Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story picks up two days after the end of Close to Home II.


*****

 

"Are you ready to go?"

"No! I'm not fucking ready. Why don't you go back to your own apartment and leave me the fuck alone?"

"Because I'm going with you."

"And if I don't want you to go with me…?"

"To quote you, 'Too fucking bad!' Now get ready."

Brian heaved a noisy sigh. This was going to be his first day back at work in an office with normal human beings, well, as normal as they came at the Ryder Agency. It would be a major step in Brian's return to the world of the living. Since Justin had appeared in the loft building, one floor below where they were now, Brian's whole life had started to change.

And now it appeared that he was going to have company on his first full day back to work at the office, whether he wanted it or not. Justin could be so fucking stubborn sometimes. He stared at his 'boyfriend' who was pacing back and forth in front of the loft door. Brian stuffed some papers into his briefcase as he surreptitiously watched Justin.

He couldn't believe that this beautiful and sometimes infuriating young man was really in his life. Things had changed so dramatically over the last few weeks. He had a boyfriend, a fucking boyfriend! Who would have ever imagined? And he was having sex, great sex! And he was about to go back to work like a normal, well semi-normal human being. And he and Justin were going to start looking for a new place to live … together. Un-fucking-believable!

"Are you ready?" Justin asked again, his impatience clearly evident in his voice.

"Yes!" Brian snapped.

"Then let's get the fuck out of here."

"It makes no sense for you to come with me," Brian tried again. He wasn't sure what would happen when he actually arrived at Ryder. He wanted the option to bail if it all seemed too much. With Justin coming with him that option was effectively eliminated. However, he refused to show Justin what a fucking coward he really was.

"It makes perfect sense," Justin contradicted, pulling back the loft door, as Brian wheeled over to him.

"How do you figure that?" Brian asked testily.

"I figure that if I go with you, you won't chicken out," Justin stated, refusing to cut Brian any slack.

Brian snorted, even though he winced inwardly. Justin was on to him even after the very short time that they had been together. It was rather scary actually. "I don't need a babysitter."

"Just think of me as your own personal cheerleader," Justin said with an evil grin. He pushed the button for the elevator and then turned back to watch Brian lock the loft door.

"I don't need a fucking cheerleader, and I don't want you there."

"I'm going," Justin repeated. He pulled up the gate on the elevator as soon as it arrived. He stepped inside waiting not so patiently for Brian to follow him.

Brian wheeled his chair into the elevator and spun around recklessly to show Justin that he was truly pissed. His wheels ran over Justin's toes.

"Ow! That was fucking deliberate, wasn’t it?" Justin demanded, glaring at his insensitive partner.

"Of course not," Brian replied trying to maintain his best innocent face for Justin's benefit.

"You fucking did that deliberately. I know it. Asshole!" He gave Brian a strong swat across the chest.

"Ow! That hurt."

"It was meant too."

"You're not supposed to hit cripples," Brian protested.

"Yeah, right! Now you play the cripple card. Fuck you, Kinney! And behave yourself, or I'll give you worse than that," Justin threatened.

Brian looked at the serious, angry countenance glaring down at him. "Shouldn't you be home in bed? You know how grouchy you are in the morning."

"Shut the fuck up! I'd love to be home in bed, and you fucking know it, but I'm being a good boyfriend. So grin and bear it!"

Brian grinned in spite of his foul mood and the knot of fear in the pit of his stomach. "Yeah, you are being a good boyfriend," he admitted softly. "I don't deserve you, and you don't have to be here."

"I want to be here, you big goof."

"I … I shouldn't be so … harsh," Brian said gently. He really did mean that he was sorry for being such an ass, when Justin was merely trying to help him.

"Brian, today is a good thing," Justin said softly.

"Thank you, Martha Stewart."

"Asshole!"

"Come here," Brian said as the elevator came to a stop on the main floor.

Justin leaned down towards Brian, only to find arms come around his waist. His body was pulled onto Brian's lap where a long and steamy kiss resulted. When Brian finally released him, Justin stood up and looked through the slats of the elevator gate. No one was there, thank goodness. He adjusted his suddenly very tight jeans.

"Maybe we should forget about the office and go back up to the loft," he murmured.

"What happened to my cheerleader?" Brian chuckled.

"He got very horny … and very … sidetracked."

Brian laughed out loud. "Open the gate, James. I've got business to take care of."

"I hope you'll take care of business when you get home tonight," Justin whispered suggestively.

"Count on it," Brian grinned. "I'll be flush with victory from my return to the world of advertising. I'll fuck you senseless."

Justin grinned back. "I’m going to hold you to that."

They made their way out to Brian's car.

 

*****

 

The ride into Brian's office was very quiet. Neither of them knew exactly what to say. The tension in the car was palpable. Justin knew how much this step meant to Brian. He knew that the outcome of today would either mean Brian's full re-entry into the world, or it would effectively end all attempts to get Brian back into the mainstream. There was so much riding on what happened at the Ryder Agency.

Brian could feel Justin's agitation about what was going to happen when they got to the office. It matched his own, but he hoped he was better at concealing it than Justin was. It wouldn't do to let everyone at Ryder know that he was scared shitless about being there. He had always been able to put up a cool, suave and aggressive façade that backed people right off. They were all a bit afraid of him. But that was before he ended up sitting in a fucking wheelchair. Now he wasn't sure how they'd react to him. He wondered if he should be kinder and gentler with them. That might evoke more consideration. But he didn't really want consideration … or pity. It was really the idea of pity that he so wanted to avoid. He hated the thought that he would see that emotion written all over their faces when he came off the elevator. He wasn't sure he could stand it. He'd just have to bluff his way through, and convince them that he hadn't changed at all.

"Brian?"

Justin's voice interrupted Brian’s thoughts. "Yes."

"Are we almost there?"

"A few more blocks."

"Do you want me to come up with you?"

"I thought that was the general idea," Brian said with a frown. "I wanted you to stay home. Remember?"

"If you don't want me there, I can go home."

"You want to take the car?"

"I could grab a cab."

Brian frowned. It might be easier without Justin being there. He wouldn't have to explain that he now had a boyfriend. He wouldn't feel like he had someone minding him. He wouldn’t feel like a little kid going to his first day of school. If he went in alone, he would seem more independent, able to handle things on his own. "Would you mind?" Brian asked cautiously. He didn't want to hurt Justin's feelings.

"No, I can see how it might be awkward for you if I'm there."

"Then why the fuck did you insist on coming with me?"

"I wasn't sure you'd go otherwise," Justin said honestly.

Brian thought about that. Left to his own devices he wasn't sure he would have got this far either. "You're right. I might have decided to forget this whole fucking idea."

“But you’re going in, right?” Justin asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, I’m going in.”

"I don't want to make it uncomfortable for you."

"Thanks for that," Brian said as he turned into the parking garage of the building that housed the Ryder Agency. "How be you walk me to the elevator and then get off at the ground floor?" Brian pulled into the handicapped parking space right beside the elevator doors. "I love these fucking parking spaces." He grinned at Justin.

"Just one of the perks, Mr. Kinney," Justin chuckled.

"Yeah, there's so many of them," Brian replied sarcastically.

"I love you, Brian Kinney, and you're going to have a great first day back at work."

"If I don't, I may beat you home," Brian said wryly.

"Never happen," Justin replied as he got out of the car. He prayed that he would be right about that. He stood beside the car waiting for Brian to get his chair out and gather up all his belongings. "Ready?" he asked when Brian seemed to have everything and he heard the locks click on the car.

"As I'll ever be," Brian said slowly.

Together they headed for the elevator. Justin pushed the button and they waited.

"You sure you're okay?" Justin asked.

"It feels like I'm going to my own execution, but yeah, I guess I'm all right."

"Good man," Justin replied before stepping into the elevator when the door opened.

"Is that the best cheerleading you can come up with?" Brian asked with a grin. He wheeled himself in beside Justin.

Justin smiled back at him. It was good to hear Brian joke. "Rah, rah, rah! Go, Kinney, go!"

"Much better," Brian snarked.

Justin giggled. "Have a good day, sweetheart," he whispered as the doors opened at street level.

"Thanks, dear," Brian singsonged before taking Justin's hand and pulling him down for a quick, sweet kiss. He didn't care who saw them.

"I'll see you at dinner," Justin said stepping out.

"You hope that's when it will be."

"It will," Justin said confidently as the doors closed taking Brian away from him. He walked slowly to the front doors of the building. He stopped outside on the street, looking up and willing Brian to have a good day. Then he grabbed a cab that had stopped out front to let someone else out. Brian was on his own.

 

*****
 

Brian realized he was holding his breath as the elevator neared the eleventh floor where the Ryder Agency was located. He forced himself to breathe, long deep breaths. He wanted to look normal and breathe normally when he wheeled out of the elevator. He knew they would all be staring at the mighty Brian Kinney who had sunk so low. He could just imagine their faces.

He had been into Ryder a few times since his accident, but only when a client had been very insistent. Ryder had arranged for Brian to arrive early and then be swept out quickly after the meeting. Brian had effectively avoided seeing the majority of the people who worked at Ryder. Or rather, Brian had avoided people seeing him. That was the way he had wanted it. Now he was going to have to face them all. An involuntary shudder swept through him, when the elevator pinged letting him know he had arrived at his floor.

He adjusted his briefcase which sat across his knees. The door opened and there was … Cynthia. He immediately breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar face. She was smiling and he managed a weak smile in response.

"What the fuck are you grinning at?" he demanded when he had regained his composure. He exited the elevator and was very grateful that Cynthia didn't hug him. He could tell that she wanted to.

Cynthia blushed and shook her head. "I guess I'm glad to see you here. Lord knows why."

Brian grinned. Cynthia had helped him relax. He was glad she was the one to meet him at the elevator. He looked up and past Cynthia. There were people standing in their office doorways and near the reception desk. They were all staring at him.

Brian took a deep breath. This would make or break his day and maybe his future as a working ad exec. He opened his mouth hoping that he could get his voice to cooperate. "For any of you that don't know me, I'm Brian Kinney. I'm the best ad executive this company has ever had. I was in a car accident a couple of years ago, and as a result, I'm in this chair. I plan to pick up right where I left off, so live with it."

Abruptly Brian spun his chair and headed for his old office with Cynthia following closely behind. Anyone who had stuck their head out of their office disappeared before Brian got to them. He traveled the now empty hall and wheeled himself into his old office. It looked … different.

"What the fuck is this?" Brian asked looking around.

"Um…"

"Cynthia?" Brian said ominously.

"Brian, it's been over two years since you've used this office. Ryder couldn't leave it sitting empty. We needed the space."

"So, who's been using it?"

"Kip Thomas."

"And who the fuck is Kip Thomas?"

"He's a young up and comer that Ryder hired about a year ago. Ryder left your office as it was for months, Brian, if that's any consolation."

"It's not," Brian said bitterly. "So, who's this Kip Thomas?"

"He started as a junior exec, but he thinks he's hot shit, to quote you."

Brian smiled. "When did he get my office?"

"A few months ago after he was made a full fledged executive."

"That was fast."

"Very. And he wasn't happy that he had to move out of this office when you said you were coming back."

"Too fucking bad! It's the best office in the place and it's mine."

Cynthia grinned at him. "I like to hear you talk like that. Justin has done wonders for your attitude."

Brian made a face. "Don't I get any credit for the changes?"

"Of course you do, but none of them would have happened without a certain blond young man. I'm surprised he didn't come in with you this morning."

"He did."

"He did? Where is he? I didn't see him when you got off the elevator."

"He took a cab home," Brian admitted.

"You didn't want him here?" Cynthia asked. She knew how much Brian depended on Justin for moral support and pep talks and so many other things.

"It wasn't that I didn't want him here. I want him all the time." Brian grinned and gave a suggestive waggle to his eyebrows. Cynthia felt herself blushing. "He knew I had to do this on my own. He knew I didn't want to be perceived as needing help."

"A babysitter?"

"Exactly. I used the same word. He said I should call him my cheerleader instead," Brian chuckled.

"I bet he makes a great cheerleader," Cynthia laughed.

"The best."

"Brian?" a voice said from behind them.

Brian turned in his chair. There stood Marty Ryder. "Marty," Brian said without a smile.

"Great to have you back," Marty replied as he stepped forward and extended his hand.

Brian shook it. "I hope it will be. You're still on trial."

Cynthia smirked since Ryder couldn't see her. Brian tried not to grin at his own joke.

"Then I hope we pass muster," Marty said seriously. "We need you around here."

"That's always good to hear."

"Some of your clients were really glad to hear that you were coming back to work."

"I've still been doing their accounts from home, so why would this make any difference."

"It seems they'd rather deal with you face to face."

"They would? Have you been insulting my clients, Marty?"

"No, of course not," Marty protested. "Several different people have called on your clients from time to time."

"Kip Thomas," Cynthia mouthed from behind Ryder.

"Anyway, I stopped in to say 'Welcome back'."

"Thanks," Brian said dryly.

"I'll let you get settled in," Marty Ryder proclaimed and then beat a hasty retreat out the door.

"What the fuck was that?" Brian asked Cynthia.

Cynthia smirked. "Kip demanded that he take over some of your clients when their contracts were up. He seemed to do all right with them for a while, but lately there has been some … unrest. Apparently some of them think he comes on too strong, not all of them, but some."

"Fucking asshole! I'll have to make sure he stays away from my accounts."

Cynthia nodded. "Can I get you a coffee while you get set up?"

"That sounds great," Brian replied pulling his wheelchair up to the desk and finding that the desk was a little too high for his liking.

"Is Jasper the caretaker still around?" he asked before Cynthia got out the door. "If he's working today, could you ask him to come up here and see me?"

"Sure, Boss," Cynthia said then disappeared out the door.

Brian removed his briefcase from his lap and set it on the desk. He took out his laptop and opened it, setting it beside the computer that was on his desk. He plugged in the port from his computer and booted up the desktop. With a few keystrokes he had the information that he wanted from the laptop transferring to the office computer.

While that was happening, Brian looked around. Suddenly a grin crossed his face. He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Are you home yet?"

"Just got out of the cab," Justin replied with a smile. Then his brow furrowed. "You're not coming home, are you?"

"Not yet."

"Did something happen?"

"I just had a meeting with Ryder. I'm going to have to straighten out some of my accounts."

"They've been screwing up?"

"Apparently."

"It's nice to know you're needed," Justin said, hoping to make Brian feel that he had made the right decision in going back fulltime.

"You don't have to keep cheerleading. I'm staying for now."

"Good man. Rah, rah, rah!"

Brian laughed. "That was just what I needed to keep me going for the rest of the day."

"Happy to oblige." Justin felt a wave of relief pass over him. Things seemed to be going okay for Brian.

"I'll call you before I leave here tonight."

"You better."

Brian smiled. "Go paint something brilliant. I have work to do."

"Go for it, Kinney."

The line went dead.

Brian smiled as he set the phone back on its base. He looked around his office. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

 

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