he called.

"Stay put. I'll bring you breakfast in a minute."

Justin grinned like a fool. Brian was making him breakfast. Brian soon appeared at the bottom of the steps carrying a tray. It smelled wonderful, and Justin realized he was starved. He shifted to try to sit up farther. He grimaced in pain, letting out a sharp cry.

"Sit still, little twat," Brian said, but there was no anger in his voice.

Justin stopped struggling. Brian set down the tray and grabbed the pillows from his side of the bed. He positioned them behind Justin so he was more upright. He was as gentle as he could be. When Justin was sitting up, Brian placed the tray across his legs.

"Now, don't spill anything on my duvet, and when do you think you might be ready to fuck?"

Justin tried not to laugh but he couldn't help himself. "Shit, Brian! I told you not to make me laugh." Brian shrugged and gave that little grin that was so attractive. Justin actually felt his dick respond. "It's nice to know you have your priorities straight."

"Eat your breakfast," Brian pronounced.

"Who do you think you're feeding anyway?" Justin asked surveying the mound of scrambled eggs and the eight slices of bacon, two pieces of toast and large glass of juice.

"You! Wouldn't want that ass of yours to deflate while it's inactive."

"Stop!" Justin chuckled trying unsuccessfully not to laugh.

"I'll leave you to breakfast. I need to call Cynthia," Brian said looking at the clock. "Take your pill with your food."

"Yes, mother."

Brian stuck his tongue out at his naughty partner and headed for the phone. Justin luxuriated in the warm food and care that Brian was showering on him. He cleaned everything off the plate and drank the juice, taking his pill with it. He could hear Brian talking quietly on the phone. He wanted to get rid of the tray but he was afraid to turn or bend over to set it on the floor. He was about to call for Brian when he realized that he needed to do some things for himself even if it hurt. He carefully lifted the tray and turned just enough to set the tray on the nightstand. With a groan he leaned back against the pillows and waited for the painkiller to kick in. At least he had managed that much.

The next few days were spent in much the same way with Brian being the caregiver and Justin sleeping a lot. Brian made breakfast every morning and then went to work on the computer or on the phone. Justin slept a lot.

On the fourth day Justin began to wonder why no one had come to visit him. Brian had helped him get up and have a shower. They had kissed and Justin had jerked Brian off in the shower, but that was all Justin was up to. Even though he could feel himself getting stronger every day, he still wasn't able to do much of anything. He was now dressed in sweats and sitting on the sofa while Brian worked. He had his sketchbook beside him but he didn't feel like using it. If he stayed still he could almost pretend that there was no pain.

"Brian," he finally said.

"Yeah."

"Why hasn't anybody come to see me, not even my mother?"

"They don't know anything happened to you."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. I didn't tell anyone."

Justin took a minute to process that information. He had enjoyed his time alone with Brian, but he might have liked a bit of commiseration from some of his other friends. "What about Daphne?" Justin asked.

"I told her you were staying here for the rest of the week."

"Oh."

"Are you disappointed that no one's here to fawn all over you and make you soup and tell you what a fucking ass you were for being out there in the first place?"

"What?" Justin asked, stunned at Brian's vehemence.

"I tried to warn you that the fucking Pink Posse could get you killed but you refused to listen. That's your prerogative, but if you want fucking sympathy, then call your friends and family yourself."

Justin gulped wondering how much Brian had been holding back all this time. He knew that Brian didn't like the whole idea of the Pink Posse especially when Cody started searching out homophobes. Brian had made some derogatory comments about their activities and then had grown progressively quieter. Justin realized he had been too self-righteous to pay much attention. He could sense Brian's disapproval but at that point he hadn't cared. Obviously Brian was harboring some hate of his own. "I'm sorry, Brian," Justin said after a minute.

"What do you mean, you're sorry? Sorry's bullshit! You did exactly what you wanted to do. There's no point in being sorry."

"I didn't know you were so upset about it."

"I … As long as you realize that you could have been fucking killed … and for what?"

"I thought I was doing something worthwhile, something that would make a difference on Liberty Avenue."

"And maybe it would have, if fucking Cody hadn't decided to branch out beyond Liberty."

"Cody didn't…"

"Don't you fucking defend Cody to me," Brian spat out, cutting Justin off.

"I wasn't going to defend him. I had some serious questions about what he was doing," Justin said softly.

"But you went along with it. Why didn't you just quit?"

"I couldn't." Brian stared at Justin. "I didn't want to be a pussy. I wanted to be in control."

"And look where that got you!"

Justin dropped his eyes to the floor. He realized that Brian was right. The only thing he had accomplished was punching some guy who didn't expect it, and then getting the shit kicked out of himself. It could have been a lot worse. The man he punched might have pressed charges, or Justin could be … dead.

"Speaking of your little friend Cody, where the fuck was he while you were getting your ribs kicked in?"

Justin shrugged. "They punched him too, but I think he ran away."

"And left you to suffer the consequences of his actions. Some friend … no, I take that back, some fucking vigilante! If anyone's a pussy, it's him!"

"Could we not talk about this? I think I need to lie down," Justin said weakly.

Brian was beside him in an instant. He helped Justin up, although the boy was getting better at doing things for himself. Soon Justin was sleeping and Brian tried to get back to work. All he could think about was that shithead Cody running away and leaving Justin to a gang of homophobic pricks.

*****

Justin continued to progress on the road to recovery. By the beginning of the second week, Brian was going into Kinnetik for part of the day. He still fielded all calls to the loft when he was there, and had instructed Justin to let the machine pick up when he wasn't. Nobody really knew what was going on with Brian and Justin. All they had been told was that Brian and Justin wanted some time alone, and the tone of Brian's voice told them they better respect that.

Brian continued to look after Justin like they were a true couple. Justin couldn't believe this side of Brian. He always suspected that it was there, but to have Brian actually show it to him was almost more than he had ever dreamed of. Brian cooked and ordered in, helped Justin dress and shower, provided him with anything he needed, took him to see the doctor and still managed to get his own work done for Kinnetik.

Gradually Justin could do more and more for himself. The doctor told him to do what he could as long as he didn't strain his upper body. He could almost look after himself by the middle of the second week. The bruises were even starting to fade. Brian was going into work every day and Justin had ventured out for a couple of walks. He would soon be back to normal.

Justin wondered if Brian was getting sex in the back rooms. It would be tricky since he came home from work early and never left the loft until the next morning. Justin couldn't believe Brian was doing all this for him. He was happy to jerk Brian off and even managed a few blowjobs for Brian. The doctor had said that they could fuck when Justin felt the movement wouldn't be too painful for him. Justin could hardly wait, and he hoped Brian felt the same.

*****

Justin woke to the smell of one of Brian's delicious breakfasts. He felt good, almost back to normal. He got up off the bed without too much trouble and went to the bathroom all by himself. He had been cutting back on the pain pills and he almost felt like his old self. He ate his breakfast at the counter and could get up and down from the bar stool without any help.

"Feel like getting lucky when I finish this?" Justin asked with a grin.

"I'm always lucky," Brian smirked as he drank his coffee.

"You know what I mean."

"Maybe later, I have an errand to run."

"Oh, what errand?"

"Something that needs to be done."

"Brian, I really appreciate everything you've done for me since … you know. I don't know how I would have got through it without you."

"You would have. You're strong," Brian said leaning in and kissing Justin's lips. "Mmm, bacon."

"Stop," Justin laughed out loud, and it didn't hurt hardly at all.

Brian stole a piece of bacon off Justin's plate and chewed on it while studying his boyfriend. "So what are you going to do, now that you're almost healed?"

"Do?"

Brian held his hands out in supplication. "With the rest of your fucking life!"

"You mean like a job?"

"Or school."

Justin made a face. "I don't know," he said slowly.

"As long as you're not out on the streets with the goddamn Pink Posse! Surely there's something more worthwhile that you could be doing."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Think about it. Maybe you'll have a better idea when I get back from my errand." Brian stood up and started to collect the plates.

"I'll put those in the dishwasher," Justin volunteered. "It's the least I can do after all you've done for me."

Brian looked into Justin's eyes. "I care," was all he said before he headed out the door.

Justin watched him close the loft door. He slid down from the stool and went around the counter. He was going to give Brian the best fuck of his life when he came back. It didn't matter how much it hurt, he could do it and he would. He started sifting through his life options as he loaded the dishwasher.

*****

Brian pulled the Corvette into a parking space outside the book store. He climbed out and walked slowly to the door of the store. He wished he had a clearer idea of what he was going to do, but he didn't. He just knew he had to do something.

He opened the door of the bookstore and stepped inside. Daphne had told him that this was where Cody worked. It was the easiest way to find the little fucker. He wasn't about to wait outside some apartment for the kid to show up. And Brian was slightly afraid that if he found Cody all alone, he might kill the fucking son of a bitch.

Brian glanced around the store until a shaved head caught his attention. That had to be the object of his search.

"Maybe you can help me," Brian said with a slight smile as he walked over to Cody.

Cody looked at the handsome man standing in front of him. "I'd be happy to," Cody said in his sexiest and most ingratiating voice.

"I'm looking for a book on invertebrates."

"Invertebrates?" Cody asked wondering why a man who looked and dressed like this one would be interested in such things.

"Yeah, you know, creatures without backbones."

Cody frowned. Something didn't sound quite right all of a sudden. "Yes sir, I know what invertebrates are. Those books would be in the science section over there," he said pointing across the store. "Would you like me to show you?"

"That won't be necessary, since I'm looking at one, you spineless piece of shit!" Brian said using his patented death glare.

"Huh?"

"And so swift," Brian snorted. "You're pretty swift at running away too, so I hear."

"Wh…what are you talking about?" Cody felt the first shivers of fear creep up his back.

"I'm talking about a spineless little weasel who abandons his so-called partner in the Pink Posse when they are attacked by a gang of homophobes that he incited in the first place. Ring any bells?"

"Who… who are you?"

"My name's Brian Kinney. I believe you know my boyfriend, Justin Taylor."

"I … I'm sorry about ... about what happened," Cody stammered.

"Apparently not sorry enough to call and see if he was alive … or fucking dead!"

"I…" Cody started but he really didn't know what to say.

"I'm glad you didn't try to explain your actions, because there is no fucking explanation for your behavior. I came here to tell you that Justin survived in spite of your actions. He'll be just fine. You, on the other hand, are looking to get your head blown off. And it can't be soon enough to suit me. Stay the fuck away from Justin. Find yourself a new playmate for your Pink Posse bullshit. Justin won't be coming out to play with you anymore."

Brian turned and walked out of the store. He would have enjoyed breaking Cody's fingers or his fucking face for that matter. Administering a little pink pain of his own would have been extremely gratifying. But violence of any sort really wasn't Brian's style. He was a fucker not a fighter. He had trouble keeping the smile off his face as he got in the car and headed home to Justin.

*****

Justin didn't know where Brian had gone, but he was eager for him to return. He spent the time alone thinking about what Brian had said to him. He really did need to refocus his life. He had allowed Cody to convince him that violence was the way to reclaim his life. And it had worked for a while, but now he wasn't so sure.

He had never felt so free and so powerful as he had after pulling that asshole's pants off on Liberty and making him run away with his balls dangling between his naked legs. That had been the highlight of everything they had done so far. It was so great to be on the dishing out end instead of the receiving end of violence and curses and hatred.

Justin paused mid thought. And didn't that make him just as bad as the guy who had yelled "faggot" at them? He had turned the tables on the guy, but he had done it by resorting to exactly the same tactics that they had used on him - intimidation, humiliation and fear. Justin had used name calling and violence against the homophobes who ventured onto Liberty Avenue. He had also used violence against the people they had sought out and provoked on their treks into breeder territory. Somewhere along the line, defending Liberty Avenue from homophobes had turned into hunting down Heteros who were stupid enough to voice their displeasure about seeing two men kiss.

And when had he started kissing Cody? How had that happened? It wasn't Justin's style to blatantly flaunt that kind of thing, except maybe at Babylon, but he had blindly gone along with whatever Cody wanted to do. Even the gun. He shivered a bit at the thought of the gun. It had felt so good in his hand, heavy and powerful. It shared its weight and power with Justin when he held it. And that's what he had been seeking - power. He wanted to be the one in control, the one who told homophobes to fuck off, the one who held someone's life in the palm of his hand. And that was just plain … sick.

Justin let out a big sigh. He hadn't realized how angry he had been about … the bashing. Fucking Chris Hobbs had basically gotten away with it, no consequences, no regrets. He may have worked at the hospice to do his community service, but that hadn't changed Chris' attitude about gays, not one iota. Then that man had reiterated the same words Chris had used and Justin had punched him.

What the fuck had he been thinking, Justin asked himself. Brian was right. It was time to move on and do something worthwhile with his life. He could get a job or … go back to school like Brian wanted him to do. Maybe he should sit down with Brian and go over his options.

But first they were going to fuck. Justin went into the bathroom and started the shower. The least he could do was get himself ready for his horny partner when he came home.

Some time later Justin was all clean and scrubbed. He finished drying himself off and applied some aftershave. He ran the towel across his hair, or rather his lack of hair. He wondered if Brian really liked the buzz cut. He'd have to ask him.

Justin walked out into the bedroom and looked at the clock. He hoped Brian would be back soon. With a grin Justin grabbed the tube of lube and began to prepare himself for the inevitable once Brian returned. Bending himself in half to lube up hurt, but it wasn't anything he couldn't bear … for a good cause. He knew his preparations would please Brian.

When the loft door opened, Justin quickly positioned himself on the bed. Brian walked up the steps and stopped in his tracks. Justin was kneeling on the bed, his ass facing the steps. He gave his bountiful bottom a little shake just as an added temptation.

"Somebody's been busy," Brian said trying to keep his voice cool and aloof when all he wanted to do was pounce.

"I thought you might like it … since it's been a while."

"That's what you thought, was it?"

Justin looked over his shoulder. This was not the reaction he had been looking for. "Don't you want…?"

"I didn't say that," Brian grinned, his eyes dark with lust. "Of course I want."

Brian quickly got rid of his clothes while Justin stayed on all fours watching over his shoulder. As Brian climbed onto the bed, Justin felt himself shudder in anticipation. Brian saw the shiver and had to ask, "Are you up to this?"

"I want you," Justin whispered as Brian pulled him into his arms and into a long sensuous kiss. Brian's tongue raked across Justin's teeth, exploring every part of his mouth.

"What position will cause the least discomfort?" Brian asked when he ended the kiss.

"Huh?" Justin asked his senses already on overload.

"Pain. Don't want to hurt you."

"Oh, yeah, I think on my knees like I was when you came in."

"Okay," Brian agreed as he rolled Justin onto his stomach and then gently pulled him up onto his knees. "That feel okay?"

"Yeah, just do it, please," Justin begged.

"Someone's really ready."

"I thought my ass would tell you that when you walked in."

"Then let's get started," Brian said taking a sharp nip out of Justin's shoulder.

He applied a condom and positioned his dick. Slowly he sank into the silken warmth and tightness that was Justin Taylor. He couldn't stop himself from muttering a satisfied "Yes!" as he was fully embedded. He waited for Justin's reaction. Hearing no gasps of pain or discomfort, Brian started to thrust slowly and deliberately.

"Oh fuck!" Justin groaned.

"You okay? Is it too much?" Brian asked worrying about Justin's physical condition.

"It's perfect. Like always," Justin gasped.

Brian smiled and his hands slid over Justin's on the bed, intertwining their fingers. He wanted to be connected to Justin in every way possible. He had come so close to losing his … lover, boyfriend, significant whatever the fuck he was. He quickly banished those thoughts and began to thrust more forcefully as Justin seemed to be able to take anything Brian dished out.

"Brian," Justin moaned. "Oh God, Brian!"

"Almost there," Brian whispered against Justin's neck as he bit at the tender flesh below Justin's ear.

Justin felt Brian's thrusts speed up. His own body crackled with ripples of energy and waves of pleasure. Brian's hand grasped Justin's cock and tugged in time with the thrusts. Justin gasped and called out as his orgasm swept over him and he felt the glorious ecstasy that he had missed for so many days. There was nothing or nobody like Brian Kinney. He felt himself dropping to the bed, but strong arms came around him and eased him to the mattress.

"Brian," Justin whispered knowing Brian hadn't got off yet.

"It's okay," Brian whispered against Justin's neck. "Rest."

"But…"

"Just rest," Brian said gently.

A few minutes later Justin rolled over and looked at Brian, who was lying on his back smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling. "Why did you stop?" he asked.

Brian shrugged. "There'll be other times."

Justin smiled and laid his head on Brian's chest. "There better be. I love you, you know," he whispered against Brian's breast.

Brian blinked hard and said nothing, but he let his arm encircle Justin's back and hold him close. "Don't ever do anything stupid like that again."

"I won't," Justin promised. "You know," he said slowly, "I was thinking, while you were gone."

"Thinking?"

"Yeah, you know when your brain cells try to make you deal with issues you'd rather ignore."

"And what might these issues be?"

"Oh, the usual. Where am I going?"

"Um … P-town?"

Justin snorted. "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

"Weave baskets."

Justin giggled. He couldn't help himself. "What is the meaning of life?"

"There is no meaning. Everything is meaningless."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Justin asked.

"Of course I do."

Justin smiled. "I think I want to find something to do in this meaningless world."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe … instigate world peace."

"Highly overrated."

"Or cure AIDS."

"A noble goal."

"Or go back ... to school."

"Hm."

"Hm, that's all you have to say is 'Hm'?"

"PIFA?"

"That's better, but I doubt they'll take me back."

"You won't know that until you try."

"I guess," Justin sighed.

"What brought about this change of heart?" Brian asked.

"Maybe it was getting clobbered," Justin said running the palm of his hand across Brian's nipple. "Or maybe it was realizing that I could have lost everything." Justin trailed his hand down to Brian's pubes, combing his fingers through the coarse hair as he continued to talk. "Or maybe it was your profound words before you left." His hand slid along Brian's length, touching gently but insistently. "Or maybe you fucked some sense into me."

Brian laughed out loud. "The power of my almighty dick!"

"Yup," Justin giggled as his hand closed around Brian's hardening member. "You never got off before, and that fuck was supposed to be for you. I'm ready to try again, but only if you promise not to stop until we're both done."

"Hm," Brian said rolling over onto Justin, but propping himself up on his elbows so he didn't crush Justin's ribs. "You drive a hard bargain."

"But it's one you can't refuse."

"You got that right," Brian said as he began to kiss Justin senseless.

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