The Gus Diaries

Part 152

Summer Revelations IV
 

I wasn’t sure what to say to Uncle Michael, but it was about time I spoke to someone about my upcoming plans. Maybe he would make a good sounding board, prepping me for the big reveal to my fathers. The line at the Starbucks was long so we had plenty of time to talk. Besides, Jeff was getting anxious. He hated all the avoidance and felt like we were ‘lying by omission’ (Jeff’s words, not mine) and wanted everything out in the open.

“So Gus, I’m not sure what Brian’s allowed to eat, probably just whatever’s pumped into him through a tube right now, but we’ll get Justin some healthy food and a few snacks. He could probably use a combination of a caffeine and sugar rush, with a side of good nutrition, right about now.”

“Huh?” I looked at Uncle Michael, letting his words filter into my thoughts.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Pop could use some serious caffeine and sugar in his system, but getting him some real food, as Dad would call it, couldn’t hurt either.”

“I’m glad you were still on this planet long enough to listen.”

After we ordered we took a few steps to the side, holding our large bags of food, while we waited for our various caffeine drink combinations to be prepared. Uncle Michael turned and looked directly at me. “Now that we have the business of nourishment completed, how about telling me what’s been on your mind?”

“I’m worried about Dad. Shouldn’t I be?” I knew I sounded like a little kid trying to weasel out of something, but it was a knee-jerk reaction to Uncle Michael’s question.

“Gus, I’ve known you since the night you were born, and I can tell when something’s bothering you. We were all relieved to find out your dad is going to be fine once he lets his vanity take a back seat to living a full and healthy life.” He sighed. “Listen, if you don’t feel you can trust me with whatever’s bugging you, it’s okay. I understand some things need to be kept private. JR’s getting to that age too. I guess I’d better get used to only learning half of everything in her life -- and probably learning more from her mother than her.”

“No, no. I trust you. I really do. It’s just that I’m concerned about my dads’ reactions to what I have to tell them, ask them, I mean tell them.” I looked at the floor, unable to deal with Uncle Michael’s big searching eyes. It was times like this he reminded me of a cross between Dad and Grandma Deb. Both could get me do or confess stuff with just a narrow-eyed look.

When I dared to look back at him, Uncle Michael hadn’t moved closer, nor had he stopped staring at me. I have to admit, he was more patient with me than I would have been if the situation had been reversed. That must be Ben’s calming influence in his life.

“Okay, here goes.” I took a deep breath. “Jeff and I plan to get an apartment near campus together this year. Just us. We think we’re ready to live together full time.”

“You think?”

“I know, we know. We’re ready, we really are.”

“I see.” I hate when Uncle Michael doesn’t get all loud and dramatic. It’s kind of scary because sometimes he can be really smart and thoughtful -- once again channeling Uncle Ben.

“Do you see? We love each other, and we practically live together anyway. It’s just a matter of making it official. We figure we can get a seasonal lease and if we like the place we can continue to live there after school is out.”

“So you’d be moving out of Britin completely?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess that’s exactly what I’m saying. Besides, CMU isn’t too far from our old homes, so it wouldn’t be like I wouldn’t see my dads all the time anyway. We’d probably be over for meals all the time and visiting to use the pool during the entire summer.”

“Hmmm.”

Before I could ask Uncle Michael what he was thinking our names were called announcing our drinks were ready for pick up. We grabbed the tray of drinks, and with our bags of food headed back toward the hospital.

We didn’t speak for most of the walk. As we crossed the threshold of Pittsburgh General’s main entrance, Uncle Michael paused. “Gus, have you thought about being roommates in a suite on campus. Ben’s mentioned that those rooms are practically like apartments, but they’re part of the campus housing, usually for upperclassmen with parents who have big bucks. You and Jeff qualify in all those departments, since he’ll be a senior.”

“We’ve thought about it, but it seems almost like a try-out -- practice for really living together to see if it’ll work.” I stopped and faced Uncle Michael. “We don’t need a try-out. We know what we want.”

“If you know what you want then just consider it as maybe a way of getting the best of both worlds.”

“What do you mean?” I wondered if he was trying to confuse me or trip me up.

“This way Brian will pay the bill for room and board, you and Jeff can live together, and then you can both take full advantage of Britin when school isn’t in session. From what I hear, that’s basically what you’re doing now, but you have separate dorm rooms at school. Besides, this will eliminate any possible landlord tenant bullshit you shouldn’t have to deal with while you’re trying to succeed with your schoolwork, basketball practice, and the newspaper responsibilities.”

It’s really annoying when something Jeff and I have discussed gets brought back into the mix, but sounds more logical when a parent says it. I wanted to find a loophole in everything Uncle Michael put forward, but couldn’t. Now I’d have to talk to Jeff about it again. I hope he won’t be mad, or think I’m back-pedaling. I really want to live with him, but Uncle Michael was right about all the benefits of going about it the way he suggested.

“Think about it, Gus. Let’s face it, I’m hardly a genius in the parenting department, but I like to think I’ve picked up a couple of good qualities watching my mom, Jennifer, and your fathers in action. They all excel, each in their own way, as good parents.”

I thought about what Uncle Michael said. “Yeah, they do. They’ve each got very different styles, but they all work.”

As we approached the room we heard Dad and Pop talking so we stopped before entering. We hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but it was impossible not to hear what they were saying as the door was open and they weren’t whispering.

“Brian, I can’t believe you did this to yourself. I know you’ve played Russian Roulette with your life before, but I thought those days were long behind you. I thought Gus and I might actually be a reason for you to put those days behind you.” I could hear a hitch in Pop’s voice and wanted to go inside and help him, maybe just give him a hug, but Uncle Michael blocked my way and shook his head.

“Sunshine, Justin, sometimes, well sometimes--” Dad’s voice trailed off.

“Sometimes what? Sometimes you want to get away from all the responsibilities of being a parent and a partner?” Pop’s voice continued to crack and his desperation was evident.

“No, never. Sometimes I forget that growing older doesn’t have to be so bad.” Dad paused briefly. “I forgot that growing more mature means being in a place to love you without any hesitation, apologies, or regrets. I forgot that growing older gave me the confidence to let Gus into my life -- our lives -- full time. Both you and Gus are the two best parts of my life and I wouldn’t do anything to threaten having the two of you with me for as long as possible.”

“Then don’t be such a fucking drama queen about your appearance. You know I only see the man I met nearly twenty years ago. You’re just a better, more approachable version of him.”

“I guess we grew up together.” I heard Dad venture a soft chuckle.

“Emotionally. I’m still younger chronologically.” I could practically hear the smirk creeping across Pop’s face as his voice returned to a more calm and playful tone.

“Does that mean you’ll want me around even as age rears its truly ugly features? After all, you’ll always be twelve years younger than me.”

“And I’ll always be in love with you, no matter how you change -- although I’d lay odds it’ll be more gracefully than any other fag could ever imagine or wish for.”

Pop and Dad both were quiet. I had a feeling I knew what they were doing.

After a minute or two Pop spoke up. “Besides, I expect you’ll look completely hot and totally irresistible in your glasses. Just ask Michael -- there’s something to be said for the educated, professor-like hottie look.”

Michael’s eyes widened and a smile crept across his face. He nodded and led the way into the hospital room. “Food and drinks for all, except the sickie in the bed.” He held up his bag and I held up the tray of drinks and the bag I was holding.

“Where the fuck did you two go?” Dad was in much better form now. “You didn’t need to go to the Starbucks in West Virginia. The one across the street would have sufficed.”

“There was a long line.” I chimed in. “I had a little talk with Uncle Michael and I think there’s something I need to talk to Jeff about.”

“Oh really, Sonny Boy. Anything you want to fill us in on?” Dad and Pop looked from me to Uncle Michael, who gave nothing away, and then back to me.

“Not right now, Dad. Just get better so Pop and I can bring you home.”

Pop smiled. “With a pit-stop on the way to pick up a pair of glasses.”

I left the food and drinks in the room and they started to dig in. My stomach grumbled, but I had more important things on my mind so I stepped into the hallway. I pulled out my phone and called Jeff.

“Hey, Newbie, how’s your Dad?”

“He’s doing much, much better. We should talk.”

“Shit! That’s a phrase that never starts a conversation off well. You’re not backing out, are you? I’m ready to move forward.”

“No, but we still need to talk. I promise it’ll be the last time before we talk to Dad, Pop, Grandma Jen, and Tucker.”

“Okay, Gus.” Jeff didn’t sound happy, but at least he wasn’t yelling. “When and where?”

“Can you come to Britin tonight? There are a few things we should think about.”

“I’ll be there, but I don’t want to just play house anymore. It’s time we were the adult couple we’re supposed to be. Enough of this living on campus and alternating whose room we’re staying in bullshit. It’s time we started our lives as an established couple.”

“See you later.” Damn! I hope he’ll be willing and able to compromise.

[TBC]

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