Another Day At The Office
“You’d think that if he was going to screw someone here at work, he’d at least be subtle about it. I mean, I always knew he was a prick, but I never thought he was stupid.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You didn’t hear that the cleaning crew found used rubbers in his office? The wrappers, anyway. Shit.”
“At least he’s getting some. Might make him more human.”
“Fat fucking chance.”
“Who the hell would fuck him, anyway?”
“Are you kidding? He’s the best looking thing I’ve seen in years. And he’s got a brain. And he has money and he’s a partner. Who wouldn’t sleep with him?”
“Yeah, well from what I hear you’re wasting your time. You’re not his type, darlin.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t have the right equipment.”
“That’s bullshit. You don’t know he’s gay.”
“Right. And I don’t know the Pope’s Catholic, either.”
“I heard that he used to live with some kid but something happened and they broke up a few months ago.”
“What do you mean, some kid?”
“I mean a kid. Like a teenager.”
“You mean the blond he brought to Vance’s party last summer? The one who’s the new intern down in the art department?”
“Right, him. They broke up? Kinney was down there just this morning and he seemed fine—well, as fine as he ever is.”
“I heard that Kinney got dumped.”
“How the fuck would you hear something like that? You two boys drinking buddies now?”
“Shit no. I have a neighbor who’s a fag and we got talking in the laundry room a few weeks ago. He said this kid had been living with Kinney for like a year or two and then one night at some gay bar or something he up and leaves with some other guy and that was that.”
“Poor Brian. He must have been heart broken.”
“If he had a heart.”
“Don’t be an asshole. That would hurt anyone.”
“Oh, and you think you’re the one to make him feel better?”
“Maybe.”
“Lady, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“Excuse me…Aren’t you people paid to work here?”
“Sorry, Mr. Vance.”
* * *
“Brian? I hate to even bring this up, but did you know that there’s a lot of gossip going on about you?”
“Like I give a shit.”
“Well, maybe you should. This is about you and being gay and Justin and you breaking up.”
“…What sort of shit have you heard?”
“Well, just that, really. Somehow someone knew someone who knew something—you know, the usual thing. Anyway, it’s making the rounds.”
“Anyone really care?”
“Probably not, but you might want to say something to Harris if you have the chance. He’s the one who’s spreading it.”
“Yeah, thanks…he’s on the Office Max account, isn’t he?”
“He’s the junior exec.”
“Tell him I want to see him after lunch.”
* * *
“You wanted to go over the story boards, Mr. Kinney?”
“Not really. I want to know what the fuck you think you know about my personal life.”
“I, well—I thought, I heard, I mean that, um…I’m sorry.”
“You heard that I’m a fag and that I was living with a teenager and that he walked out on me but now we’re back together. Oh, and he’s working here now. That about it?”
“Ah…”
“Excuse me? I didn’t catch that.”
“Someone I know said something along those lines, sir.”
“And evidently you felt that the way to handle this piece of alleged information was to announce it to any asshole who would listen. Sound about right?”
“Well, I…”
“You’re fired.”
“Mr. Kinney, please—my wife is pregnant and we need my payche…”
“Get the fuck out of my office, get the fuck out of this company. You’ve admitted to spreading malicious rumors about a partner of this firm and you’ve fried your own ass.”
“Please, I’m sor…”
“Be out of the building within the hour. I’ll call down to personnel to have them mail your last check to your home.”
“Mr. Kinney. Please don’t do this. Please.”
“…You can go now.”
* * *
“Did you hear what that prick did? He fired Jamie just because of a little water cooler gossip.”
“He’s a bastard, you know that.”
“You know his wife is pregnant? I think they have another kid, too. What a shit.”
“OK, Kinney could have cut him some slack, but is anyone surprised that he’s pissed off? Who the Hell wouldn’t be?”
“Even if it’s true?”
“It’s his personal life. It’s no one’s business.”
“You’re defending that shit?”
“I’m saying that he had a good reason to be angry.”
“For once.”
“Even if it’s true?”
“And how the Hell would you know?”
“I know I saw that blond kid getting off at Kinney’s floor when everyone else was supposed to be home and Kinney was working late.”
“Kinney works late a lot. That’s how he gets so much shit done. He takes stuff home almost every night, too.”
“Yeah, whatever. So I noticed that the kid went straight to Kinney’s office.”
“You followed him?”
“…I had business in that part of the building.”
“Sure you did.”
“So the kid knocks and walks in, leaving the door open. Kinney asked him what he wanted and he told Kinney, flat out said that he thought that Kinney should take him back. I guess that the kid’s ass had been fired, too. I couldn’t fucking believe it. They had some back and forth and it was all fucking double entendres, you know? They were practically fucking each other verbally.”
“Yeah? Then what happened?”
“Kinney said something about how the kid would have to work long hours into the night, under him.”
“No shit.”
“And the kid said he understood then they closed the door, but you know how those offices have that frosted glass for walls? The lights were on inside and I could sorta see what was going on.”
“And?”
“They went at it for over two hours then left together, all friendly and holding hands and shit. Infuckingcredible.”
“You watched Kinney screw some kid for a couple of hours? That’s perv, you asshole.”
“No, what they did was perv.”
“Goddamnit—I’ve got to go over copy with him at four. How the Hell am I going to be able to look him in the face?”
“Looking him in the face is fine—it’s looking anywhere else that will get you in trouble.”
“Asshole.”
* * *
“Brian? I understand that you saw fit to fire one of our employees this morning. Would you mind telling me why?”
“Because he was spreading malicious rumors about me to the other employees which would have undercut my authority here.”
“Might I ask what rumors he was spreading?”
“That I was dumped by my teenaged lover in a gay bar of some sort.”
“Is it true?”
“My personal life is no one’s business, Gardner. You know that.”
“I agree, but you must admit that your personal life seems to be significantly more interesting than most of the folks who work here.”
“That’s their fucking problem.”
“Do you expect any repercussions to come of this?”
“Repercussions? Like what?”
“I don’t know, perhaps a lawsuit for wrongful dismissal or something along those lines.”
“I can’t see why. The man admitted to me that he had been discussing what supposedly happened with several of the other employees and that he had no first hand knowledge of anything concerning this.”
“I see.”
“Anything else?”
“Are you set for that pitch to Home Depot tomorrow morning?”
“Yes.”
“Brian? Did it happen?”
“What, my getting dumped by my teenaged lover? That’s none of your fucking business.”
“Quite. Oh, and please be sure to pick up after yourself if you find yourself entertaining in your office after hours, would you? The cleaning staff asked me to pass on the request.”
* * *
“So what are we supposed to put on the unemployment claim, Mr. Kinney?”
“That he’s an asshole.”
“That’s not a acceptable reason for dismissal.”
“Fine. He was found to be spreading malicious gossip about a senior member of management, which he admitted doing.”
“What did he say?”
“What does it matter?”
“Well, if he contests this, we have to know what happened.”
“Fine. He told some other employees that I was dumped by my teenaged lover.”
“…Is it true?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, if it’s true, it’s not gossip.”
“My personal life isn’t the issue here.”
“Maybe not, but he may claim that you’re just angry that something that’s common knowledge is true and that you’ve taken your anger out on him.”
“Screw that. There were other employees who witnessed what he said, he admitted it to me. What else do you need?”
“Mr. Kinney, you’re not going to confirm or deny, are you?”
“You got it.”
“We may have a problem…”
“Fire his ass and make it stick.”
* * *
“So Brian, you’re confidant that you can have that proposal worked up by Monday?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem, Gardner.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at the staff meeting then.”
“Mr. Kinney? Mr. Thatcher is here to interview you.”
“What’s that about?”
“A magazine. They called this morning.”
“And they want to talk to you?”
“Hard to believe, isn’t it?”
“I mean, what are you being interviewed about?”
“Being a queer in the workplace.”
“…And the name of the magazine would be?”
“Businessweek.”
“Quite. You wouldn’t mind if I sat in, would you?”
“Why would you want to do that, Gardner?”
“…Well, if you don’t think it’s necessary….”
“I can’t think why it would be.”
“…I’ll leave you to it then.”
* * *
“Mr. Kinney...May I call you Brian? How long have you been working here at Vanguard?”
“I started out with the Ryder Agency right after college, about a year ago it was bought out by Gardner Vance. I was promoted to Partner and retained. In answer, I’ve been here for about ten years.”
“And I gather that you’re the only partner other than the owner?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re the number two person in the firm. Do you believe that your sexual orientation had affected your career?”
“Other than possibly being the subject of more gossip than some of the others, no. I’ve always preferred to keep my personal life to myself.”
“Last year you were involved in a gay bashing incident involving a young man who was identified, somewhat salaciously, as your teenaged lover. Could you comment how a high profile case like that affected you in the workplace?”
“There was no professional effect. I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m gay so there was no revelation.”
“You didn’t testify in court. Why was that?”
“I was questioned by the police and I also gave a deposition. I was told that if I were to testify it would cloud the issue of the actual assault and neither side wanted to get into mudslinging since it could have become a sympathy angle.”
“There was some speculation that since you and the young man are both exceptionally good looking men, that could have worked against the defense if the jury felt sorry for the breakup of true love.”
“I think that’s bullshit and I’d like to drop this. It’s not relevant.”
“Could you tell me if you and the young man who was attacked are still in contact?”
“I don’t comment on my personal life.”
“Has your sexual orientation ever interfered in your business, either positively or negatively?”
“Clients care about their bottom line. As long as I deliver the work they’ve commissioned and it’s effective, I’ve never had one care who I’m sleeping with.”
“Is there a chance that you’ve been excluded from pitching an account because of your orientation?”
“Not that I’ve ever been aware of. This is business. Who I sleep with doesn’t matter any more than who the CEO of some company is with.”
“So your position is that your being gay has no real effect on your career?”
“…No more or less than a straights personal life would. Mr. Thatcher, I’m curious to know if you have a point with this?”
“Just that you’re an openly gay man working in the corporate world. I’m wondering what impact your sexuality had on you work life. Have you had any incidents deriving from that fact?”
“From being gay? No, not really, other than being hit on occasionally by clients. I may have a little more gossip about me that some of the others, but nothing of any real consequence.”
“Have you ever accepted an invitation from a client and has that ever affected whether or not you got an account?”
“I once walked out on a client who propositioned me. We didn’t get the account.”
“Would you if you’d engaged in some sort of relations with this person?”
“Yes. I think we would have.”
“Did you follow up with it? File harassment charges or anything like that?”
“No, I saw no point in it. We were both adults and we both knew the score.”
“Are you in a relationship now?”
“Yes, and that’s all I’ll say about it.”
* * *
“Mr. Kinney? Your assistant asked me to bring these up to you for your approval.”
“Thank you. Just put them down here.”
“Brian—the door is open.”
“So? The office closed over an hour ago. Afraid that someone will see us?”
“At least close the door—Brian!”
“I thought you liked it when I did that.”
“…Yeah…”
“And that.”
“…The door.”
“Fuck the door.”
“Fuck you, close the door.”
“Fucking princess.”
“You like fucking princesses.”
“Fine, close the fucking door, princess.”
* * *
“You know, have you ever noticed the looks that the new intern—you know, the blond—throws at Kinney whenever they’re within thirty feet of one another?”
“Sure, I’ve noticed, so the kid has a crush on him, what’s the big deal?”
“You think the kid is gay, too?”
“Well—yeah. I think so—doesn’t mean Kinney is into jailbait.”
“Yeah, and it doesn’t mean that he’d turn down a freebie if it was offered to him, either.”
“C’mon, he’s not stupid.”
“You always have this short term memory problem? The name ‘Kip Thomas’ ring a bell?”
“Those charges were dropped about two days after the asshole filed them and he fell off the face of the earth,”
“Well, where there’s smoke…”
“Thomas was an asshole.”
“Sure he was, and one Kinney had personal knowledge of.”
“You better put a lid on shit like that. He fired Jamie, you know.”
“Jamie was stupid.”
“Uh-huh. Keep your mouth shut. You know Kinney has a talent for showing up when you least expect him.”
“Yeah, I hear that’s not his only talent.”
“And where have you heard my talents lie, Alex?”
“…Mr. Kinney. I didn’t hear—I mean, you know, we were just talking.”
“…”
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I mean, everyone knows you’re the best in the company and that Kip Thomas was an asshole.”
“…”
“…No one thought that you’d ever do anything like—what he accused you of.”
“But evidently you seem to think it acceptable to think I’m a chicken hawk.”
“Um…ah…I don’t know what that is…”
“A fag who likes little boys.”
“No, sir, Mr. Kinney, I’d never suggest that you’d ever…”
“…”
“Honest, I don’t think…”
“From now on you might want to think.”
* * *
“Hey Brian, are you finished?”
“Almost, as soon as I log off.”
“Work OK today?”
“Fine. You want to get something for dinner?”
“Sure, anything. Chinese?”
“Thai.”
“Japanese.”
“Done.”
“I heard a rumor about you today.”
“Oh?”
“I heard that you like them young.”
“…Lucky for you.”
“…Yeah, lucky for me…”
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