It’s All Relative

 Chapter 3

Debbie was rushing around the diner, making sure all her customers got their food in a reasonable amount of time, or at least while it was still lukewarm, when she noted the bell ringing announcing another hungry patron.

“Hi, honey, have a seat.” Cracking her gum, she pointed to one of the stools along the counter as all the booths were taken.

“Thank you,” the young woman answered politely.

“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Debbie looked at the woman, trying to figure out why she seemed so familiar.

“That would be lovely; I’d like that.”

Debbie brought over the pot and poured a cup. “Are you from around here? I don’t remember serving you before, but then again, I’ve served so many I’m bound to forget a few.”

Debbie was uncomfortable, noting how the woman kept staring at her. She seemed unable to keep her eyes off the flashy redhead. “I just moved back here. My family moved away when I was a child, but...”

“Now you’re back. Pittsburgh, especially this area, seems to have a special hold on people.”

The woman forced a half-smile. “You might say that.”

“Well, honey, it’s good to have you here.” Debbie put the coffee pot back and turned around one more time. “You got a name, honey? I’m Debbie.” She pointed to her name tag and laughed. “But, I guess that’s kind of obvious.”

“It is a bit obvious.” The woman’s voice was quiet and steady. “My name’s Helen.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Helen. I hope we’ll see you around more than once, now that you’re back in town.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be seeing quite a bit of me.”

“Oh?” Intrigued, Debbie was about to question Helen’s response when the door chime ushered in more diners. Debbie looked up and smiled. “Where the fuck have you two been?”

“Fucking. Any more foolish questions?” Brian smirked as he walked up to Debbie and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “And how are you on this lovely day?”

“Just terrific. I was invited to dinner with the Obamas, but I had to turn them down because I’ve been neglecting my QVC shopping.”

Brian snorted.

“Hey, Deb, it’s good to see you.” Justin gave Debbie a hug that she returned enthusiastically.

“Deb, watch it. I don’t want you to snap a rib on him. His ass may have great padding but that’s it.”

Debbie started to wag her finger at Brian and then squeezed his cheeks and gave him a kiss instead, leaving her lipstick mark on his face.

“Sunshine, shall we join the boys? And can you grab a napkin, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I’ve taken to kissing women... or drag queens.”

Justin shook his head and made his way to the back table where Michael and Ben were already eating their dinner.

Debbie heard the cook ring his bell and delivered several dinners to a variety of tables, then returned to her spot behind the counter while Kiki took Brian and Justin’s order.

“Care to order anything, honey?”

“I’ll have a grilled cheese and more coffee, please.”

“Good choice. The cook seems to have mastered the art of not burning those.”

Helen smiled more genuinely. “Tell me, who are those two men who just walked in? You seemed to know them well.”

“Know them well -- I practically raised both of them when they were each in their teen years. That’s Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor.”

“Are they a couple?”

“A couple! Why they’re married with two kids.”

“Married? It’s not legal in this state.”

Debbie put her hands on her hips. “That’s just a bullshit formality that will change. More and more states are approving equal rights for all citizens, including gays and lesbians.”

“But what about the kids? Did they adopt them?”

“Brian and Justin have each had a kid with their best female friends. Justin has guardianship of Brian’s son and now Brian is in the process of getting a third party adoption for Justin’s daughter.”

“That sounds all neat and tidy.”

“Hey, Deb, when did a side of fries become grease with two soggy potatoes? It looks like someone served me two limp dicks.” Justin smacked Brian’s arm.

“Don’t you ever take your mind off cock?” Debbie shook her head, smiling all the while at Brian’s antics.

“Is there any other subject that’s more important?”

“Not that I know of.”

“See, Deb, you said it yourself.” Brian dangled a French fry in the air and then sucked on it as if giving it a blow job. “Now can I get some fries -- plural?”

“Keep your pants on, at least until you’re alone with Sunshine, and I’ll get you a plate of stiff ones.” Debbie laughed at her own joke.

“Now you’re talking, Deb. I’ll be waiting with bated breath and an empty stomach.”

“Well, if you ate more of your protein off a plate, you wouldn’t always be starving by the time you got here.”

Deb spotted Helen’s grilled cheese at the pick-up window and grabbed it before the cook could ring his bell.

“Here’s your dinner. Enjoy.”

Helen leaned in and gestured for Deb to come closer so she could whisper. “Uhm, Debbie... can I ask you one more question?”

“Sure, honey.”

“Is he always so crude?”

“Around here, everyone’s crude -- it’s part of the lingo.”

“I had that feeling.” Debbie laughed at Helen’s remark.

The dinner rush started to slow and Brian, Justin, Michael and Ben finished their meals. The four were chatting over coffee when Debbie had a free moment and came by to visit.

“So, boys, what’s shaking?”

“The fly in my coffee.”

Justin snorted, “You’re probably on a sugar high from all the shit you dump in your cup.”

“Thank you for the health tip. That’s great coming from the king of carbo-loading.”

“I can’t help it if I have a youthful, speedy metabolism.”

Ben laughed, “Better watch out, Justin, at some point gravity will start rearing its ugly head. Even Michael’s begun eating less carbs and more health food.”

Brian sneered at Michael in fun, “Traitor.”

“Well, gentleman, and I use the term loosely, since my hot blond and I don’t have any rugrats this Friday, how about a trip to Woody’s? I haven’t beaten you two at pool in a while.”

“You know you might actually lose, Brian.” Michael smirked while snuggling closer to Ben.

“Mikey, history rarely changes so dramatically in less than a hundred years.”

“Fuck off.”

“No thank you, but I might just take Justin into the men’s room at Woody’s for a return engagement if we win.”

“You’d take him in there if you won or lost.”

“Now you’re getting it, Michael -- history doesn’t change that easily.”

“Asshole.”

“That’s me.”

“Now, Justin, should we practice our celebration fucking here or in the privacy of our own home?”

“Brian.” Justin used his warning tone, albeit tempered with a smile.

“You boys need to have a permanent back room that follows you wherever you go.”

“Well, Deb, if we ever lose all our money and become trailer trash, we just might have one on wheels.”

Debbie noted Helen preparing to leave. The woman left a healthy tip and started walking towards the group at the back booth.

“So, Helen, will we see you again?”

“Playing both sides, Deb? I thought you were pathetically hetero.”

Debbie stuck up her middle finger at Brian.

“I can guarantee you’ll see me again.” She turned towards Brian and Justin. “Are you Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor?”

Justin looked up, “Yes, that’s us.”

“I’d like to introduce myself.” Helen shook hands with both men.

“Now that you’ve met us, what the fuck do you want?”

“Well, Mr. Kinney, let me make that quite clear. My name is Helen Martin. I’m the social worker who’ll be reviewing your petition to adopt Jessica Chanders Taylor.”

Everyone was silent except Debbie, “Holy shit.” She paused, glaring at the woman standing opposite her. “You’re Helen Martin.”

“Yes.”

“Now I know where the fuck I know you from.”

“I thought you might catch on sooner or later.” As Helen turned to leave she added, “Mr. Kinney, I have your cell number. I’ll be in touch later today to make a time for us to meet... with you too, Mr. Taylor.” She waved, “Have a nice day.”

After Helen walked out the door, Brian banged his fist on the table. “Fuck!”

“Ma, how do you know Helen Martin?”

“Michael, you’re never going to believe it.”


[TBC]

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