The Gus Diaries

Part 53

The Dinner Guest
 

Pop decided to work at the Taylor Bloom Gallery for only half a day to give plenty of time for preparation for dinner with Dad’s prospective client, Eric Foster.

It was obvious that Pop was very uptight about seeing this guy knowing that he had brushed him off so cruelly all those years ago.

What I couldn’t understand was why it was such a big deal to this guy now? Fuck, if I did the math correctly it was over thirteen years ago. This made absolutely no sense. Besides, why would someone purposely want to see the trick that brushed him off?

All my questions would be answered at dinner.

When I told Uncle Michael what was happening he gave me the afternoon off and I knew Jeff had already arranged not to work that day either. Dad was going to pick us up right after basketball practice so we’d get home in time to help Pop finish dinner, set the table and all that other shit.

“Dad, why is Pop making such a big deal out of this? He didn’t do anything wrong back then, he just told this guy the truth.”

Dad held the steering wheel a little tighter as he answered me, “You know Gus, even though your Pop and I were living together at that time I still wanted to trick. The problem is that I think Justin went along with that whole philosophy because of me. If it had been up to him, we would have been an exclusive couple back then.”

“Why weren’t you? Didn’t you love Pop?”

“Well, Sonny Boy, that’s a very good question. The truth is I loved Justin very much. The problem was admitting to myself, let alone him, that I did. I fought that emotion tooth and nail. In fact, now that I think about it, I fought it for almost five fucking years and didn’t finally come to terms with it until he nearly died -- a second time.”

Jeff added in a hushed voice, “Was that after the famous Babylon bombing?”

“Yeah, Jeff, you get an ‘A’ for accuracy.”

“But I still don’t understand why Pop is freaking out over this.”

“If I understand Justin, and I think by now I finally do, he saw in this guy a reflection of who he had been when he first met me. Only rather than guide him to the reality of what their one and only night together had meant, he destroyed this kid.” Dad choked a raw kind of laugh, “It’s strange, but I tried to do the same thing to him. He just wouldn’t take no for an answer. I guess it worked with this guy. He never turned up again -- until now.”

“I can see why Pop might freak out, especially knowing that this big account is based on Mr. Foster’s impressions of our family tonight.”

“Well let me tell you a secret, not to be shared with Uncle Ted.”

“Okay.”

“I want this account. It would be good for business, and it would add to bigger Christmas bonuses for all when the time comes, but I love Justin more than the money.”

I nodded. It was obvious that Dad felt torn. “Then why go through all this? Just tell the guy to fuck off now.”

“Because that would have been irresponsible on my part as President and CEO of Kinnetik and also because it would have meant that I didn’t trust Justin. He needed to know what was going on, and in this case, he needed to participate in how to move forward -- he had to help call the shots.”

“Brian, what happens if the guy doesn’t like your family?” Jeff asked the question that was looming on my mind.

“That’s simple, Mr. Martin, we move on, don’t look back, and find a bigger, better account that’s waiting for Kinnetik’s touch.”

“Dad, does Pop know that’s how you feel?”

“I think he does, Sonny Boy, but he wants to deal with this evening first. I think out of all of us, his curiosity is peaked the most right now as well as his nerves.”

I sat in the passenger seat quietly for the rest of the ride, as did Jeff in the back. One thing was clear, this wasn’t going to be an ordinary dinner.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

When we got home Pop was bustling around the kitchen. He had obviously made a meal that Wolfgang Puck would envy.

Jeff and I ran upstairs and left our computers and backpacks in my room, washed up and ran back down to set the table. Pop had pulled out all the stops. We were using the best China, crystal and silverware. He even had this really artistic centerpiece of lemons, limes, cherries and grapes arranged in a long, low bowl.

The table looked pretty fucking great when we finished with it. We started heading back into the kitchen when we heard Dad and Pop talking softly, not whispers, just in low tones.

“Brian, I just want it to be perfect. I hate knowing you can lose this account for something I did.”

“Something you did when you were eighteen years old.”

“But still.”

“No but stills. If this guy is foolish enough to let something that happened almost fourteen years ago impact a decision about his company, that he makes today, then he’s the one who’ll lose out.”

“Brian, I can do the math. I may be an artist but I also run a business. This could bring in a huge amount of revenue for Kinnetik.”

“Justin, look at me, are you paying attention? Come on, turn this way. Are you listening?”

There was no answer so I just assume Pop nodded.

“Whatever happens tonight, we’ve made our best effort, put our best collective fucking foot forward. The proverbial ball is now in Eric Foster’s court.”

“I know but...”

“Ah, ah, ah... The one thing you need to remember more than anything else is that YOU are not responsible for tonight’s outcome. He made a choice to let you fuck him without knowing whether you gave a shit or not.”

“But the kiss...”

“The kiss was you being a nice, empathetic eighteen year old kid -- and nothing more. Other people can interpret, or in this case misinterpret however they’d like. That’s their problem, not yours.”

“I love you, Brian.”

“Now you’re thinking clearly.”

It was quiet for a while and Jeff and I decided to make our presence known loudly as we continued heading into the kitchen.

Pop went upstairs to finish freshening up for dinner now that everything was in the cooking process.

The rest of us were keeping an eye on the food and putting out the appetizers so everything would be ready in the living room. Almost like clockwork the doorbell rang as soon as the last appetizer was set out and Pop was walking down the stairs. He headed straight for the door and greeted Uncle Ted and Uncle Blake.

Everyone was seated and Dad passed around some soft drinks for Uncle Ted, Uncle Blake, Jeff and me. Dad and Pop each took a glass of wine but barely placed the glass to their lips when the doorbell rang again.

“Well, Bri, it’s showtime.” You can always count on Uncle Ted to illustrate the obvious.

“Let’s hope we give a twenty million dollar performance.”

“Amen to that.”

Dad went to open the door and greeted Mr. Foster. During Dad’s greetings at the door I noticed that Pop left the room to fuss with the food in the kitchen. I decided to follow him.

“Pop, are you okay?”

“Not really, Gus, but let’s keep that to ourselves.”

“Why are you so uptight?”

“Because I love your father, I love Kinnetik and I don’t want to be the cause of them losing a huge, prestigious account.”

“But, Pop, you know that Dad loves you more than the money.”

He huffed, “You know Gus, I do know that, but it still doesn’t take the pressure off.” He paused briefly. “I’ve also never really come across an old trick that left with a chip on his shoulder. The truth is I didn’t trick nearly as much as your father -- it wasn’t my style.”

“Then why do it?”

“That’s a question I’ll answer when we have a lot more time.” I nodded my agreement.

“This must all be fucking weird.”

“You don’t know the half of it. This guy was the beginning of a spiral down that damaged Brian’s trust in me for a long time. Of course we didn’t realize it at the time. Having him return to our lives just brings up a lot of painful memories.”

I didn’t know what to say so I just hugged Pop.

We returned together to the living room. Mr. Foster turned around and faced Pop and me.

“This must be your son, Brian.”

“Yes, this is Gus Taylor Kinney. You’ve already met his boyfriend Jeff.”

“He’s as handsome as you are.”

“He is a chip off the old block, but he’s a hell of a lot nicer than I ever was at his age.”

“Well, that says something for the way you're raising him. To respect himself and others.”

“And I’d like to reintroduce you to my husband, Justin Taylor.”

Pop approached slowly and shook Mr. Foster’s hand. “I must admit that you haven’t changed much over the years, Justin. It looks like time has been rather kind to you.”

“You, too. You look almost the same as when we met at that ridiculous college party all those years ago.”

“Thank you for the compliment, but I know I’ve thinned out a bit... in more than one place.”

Pop laughed softly at the joke but was clearly proceeding cautiously.

There was some light conversation of no particular consequence -- the weather, theater, opera (that was Uncle Ted’s insertion) and then...

“So, Brian, I understand you still own Babylon.”

“Yes, I do. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all, but I must admit I wonder why a family man with a successful business retains such a sleazy place.”

I noticed all the adults sit up straighter. “I suppose it can be sleazy, but I prefer to think of it as an outlet for the gay community. I wouldn’t want to remove a place where gays can play and have fun. In fact the four of us still visit Babylon from time to time to dance and enjoy each others’ company.”

“I see.” Mr. Foster rubbed his chin in thought.

“Do you have a problem with Babylon?”

“Let’s just say that someone, in my past,” he glared at Pop, “advised me to go to clubs and basically fuck around.”

Pop inhaled audibly but said nothing. Dad moved to sit on the arm of the chair Pop was sitting in and took his hand. “Remember, Eric, advice that’s offered for free is worth just what you pay for it.”

“Very good point, however, that wasn’t who I was. I went there, destroyed and devastated by someone who had hurt me deeply and told me that was the only way to meet other gay men.”

Pop finally found his voice, “If I remember correctly it was a suggestion, not a prerequisite for being gay. It was a reality check so you wouldn’t think that our encounter was anything more than a one-night stand... or less.”

“But you see, Justin, I followed your advice.”

I knew that something was wrong. The tone of the entire conversation got uncomfortable. Uncle Ted put down his club soda and Uncle Blake started squirming.

Jeff took my hand as we sat side by side on a love seat. We didn’t dare to move for fear of being noticed.

“So, Eric, did you have a negative experience? Are you going to hold a bad experience at a gay club as the measure of picking an advertising agency that could significantly raise the bottom line for your company?” Dad’s tone bordered irritated. He was clearly losing his patience with this guy.

“Funny you should use that phrasing Brian.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Now he was losing it rapidly.

“Bri...” Uncle Ted tried to use a cautionary tone.

“Theodore, there’s obviously a point to this fucking dog and pony show. Let’s hear it, Eric.”

“The phrase did I have a negative experience. No, I followed my mentor’s advice perfectly.” He glared at Pop and this time I could see there was venom in his eyes. “You were right, Justin. All the guys loved me. I was very wanted.”

Pop moved forward towards the edge of his seat knowing there was more to come.

“But did you know that when you let ten or more different guys a month fuck you, even with a condom, one is bound to break. Who knows, maybe it was more than one.”

Dad stood up and yelled, “Fuck!”

Pop found his voice, “I never told you to run amuck and let every sleaze in Pittsburgh fuck you.”

“No, not directly. But you sure as shit aimed me in that direction. I followed your lead, devastated that I would remain otherwise unloved.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Justin!” Dad got all our attention with that. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Then he looked point-blank at Mr. Foster. “Do you have the nerve to blame Justin for your HIV status.” It was a statement more than a question.

“I would have never gone in that direction had it not been for Justin’s morning after destructive words.”

“That’s a fucking cop-out and you know it.” Dad ran his fingers through his hair.

“Look, Eric, I’m sorry for what happened to you. Maybe you have to blame me because it’s easier to blame someone else for such a major fuck-up, but we were kids and you made a bad choice at some point along the way.”

“Say what you want, but you indirectly led me to become another HIV statistic. Fortunately I’m doing well and I finally found someone else to share my life, who also shares my health status.” Mr. Foster stood up and put down his glass as he headed for the door. “I’ve waited ten years to share this piece of news with you, Justin, although I’d imagine with your past history you and Brian may be in the same boat, but that doesn’t concern me in the least.” Then he looked directly at Dad, “I don’t believe Sweet Dreams will be needing the services of Kinnetik Inc. But I’m sure you’ve already surmised that.”

With that Eric Foster walked out the door.

All of us sat still, not knowing what to do or say and just staring at each other.

Finally Uncle Ted broke the silence, “Well fuck him. It’s a pity when someone can’t assume responsibility for their own fuck-ups. Thank God some of us choose to admit who we are and that we make our own choices.”

Uncle Blake looked at Uncle Ted and gave him a huge kiss.

I saw a smirk creep across Dad’s face. “Okay, you two, no reason to subject the children to this ridiculous display of tongue wrestling.”

Pop stood up and kissed Dad on the cheek. “Are you mad?”

“At you, no fucking way. He’s insane. And he’d better get that chip off his shoulder soon or it’ll crush him.”

“I mean about losing the account.”

“It was obviously never ours to lose.” Then Dad looked at Ted. “Oh, by the way, Theodore, the head of advertising for Macy’s contacted me this afternoon shortly before I left Kinnetik. We have a meeting with them Monday morning.”

Uncle Ted nodded and a huge smile covered his face.

“My dear Sunshine, I believe it’s going to be a hot night at the Schmidt/Wyzecki household tonight.”

We all laughed at that and went into the dining room to enjoy Pop’s amazing dinner.

When I was finishing clearing the table Dad pulled me aside. “You know that none of that man’s misfortune was brought on by Justin, don’t you?”

“Yes, Dad. He made his own stupid choices and is going to pay for them for the rest of his life. It’s kind of sad.”

“It is fucking sad and pitiful. You make your own happiness and you find your own way. Emotions are good, but don’t let them destroy your judgment or your personal values.”

“I love you, Dad. I’ll remember that.”

“Good. Now goodnight.”

“Where’s Pop?”

“I sent him upstairs.”

“Is he okay?”

“He will be, although I’m quite sure he’ll be exorcising this night in front of a canvas over the next few days.”

“I’m glad he has his art.”

“Me too, Gus, and I’m even happier that he has us.”

“Especially you, Dad.”

“I’d like to think so.”
 

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