Almost But Not Quite

Chapter 12

“You!” Justin gasped, when the realization of who he was looking at hit him with a huge impact.

“Yes?” Brian said raising an eyebrow. “Do I know you?” Brian wished he did. His gaydar was pinging like crazy and his cock was definitely interested.

“Um … no, probably not,” Justin muttered, trying to cover his outburst at the sight of his Brian. It was patently obvious that his Brian had no idea who Justin was. Justin could have kicked himself for blurting out, ‘You!’ He was making a fucking fool of himself.

“I’m Brian Kinney,” Brian said stepping forward and holding out his hand for Justin to shake. He couldn’t help but wonder who this striking but decidedly strange young man could be.

Justin moved farther into the room. “I’m Justin Taylor,” he managed to get out, as he tried to make his heart slow down and his mouth work to form words.

Brian took Justin’s proffered hand and shook. He felt a little jolt like static electricity when you drag your feet on a carpet. He looked down at the floor accusingly. Then he looked up into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, eyes that looked vaguely familiar. “Um … have we met somewhere?” Brian asked. He willed his dick to stay down and his memory to kick in.

Justin took in a deep breath and straightened his back. If Brian didn’t remember him, that was fine. He would not make a fool of himself and he would not let Brian make a fool of him either. “I’m sure if you’d met me before, you would have remembered,” Justin said with all the confidence he could muster. He smiled when he realized his voice sounded perfectly natural, even slightly arrogant. That pleased him for some reason.

“Um … yes, probably I would,” Brian muttered, his brow wrinkling at the change in Justin’s voice. He unwittingly used almost the same phrase that Justin had used a minute before, but in the negative.

Justin’s smile broadened. “I suppose you were expecting my father.”

Brian looked into the blue eyes. “Yes, the Mr. Taylor that I usually deal with is somewhat older.”

“Just somewhat?” Justin teased.

“Well, you do look all of … eighteen.”

“That much?” Justin giggled.

“You are eighteen, aren’t you?”

“Not any more. I passed that milestone a few years ago.”

“Really?”

“My father was called away, so he asked me to sit in for him.”

“Have you worked here long? I’ve never seen you before,” Brian said probing for some more information on the handsome man that stood before him.

“That sounds suspiciously like a pick-up line. You wouldn’t be trying to pick me up now, would you, Mr. Kinney?” Justin could swear he saw a slight rise in the color on Brian’s cheeks.

“Me? No, no, of course not,” Brian said hastily. What was it about this guy?

“Too bad,” Justin said with a grin.

Brian blinked and looked at this Justin Taylor. Was this a come-on? That was certainly how it seemed. Brian cleared his throat. He needed some more time to figure out just what was happening between the two of them. Everything seemed slightly off balance. “Should I start the presentation, that is, if your father’s not going to be here?”

“Yes, by all means,” Justin said sitting down at the head of the conference table. He folded his hands on the table and looked at Brian. He could do this, he decided. “Begin,” he ordered haughtily, trying to channel Jean-Luc Picard. He watched Brian Kinney’s reaction with satisfaction. Somehow he had managed to fluster the handsome Mr. Kinney. He enjoyed doing that. If the man didn’t remember him from that night on Liberty Avenue, there was nothing he could do about it. But maybe he could have some fun with him anyway. His Brian seemed definitely interested once again, or for the first time, whichever way it might be interpreted. Justin chuckled out loud.

“Is something funny?” Brian asked as he looked at the blond.

“Um … I just thought of something,” Justin said blushing a bit.

“Care to share.”

“I think not. Please proceed,” Justin said in his best imitation of his father in executive mode.

Brian went through the ideas he had dreamed up to make an impact with the expansion of Taylor Electronics. They included the standard opening day sales at all stores, and some very inventive incentives to get customers into the stores. Mr. Kinney actually called them “inventive incentives” on the flyers and ads he was proposing. Justin really liked that – the bluntness of what they were, and the creativity of thinking of them that way, and the implied humor. He liked the ideas a lot.

When Brian finished his presentation, he waited for Justin to say something. Justin sat in the same position looking thoughtful. Finally Brian couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Well?” Brian asked with a frown. He usually got a quick and positive response from Justin’s father. The son was something else. Brian wasn’t sure whether the younger Taylor liked his ideas or not.

“Does my father know you’re gay?” Justin asked out of the blue.

Brian blinked. Where the fuck had that come from? “I … I can’t say as that topic has ever come up,” he finally replied. “Why do you ask?”

Justin sucked his lips into his mouth, giving himself time to think about how he wanted to answer that. “My father doesn’t know that I’m gay,” he answered.

“Really?” Brian asked in surprise.

“You knew, didn’t you … as soon as I came into the room?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been trying to tell him, but he’s so busy with this expansion that I haven’t been able to.”

Brian snorted. He wondered why Justin was telling him all this. “I bet you could have blurted it out … if you really wanted to.”

“You know … maybe you’re right.”

“It’s a scary process … coming out.”

“What did your parents say?”

Brian screwed his face up. “I never told my father until just before he died of lung cancer. He told me I should be the one dying, not him.”

Justin shivered. What parent would say that to their child? He couldn’t help but wonder what his own father might say. He hoped it wouldn’t be anything as cruel as that. “What about your mother?” Justin had to ask after a minute.

Brian sighed. “She doesn’t know.”

“She doesn’t?”

“I believe that’s what I said,” Brian replied. He let his exasperation with this line of questioning and with references to his fucking mother creep into his voice.

Justin was about to ask if Brian was afraid to tell her, but thought better of it, when he heard Brian’s tone of voice. “I liked your ideas,” he said instead.

“Huh?”

“Your ideas for the ads and flyers, I liked them.”

“Oh.”

“But … um … what about making the lettering purple instead of black?”

“Purple? Isn’t that too gay?” Brian asked tongue in cheek. He just couldn’t resist baiting the young man. “We wouldn’t want daddy…”

Justin interrupted abruptly. “I think the lettering should be purple.”

“What will your father think of that?”

“I’ll run it past him and let you know.”

“Okay,” Brian said stacking up his boards to take them back to his car.

“Purple is the new black, you know.”

“No, I didn’t know,” Brian admitted. “Where did you hear that?”

“In my art classes at Dartmouth.”

“Who the fuck goes to Dartmouth to take art classes?” Brian demanded.

“I did. My father wanted me to take business courses, and I wanted art courses. We compromised.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. “I often find that compromise simply waters everything down. Nobody’s happy with the outcome,” he said with an edge of bitterness in his voice.

Justin looked at him. He wondered what that statement meant, because it sounded like some kind of compromise had not worked out well for Brian. “It … um … it was nice meeting you, Mr. Kinney.” Justin held out his hand.

“You too,” Brian replied, shifting the boards he had in his arms, and shaking Justin’s hand. That little jolt of electricity struck again.

“That’s twice that’s happened,” Justin laughed.

Brian liked the sound of that laugh and he smiled back. A spur of the moment idea struck him. “Could I take you to lunch?” he said unexpectedly, and then mentally kicked himself for asking. This was business.

“Lunch?”

“Yeah, you know, that meal between breakfast and dinner. It is lunch time.”

“Is this like a date?” Justin asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Date? No, of course not,” Brian protested. “It’s a business lunch.”

“Business?”

“Yes, we can discuss what shade of purple you want on those ads, and then I can write the meal off as a business expense.”

“Of course.” Justin laughed at the absurdity of it. His first date with his Brian would be a business lunch. How ironic was that!

“Let me take these down to my car, and then I’ll meet you at the front entrance,” Brian said. “There must be a halfway decent place to eat around here.”

And then he was gone without waiting for Justin’s affirmative or negative response.

“I guess I’m having lunch with the man of my dreams,” Justin sighed. He didn’t know whether to be scared or hopeful or both or none of the above. He didn’t know what to make of this unexpected meeting. It certainly didn’t live up to all the romantic and/or torrid meetings that Justin had dreamed up over the years since that night on Liberty. But it was a start … maybe. Anyway, he could use a free lunch, and he’d find out more about the handsome Brian Kinney. At least now, he had a last name for his Brian.

 

*****
 

Brian carried his boards out to the Jeep. He stowed them in the back and checked to see if the passenger seat was free and clear, in case he needed to drive somewhere for lunch. He moved his briefcase in behind the driver’s seat and shut the doors to the vehicle. He was about to walk back to the front of the building to meet Justin Taylor, when he saw the man step through the door and look around. Brian stayed at the side of his car where Justin could not easily see him. He wondered how long Justin would wait.

Some part of Brian Kinney was rebelling at this lesbianic display he was putting on for the young blond. It was utterly stupid. Brian didn’t do dates, he didn’t take people out to lunch unless he had to, and he certainly didn’t waste his time wining and dining when he could be fucking. He stared at Justin wondering why this one was different.

The man was quite beautiful, but he’d seen and had others who were more beautiful. Justin had a quick wit, and a little bit of arrogance, which intrigued Brian. He had known others with a much more caustic wit. He always appreciated that in a man. He could compete at caustic with the best of them. Justin had seemed a little unsure and worried especially when he first entered the room. Usually Brian didn’t do innocent, but there was a tender somewhat naïve quality to the young man, until he had got his back up. And then there was a fierceness and determination that Brian found … interesting. Maybe that was it. The man was a study in contradictions, and he had one fine ass and a beautiful smile to go along with it. His laugh was … engaging. Christ, Brian chastised himself. He couldn’t believe he was analyzing the attributes of Justin Taylor. He should simply take him to the loft and fuck his brains out. And that would be that.

Brian frowned. Or … he could get in his car and drive away. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with Justin Taylor at all. He’d just have to make sure that old man Taylor was in the office the next time he scheduled a meeting. But that would be very rude, especially since he had already invited Justin to lunch. And he kind of wanted to find out more about this guy. And then he’d fuck him. Yes, that was the plan with which he would proceed.

Brian sucked in a breath and stepped out from behind the Jeep.

 

*****
 

Justin came out the front door of the building. He looked around, but didn’t see Brian anywhere. He realized that he didn’t know what Brian’s car looked like. He had driven a Jeep that night on Liberty Avenue, but that was four years ago.

Justin let his mind drift back to that night. Unconsciously he leaned against the corner of the wall surrounding the entryway to the building. It was a lot like the pose he had struck that night when he had leaned against a lamppost and Brian had come to him.

With the flicker of a smile, Justin relived that moment in his head. He had spent so much time since that night thinking about what might have been. Here he was, finally meeting the man of his dreams again, and the guy didn’t even remember him. Justin let out a sigh. Life just wasn’t fair … at least not to him.

However, Brian had asked him to lunch. That was something. He could spend some time with Brian, and maybe the man’s memory would be jogged. Justin screwed up his face. How likely was that? Brian didn’t recognize him. Apparently that night on Liberty had been a fleeting encounter that hadn’t made much of an impact on Brian. Too bad it had made such an impact on himself, Justin thought. He had spent over four years thinking about this mystery man, and the mystery man hadn’t given him a second thought.

Justin looked around. He caught a glimpse of Brian Kinney standing behind … a Jeep. Justin smiled to himself. Some things didn’t change. Justin decided to try something. He thought back to that night on Liberty. He opened his suit jacket and let it flop slightly off his shoulder. He leaned back a little more against the building. He wished it was a lamppost, but the building would have to do. If only it was dark and there was some steam rising around him, that might make Brian remember. Justin looked in Brian’s direction, silently daring Brian to come get him.

 

*****
 

As Brian stepped out from behind his Jeep, he looked at Justin. He could almost swear that the young man was posing for him. It made him feel vaguely uneasy. It seemed like there was something he should remember and act on. But if there was, he couldn’t figure it out. He headed towards Justin.

“Hey,” he said as he approached the blond.

“Hey,” Justin replied with a small smile.

“Got any suggestions about where to eat?”

Justin sighed. He had been hoping that Brian would ask him if he had had a busy night. That would have proved that his actions had jogged Brian’s memory and made him remember that long ago night, but obviously they didn’t. “Joyce turned me on to a nice little café down the street,” he said.

“Good, let’s go.”

Justin took the lead as they headed towards the café. Lunch might prove interesting. Maybe it would lead to something more. Justin was already debating if he should tell Brian they had met before.

“This is it,” Justin said stopping in front of a small restaurant.

“After you,” Brian replied holding the door for the blond.

Justin smiled to himself as he entered. “Table for two,” he told the hostess.

The two men followed her to a small table next to the windows. They could look out into the street, and anyone who chose could look at them. Brian sat first, leaving Justin to seat himself. Justin had half expected Brian to hold his chair for him, but that would have been way too … gay … too over the top. He giggled to himself as he sat down.

“You have a habit of doing that,” Brian stated rather sarcastically.

“Doing what?” Justin asked. He hoped he hadn’t giggled out loud, but he probably had.

“Giggling. What’s so damn funny?”

“Oh nothing. I was just thinking about something.”

“Your mind must be a very entertaining place,” Brian said tongue in cheek.

Justin grinned. “You have no idea.”

Now it was Brian’s turn to chuckle. He did find the young Mr. Taylor quite entertaining. “Let’s order. I can’t stay too long.”

“Oh,” Justin said, the tone of his voice clearly showing that he was disappointed that Brian had to leave soon.

Something about Justin’s reaction warmed Brian’s cold heart. He gave himself a good shake, wondering what the fuck was going on with him. He was acting so out of character.

They placed their orders and the waitress immediately brought them coffee. Brian doused his with sugar and Justin raised an eyebrow as he watched him. He added a little cream and sugar to his own.

“So, how was Dartmouth?” Brian asked, having searched unsuccessfully for some other innocuous topic of conversation. He had decided against the weather.

“It was okay,” Justin said in a rather non-committal tone. “Where did you go to school?”

“PS 118,” Brian said with a smirk.

Justin giggled and Brian decided he could actually get used to that sound.

“And for your higher education?” Justin asked.

“Alleghany High. You?”

“St. James Academy.”

“Ah, a private school lad.”

“Yeah,” Justin said ruefully.

“You don’t sound very happy about your school career.”

“I’m not.”

“Why?” Brian asked as the waitress brought their salads.

“I got picked on a lot the last couple of years I was at St. James,” Justin admitted, although he wasn’t sure why he was telling Brian that.

“Because you’re gay?” Justin nodded as he started to eat his salad. “I got a bit of that when I was in high school.”

“Oh? What happened?” Justin wanted to know.

“One of the school jocks shoved my head into the toilet after gym class one day,” Brian said shaking his head at the memory.

“Eiw! Gross.”

“Yeah, very gross. It’s a wonder I didn’t contract hoof and ass disease.”

Justin laughed out loud. “Isn’t that hoof and mouth?”

“Not in my world,” Brian smirked.

“What did you do? Report him?”

“Would you have?” Brian challenged with a frown.

“Reported him?” Justin asked. Brian nodded. Justin looked thoughtful for a moment. “No, reporting homophobic acts never resulted in any kind of punishment for the perpetrator at St. James. It just meant I’d get picked on worse after I reported them.”

Brian nodded knowingly. “Exactly! So I waited till the jock opened his locker and leaned his hand along the side of it, and then I slammed the door on his fingers. He couldn’t play football for the rest of the season.”

Justin’s eyes had gotten very big. Brian waited for the man to cry out in horror at his actions. “I wish I’d thought of that,” Justin said after a moment. “Chris Hobbs would have gotten some of his own medicine if I had.”

Brian smiled. He liked this spunky guy. “Is Chris Hobbs your jock of the year from St. James?”

“Yep.”

“Did you ever retaliate?”

Justin shook his head. “No, I was too busy trying to please my parents. I knew it wouldn’t do me any good anyway. Every time I tried to stand up to the homophobic asshole, I was the one who got in trouble.”

“Been there, done that,” Brian commiserated. “That’s why I took matters into my own hands. I decided if I was going to get punished then I might as well do something worth being punished for.”

“I like your attitude,” Justin said with a smile.

Brian felt his cock jump at Justin’s approval and the sunny smile he had received from the blond. He wasn’t sure why Justin’s approval mattered to him, but it did. Brian looked at his watch. “I have to get going.”

“Sure,” Justin said, as he finished his salad.

They got up and went to the front counter to pay for their meals. Brian took care of that while Justin waited for him. As they exited the restaurant, Justin thanked Brian for the lunch.

“I … enjoyed it,” Brian said, realizing that he actually had. They walked along the street in silence, until Brian said, “Do you ever go to Babylon?”

“Babylon?” Justin asked remembering that he had been told about it by the guy in Torso when he was buying clothes to wear to the GLC art show. That was a long time ago. He wondered why he remembered.

“It’s a dance club,” Brian was saying when Justin tuned back in. “I’ll be there tomorrow night. We could … dance.”

Justin’s smile rivaled the sun on the early summer day. “That would be nice,” he said with a husky quality to his voice.

Brian wanted to yank him into the Jeep and fuck him senseless, but something told him that wouldn’t be a good idea. “Then I’ll see you at Babylon.”

Justin nodded and entered Taylor Electronics. His heart was pounding in his chest.

Brian Kinney climbed into his Jeep and let out a long breath. What the fuck was he doing? Had he just made a date with the blond? He had to be losing his fucking mind. He started the car and peeled out of his parking space.

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