The Gus Diaries

Part 3

Clothing Makes the Man

I can’t believe school starts tomorrow. This past week has been insane. Some of it’s been fun…and some of it’s made me nauseous and scared. In fact, I’m kind of nauseous just thinking about going to a new school. I guess the good news is that there will be lots of kids from different schools who’ve never met before since this is a private school. It’s not like I’ll be the only one who’s new.

You know that old saying about some things change and some things always stay the same? Well, St. James still uses uniforms. I’ve seen pictures of MJ in his. At least the new uniforms don’t look quite as geeky. They also have some options. For example, I have to wear the blazer—the same blazer that MJ wore. I think the lapels may be a little more updated but that’s the end of it. It’s still blue and still has the school crest on the pocket. The good news is that the pants can be any color we want, as long as they match and they’re not jeans or cargo style, and while the shirt has to be button down, it can also be any coordinating color and same for the tie. That stupid tie MJ had to wear was…well, I’m gagging again for other reasons just thinking about it.

After I got my jacket, which my dad still thinks wasn’t fitted good enough, it was time to shop for the rest of my clothes. I wish MJ had taken me shopping, but my dad wouldn’t allow it. I guess an artist’s eye for painting isn’t good enough for shopping. Let me tell you, this was an experience I’ll never forget. Justin may have been the King of Babylon (they did tell me about that once during an argument about who’s the best dancer – what a joke) but my dad is the King of Retail Label Shopping. Uncle Emmett can’t hold a candle to him, even when he’s behaving like my aunt.

Someday I’ll have to record all that I learned about the King of Babylon contest. But that’s for another entry. Right now Babylon’s the last thing on my mind, especially since I’m only allowed to see it during the day when it’s empty and the lights are on.

Anyway, back to shopping. Dad, MJ and I went to dad’s favorite men’s clothing store. There was so much Armani, Prada and Boss I thought I was at my father’s chosen place of worship. Come to think of it, maybe I was.

We walked in and two sales people immediately went up to my dad and asked if MJ needed another suit for an opening. Apparently MJ isn’t allowed to shop for his own dress clothes either. While MJ rolled his eyes and gave Dad one of “those” looks, Dad introduced me to Eliana and Mario.

Watching Dad, Eliana & Mario, was like watching a choreographed ballet. Maybe my dad has some dance skills after all, in the right setting. They took my geeky blazer and started setting aside pants, shirts and about 1,000 ties – all solid. I didn’t know there were that many colors. I discovered you could say red in about 10 different ways…let’s see, red, maroon, ruby, rose, sunset and a whole bunch more. I lost track after those and don’t get me started on “shades of blue”. I think my head started spinning just listening to them and watching them fly around the store.

Thirty minutes later I was taken to a dressing room that rivaled the size of my bedroom and had a sofa, a table and a clothes rack inside with all the pieces of clothing that were picked out for me. I looked at MJ silently pleading when he asked, “Would you like me to come in with you?”

“Please, I can’t go in there alone. I’m not sure what’s supposed to go with what.” I whispered. “I know I need Dad in there but can you come too, in case he starts getting, you know, pushy.”

“You’re dad never gets pushy.” At that I just tilted my head and looked at Justin. “Okay, he can get a bit pushy, but he’s much better than he used to be.”

I sat on the sofa and looked at all the clothes around me and realized that I was totally out of my “comfort zone”. I think MJ realized it to because he finally spoke up.

“Brian, this is a bit over-doing it don’t you think?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Gus needs to look the best to be the best. I have the money so why shouldn’t he get all the clothes that he deserves?”

“Because he’s 14 years old and about to start high school, not become a junior executive at Kinnetik. He’s gonna be eating lunch in a cafeteria where he’ll spill mustard and ketchup on his ties and shirts and wrinkle them, and his pants, in his gym locker every time he stuffs them in to change for gym class.”

“Who the fuck cares? I’ll just get him more. And what business is it of yours what I want to buy for my son, if you want to shop at the Big Q for a kid, have one of your own.”

At that point I think I felt the earth tilt a little off its axis.

Justin stood with his face contorted as if someone had just sucker-punched him. I moved further towards the far edge of the sofa (wishing I could disappear into the cushions) and Dad…Dad brushed his hand through his hair and over his face and turned to the wall. He may have said, “Fuck,” but I really couldn’t focus.

MJ walked over to me held my face in his hands so I would look at him and kissed me on the top of my head. Then he said in a really strained voice, “Enjoy and pick out whatever you like. I respect your opinion and know you’ll make your choices wisely. Remember I love you, but I just have to leave.” I had the strange feeling that I wasn’t the only one he was talking to, and he wasn’t just talking about clothing.

And with that he turned and left. It was as if everything happened in slow motion, like when you watch a building collapse in a movie or some crazy explosion where they show the people flying in the air as they get blown up.

“Dad?” was all I could utter.

He turned towards me and said, “We’re leaving.”

As we left the dressing room Dad reminded the shop owner of his size, which they apparently keep on file and quickly ordered 3 Armani suits to be picked up next week. He gave them his credit card number and we headed for the car.

Once we got in I realized that Justin wasn’t waiting for us. “Dad, where’s MJ?”

“Not now,” was the only response I got.

Then things got even weirder. I soon noticed that we were heading toward the mall. Silently we parked, silently we walked into the mall and silently we went to Banana Republic, where Dad sat on the sidelines while I selected 8 cool-looking shirts and pants. Then we went to Tie-World and once again Dad stood to the side while I picked out some ties to match the shirts and my school blazer. He barely said anything more than, “For a 14 year old, you’ve got excellent taste in clothes.” I thanked him because I think that was a compliment, although I’m not 100% sure.

When we got back to Britin, it seemed too quiet. I began to get nervous, remembering that MJ said he had to leave. I assumed he meant the store; he couldn’t possibly leave the house…me…my dad?

I remember once last year getting really mad at Mem and yelling, “Who gives a fuck what you think, you’re not my real mother!” She cried and I felt like shit because that was the lowest blow I give her and it was a while before I had truly felt like I’d made it up to her for that stupid remark. I wonder if that’s how Justin is feeling after Dad’s stupid remark. MJ must know it was an asinine statement and that it was NOT true. He’s just as much a father to me as Dad.

Dad told me to take my stuff up to my room. Then he said, “Would you please stay up there for a bit, I have some personal business to attend to?” I went upstairs to hang up my clothes but I couldn’t resist sneaking back down to see what was going on. I stayed really quiet and snooped around until I heard voices in Dad’s office.

“What are you doing in here?” he asked.

“It smells and feels like someone I know and love.”

“I fucked up. No one is more a parent to Gus than you.”

“No, you were right. I think for the first time, I understand why Mel tried to get you to sign your rights over to her so hungrily.”

“It’s not the same. You are a legal guardian, now, while he’s living with us. But it’s more than that. Gus can choose his family now. He chose you, just like I did.”

“I remember you said that we were getting married so we could organize all the legal shit. I’m pretty sure that was how you phrased it.”

“You know that’s not all of it.” I heard Dad practically whisper. “I love you and will always love you. I once told you that you were my prince, but it’s much more than that, you’re my life and probably my savior. And don’t roll your eyes at me when I’m trying to say what I really feel.” I almost choked and gave myself away when I heard that.

He continued, “What I said in the store was stupid and thoughtless and I will never make that mistake again, I’m sorry.”

Oh my fucking god, Dad apologized. Mom said he never “really” apologizes. I nearly fainted.

Then MJ finally spoke again and his tone seemed to change a bit. “Did you buy Gus a whole new Armani and Prada wardrobe?”

“No. I ordered 3 Armani suits for myself and then took the advice of Gus’ wiser father to heart, and OUR son picked up a bunch of shirts and pants at Banana Republic and a half a dozen very creative ties at Tie-World.”

“You went to the mall without a knife in your back, wow you must really love Gus.”

“And I respect his choices and the advice of his other father. Hell, you’re probably more of a father to him than I am. I’m a credit card with legs, but you really know how to spend time with him and listen. Maybe that’s why I went a little over-the-top this morning. I just wanted to be able to give him something no one else could.”

“You already do.” Justin said very firmly. “Wow, you must have really felt remorseful to go to the mall willingly.”

“You have no idea how much I wish I could take back what I said this morning, but in lieu of that, just know that I have and always will respect your role as father in our son’s life. No one is better qualified for the job.”

“I think it’s a tie.”

“And you should see some of the ‘interesting’ ones YOUR son selected. He gets that from you.”

After Dad said that last line they started to hug and then he planted one major league kiss on MJ. They both looked a bit dizzy when they finally pulled apart. When they continued getting all touchy-feely (literally) I figured that was my cue to go back upstairs and hang up all my new clothes.

I have to admit I was pretty scared that when Justin left the store he was leaving us. I can be such a jerk sometimes. There’s no way those two could ever separate. It’s almost like they have this unexplained connection and neither one would survive without the other. I know that sounds corny, but I really believe it.

Anyway, now I’m ready for school to start…at least in the clothing department. I think I’ll wear the black pants, the blue shirt that’s the same color as the blazer and the matching blue tie with peace signs all over it. That should make a cool statement about who I am.

Fuck, I’m getting really hungry, I hope those two come up for air soon, otherwise I’ll just have to order some pizza without them.

 

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