Opposites Attract

Chapter 1

Author's Note:  Many thanks to Sabina and Arwensong for their beta help.

*****

“Opposites?”

“That’s what I said.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh for fuck sake, you know! Different, not the same, diametrically opposed.”

“You can’t use a word to define itself,” Justin informed Brian with his best PSA voice.

“Who the fuck gives a shit!?”

“I do, and the only thing full of shit is you.”

“Goes without saying,” Brian said sarcastically.

“Because it’s true,” Justin added refusing to let Brian’s statement go.

Brian glared. “Seems like there’s a lot of bullshit floating around here today.”

“Better duck then.”

“What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing?”

Justin chuckled in spite of himself. Drawing in a breath, he said, “As for being opposites, don’t opposites attract?”

“Supposedly – if you’re a magnet,” Brian snapped.

“Supposedly?” Justin asked with a look of surprise. Brian merely studied the floor, refusing to look at Justin. “I’m pretty sure that’s what we have – magnetism,” Justin added.

“Animal magnetism.”

“Um…is there something wrong with animal magnetism?”

“It’s not much of a basis for a relationship.” Brian realized he had used the “R” word. That was not good, not when he was trying to convince Justin to leave and go back to New York where his art career awaited him. Justin’s surprise appearance had thrown him. He wasn’t sure what had prompted this visit, but he needed to convince Justin to go back to New York and continue his search for success in the Big Apple and in the art world in general.

“Excuse me! You’re the expert on relationships now?” Justin demanded.

“As much as you are.”

“Why are we arguing when we could be fucking?” Justin asked, remembering what he had come back to Pittsburgh for. He didn’t want to fight. He wanted to make love … with Brian.

“Because fucking won’t solve the issues between us.”

“Issues? What issues? Like that we’re opposites?”

“Among other things.”

Justin heaved a big sigh. “Brian, I came here…”

“From your apartment in New York City.”

“From my hole in the wall in New York City … that I share with two other people.”

“Looking for more space?” Brian asked snidely.

Justin flinched. Maybe there was a grain of truth in that statement. He hated the place he lived in New York, but there was something much more important here than space. “I was looking for you.”

Brian shook his head and walked over to the bar cart. He poured himself a tall scotch and took a slug before turning back to Justin. “I think you better head back to the airport … or go to your mother’s or Debbie’s…”

“Let’s get one thing straight – you don’t tell me what to do. Not now, not anymore!”

Brian raised an eyebrow. This was a new Justin – more self assured, standing up for himself in ways that the old Justin never would have. Maybe forcing him to go to New York had been the right thing to do. But it also was, in all likelihood, the end of their so-called relationship.

“Are you turning me away?” Justin asked in surprise, as the full import of Brian’s words finally struck him. Brian didn’t want him here, didn’t appear to want him at all, not anymore. Justin wondered what the hell had happened in the weeks that he had been gone.

“I guess you could call it that.”

“Brian? What’s going on? You haven’t answered my calls for almost a month. You don’t respond to my emails. You canceled on your last trip to New York. What happened?”

“Look, Justin, you’ve been in New York for months now. Things change.”

“Are you telling me you’ve moved on?”

“Or you have.”

“I haven’t moved anywhere.”

“Except New York City,” Brian reminded him.

“Brian, why would I be here if I didn’t want us…?”

“There is no us.”

“How…how can you say that?”

“It was easy. I opened my mouth and the words came out,” Brian said callously. He could do this. It was for Justin’s own good.

“I can’t believe…”

“Justin, it’s over. Go back to New York,” Brian said, managing to get the words out with no gentleness in his voice. His heart was pounding, but he couldn’t show Justin how much he needed him, or the young man would never go back to New York.

“You…you said it was only time. I’m back and nothing has changed,” Justin stammered.

“Everything has changed.”

Justin opened his mouth to contradict what Brian was saying. Words failed him. He didn’t know what had happened. He had to find out what was going on so that he could make Brian see reason. He knew Brian probably thought he was doing what was best for Justin, but this was so fucked.

As Justin thought about it, he knew he would have to take a different approach. If there was anyone who could spar with him verbally it was Brian. He wasn’t going to win this argument, not with words, apparently not this night. He would have to take a different tack. He needed to think this situation, find out some more information, and figure out was going on with Brian.

“Okay, you win,” Justin said holding his hands out to the side as he had seen Brian do many times. “I’m going.”

Brian looked surprised, but quickly covered it up. “Good,” he said when he had regained his composure. He had not expected Justin to give up so quickly.

“Fine,” Justin replied.

“Toddle on home to mommy.”

“Fuck you, Kinney! I make the decision about where I go,” Justin said coldly. He turned on his heel and walked to the door of the loft. He picked up his duffel bag from where he had dropped it just inside the loft door. He had come there so full of hope and longing to be home. He had made the decision to leave New York, and he knew it was the right thing for him to do. And all he had found when he reached the loft was a withdrawn, uncommunicative, asshole Brian.

With a final look back at Brian he walked out of the loft, holding his head high. He’d be back, he told himself as he crossed the threshold. His last thought was about how the loft door was so fucking irritating. There was no good way to slam it effectively.

Brian watched Justin leave. He stayed where he was by the bar cart. He knew this was far from over. It wasn’t like Justin Taylor to give up so easily. There would be more to come he was sure. He poured himself another scotch.

Pushing Justin away, convincing him to stay in New York and pursue his art there was the right thing to do, just like it had been the first time he had shoved Justin off this particular cliff. He could do it again. He drank some of the scotch knowing he was going to need much more before the night was over.

 

*****
 

“Ted, I don’t know what’s got into him. He was like a stranger. He wouldn’t talk to me. What happened to him while I’ve been gone?” Justin stared at Ted waiting for an explanation of what had changed Brian into the cold, unfeeling man he now seemed to be.

Ted handed Justin a glass of Grey Goose vodka. “You may need this,” he said as he sat down beside Justin on the sofa and took a drink from his bottle of water. It was times like this that Ted really missed a good drink.

“Should you have this in the house?” Justin asked taking a sip of the colorless liquid.

“Probably not, but I think I’ve finally got my demons under control. I no longer feel the minute by minute need of liquor or crystal.”

“What about Brian’s demons?”

Ted shook his head. “That man has more demons than anyone I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re telling me,” Justin said thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure why he had gone to Ted’s after his altercation with Brian. He had started out for his mother’s, but part way there he asked the cab driver to head for Ted’s condo. Maybe the man who worked closely with Brian could supply some of the answers that Justin needed. So here he was. “Can you tell me anything about what’s changed with him? He’s like … like he was when I first met him.”

Ted chuckled at that statement. “Brian Kinney was a major asshole in those days. He never hesitated to tell you about your faults, your shortcomings, your failures.”

“But that was part of what I loved about him. He was brutally honest, but underneath I could always feel that he was saying those things for my own good … for everyone’s good.”

“Yeah,” Ted had to agree.

“So what happened to him?”

“You aren’t there to temper what he does, Justin,” Ted said honestly. “I see this side of him that I don’t like very much. He can be downright cruel in his business negotiations. It’s like he has this need to flex his power over whoever he’s dealing with.”

Justin felt a little piece of himself cringe inside. He knew going to New York was the wrong decision … for him, and apparently for Brian too. He had always felt that Brian and Lindsay had pushed him into something that wasn’t right for him. And now he knew that New York was not right for him.

Brian was much more important than any fucking success in the Big Apple. And Lord knows, there had been precious little success since he went there. He had finally decided that he hated doing what he was doing in New York. He felt like he was living hand to mouth, alone and lonely most of the time, insinuating himself into galleries and parties where he wasn’t really wanted, but was told he should make an appearance. He had met a few people who were supposed to help him with his career, but they didn’t seem all that interested, and that fucking art critic that had started the whole “New York is the only place to further your career” shit had disappeared from the scene.

Justin had never felt so alone in all his life. New York held nothing for him. And worst of all, his artwork was for shit! He hadn’t painted or drawn anything that he really liked since he went there. The four months he had spent in New York might as well have been spent on Mars for all the good it had done him. He had committed to staying in New York for a year to try to make his big breakthrough, but when he had arrived at Brian’s loft earlier, he had already decided that Pittsburgh was where he wanted to be, not New York. He didn’t need any more of New York City, and he was sure that nobody in New York City would miss him.

“Earth to Justin,” Ted was saying.

“Sorry,” Justin replied when he realized that he had totally zoned out. “I was just thinking.”

“I sort of figured…”

“What am I going to do, Ted? He turned me away. He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Ted responded.

“No, no, I don’t know that, not anymore.”

“Brian may talk a good line, but you know he still loves you. Look at what he was willing to do for you.”

“You mean marriage and the big house and … commitment.”

“All that, but also letting you go. He only wants what’s best for you.”

“He’s what’s best for me,” Justin said adamantly.

“Then you’re going to have to convince him of that.”

“But how?”

Ted shrugged. “If I had the answer to that…”

“You’d be ruling the world.” Ted chuckled. Justin said sadly, “Nobody has the answer. And I don’t think I do anymore either.”

“So you’re giving up?”

It was Justin’s turn to shrug. “What else can I do if he refuses to talk to me?”

“You never gave up before,” Ted said gently. He remembered the tenacious teenager that was Justin Taylor when they had first met. He was relentless. He just kept coming back until Brian Kinney finally gave in and took him into his life. “You always had an answer to whatever he did.”

“It just seemed like I had an answer. I was scared shitless most of the time. I never knew what I was doing, what Brian’s reaction would be. That’s why things like Ethan Gold and New York happened,” Justin admitted.

“But you overcame Ethan and the robbery and L.A. and so many other things…”

“Except for the bashing,” Justin whispered. “We never really got past that. It left … scars that neither one of us really dealt with.”

Ted raised an eyebrow. “Justin, maybe you should be telling Brian this, not me.”

“I tried,” Justin said. “But he wouldn’t listen. Just kept saying we were opposites. That we could never be compatible. All kinds of shit like that.”

“Oh,” Ted replied surprise evident on his face.

“What? Does that mean something to you?”

“Um…”

“Ted, tell me, whatever it is. I need your help.”

“Brian will kill me if he ever finds out.” Justin crossed his heart and held up his hand by way of promising to keep the secret. Ted heaved a sigh and began, “About two months ago I walked into Brian’s office to give him some papers to sign. He was on the speaker phone and I don’t think he noticed me at first.” Ted hesitated.

“Go on, Ted. I need to know if it’ll help me get through to Brian.”

“It was Lindsay on the phone,” Ted continued. “She was telling Brian that you might be having a hard time in New York, but he should let you struggle and find your own way. She said that Brian had found his own way in spite of his parents. He should let you do the same thing.”

“Yeah, so what does that have to do with us being incompatible, opposites.”

“It was her next statement that made me take real notice,” Ted said. “She said that you weren’t like Brian. You’d had it too easy until you came out to your parents. She said that you two were from different worlds, that you could never really understand each other, never really make a go of it.”

Justin’s mouth dropped open. “Lindsay … was my friend. Why would she say that?” Justin asked in bewilderment.

Ted shrugged, not wanting to say the real reason he thought Lindsay might have made those statements.

“Unless…” Justin continued, “she really wants me out of Brian’s life permanently.”

“That did occur to me,” Ted admitted.

“But why…? Unless…”

“Unless what?” Ted asked.

“Unless she really thinks that we are incompatible. Do you think we are, Ted?”

“What do I know?” Ted saw the look that crossed Justin’s face. He couldn’t allow Justin to give up. “One thing I do know,” Ted amended. “Brian was never happier than when you two were together. He’s been miserable since you left, especially since that phone call.”

Justin wrinkled his nose. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“Thanks for saying that Ted.”

“It’s the truth.”

“Then I guess it’s time for me to fight for my man,” Justin said as he polished off his vodka.

Ted laughed out loud. “That’s the Justin Taylor I remember. What are you going to do?”

“Fuck if I know, but I intend to figure it out,” Justin said with a smile.

 

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