The Gus Diaries

Part 94

Cleaning Up
 

It seemed like I was going to have a lot of cleaning up to do from the night with Matt.

Dad and Pop awoke later the same morning Dad brought me home, and there was definitely a chill in the air. Neither of them said a word and I didn’t want to break the silence.

We finished breakfast at the same table, but we might as well have been in three different rooms.

Finally, Dad lifted his head from the newspaper he was reading. “So, Sonny Boy, your birthday is this week, and you go back to school next week. Any plans?”

My birthday -- I’d almost forgotten, and I sure as shit didn’t think my dads wanted to celebrate with me anymore.

“Uhm, I hadn’t thought much about it. I was going to talk to Jeff as soon as he returned from orientation.”

Pop took a sip of coffee and then looked at me. “Has he been in touch? How’s he doing?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he texted me earlier this morning. Things are going great but he misses me. He’ll be home late tonight and wants to meet for dinner at the diner tomorrow after I finish work. Is it okay?”

Pop and Dad stared at each other, having one of their nonverbal conversations and Pop answered. “Sounds fine to us. Just let us know who’ll be bringing you back to Britin -- Jeff or one of us.”

“Thank you, I will.” I finished my glass of milk. “Listen, Dad, Pop, I really am sorry. I acted like an idiot--”

“That’s a fucking understatement,” Dad snarked.

“Brian, let him finish.”

“You’re right, Dad. I know it’s an understatement, but I want you to both know it will never happen again.”

Pop started to rub Dad’s shoulder and then leaned into him.

“Sonny Boy, actions speak a shit load louder than words... but I do appreciate your intentions.”

Pop added, “Have you told Jeff about your night with Matt?”

“Matt’s a friend of ours. It’s no big deal. Why should I tell Jeff?”

Pop rolled his eyes. “You spent the night smoking and drinking with your mutual friend, blamed it on wanting to wipe away your feelings about missing Jeff, and you wonder why he should know?”

I lowered my head. I understood exactly what he was saying. I’d actually thought about how to tell Jeff and was trying to convince myself it wasn’t necessary. “You’re right, Pop.”

“Damn straight, he’s right. If you want to kill your relationship with Jeff, don’t communicate. I speak from experience.” Dad seemed pretty tense.

“Brian, it’s okay. Gus will do the right thing.” Pop kissed Dad on the lips. The two lingered, foreheads touching. “You’ve changed -- we’ve both changed.”

“I just don’t want him to make the same ridiculous mistakes I made.”

The edges of Pop’s mouth curled up. “He still has to learn from his own mistakes -- at least he’s learning at fifteen... almost sixteen.”

Dad snorted. “Not at twenty-nine.” The two kissed again more ardently.

“Or thirty.”

“Twat.”

“Later.” Pop waved as he and Dad left the room, continuing their public display of affection.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

Work seemed to last forever the next day. Even though Uncle Michael had lots of work for me to do, all I kept thinking about was meeting up with Jeff for the first time in five days.

Michael was leaning on the counter adjacent to the register, counting the day’s take. I must have been tapping my foot or doing something equally as irritating because midway through he looked up and smirked.

“You seem a bit anxious. Someplace you have to go?”

I tilted my head and rolled my eyes. He knew exactly where I was heading and to whom. I think I’d mentioned it forty or fifty times during the day.

“Get out of here. I can count all by myself.”

Grabbing my backpack and hoisting it onto my shoulder, I made a beeline for the door. I yelled over my shoulder as I bolted out, “Thanks, Uncle Michael. See you tomorrow.”

Running all the way to the diner, I stopped when I was about to enter, smoothing my hair and making sure I didn’t look like I’d just fallen out of bed -- or run several long blocks.

The diner was really crowded. Every booth had people in it, and for a minute I wondered if Jeff would have to work rather than sit with me.

Then I spotted him near the back. He was facing my way, talking intently with some other guy. I could feel a pang of jealousy, but I squelched it knowing Jeff was expecting me while also noting he didn’t seem too happy with the guy.

“Hey, hot stuff, I missed you.” I dropped my backpack on the floor under the table, leaned down, and gave Jeff what I hoped was a toe-curling kiss, and then plopped down next to him.

That’s when I saw who he was talking to -- Matt.

Jeff didn’t say a word. Matt looked at both of us. “Hi, Gus. I was just telling Jeff about last Saturday night and why I have to work double shifts at my father’s store all week.”

“Fuck!”

“Well, Jeff, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Good luck with the start of school. Oh, and kid,” he looked directly at me, “happy birthday. Hope it’s a good one.” Matt slid out of the booth and left.

Jeff and I sat side by side silently. None of the waiters bothered us -- they all knew when it was time to order, Jeff would take care of it.

“Look, Jeff, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my stupid partying on the phone. I know I was an ass and should have called my dads to pick me up when Matt pulled out that shit, but I was missing you and acted like an idiot.”

Jeff nodded. “I missed you too, but I didn’t start hanging out with other guys.”

I snorted. “It’s not like I was with Jeremy or some other gay guy who wanted to get into my pants. I was with our friend, Matt. Remember -- straight Matt.”

Jeff huffed.

“What’s up? You still look pissed off. In fact, you looked really angry when you were talking to Matt while he was telling you what happened.” I took a breath but didn’t stop talking. I wanted to make sure Jeff understood I was just hanging out with a friend because I missed him. “I was just trying to stop feeling so fucking empty without you around.”

“I wish, if you had to use all that shit, you’d have done it with Marci.”

“She wasn’t available. At this point I kind of wish she had been.” I was definitely going to have to spend a lot of time at work and with after school activities, so I wouldn’t get fucked up again when Jeff headed off the following week. “I know I could get kicked off the basketball team for messing around with dope and booze. I won’t do it again. I’m not going to risk the chance of playing with you again at CMU.”

Jeff nodded. His continued silence was beginning to freak me out.

“Please tell me we’re not going to break up because I drank and smoked with one of our friends.” Panic began setting in as the words left my mouth.

Jeff took my hand and squeezed it. “You know Matt’s going to live at home for his first year, don’t you?”

“Sure I do. That’s why I figured he’d be a good friend to hang out with when I couldn’t be with you.”

A strange look crossed Jeff’s face. He pulled his hand from mine and started tearing up the napkins from the dispenser into tiny pieces.

“What the fuck is up?” I tried to keep my voice down but wasn’t sure if I was succeeding. I leaned in hesitantly and turned his head. Jeff grabbed me and pulled me in close, kissing me as if we’d been apart for a year. He looked so desperate... and worried.

“Gus, did I ever tell you about the first guy I kissed -- or rather who kissed me?”

I shook my head. “No, I just figured it was that creep boyfriend who wanted you to get involved in the tricking scene with him.”

“Nope, not him -- it was Matt.”

[TBC]

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