FAMILY VACATION

Chapter 9

The remainder of the Taylor and Kinney family’s vacation went fairly peacefully, other than a few moments of minimal drama. For example, Justin and Brian participated in high level negotiations to see who would not have to take Gus on Space Mountain. Justin lost that battle, but in exchange Brian had to change Jessica’s diapers for the remainder of the day and ride It’s A Small World with the entire family.

The flight home was also peaceful. Both children slept soundly for nearly the entire flight -- another added bonus to traveling in first class, it’s much quieter.

By the time they returned to Britin, everyone was duly worn out and seemed quite satisfied with their adventures.

Justin noted that Brian was particularly quiet as he listened to Gus reiterate how thrilled he was to have enjoyed each and every activity in the different parks. Brian noted that Justin was fairly subdued as he handled Jessica, putting her to bed and remaining in the room longer than usual, staring at the sleeping baby in the crib.

Neither seemed willing, or able, to express their thoughts, and yet there seemed to be a void that was building with each moment of uncomfortable silence.

The two went to their room, after putting Gus to bed, with the focus solely on unpacking the remainder of their luggage. They began to divide their clothes into those that needed to be cleaned or could be put away when they heard sounds coming from the baby monitor in Jessica’s room.

“You know, Jess, I thought it would be a real drag having you on this vacation.” Brian smiled silently at Justin as they listened in on Gus’ rather one-sided conversation. “I mean, after all, you can’t do anything but play with your toys and talk baby-talk.”

“Brian, do you think he’ll wake her?”

“Don’t worry, Sunshine. She’s so tired that even if she awoke briefly, she’d be back to sleep in no time.”

Justin nodded and they continued to listen. “The thing is, you didn’t get in the way at all. Even when you got that stupid ear infection, Dad and I still got to have fun. Guess what -- I used to get those, too, when I was a little kid. They suck. Whoops, don’t tell Dad and Daddy I said that.” There was a short pause. “I hope we can go on more family vacations. Maybe someday we can bring JR with us. I know she doesn’t really belong to either of our dads, but she’s still our sister.” Gus made some noises. It appeared that he was going to leave the room but stopped. “Oh, and Jess, I just want you to know, I’m glad you’re my little sister. I thought one was enough, but you’re okay and you make our dads really happy... and me, too.”

Justin and Brian heard the door creak closed, and they looked at each other. Brian put down the clothing he was hanging in the closet and walked over to Justin placing his arms gently on his husband’s shoulders. “Sunshine, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I just don’t seem to know how.”

Justin gazed into Brian’s eyes. “Me, too.”

“You go first.”

Justin nodded and leaned into Brian’s chest, holding him around the waist as he spoke. “I was really scared when I learned Jessica was mine. I mean I love her, but when we decided to look into having a child of our own, it was just an idea. We were thinking about it one minute, and the next she was here, ours -- a reality.”

Justin then let go and turned away as he continued. “The truth is, I wasn’t sure that I was capable of taking care of her. Fuck, I had no time to learn to be a father.”

“You’ve been an amazing father to Gus.”

“Thank you, but I think you know this is different. Gus tells us what he needs or wants. This responsibility felt much bigger. I kept thinking of all the different ways I could fuck it up, and when she got sick, I figured it was something I did or didn’t do.”

“I had a feeling.”

“Brian, I don’t want to fuck her up. I want to be a good father, someone she can trust to always be there -- even if she says something I don’t want to hear.”

“Like she’s straight?” Justin smiled at Brian’s little attempt at humor.

“More like if she flunks a class or comes to tell us she’s pregnant when she’s still a teen. I just don’t want to...”

Brian then came up behind Justin and held him as he kissed his neck, “You don’t want to repeat the mistakes that put a permanent divide between you and Craig.” Justin nodded, unable to say another word. “You won’t. You’re not him, thank fucking God, and you’ll never be like him. Justin Taylor, you are the finest man I know.”

Justin turned around and clung to Brian allowing his words to melt some of the insecurity he was feeling. The two kissed, soft gentle kisses. Then Justin, once again, looked into Brian’s eyes, “Now, are you going to tell me what’s been on your mind?”

“Can’t get anything past you, can I?”

“No, and I hope we never grow far enough apart and miss seeing when the other is preoccupied with important thoughts -- thoughts that should be shared.”

“I keep wondering when the other shoe will fall.”

“That’s an interesting cliche, but what are you referring to?”

“This,” Brian swept his arm out over the entire room.”

“You’ve lost me. We’ll get everything straightened out once the housekeeper comes in on Tuesday.”

“Not this shit here in our room. This life, this world we’ve created.”

“Our family?”

“That’s right,” Brian whispered.

“We have a wonderful family.”

“But for how long? How long will it take for me to fuck things up?”

Justin knew exactly where this was all coming from. “Let me give you a piece of advice a wise man recently told me.” He paused to make sure Brian was still looking directly at him, “ You’re not them, thank fucking God, and you’ll never be like them. Brian Kinney, you are the finest man I know.” Justin smirked, but the tone of voice was honest and sincere.

“Twat.” Brian grabbed Justin around the waist and pulled him close. The two held each other silently for a brief time, yet it seemed as if they were sharing the strength they could only acquire from each other.

“Brian?”

“Yes?”

“We’ll make sure we always stay close to our children and to one another.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because we both know what can happen when we don’t.”

“You know, I never thought I could stand spending this much time with my family, especially doing child-friendly activities.”

Justin kissed Brian’s chest through his t-shirt. “I’m not sure that I was convinced either of us could until we did it. And we were fucking good at it, too.”

“You bet your ass we were, Sunshine.” Brian squeezed Justin’s ass cheeks to accentuate his point.

“Well, our children are asleep in their beds. Maybe it’s time to enjoy some non-child-friendly activities.”

“I like the way you think.”

“Well, I am a genius.”

Brian began to unbutton Justin’s jeans, “Yes, you are. Now, let’s see what else you’re brilliant at accomplishing.”

“Happy to oblige. Ahhhh...” Justin’s words were silenced as Brian began to suck on his cock in earnest.

The remainder of the unpacking would have to wait until morning as Brian and Justin enjoyed the bliss of grown-up time that frequently followed family time.

The only coherent words that could be heard from their room...

“I love you, Brian.”

“I know... I love you, too.”


[The End - for now]

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