The Gus Diaries

Part 142

Educational Surprises II
 

“My father’s behavior was far worse than any stories Mem ever told me!” I couldn’t stop pacing the length of my dorm room, my hands waving in the air to emphasize my repeated declarations.

“Hell, she was probably going easy on him all these years for my sake.” I must have looked ridiculous ranting and raving, but no matter how hard I tried to calm down, I couldn’t stand still.

“Gus, may I remind you this was something that happened almost 14 years ago.” Marci and Jeff were seated side by side on my bed. The two kept their voices low, probably to encourage me to do the same since it was after one o’clock in the morning and the dormitory walls were paper thin.

“And that was around the first time my dad proposed to Justin. How the fuck can you have a fucking contest and then turn around and ask someone to marry you? No wonder Justin said, 'No' and then left for New York City. He was probably disgusted with my dad. I would have been.

“Some time back I learned from one of my more loose-lipped uncles he’d contracted syphilis just a few months before Justin left for New York. Now things about their past during that time are looking clearer and clearer.”

“Hey, Newbie, you need to talk to your father and find out all the facts before you make all these assumptions.”

“Assumptions!” I glared at Jeff. “Everything fits perfectly. I’m just grateful Pop was finally willing to come back into my dad’s life. I can’t imagine my life without him. In many ways I’m closer to him than any other member of my family.”

“Then maybe you should talk to him. We have a long weekend coming up for mid-semester break. I’ll stay at Britin with you.”

“And I’ll be just a short drive away at your Grandma Deb’s house. I think she’s planning to weigh me and then fatten me up with her incredible lasagna.” I could tell Marci was trying to lighten the mood and Jeff was trying to be supportive, but the disgusting thoughts about my father filled my head and wouldn’t disappear.

Who the hell participates in a contest to see who can fuck the guys on their top ten hotties list the fastest? The whole idea totally grossed me out and sounded like something you’d see in some ridiculous old teen sex film from the last century.

Actually, this was worse because it was real. My father had been the whore of gay Pittsburgh and had proudly proceeded to prove that face. How could I have ever thought he was such an amazing role model? I didn’t want to be anything like him, or even go anywhere near him if I could help it.

And what hurt the most was learning the complete truth from a stranger who happened to end up at the same college, at the same GSA dance Marci dragged me to.

At thirty-five years old, my dear old dad went through an insane, and somewhat premature, mid-life crisis. So instead of doing what most normal people do... buy a goddamn sports car, have a fucked up affair (with only one person), or even quit their jobs and take a prolonged and extravagant vacation, my dad wanted to become the undeniable champion dick of the gay community.

I’m glad I’m nothing like him.

I turned toward Jeff and looked him straight in the eyes. “I want to marry you.”

Jeff stared at me, his eyes wide and unblinking.

“You know I’m nothing like him. I’m not going to go around sticking my dick in any available hole, especially to make a goddamned fucking, fucked up point. I want you, and only you, for the rest of my life. Maybe if my dad was smart enough to admit that when he was younger, it wouldn’t have taken him so long to get Pop back into his life for good. They wasted so many years because my dad really is the asshole Grandma Debbie says he is.”

Marci held up her hand and interrupted. “Wait a minute. You know, as well as I do, when Debbie calls your dad an asshole it’s with a huge amount of love in her heart.”

“Love or no love, the title obviously fits.”

Jeff stood up and wrapped his arms around me. It felt safe and comforting and I let myself practically collapse against him. “I love you as much as you love me, Gus, but before we say or do anything out of spite or anger, I want you to talk to your dads -- both of them.”

I knew Jeff was being the mature one; and, as usual, he made a good point. I did want to marry him, but just not right away.

“If you’re not ready to call your dad, why not contact Justin in the morning? You know he’d willingly come out here to visit with you so you can talk without interruption from anyone else in your family.”

“You mean without my dad getting in the way.”

“That too.”

“Okay, I’ll call Pop in the morning and ask him if he can come here tomorrow afternoon. My mom’s been doing great at the gallery; I’m sure he’ll be able to leave her on her own for the afternoon.”

“Are you going to tell him why you’re asking him to visit?” The concern in Marci’s voice was evident.

“No, I’ll just make it very clear that I don’t want Dad coming with him.”

“You know he’s going to tell your father about the impending trip.”

“As long as he doesn’t bring him I’m fine with that. It wouldn’t hurt my father to feel a little anxious for once in his fucking life.”

Jeff took a step back and looked me squarely in the eyes. “You know that’s not true. He’s had plenty of moments when he’s been anxious, especially when it revolved around concern for you or your Pop.”

Lowering my head, I nodded slowly. Jeff was right. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” Jeff rested his hands on my shoulders and Marci stood close behind with her arms crossed.

“I won’t jump to any rash conclusions, or make any final decisions about my relationship with my father until after I speak with Pop and then with Dad.” I kissed Jeff chastely on the lips.

“Good.”

“Good,” Marci echoed in the background. “Now will one of you walk me back upstairs so I can get some sleep?”

“Newbie, I’ll get Marci back to her room, and then be back in less than five.”

Nodding again, I opened the door for them. Marci gave me a quick hug and whispered in my ear, “Everything is going to be fine. I just know it.”

I tried to give her a real smile, but it was obvious I couldn’t. All I could think about was talking to Pop the next day.

[TBC]

Return to The Gus Diaries