The Gus Diaries

Part 120

Is It Time


 

Sunday morning breakfasts with my dads are the best. I know it sounds like a cliché from decades past, but it’s great sitting around the table on the deck by the pool with Dad, Pop, and Jeff. It’s one of the things I love the most about the summer.

Jeff is usually the last one downstairs. He’s mastered the art of sleeping late better than anyone I know. He’s lucky, even when he has a shift at the diner on a Sunday, Jeff always seems to manage to score an afternoon shift.

“Jeff rivals your father in his younger days.” Dad swatted Pop’s arm playfully last week when he made the comparison.

“Do you think these are my older days? I’ll have you know I could sleep late if I wanted to, but I prefer enjoying life, rather than throwing it away spending time alone in bed.”

“I remember a time when you relished spending the entire day in bed.” Pop smirked and I nearly gagged.

“That’s true; but if you recall I wasn’t alone.” Dad raised an eyebrow.

I thought Pop would spit out his coffee. “You just can’t accept the fact that you’ve gotten used to a normal life that doesn’t include Babylon and three hours of sleep at least four nights a week.”

My eyes widened as I stared at Dad. “You went to Babylon four nights a week and worked full-time! How did you do it?”

Dad glared at Pop. “Let’s just say that some forms of art aren’t limited to the canvas and I was drawn to mine.”

Pop started laughing out loud, and it didn’t take much for me to figure out what Dad was referring to either. I’m not deaf, dumb, and blind.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

This week, for the first time, I was the last one downstairs. “Hey.”

“Hey, newbie. It’s about time you rose from the dead.”

If I wasn’t so tired I would have smacked Jeff. “Should I explain to my young, virile fathers, in vivid detail, just why I’m so exhausted this morning, or would you like to live to see another breakfast spread like this one?”

“Gus, may I remind you there’s absolutely nothing either of you could tell me that would shock me. I’ve seen it all.” Dad set aside his newspaper and took a sip of his coffee.

“You mean you’ve done it all, don’t you?” Pop gave Dad a sideways glance.

“Ahhh, Sunshine, it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other, let's not quibble over semantics.” Dad shrugged. “Besides, the point is still the same. Oh, and by the way, Sonny Boy, if you want us to continue to have your better half stay with us you’ll keep any details I don’t want, or need, to hear to yourself.”

“Got it, Dad.” I grabbed a cup of coffee and a waffle from the serving cart near the table and joined the three of them.

Once my eyes truly started to open, and my thoughts awakened to something other than the memory of Jeff’s hot cock inside me for the third time late last night (or maybe it was very early this morning), it became clear my fathers and Jeff were all in on some secret I wasn’t privy to.

“If you guys keep staring at each other and don’t include me, I’ll just leave you all to your little inside scoop and ask Uncle Michael if I could go in and do some stocking for extra cash today.”

Jeff took my hand and squeezed it. Now I was getting worried. “I’m shitty at deception. Sorry if I made you feel awkward in your own home.”

“Now you’re scaring me.” I looked into Jeff’s eyes. “What the fuck is going on?”

He turned to my dads who started looking at each other in that irritating way they do when they’re having a non-verbal conversation.

“Gus, now that you’re about to turn eighteen... well, you see there’s someone who wants to...” Pop was stumbling over every few words. I was wondering if Uncle Ben was sick or something. He’d been so healthy lately; it couldn’t be.

I put down my fork and scanned each of my dads’ faces for a clue. “Is Uncle Ben okay?”

Dad took a quick sip of his coffee and rolled his eyes. “You know, Justin, you could set off a panic if you’re not careful.” Then he looked directly at me. “The Professor is fine, other than the fact that he can still compete with Ted for most boring conversationalist in a room.”

Pop glared at Dad. “Fine, you tell him, ask him, whatever the fuck your plan is.” I could hear the nervous edge in Pop’s voice and I didn’t like it one bit.

Jeff squeezed my hand again and I looked at him, trying to plead with my eyes for someone to tell me what was going on.

“Your mother wants to see you for your birthday,” Dad blurted out as if he was asking me to pass the sugar.

My mouth hung open but nothing came out.

“She knows you don’t want a party, just a special dinner and she wants to be a part of that. Since she actually gave birth to you I told her I’d consider it as long as you two weren’t alone. Then Justin reminded me you were about to turn eighteen and should probably be a part of the decision. So here it is. Now you can work on your first adult decision as you approach the age to do everything but drink... legally.”

It had been a long time since I’d communicated with my mother. We’d seen each other from a distance at the gallery, but I hadn’t spoken a word to her in ages. “Uhm,” was all I could come out with.

“Sunshine, I think you might want to share your extensive linguistics abilities with our son. He seems to be having a challenge with the English language.” Dad was trying to sound calm and cool about all of this, but one look at him rolling his lips inward told a different story.

Now I understood why they made sure Jeff would be near me for moral support. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I had gotten comfortable with the separation from my mother. The stress from our last attempt to get together was a distant memory.

Jenny hadn’t seen her for a while either. She was reveling in helping Mem organize an autumn wedding in Pittsburgh. Mem and Marie thought it would be a beautiful time to marry. Personally, I think using the word beautiful in the same sentence with Pittsburgh is reaching.

“Dad, before I say anything, did you already tell Mom it was okay to join us for my birthday celebration, or is this really my call?”

“No, Sonny Boy, I didn’t. This is one decision that you need to make on your own. I shared my opinion, as limited as it is, but the final choice belongs to you alone.”

“Pop, what do you think? You see Mom at the gallery all the time and actually interact with her. Do you think we should have her as part of my birthday dinner?”

Jeff went back to eating slowly. I think it was his way of trying to keep his mouth busy so he wouldn’t have to comment. I know he’s not fond of Mom’s past behavior, but he also has mixed emotions about being separated from family. While he loves my family and Grandma Jen and Tucker are great foster parents, he still wishes he had more of a relationship with his mother.

Pop took a deep breath before he spoke. “All I can tell you is your Mom is a talented and hard worker. She’s been painting too. A few pieces are on display at the gallery -- they’re that good.”

“But what about her people skills?”

“She can sell a painting to anyone who walks in the gallery and can afford it, and Grandma Debbie seems to think she’s been doing quite well with her therapy, but that’s just hearsay. The choice is yours.”

“Fuck!” I threw down my napkin, no longer hungry, and picked up my coffee cup. Standing up, I threw back over my shoulder, “I need to take a walk. I’ll stay on the grounds of Britin.” I was still in a pair of boxers and no shirt since the weather had been blisteringly hot and the morning was already quite warm.

“Gus, Newbie.”

“Please, stay here, Jeff. Don’t worry, I’m not angry. I just need time to think with no distractions.”

“Okay.”

I walked up to him and put my cup down. Threading my fingers in his hair I crashed my lips to his. His eyes were shiny when we pulled apart. “I love you, Jeff, but I have to be alone right now.”

As I walked away from the table I heard Pop’s voice. “Sometimes he can be just like you, Brian.”

I knew what he meant. I’d seen Dad’s walls and the way he could shut down when bad stuff touched his life. Maybe shutting down was less painful than spilling my guts. It was worth a try because I didn’t even know if I wanted my mother in my life... ever again.

[TBC]

Return to The Gus Diaries