Torn

THIS STARTED AS A FIC CHALLENGE  AND BECAME A JOURNEY OF LOVE AND HEALING.   DEDICATED TO THE TEMPLE OF SUNSHINE.   YOU MAKE MY DAY FULL OF LOVE AND LIGHT AND TO ALL WHO HAVE EVER FELT THE PAIN OF LOVE AND LIVED TO TELL IT.

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Scene opens in the loft where we find Brian and Justin arguing.

"Damnit Brian don't shut me out. What the fuck is going on with you? I thought we were past the Brian being an asshole stage." Justin had been fighting with him for hours now and he was sick of it. This had to stop. One way or another they were going to settle this tonight.

Brian had had enough of this. And he was going to stop it now. "Justin I am warning you to drop this NOW.  I am not going to keep rehashing this over and over with you.  I am not going to change.  That is how it is.  Deal with it."

Justin was in his face then.  Brian could not believe this child had the balls to challenge him.  He felt himself losing what little control he had left.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE NOW JUSTIN BEFORE YOU REGRET IT.  I AM WARNING YOU ONE LAST TIME.  DROP IT.  NOW!"  Brian turned his back to Justin.  His anger was building and he had no control left.  He was afraid of what he may do if he was pushed any further.

Justin was not about to drop it.  He was persistant and never backed down when it came to Brian Kinney.  He moved closer to Brian to let him know he could not push him away.  He was not expecting what happened next. Brian turned around unaware that Justin was so close.  As he spun around he saw Justin go flying across the room.  He heard him hit the wall before he realized what had actually happened.  He was instantly aware of what he had done.

Justin felt himself hit the wall.  He saw the room spin and felt the blood in his eye.  He tried to wipe it away and it became clear that there was something terribly wrong with his arm.  He looked up and saw Brian coming towards him.  He struggled to his feet as quick as he could.  Moving away from Brian he felt his way along the door.  He was having trouble standing and concentrating.  The loft was spinning before his eyes.  He had to get out of there now.  He felt Brian's hand on his arm and he looked to his lover with hatred in his eyes.

"Get your hands off me now.  Don't you ever touch me again.  Leave me alone Brian. Get away from me and leave me alone." Justin was so calm it scared the shit out of Brian.  He watched as the only person who mattered to him walked out of his life.  He was still in shock over what he had done.  He knew that he had to make sure Justin was ok.  If he could not do that then he knew who could.

Michael found Justin slumped against the door of the loft, his face covered in blood.  He could not believe that Brian had done this to Justin.  He knew that Brian loved Justin and would never hurt him.  He reached out to help Justin to his feet and Justin jumped.  He knew that the boy had been through alot in a few minutes.  He whispered to him.

"Justin it's me, Michael.  Are you ok?  Don't be scared I am going to help you up and take you to the hospital. It is going to be ok.  No one is going to hurt you now."

Justin looked at Michael as if he had never seen him before.  He let Michael help him up and lead him to the elevator.  He did not remember much after he left the loft.  He kept thinking 'How the hell did Michael find me?'

Michael called Jennifer and Debbie despite Justin's pleas not to.  He knew that they needed to be there to support Justin.  Justin was going to need all the help he could get.  Michael left Justin with his mother and went back to the loft.  There were some things he needed to straighten out with Brian.  And he needed to do it now.

Michael walked into the loft and could not believe what he saw.  Furniture was everywhere.  Nothing was in one piece.  Every dish was broken.  The bed was thrown into the living room floor.  Michael looked around saw a chair thrown through the tv.  The windows were broken in places.  Michael found Brian sitting on the floor of the shower.  He called him several times before Brian realized he was there.  Michael knew he could no longer sugar coat things anymore.  He was afraid Brian had crossed the line this time.  And he may never make it back.

"Brian what the fuck happened here tonight?" Michael looked at him sitting there and knew he had to reach him before it was too late.  "Talk to me Brian. What happened?"

Brian heard his name being called.  It sounded so far off.  He wasn't sure if it was real or imagined.  He looked up then to see Michael standing over him.  The look on his face said it all.  Michael was frightened.  Not only for him but of him.  He could not really remember what had actually happened and he had no clue where Justin was now.

"God damn it stop fucking yelling at me.  I am not deaf.  What the fuck do you want?" Brian shot him a look that said say your peace and get out.

Michael shot back  "Do you remember why you called me Brian?"  Not getting an answer he continued. "BRIAN.  BRIAN.  DAMN IT BRIAN YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR THIS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT."  Michael reached out and grabbed his face turning it to look right at him.

"You hurt him.  He is at the hospital now.  Do you know what you did to him?  Do you CARE?"  Michael could see the blank look in his eyes and knew he was not getting through to him.  "FUCK YOU BRIAN KINNEY!  I AM THROUGH CLEANING UP YOUR MESS.  DO IT YOURSELF.  YOU ALMOST KILLED THE ONE PERSON WHO LOVED YOU SELFLESSLY.  NOW YOU DEAL WITH THAT."  Michael turned and walked out of the loft without a glance back at the man who had been his friend for years.

No one had seen Brian for 3 days.  He had not been to work.  He had not been to Babylon and he was not at the loft.  It was like he disappeared.  When he walked into the diner that day all eyes were on the blonde sitting at the counter.  Brian followed their eyes and took in the sight of Justin sitting there.  Then he saw the black eye. And the stitches above his right eye.  As his eyes moved lower he saw the cast on the boy's left arm.  He flashed back to Justin on the floor.

He moved to the counter.  Before he could say a word Deb was there.  "Leave him alone Brian.  Haven't you hurt him enough?"  Justin stopped her.  "It is ok Deb,  I have a few things to say to him."  Debbie moved away but still close enough to be there if Brian tried anything.

"Brian you can not fix this with words.  And you can not fix this with that smile of yours.  I am not going to accept your apology so save your breath." Justin spit at him.

"Justin I did not mean to, baby I am sorry.  I know you don't believe that.  And I dont blame you.  Just please don't hate me.  Give me a chance to make it up to you."  Brian was pleading.

Justin could not believe what he was hearing.  "You have some nerve.  YOU did this to me.  You are no better than Chris Hobbes.  You are worse.  You told me you loved me and would never hurt me.  You lying bastard. Get out of my sight.  I don't care what happens to you.  I never want to see you again.  You are just like your father.  And he was right.  You are no good."  Justin stood up and brushed past him.

Brian watched him leave trying to hold back the tears.  He thought about what he had seen.  And what Justin had said to him.  He thinks I am like Jack.  Oh god what have I done?  Did I do that to him?  Could I be the one to hurt him that bad?  Why can't I remember it?

Justin went home and laid down on the bed at Deb's.  He thought back over the last few months.  He thought of how Brian had started to become rough in bed.  It had all started when Debbie found that body in the dumpster. Brian had started to change then.  Like that night on the bed when he had choked Justin.  At first Justin liked it a little rough.  But then it started to get wierd.  Brian would forcefully hold him down and not let him move at all. Then he began to tie him to the bed.  He would sometimes leave him there for hours like that.  Justin thought at the time that Brian was just playing with him.  Now he realized that that was just the beginning.

Justin remembered the night Brian saw him dancing at Babylon with some trick.  He remembered how Brian came over and grabbed him by the arm.  When the trick tried to protest Brian punched him.  Justin was a little scared by the look in Brian's eyes.  He swore he would kill the trick if he came back.  He pulled Brian outside. Brian led him to the jeep.  They drove home in silence.  When they walked into the loft Brian pushed him over the table and handcuffed him to the leg of the table. He tore at Justin's pants and pushed his dick into Justin's dry ass.  When he had cried out in pain Brian told him "Shut the Fuck up you little faggott." and continued to fuck him.  Justin was sore for days after.  He never let Brian know.

Some days it felt like he was living with two different Brians.  He never knew what was going to set him off.  He was scared to do much of anything anymore.  He did not like this new Brian.  He was starting to not want to stay at the loft anymore.  Brian was really losing control and he did not like it at all.

Brian thought back over how he had been acting the last few months with Justin.  He had known he was losing his control over his feelings for the boy.  He could not let that happen.  Ever again.  The last time he let himself fall in love look what had happened.  He thought back to when he was only 18 and young and stupid.  He had met Braden at the grocery.  He had spotted him the moment he walked in.  The tall older man commanded his attention.  Tall and blonde and gorgeous.  He knew he had to have him.  So he went to him and said hi. That was the beginning of the end of love for Brian Kinney.

He had wanted to please Braden more than anything. He would have done anything to make him smile.  Brian Kinney had never known love in his young life.  And Braden gave him the world.  He showed him how to dress and how to walk with confidence.  Then he showed him how little he really knew about love.

The first time Braden hit him Brian thought he deserved it.  Then the abuse worsened.  Brian did not think he would ever feel that low again.  He had ran from the abuse at home straight to the arms of a man who did the same.  How had he fallen into this trap again.  Brian Kinney was by no means a man who let people take advantage of him.  He just could not break free of this man.  Braden controlled all he did and thought.  Brian knew this was not healthy for him.  He knew eventually Braden would kill him.

Then it happened.  Brian came home from school late one night and Braden was waiting for him.  He looked at Brian with such anger.  "I told you to never keep me waiting.  You disobeyed me Brian.  Now I have to punish you." Brian did not know what to expect this time.  He saw Braden coming at him with something in his hand. Then he felt the tip of the knife on his wrist.  He knew that Braden meant to kill him that night.  He had to do something.  NOW!  He had seen it on the desk when he walked in.  He knew if he could just get over there it would all be over.  He started to struggle with Braden.  Moving his way slowly towards the desk.  As he felt the blood start to trickle down his arm he finally found it.  He could feel the cold steel in his hand.  Ever so slowly he lifted it and then there was a single gunshot and it was all over.

He took off his trademark bracelet and fingered the scar that lined his wrist.  He would never forget how he had fought for his life that very night.  How he had turned and calmly left Braden's house and never looked back. He decided then and there he would never let himself love anyone again.  And then he met Justin and try as he might he could not help but love that boy.  Justin loved with such purity and such openess.  Brian had never known love could feel that good.  Things were going well until he saw him.  He had just assumed that Braden had died that night.  Now he knew that was not the case.  He had seen him in the crowd that day.  The day Deb found that stupid kid in the trash.  It all came crashing back to him at once. The beatings, the scars, the fear. He thought it was all over.  Little did he know it had just begun.

Lying there on the floor his loft Mikey's words came flooding back to him.  "You almost killed the one person who loved you selflessly.  Now deal with it."  Brian lay there as the sobs overtook his body.  He was gasping for breath.  'How will I live without him?'  he asked himself.  He will never want me back now.  Oh my god I almost killed Justin.  How bad was it really?  I have to find out.  I have to know he is ok.  The thoughts in his head were running wild.  He knew he had to do something.  Anything to make Justin love him again.

Brian reached for the phone and waited for her to answer.  He got Melanie instead. "Let me talk to Lindsay." he commanded when she answered.  "Fuck you Brian.  Stay away from her and stay away from Gus.  You need help.  And I will not let you hurt Gus." she slammed the phone down then.  He was not giving up now.  Only Linds could help him now and he needed her more now than ever.  He found her alone at home the next afternoon.  She opened the knock at the door to find him standing on the porch.  He caught the door with his foot when she tried to slam it in his face.

"Brian get out.  You are not welcome here now.  I dont want you around Gus.  You scare me Bri.  Please get some help.  Before you lose more than Justin.  Before you lose yourself."

"Linds I need help.  I need to see Justin.  I need to make him know I did not mean it.  And I need to know if he is ok.  I need to tell him why."  he was begging her to help him.  She was looking at him with pity in her eyes.  "I can't help you now Brian.  You have to help yourself."  With that said she left him standing alone in the kitchen.

He could not believe it.  Lindsay had turned her back on him.  He was completely on his own.  And it scared the fuck out of him.  He had always proclaimed to be a loner and that all he ever wanted was to be alone.  Now he finally got his wish and it hurt.  He had to find out just what he had done to Justin.  Then he had to find a way to get him back.

Justin was back at work and had not been there ten minutes when a delivery man came in with roses.  He asked for someone named Sunshine.  Justin took the flowers and opened the card.

Justin,

I don't know exactly what happened.  I am sorry.  I love you and I am going to make this right.  I promise you that I will never hurt you again.  I love you.

Brian

Justin looked at the roses and smiled a sad smile knowing that he still loved Brian even after all this.  How could he just turn that off?  How could he walk away from the man he loved beyond all reason?

Brian had been missing for 4 weeks now.  No one had a clue where he was.  Not even Cynthia.  All he had told her was that he was taking all the vacation and sick leave he had.  He had left no number where he could be reached.  Michael was getting frantic now.  What if he had done something stupid.  Michael was even thinking of calling Joan to see if she had heard from him when Justin walked in and shocked the hell out of them all.

He was holding an envelope in his hand.  In that envelope was a letter to them all from Brian.

Sit the hell down and shut the fuck up.  This is important.  I know that you must be wondering where I am and I am sure by now Mikey you think I offed myself.  Well relax.  I am fine.  I am safe and I am alive.  Mel don't look so let down.  No I am not off fucking every man in town.  I came to the realization that if I ever want a chance at happiness with Justin and my son I have to make some changes.  So I am doing just that.  I am getting help for all the problems I have.

No I have not been kidnapped and forced to write this.  I am really doing it.  I have checked myself into a treatment center to try to make some sense of my fucked up life.  I have hurt everyone I know.  But worst of all I hurt Justin.  Not just emtionally but physically.  He will have those scars forever because of me.  I have to make that right.

Justin I love you.  I love you more than I ever thought possible.  Everything I am now is because of you. Everything I do is for you.  I want to prove to you that I can be the man you need me to be.  I want to be the man you need me to be.  You are part of me.

I will not be back for awhile.  I have to work this out and I have to confront the past so I can move onto the future.  Justin I just hope that you will be my future.

This will be my only communication until I am done here.  Just know that you are in my heart and I love you.

Brian

Justin wiped the tears from his eyes in disbelief.  Brian had once again told him he loved him.  He wanted to find him and tell him he loved him too.  But he knew that he had to let Brian work this out if they ever stood a chance of having a life together.

Brian walked into his therapists office prepared for anything.  What he did not expect was to find Braden sitting there.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Brian looked to Dr. Johns.

"Brian I invited him here to help us deal with some of the issues in your past." the doctor told him.

"There are no issues Doc.  He tried to kill me.  That is not an issue.  It is a fact.  He was abusive and he took away my soul." Brian was furious.  He turned to Braden and spit at him  "You should be dead.  You took my innocence and you created a monster.  Do you know what you did to me?  Do you know what you made me do to Justin?  You made me think love was suppose to hurt.  That I was not good enough for love.  That I did not deserve it.  Then you made me live with that for 13 years.  It ate away at my very soul.  Til I thought I could never love anyone.  Well I won't let you win you sick bastard.  You caused me to hurt the one person who ever loved me purely and honestly.  And now I may have lost him because of you.  I hope you rot in hell.  You did not win Braden.  Justin's love is stronger than your hate.  And I will not let you destroy him as well."  Brian turned and left the office.

Brian spent six weeks at the center trying to remember and trying to forget.  He woke in a cold sweat one night and he remembered everything that he had said and done to Justin that day.  He remembered what started it all.  Brian was supposed to go to dinner at Justin's mom's house.  But by the time Justin got off work Brian was drunk.  Justin told him  "You are so selfish Brian.  You knew this meant a lot to me.  Today of all days you should have been courtious enough to show up and be sober.  I can not believe you did this again.  Damnit Brian."

Justin had walked away from him and that set him off.  He jumped to his feet and grabbed the boy.  "DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME. HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.  WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?  A RELATIONSHIP?  YOU ARE A STUPID LITTLE FAIRY ARENT YOU?  YOU ARE JUST HERE UNTIL I AM TIRED OF YOU."  Brian yelled.

Justin pulled himself out of Brian's grip and went to the bedroom to get some things to stay at his mom's that night.  He could not stand to be around Brian when he was like this.  He felt his hands on his neck and tried to shrug him off.  Brian was kissing his neck then.  Justin turned into the kiss.  He never could say no to Brian. Brian pushed him to the bed.  He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his tie from earlier.  He took Justin's hands and tied them above his head.  Justin started to protest until he felt Brian's tongue at his hole. He felt Brian licking his ass with his wet tongue.  Then he gasped as Brian pushed his tongue gently in.  He was just about to shoot his load when Brian sat up and grabbed a condom.  He pushed the head of his dick into Justin forcefully.  Justin was struggling to get his hands free when Brian reached up and held him still.  Pumping harder and faster into him.  Brian felt Justin give into what he was feeling.  He loved to make Justin do what he wanted him to.  He felt himself cumming and then he felt Justin's cum all over his chest.  He had left Justin tied to the bed for an hour before he remembered to untie him.  The only thing that reminded him was Justin's mother calling.

Then he saw it happen.  He saw himself hit Justin.  He saw Justin hit the wall.  He saw the blood flowing from the scar above Justin's eyebrow.  He knew what he had done.  He tried to go to him and help him.  But he knew the fear in Justin's voice all too well.  He knew not to touch him again.  He saw another young man scared and confused.  That young man was himself.  As soon as he heard Justin sink to the floor outside the loft he called Michael.  All he had told him was that Justin needed help.  He knew Michael would come.  In fact he counted on it.

Brian left the clinic that day.  He left to go reclaim what he had lost.  He knew the only way to show Justin he was not the man he used to be was to tell him everything.  Starting with his childhood.

It had been 2 weeks since they had gotten the letter from Brian.  No one knew when he would be back until Lindsay called and told them all that Brian had asked them to meet at Lindsay's that night at seven.  They were all seated in the living room when Brian walked in.  He looked around the room at all the people he loved.  He knew what he was about to say would not be any easier for them to hear than for him to say.  He had to do this. It was the only chance he had to get Justin back.

"I know that this may be a little strange for some of you.  And some of you may even learn not too hate me so much.  I am not going to sugar coat this.  I want to say this.  No, I need to say this.  And I need you to just listen and let me finish before you say anything.  So get comfortable it is going to be a long night."  He looked at Justin and gathered his strength before he began.

"When I was three my father told me he hated me.  Then he hit me.  Not just a spanking but he knocked out four teeth.  I remember looking for my mother.  I saw her standing there watching as he hit me.  She did nothing to stop him.  NOTHING.  That is the first memory I have of Jack and Joan.  I remember how he would come in drunk and yell at her for letting me sleep with Claire.  Then I would be pulled out of bed in the middle of the night and Jack would try to teach me to not be a little faggott and to be a man.  All the while Joan just stood there and watched.  She never tried to help me.  Not once.  She always stood by and watched.  I never understood how she just let him do it.  She was my mother she was suppose to protect me.  Then as I got older I heard her scream the nights he did not hit me.  She took my beatings for me.  If not for her he would have killed me.  Then I left.  I ran as far as I could get from that fucked up life.  I had not been at school long when I met Braden.  He was older and at first he treated me like a prince.  He bought me clothes and gave me the finer things.  And then it all went horribly wrong.  It began as him yelling at me and verbally abusing me.  Then he hit me.  He began to control my every move to the point where I was afraid to disobey him.  Then one day I came home late because class ran long.  Braden was waiting for me.  He grabbed me and told me he was going to punish me.  He put the knife to my wrist.  There was not doubt in my mind he was going to kill me."  Brian was staring at the floor.  He could not bring himself to look at Justin.  He knew he had to keep going now.  There was no turning back.

"That is when I knew I had to do something.  I remembered the gun sitting on the desk near the door.  I somehow got there and just as the knife slit my wrist I shot him.  I left him for dead.  I never looked back and I never told anyone.  I finished school and made up my mind that I would never fall in love again.  Then I saw Justin and knew I could not stop myself from loving him.  I tried.  I really tried.  But I could not stop myself.  I fell in love.  I never told him.  But I loved him from the moment I saw him.  Things were going fine til the day Deb found that body.  I saw Braden that day.  I never knew he had not died.  I lost it then.  I guess I thought he was coming after me.  I did not want him to know about Justin.  I did not want him to ever hurt Justin.  And then I did."  Brian walked over to where Justin sat and knelt before him.

"Justin, I love you.  I am so sorry.  I know I can never take it back or make it go away.  But you have to understand that it was not really me then.  I was not aware of what I was doing.  I did not mean to hurt you.  I did not know you were there.  I would never ever hurt you intentionally.  You are the very reason I am alive. Without you I am nothing.  With you I am everything.  I do not want to live without you.  I can not live without you.  Life has no meaning without you in it.  I need you Justin.  You complete me.  You make me whole.  You make me want to be good.  You make me want to love again.  You have shown me how good love can feel. Thank you for all you have given me.  I know that I am asking a lot but please give me the chance to show you the man you made me.  I can't promise you I will never hurt you again.  But I can promise you that I will never ever physically hurt you again.  I would give my life for you.  I LOVE YOU."  Brian got up and walked out.

He was almost to the jeep when he felt the hand on his back.  He turned expecting to see Lindsay or Michael. He was shocked to find Justin standing there.

"Did you mean what you said in there?  Was it true?  Do you love me Brian.  Enough to change?"  Brian knew Justin had reason to be skeptical. "Justin I have changed.  I spent the last six weeks in a mental institution.  I had to make this stop.  I had to make you see that I need you.  That I love you.  You are the reason I get out of bed.  I love you and that is all I can promise you."

Brian got into the jeep and shut the door.  Then he heard the other door shut and felt Justin's hand on his leg. "Take me home Brian."

Brian took Justin home to the loft.  Justin walked in and took Brian's hand and led him to the bedroom.  He lay back on the bed as Brian took his place above him.  Brian was nervous.  Justin leaned up and kissed him.  He licked Brian's lips before pushing his tongue into his mouth.  He explored the inside of Brian's mouth for what seemed like hours.  He could feel Brian's heart racing.  Justin was in control of this and Brian was not about to stop him.  Justin ran his hands up Brian's back and felt the muscles so hard and tight.  Brian had a great body. And Justin loved to explore it.  He raked his nails across his back  just hard enough for Brian to feel it.  He wanted Brian to know he was there.  He moved Brian's shirt over his head and moved his mouth to his neck. He nibbled and licked until Brian thought he would die from pleasure.  Justin moved to Brian's chest and pulled one of his nipples into his mouth. He began to slowly suck on it. Tracing it with his tongue.   He could feel Brian's hard dick throbbing against his thigh as he leaned in closer.  His own dick was rock hard and straining to be free of his jeans.  Brian reached for him and Justin pulled back far enough to be out of his reach.  He did not want to rush this.  He was going to make this a night Brian would never forget.  Justin unbuttoned Brian's pants and pulled his cock into his hand.  He began to lightly stroke it.  He could feel it throbbing in his hand.  He stroked from head to balls.  He knew how Brian loved to have his balls sucked and massaged.  He moved to take Brian' s throbbing cock into his mouth.  He took the entire length in all at once.  Justin loved the feel of Brian's long thick cock down his throat.  He pulled back enough to run his tongue over the head of him.  To lick the slit.  He knew Brian was close to cumming but he could not help himself.  He wanted to drink in every drop of cum from that perfect dick.  Then he tasted the salty liquid down his throat.  He licked and sucked every drop.  He could hear Brian saying  "Oh God Justin.  Justin.  I  love you Justin.  Oh OOO..AHHH...UHHHHH.. Justin."  as he came.  Justin fully expected Brian to rest at least a few minutes before they continued.

Within minutes Brian was hard again and this time he told Justin to turn over.  He licked down Justin's back and came to rest between the boy's thighs.  His tongue darted out and found the tight hole.  He licked at it until it was nice and wet.  Then he slid it into the hole just slightly.  He heard Justin catch his breath.  He pushed his tongue in farther until it was all the way in.  He rolled it around slowly at first.  Darting in and out until he felt Justin's hips begin to buck up and down.  He knew Justin was ready.  He reached for the tube of lube and a condom.  He slid the condom on his dick and and put the lube on his fingers.  He moved to smear it on Justin's hole.  He put the head of his dick between his ass and waited just a moment til he heard Justin whimper.  He pushed all the way in hitting his prostate the first thrust.  He waited for what seemed like forever for Justin to feel the pressure before he withdrew.  He pushed right back in and pushed against his prostate again.  He knew Justin could not take much more.  He reached around and took his cock into his hand and began to stroke it until he felt him start to tremble.  He sped up his thrusts and just before they both came he withdrew and rolled Justin over.  He removed the condom and stroked Justin some more.  They both came at the same time and their cum mixed together on Justin's flat stomach.  He knew this was as close as they had ever been.

Brian looked down and watched Justin as he slept wrapped in Brian's arms.  He knew this was where he belonged and he knew that no matter what he would spend forever proving to Justin how much he was loved.

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