THE ENDS REQUIRE THE MEANS

Chapter 5 – History Haunts

After she left the diner, Lindsay headed for Melanie’s office with the promise to call Brian and Justin when she was through.

Brian decided he’d had enough for one day and would be useless and more vicious towards his staff than usual if he went to Kinnetik. He accompanied Justin home.

Justin was particularly upset by the entire morning and all that was uncovered, so as soon as they returned to Britin he immediately retreated into his studio. Brian left him to his own devices for two hours then decided that since they’d be hearing from Lindsay soon it would be prudent to resolve whatever was eating at Justin.

Brian knocked on the studio door. Justin hadn’t made it a practice to lock the room, but Brian wanted Justin to know that his space was respected.

“Come in.”

Brian looked around. The back of Justin’s easel was facing him as he entered; this allowed the light to stream in on the canvas. Justin was constantly moving the easel around the room depending on how he wanted to utilize the huge windows that dominated one wall of the studio.

Justin stopped painting and looked at Brian with an almost pained look on his face.

“So, you want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“I’m not sure you want to know.” Justin lowered his eyes to the painting. The color in his face drained as he looked at the work that he’d been frenetically painting for the past two hours. “It’s not a pleasant view.”

“I figured. How about trusting my ability to accept and understand whatever I see?”

Justin nodded and moved away from the canvas to allow Brian access. Brian walked around to the opposite side of the room and was almost shocked by the pain emanating from the piece.

Brian saw the background as a portion of the interior entrance way in the loft. The center of the painting was a perfectly proportioned view of the door, but the surreal part that was so jarring was the main focus. The loft door was slamming shut on a disproportionately large bouquet of red roses. Blood was dripping from the thorns and pooling on the floor. It was a frightening image and caused Brian to physically shudder.

“Justin, this is a fucking angry painting. I don’t mean to treat you like Gus, but can you tell me about it. It’s giving me mixed signals.”

With a pained smile Justin began, “When I left you it was for pretty flowers and pretty words. I was foolish and directed my needs into very tangible components, forgetting all the love I received from you every day.” Brian nodded, encouraging Justin to go on. “When Ethan betrayed me and then lied, it was a besotted trick that gave him away with a bouquet of long stemmed red roses. I ripped those roses, and my hands, to shreds in anger and remorse for believing his bullshit and destroying what we had.”

“I see. Remember, we both needed that time to grow up and learn what was important. We reunited better than ever, with a greater understanding of each other’s needs.”

“I know, but it all came rising to the surface today because of fucking Lindsay and Melanie. Now their fucked up relationship could destroy our chances to be real fathers to Gus and that’s killing me inside. I feel the blood and pain all over again.”

“We’ll figure something out; but I won’t lose my son twice. I signed him away once, but I won’t lose the opportunity to correct that mistake in judgment.” Brian drew a paint splattered Justin in for a hug.

“Brian, your clothes.”

“I don’t give a shit.” And the two kissed passionately, washing away the pain of the morning, when the phone began to ring.

Brian picked up the studio extension and placed it on the speaker setting so he and Justin could sit on the studio’s futon while listening to Lindsay’s explanation of her interaction with Melanie.

“Brian, Justin, it was bizarre. She was almost too calm. She said she was talking about the shared custody with some of her colleagues at lunch on Monday, after she’d calmed down a bit. Apparently a group of them, from three or four different firms, meet at a restaurant not far from her office, on a regular basis.”

“And…” Brian was beginning to get impatient. He’d been waiting a long time for this call.

“And, most of her colleagues suggested that from your reputation during the past three years, that you’ve been a consistently supportive pillar of the community.” Brian snorted and Justin laughed out loud.

“I know Brian. Mel said she nearly fell out of her chair at the restaurant, but when she thought about it there was nothing she could point to that would say otherwise.”

“So what the fuck happened?”

“Brandon Connelly happened. Apparently, he’s become part of the lunch soiree. When he heard Mel’s story and she shared who the subjects were, Brandon, the new super-lawyer in town, told her she was out of her mind to let you near her son. He convinced her that she would not only regret the decision but that it would damage Gus. That he’d be able to convince any judge that you, and in turn Justin, were unfit parents.”

“That fucker.”

“You said it Brian, because after his persuasive argument, Mel decided to fight but only if he took the helm. He told her that he looked forward to defeating you in a courtroom. He called it his playground.”

Justin added, “So she didn’t know about Sam?”

“Oh, she knew. She confessed that she’s known for a couple of weeks but decided that, and I quote, ‘You can fuck whoever you want as long as you leave me the fuck out of it and don’t hurt Gus in the process. You’re not worth my time. There are real lesbians out there who appreciate what that means.’”

Justin looked at Brian. “Wow, Lindsay, that’s harsh. Are you okay?”

“You know, Justin, I am. It’s about time I start facing who I am…all of me.”

“Linds, I’ll let you start dealing with who you are with your therapist, but right now I have more important things to think about.”

“Thanks a lot, Brian.”

“I’m referring to Gus.”

“Oh, sorry. I’ll talk to you both tomorrow.”

“Bye, Lindsay, and thanks for getting back to us. By the way, why did it take so long?”

“Mel made me wait an hour to see her.”

Brian smirked, “The passive-aggressive cunt lawyer strikes again.”

“Bye, Brian.” With that both sides disconnected.

Brian and Justin spent the next few minutes in total silence. Each pondering what Lindsay had reported.

Finally Justin broke the silence, “Brian, what are you thinking?”

“I’m not sure you want to know, Sunshine.”

“Should I be concerned?” Justin put his arm around Brian, whose suit was already destroyed by paint earlier.

“I’m not sure, but there is one thing I do know, it’s time to set up my own luncheon meeting.”

“With Melanie?”

“No, her lawyer.” Justin nodded his understanding but was troubled by thoughts of where this could lead.

“Are you allowed to do that?”

“If I just happen to bump into him, it should be just fine…of course I’ll make sure it’s a day he’s dining alone.”

Justin smirked but then his face took on a serious look, “Brian, I know you won the bet. Is he angry because you won or because you fucked him when he didn’t want to be?” Justin whispered, afraid of what the answer might be.

Brian looked at Justin’s beautiful, paint-smudged face and rested his hands behind his head and neck. “He’s angry because I won and then didn’t want to fuck him.”

“After all that you didn’t fuck him? Why the fuck not?” Justin couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Brian snorted at the irony of Justin’s question, “One, because I have no interest in fucking an unwilling or uninterested trick, even back then, and two, and much more important, he wasn’t you.”

“I love you, Brian. Be careful, meeting with this asshole. Now that Mel’s hired him it could be risky.”

“There are some risks worth taking Justin.” Justin nodded and leaned into Brian’s chest and held him tight.

 

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