The Gus Diaries

Part 75

Dinner With Mom
 

My dads must have had one amazing honeymoon, vacation, whatever you call it. They came back tan -- well, Dad was tan, Pop had a bit of a sunburn but didn’t seem to be in too much pain -- and they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, even more than usual. It was kind of embarrassing, especially at their age!

I was pretty good about sticking with my plans when they were away, but I have to admit that I was tempted to give them a call after I’d had dinner with my mom. That was probably the strangest evening I’ve had in a long time, but I was lucky to have Jeff and Grandma Deb to help me out afterwards.

Let me go back a few days and see if I can remember everything that happened that night, it’s all kind of a crazy blur right now.

Dad and Pop left on Saturday last week. The Kinnetik Inc. car first dropped me off at Mem’s apartment and then drove off to the airport.

The minute I walked into the house, Jenny practically tackled me. “It’s about time you got here. I have plans for us.”

“You do? Well, you know I may have some plans of my own.” She followed me into my room and sat on the bed while I unpacked. It was kind of strange knowing that this was the first time I’d be staying overnight at one of my mother’s homes since they moved back to Pittsburgh.

“I know you want to see Jeff. I’m not some little kid. You need to satisfy your sexual urges with your hot boyfriend. Heaven forbid you go a week without fu...”

“Jenny!”

“Oh, Gus, don’t be such a baby. I know all about sex. Between Mem, Grandma Deb and Health class in school, I’ll probably be an expert.”

“Please tell me that it’s all talk and no action. I think my stomach is beginning to turn.”

She started laughing. “You can be such a prude, but, yes, there’s no need to worry. I’m still a virgin.”

“That’s good news since you’re only eleven!”

“I mean, I haven’t even kissed a boy, or girl -- yet.” That got my attention and I sat down next to her after putting away the final pair of jeans for the week.

“Boy or girl? Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”

Jenny had the nerve to actually smirk. “Just that I’m keeping my options opened. Let’s face it, in our family anything’s possible.”

“That’s a relief. I was beginning to think you’d already, well, you know...”

“Gus, I know I’m eleven, but I’m not dead. I can see everything going on around me.” She stopped to breathe, but then pressed on, “And you should see some of the girls in my school. I’m in sixth grade, but some of those eighth graders are really doing it.”

“Doing it?” I wasn’t about to assume anything at this point.

“Having sex with boys... in high school. You know, fucking.”

“Shit! Maybe you should transfer to another school. What about St. James?”

Jenny just smiled and gave me a hug. “Don’t worry, Gus, I have no plans to get into bed with any boy until I’m at least a teenager.”

I stood up and gave her a firm look -- or as firm as I know how. “Or later!”

She just kept snickering. I sometimes can’t stand my little sister; she really is something. “Anyway, I didn’t come in here to sideline your sex life with Jeff. I came in to tell you that Mem said we’d go out to dinner a couple of nights and even spend one evening with my dads.”

“That’ll be okay. It sounds like fun. I just hope Uncle Michael orders pizza because Uncle Ben can’t cook for shit.”

“I know, but he means well. He just wants us all to be healthy.”

Then I took Jenny’s hand in mine so I could give her the biggest bombshell of all. “Did Mem tell you about my plans for tonight?”

“Well, she said that since it was Saturday night, you had permission to stay over with Jeffy-boy, and that you’d be eating dinner at Grandma Deb’s.”

“That’s basically it, but there’s a bit more about dinner.” She looked at me confused, but said nothing. “Grandma Deb and Grandpa Carl will be going out to dinner. I’ll be having dinner with Mom.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah.” I took a deep breath. “I’m a little nervous about it, but she’s seemed pretty good lately.”

“You mean she hasn’t gone off the deep end since she’s been seeing her shrink.”

“I think you’ve been living with Mem too long. You’re beginning to sound more and more like her.”

Jenny put her hands on her hips and glared at me. “Is that a bad thing?”

I decided this was no time to talk about developing attitude issues. “Naw, I guess not.”

“Is this the first solo dinner?”

“Uh huh, and I have to admit I’m getting more tense as the day goes on. I just hope she doesn’t have her new boyfriend join us by surprise or something.”

“You can always call me if things start to get fucked up.”

Sometimes my sister can actually be a really nice person, too. “I know, but Jeff is going to pick me up at Grandma Deb’s so I won’t be stuck there for long.”

“Okay. Just remember that she’s only been seeing that shrink for like half a year and I have a feeling she’s been messed up for a lot longer.”

I nodded, hating to admit that she was probably right. I know Jenny hears things that Mem talks about -- maybe even with Marie late at night when they think she’s asleep. Mem’s never been that good about censoring herself or keeping her voice down, even when we were little.

Since I’d finished unpacking, Jenny and I went into the kitchen where Mem was making us some lunch.

She came up to me and gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek. “I can’t believe how tall you are.”

“Well, look at Dad and Mom.” She nodded. Sometimes I forget that she’s kind of sensitive about not being my natural mother. “But it has been awhile since we hung out without the whole family around, so we’re not always next to each other like this.”

“That’s right. I don’t get too much time to be close to you lately.” She looked at me. “I’m not being critical, sorry. I just miss having you around and sometimes, well...”

“It’s okay, Mem, I’m just glad we’ll be able to spend time together this week.”

“Did JR fill you in on some of our plans?”

“Yeah, sounds great.” Mem had us sit at the tiny dining room table and brought out a plate of deli sandwiches and a tray of beverages.

“You know, I really don’t want to be treated like a guest.”

She smiled, “But that really is what you are here, isn’t it?”

“I hope it won’t feel that way by the end of the week.”

“Well, maybe by then you’ll consider it a second home.”

I was glad she’d thought to give me a set of keys during Christmas. It would have been worse if I hadn’t been able to just walk in on my own that day.

“Gus?”

“Yes, Mem?”

“I understand you’re having dinner with Lindsay tonight.” I nodded and kept eating my sandwich. “Just remember that she loves you -- we all love you.”

“I know.”

“Also, be safe when you visit with Jeff tonight.”

I rolled my eyes, “We’re always safe. After living with Dad and Pop, that’s been drilled into my head over and over.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want it to be said that my parenting skills had gone south while you were living with your dads.”

I looked at Mem. “Relax, I’m sure everything will be cool this week.”

She nodded, but I somehow got the feeling she thought of this week as a sort of test -- to see if she was really still considered one of my parents. It was a bit awkward, but I knew where it was coming from, so I just let it go.

At that point, all I wanted to focus on was dinner with Mom.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

When I arrived at Grandma Deb’s, she and Grandpa were on their way out the door. She made sure that I still had her cell phone number recorded on mine. It’s nice to know that everyone seems to be watching out for me. I just hoped it wouldn’t be necessary.

“Hi, honey, you look quite handsome today.”

“Thanks, Mom. I try to look decent most of the time.” I hoped that there wasn’t too much of an edge in my voice. The truth is, I really do take pride in how I look. Some people might call it a gay thing, but most of my friends, especially when they’re going to see their girlfriends or boyfriends, make sure they look good.

“I know. It’s just that since this was simply dinner at home I wasn’t sure...” Mom was obviously pretty nervous, maybe more than me, so I decided to give her a break.

“It’s okay, I get it.” I looked around and saw that the table was set for just two, so at least the art-loving boyfriend wasn’t joining us. “What’s for dinner?”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I decided to try a new recipe.”

“It isn’t one of Uncle Ben’s, is it?”

She had the good sense to laugh. “No, I tend to find his cooking, well, less than desirable. It’s Beef Bourguignon. I hope you’ll like it. And, I even experimented by baking a cake.”

“Sounds like a lot of rich food.”

“Oh no, are you getting your father’s habit of eating low fat only?”

I laughed, “No, I love the thought of having a special treat once in a while. Pop tries to cook pretty healthy so Dad doesn’t complain, and I end up eating whatever he makes, so this will be a good change. It smells great. I can’t wait.”

Mom had a big smile on her face. It was nice to see for a change, and knowing I’d put it there didn’t hurt either.

She started fussing with the food and I went in to help her. “Why don’t you sit down at the table, I can do this. How’s school? I heard your basketball team took the championship this year. And Justin showed me the article of yours that got into the local Pittsburgh paper.”

“Mom, stop.”

“Stop what, honey?” She brought the food to the table and sat down with me.

“Stop trying so hard.” Mom lowered her head and I could see that she was upset. “What I mean is that I want to be here with you. Even if we just talk about the weather or don’t say anything at all.” I touched her arm gently and she looked into my eyes. “I just want to spend time with my Mom again. I missed you.”

Then she started to cry and leaned over, hugging me. I sort of felt lost, not knowing if I should say or do anything, wondering if I could screw something up if I opened my big mouth.

She finally let go. “Oh dear, my makeup must look awful.”

I laughed, “It’s no big deal. We’re not taking any pictures.”

We ate for a bit and then the conversation started up again more naturally. We spoke about school, the gallery, my writing and Mom’s renewed interest in creating art.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and I couldn’t wait to see Jeff and tell him how happy I was to finally have my mother back.

After we had some coffee, she brought over a beautiful cake and we each took a slice. “Gus, doesn’t this feel like old times?”

“Maybe even better, I’m really enjoying myself with you. It’s kind of nice to be treated like an adult by a parent.”

“You know, you really are almost an adult. And I can tell by your writing that you’re very talented.”

“Thanks. I really do think I may have a future in writing -- I’m just not sure if I’ll be a journalist or something else.”

“Well, I’m feeling quite enthusiastic about my art lately, too.”

“That’s great. Maybe you can show me some of the things you’re working on.”

“Most of my sketches are fairly simple, but I have a few paintings at the gallery I’d love for you to see.”

“I can come there one day after work, before I go home with Pop.”

Then Mom put down her fork, even though she clearly wasn’t finished eating. It was one of those moves that made me stop and take notice, although I’m not sure why.

“There’s something I’d like you to consider, sweetheart.”

“What?” I stuffed another bite of cake in my mouth, it was really good.

“I’m thinking about moving to New York City -- to be closer to the art world and more opportunities.” I kept chewing slowly, but put my own fork down at that moment. “You see, it turns out that my new friend -- the man I met at the gallery -- he has lots of family in New York with art connections. He also knows some great schools for young, gifted writers.”

Fuck!

“I want you to consider coming with me.” I was about to open my mouth, even though there was still food in it, but she raised her hand. “Don’t say anything now. Just think about all the opportunities you’ll have there, and we can arrange for you to come home on the weekends to be with Jeff and your fathers.”

“And Mem, and my grandmothers, and my uncles, and my sister? That’s a lot of catching up in a weekend.”

“Yes, all of them can see you on the weekends. They can come visit you in New York as well.”

I came close to blurting out, Are you crazy? but thought better of it under the circumstances.

“Mom, I love you, but...”

“Remember, just think about it. And keep in mind, this will give your fathers more opportunity to enjoy their own lives. They’ll be freer to travel more often, rather than just once in a while, on a rare occasion, because they have a teen at home to look after.”

Shit! Now I was pissed off, cornered and feeling guilty. I stood up and started pacing a bit and ran my fingers through my hair.

“You’re so like your father, and now you not only look like him, but you’re acquiring some of his mannerisms.”

Double shit! I wanted out now. I wasn’t sure what to think, but just as I was going to make an excuse to call Jeff, the front door opened and Grandma and Grandpa walked in with Jeff on their heels.

“Hey, kiddos, how was your little mother-son dinner party?” Grandma flew right by me and gave Mom a quick squeeze on her shoulder.

“Deb, it was lovely. In fact, I think Gus and I have a new understanding and a new plan that will bring us even closer.”

“That’s great, honey, I’m so...”

“The fuck we have!” I’d had it, and I let go -- maybe it was too much but I couldn’t help myself.

Jeff came up to me with concern written across his face, “Gus, what the fuck happened?”

“Just get me out of here. Let’s go.” Then I turned to Grandma, “You may want to ask Mom about her brilliant plans.” I turned to my mother who seemed shocked by my behavior. “Mom, I may be just fifteen, but I’m not nearly as easy to manipulate as my dads were. I’ll see you again when you realize that I’m happy where I am -- I wish you could be, too.”

Jeff and I left. He, Grandma and Grandpa all looked too bewildered for words, but I was sure not going to let this rest -- not by a fucking long shot!

[TBC]

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