The Gus Diaries

Part 124

Feeling Raw


 

It was just a few nights ago that I decided to broach with Jeff, a subject that had been on my mind lately.  Jeff was more incredible than ever before.  He had me bent in half, my legs on his shoulders.  God, I’d totally do anything for him.  When he pushed past my entrance, filling me... that’s when I felt truly complete.

He leaned over and kissed me, hard, making me feel like I was the only person on the planet worth kissing, worth touching.  As he moved into me, inch by inch, I could feel him taking me, once again making me his.  I belonged to him and I know he’s all mine, but it doesn’t really matter.  All I know is that when he’s inside me, over me, around me, I’m his and there’s nothing better.

When he pressed further in, when I could feel his balls against my ass, then we really did become as one.  He began to move in our familiar rhythm, a rhythm we’ve made all our own, one that never gets boring.  As soon as he was ready to see me lose it, he did what he has done many times before; he changed the angle of his thrusts, knowing exactly how I’d react.  As soon as he started nudging that spot, I wanted to fall apart and only come together again for him. 

He made sure to hit my prostate on every thrust, in and out, in and out, until I’m sure my moans could be heard in the next county.  I found out later I had gripped his shoulders so firmly I left marks.  He said they were his badges of honor.  Sometimes Jeff can be such a geek.

And then the finale.  It was like he orchestrated it and I just followed his lead.  He never lets me down.

“Oh God, Jeff, please!”

“Come on, Newbie.  Please what?  What do you want?” 

In and out, in and out, my head was thrashing from side to side on the pillow.  I knew my body would ache later, my legs and ass sore, but none of that was important.  This moment, here and now, was the only thing in the world that mattered.

“Touch me.  I need you to touch me, now.”  I tried to yell at him, but it came out as a mere whimper.

His grin would have been frightening if it wasn’t Jeff.  His eyes were dark, probably matching my own and the look could only be described as feral. 

“Jeff, need you.  Need to come.”  It was too much, I just needed a little more, one more push, one more touch. 

“Is this what you’re waiting for?”  He crashed his lips against mine.  It hurt, but the pleasure far outweighed the pain.  His lips attacked mine; he grabbed my cock and tugged -- once, twice, and then tapped the tip.  That was all it took.

“Ahhh!”  I felt everything crashing around me as I arched my back and let go.  My dick pulsing, still in his grasp, shooting streams between us.

It’s as if I was in a never-ending orgasm. It didn’t seem as if it was ever going to end.  He continued to thrust inside me.  I felt myself falling and trusted that Jeff would be there to catch me. 

He released my cock and swiped a finger in the moisture between us, bringing it to his lips and sucking.

“Fuck, Gus.  You taste incredible.”

Our lips were instantly together again, his tongue inside, letting me share the taste, my taste, the taste I’ve given only to him.

“Gus, you’re mine!”  Then I felt it -- Jeff pulsing inside me, filling me, or rather filling that damn condom.

Collapsing, Jeff held me tight as I finally let my legs fall to the sides.  Neither of us could seem to catch our breath.  I didn’t care.  This passion, our heat, our insatiable appetite -- I did this.  He was spent because of me, because he loved, loves only me.

Never letting go of me, Jeff somehow pulled out and removed the condom carefully, using only one hand. 

We were soon wrapped in each other’s arms, the heavy panting ended and we still remained as one -- clinging together in a way I knew no one would or could ever separate us.

“I love you, Gus.  I know I say that a lot after we have sex.”

“You mean make love.  This is much better than just sex.”

He looked at me, a soft smile on his face, the feral, predatory look long gone.  “After we make love I often tell you I love you, but I just want you to know those are never empty words.  I mean them.  You’re it for me.”

“Jeff, I love you so much.”  I gazed into his eyes.  He wore a sweet, crooked smile in response to my words.  “I know you’re my first, but no one else could be better.  I guess I hit the jackpot on the first try.”

“I know other guys will, and have tried to, get to you.”

“None compare.”  I shook my head.  “I don’t want to bother with them.  I’ve got the best.”  I closed my eyes and rested my head against his broad shoulder.  “Pop and I are both lucky.  We found the one the first time around.”

Jeff huffed.  “If I remember correctly, he’s had a lot of time to compare over the years.”

“Maybe so, but he still was with my dad first, and now he will be forever.”

“Yeah.  They’re really lucky, and are happier than any other couple I’ve ever seen, including Michael and Ben, and your mem and Marie.”

“We could be just as happy.  In fact, we are.”  I kept my eyes closed and couldn’t stop the next words out of my mouth.  “I think it’s time we finally got rid of those damn condoms.”

I felt air between us and opened my eyes.  Jeff had propped himself up and was looking at me as if I’d grown another head.  “What the hell!  Gus, you know we can’t do that.  For starters, we promised your dads.”

“We promised my dads we wouldn’t do it raw until we were ready and had a mature relationship.  I think we have about the most mature -- and monogamous -- relationship possible.  Why shouldn’t we enjoy making love even more than we already do?”

“But Gus, it’s just wrong.  We’re too young and you know it.”

“Jeff, I may be young, but I know what I want and that’s you, only you.  I want to feel you inside me.  I want you, and only you, to fill me.  It’ll be the final moment when I’m completely yours and yours alone.”

“Gus, I don’t know.  This sounds too huge for words.  Maybe we should think about it a little.”  Jeff cupped my chin as he looked directly into my eyes.  “I thought you were satisfied with our sex life.”  His brow furrowed.

“Of course I am.  You know I am.  But this would bring us even closer.  It would make us more committed to each other than we already are.  Don’t you want that?  I hope I’m not the only one who thinks you and I are in this for the long haul.”

“You know I do.  It just seems too soon.”  Jeff held me close, our bodies glued together and our legs entwined.  He whispered in my ear.  “Let’s think about this.  Maybe even talk to your dads.  I’m sure they do it raw.  We could find out how long they waited after they were exclusive.”

The thought of talking to my dads about this made me nervous.  Dad still thinks of me as a little kid sometimes, ironically even more so since I turned eighteen. 

Nodding against Jeff’s chest, I reluctantly agreed.  “Okay.  We can talk to them, but I don’t want them to be the last word.”

“They won’t be.  Our sex life is ours alone.  We make the ultimate decisions; but I do want to think about this first.  It’s a huge step.”

“You do want to stay exclusive?”  I was beginning to wonder if I’d misjudged.

“You bet your ass I do!  I just don’t know if we’re old enough for this -- to be honest, Gus, I thought we both felt it was better to wait until after college, but maybe you’re right.  Why punish ourselves with waiting when we know it’s always gonna be you and me?”

“I love you, Jeff.”  It was the only thing I could think to say as I embraced him even tighter, if that was possible.

We held each other close, kissing and gently nipping at each other’s lips, cheeks, chins, and lobes.  It wasn’t heated, yet it felt more intimate than the amazing love we’d experienced just a few minutes earlier.

All too soon we knew it was time to get up and shower.  Dad and Pop would be home from Babylon soon and it was getting pretty damn late, even for a weekend.  They were meeting their friends for some kind of celebration.  I think it was some anniversary of Uncle Ted’s sobriety and Uncle Blake wanted to make a big night of it.  They’d been joking about him turning fifteen.

In the morning Jeff and I would share our feelings with Dad and Pop about doing it raw and we’d get their input.  Hopefully, they’d see how close we are and understand that waiting any longer wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference in our relationship.

After cleaning up, I peacefully went to sleep, ensconced in Jeff’s arms.  It was how I hoped to sleep every night, for the rest of my life, as soon as we were old enough to get a place together.

My dads just had to support us.  After all, surely it would be obvious to them that we were ready to take the next step in our relationship, wouldn’t it?

[TBC]

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