JESSICA

Chapter 6

While the children were playing in the park Michael took over as the entertainment leader and played with them. Gus and JR were giggling as Michael chased them throughout the playscape and up and down the slide.

Justin held Jessica and took pleasure in the fact that he actually heard her giggle a bit. She had just recently started making the wonderful noise known as laughing and he seemed to thrive on hearing her tiny utterances.

Mel, Ben and Brian sat on a nearby bench and watched peacefully.

“You know Justin’s a natural with that baby. He looks so animated when he’s playing and talking with her,” Mel commented.

“I imagine when she leaves he’ll be putting in overtime in his studio to capture all his memories of the week.”

“That’s very perceptive of you Brian. You really are evolving.”

“Not evolving Professor, just remaining fully aware of my partner, husband, whatever, and all his habits.”

“Well, I think this time he’s not going to be able to exorcise that baby just by painting her. Shit! If I’d known just how great he was with kids, I might have chosen him to be JR’s father.”

“Bite your fucking tongue. He WAS too young then.”

Ben looked at Justin and Jessica again, “Brian, have you two ever thought of having a kid of your own -- to raise, or help raise, from birth.”

“No, and don’t you two put any ridiculous ideas into his head. The last thing we need is another kid. We have Gus. That’s enough.”

Mel snorted, “For you... or for Justin. Have you even asked him how he feels about never fathering a child?”

Brian looked back and forth, avoiding eye contact with anyone. “No, I never brought it up.”

“Why?”

“Why, Ben, I’ll tell you why...because I’m not sure I want to hear the fucking answer.”

“Would it be so terrible to have another child -- to let Justin experience the joy of fatherhood? I’d give anything to be able to father a child. I’m just glad that Michael has JR and was more than happy to let me assume the role as a co-parent, and that Hunter was willing to let us adopt him.”

Mel looked at Brian, understanding his discomfort and realizing where it stemmed from, “Look Brian, you had a fucked up family, but you’ve become an amazing parent, shocked as I am to admit that.” Brian glared at her. “Don’t you think it’s time to explore changing history if that’s what both of you want. Look at Justin, he’s a fucking natural.”

Brian snorted, “I used to say that about him, too, but it wasn’t regarding parenthood.”

The three laughed. Brian wasn’t sure how he wanted to proceed. One thing was for sure, he never wanted Justin to live with regrets of what might have been. They’d both learned that compromise was the key to a good relationship. Maybe it was time for Brian to demonstrate that he knew the meaning of the word.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After a very full afternoon, the three returned to Britin. Jessica had fallen asleep the minute the car’s engine turned over and continued to sleep peacefully when placed in the crib. Brian turned on the monitor and headed downstairs to join Justin on the patio.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Brian.” Justin stood up and kissed him and then they both returned to their oversized chaise lounges.

“Did you enjoy the day?”

“Yeah, it was great visiting with everyone and the kids had a great time. I’m glad Gus got to meet Jessica and seemed comfortable with her.”

“He did, didn’t he?”

“Gus is a great big brother. Look how well he played with JR at the park. He never complained when she couldn’t do something. He just moved on to the next thing.”

“You were pretty good with Daphne’s kid, too. She actually laughed, or what could pass as a laugh for a kid that young.”

Justin smiled as he got up to get soft drinks for both he and Brian and returned to the patio. The two sat down side by side on their chaises. “It was kind of fun. Who knew it was so hard to keep a baby entertained. But I guess I liked it.” Taking a sip of his drink and replacing it on the table he then picked up his sketch pad.

“Have you thought about having one of your own?” Brian bit his lip and turned away slightly, concerned about the answer.

“I thought we already had one of our own.”

“We do, but I think you know what I mean. Have you ever thought about fathering a child?”

Justin snorted, “I probably have from the sperm bank. I’ll just never know who he or she is. But I know what you’re talking about.” He put the sketch pad back down and took one more sip of his drink. “I guess if I was totally honest with myself I’d admit to really wanting to have a child that I fathered in my life, but that’s not going to happen so I try not to think about it. Although, I have to admit, having Jessica around has certainly reawakened that desire. I figure since Daph lives so close to us and she isn’t with anyone I’ll just spend as much time with Jessica as I can to get it out of my system.”

Brian moved from his chaise to the end of Justin’s and took his hands in his own. “Justin, I’m not sure borrowing someone else’s kid on random occasions will get it out of your system.”

“Brian, I know you’re done with babies and feel that our lives are complete with Gus, and I basically feel the same way. Why are you bringing all this up anyway?”

Brian brushed his fingers through Justin’s hair and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss. “Because I don’t run this family. We are equal spouses and you deserve a say in major decisions as much as I do. Because I don’t want you to feel like I cheated you out of something this important and because I fucking love you enough to look into the idea of having a kid that we raise together.”

Justin stared at Brian and gently placed his hands on his cheeks and drew him in for a much longer and passionate kiss. “That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I don’t want you to sacrifice everything you want for me, either.”

“This sounds like a familiar conversation -- one that nearly separated us for an indefinite period of time. I think we’ve learned more about working together and compromise not to mistake it for total sacrifice.”

Justin kissed Brian again and then nodded. “I see your point. I’ve never thought this seriously about being a father because I wasn’t sure that opportunity would ever arise. Do you really think we should look into it? I mean finding a woman to carry a kid with my sperm.”

Looking into Justin’s eyes, Brian could see the anticipation and pleasure that the thought of this move might bring about. “Sunshine, there’s no law that says we can’t look into this.”

Justin smiled, a single tear streaming down his cheek. “Let’s wait until Daphne’s back and Jessica is gone to really start investigating what all this would take. Who knows, maybe a few more days with an infant and I’ll have had my fill.”

“Okay. We’ll wait a bit, but then if you still want to move forward that’ll be the plan.”

“I love you, Brian Kinney.”

“Now that’s something I can always accept.” Brian took Justin’s hand and led him to a shaded part of the patio. He removed a cushion from one of the chaises and placed it on the ground.

Kneeling on the mat he pulled Justin down to kneel opposite him and the two held each other and kissed deeply and passionately. Running their hands up and down each other’s backs and shoulders the kiss never broke apart. The intensity of their kisses saying so much more than words could ever express.

Soon Brian lay Justin all the way down and removed his t-shirt and shorts, and then removed his own.

Justin spread his legs apart to make room for Brian. Brian placed two fingers in Justin’s mouth and Justin sucked on them and allowed his saliva to flow knowing that this would be the lube for this intimate moment.

Brian soon had one finger and then another inside Justin, maneuvering and moving in and out, opening his hole and prodding Justin’s prostate alternately.

It wasn’t long before Justin began to moan, “More, please more, all of you.”

“Sunshine, you always have all of me,” and with that Brian entered Justin in one smooth motion pushing slowly in all the way until his cock pressed against Justin’s prostate.

“Ahhh, yes, oh god yes!” Justin began to repeat these phrases as Brian began to slowly pull out almost all the way and then push in again.

With a rhythm that the two knew by heart, and yet seemed new and fresh every time, Justin began to squeeze Brian’s cock as he thrust all the way in, pushing back into each of Brian’s inward thrusts and at the same time held Brian close so they could continue to kiss each other’s mouths, necks, faces and anywhere that could be reached.

The pace was slow and the intensity built more and more until without warning Justin arched his back yelling, “Brian....” as he came all over their chests. Just a mere few seconds later Brian followed suit, filling Justin.

When he was finished he covered Justin with his exhausted body and whispered in his ear, “I love you more than anything and I would do anything to make you happy, don’t ever forget that.” He paused to catch his breath, “We’re a team and a team works together to bring happiness to each other and then the whole team is better for it.”

Justin held Brian tighter than he thought he ever had before and started to shake, understanding the depth of meaning behind the thoughts Brian had just shared. The two remained there holding each other for what seemed like hours, gathering strength from each other and knowing that the present may have just taken them in a surprisingly new direction for the future.

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