The Gus Diaries

Part 11

Thanksgiving

Last night started out like any typical Thanksgiving Day weekend. Well, I guess that’s if anything can be called typical in my family.

Mom and Mem came in last night with Jenny and we all really enjoyed seeing each other again. After everyone gave each other lots of hugs and kisses Jenny blurted out, “So how’s that hottie of yours? Is he still in the picture?” She definitely has Grandma Deb’s genes in her.

My moms had the nerve to stop everything, put their hands on their hips and instructed me not to ignore my sister. I was beginning to see a set-up but I really couldn’t give a shit. It’s not like I had anything to hide.

“My hottie, who’s name is Jeff, so I wish you’d use it since he’s gonna be here tomorrow, is just fine. I’ll let him know you cared enough to ask about him.” I could tell that Dad was proud of how I handled the situation. I just thought, what would Dad do?

I remember once, when I was at Kinnetik and Dad got called away to a phone call, Uncle Ted was giving a pep talk to a junior account exec. The guy was kind of nervous about some presentation. Maybe it was going to be his first—who knows. Uncle Ted told him that if things got dicey he should pause and think, ‘What would Brian Kinney do?’ It was only a few weeks ago, but I’ve tried to remember that.

Having my moms and sister around last night was a lot better than I expected it to be. Dad and Justin lit the fire in the big-ass fireplace and we all sat around and had coffee, cocoa and some snacks. Jenny told all of us how fucking cold it is in Canada, which got a language alert from my moms. They can be so lame. Dad just told Jenny to make sure she uses a lot of good quality moisturizer or her skin or she’ll start to resemble a crocodile. Jenny started to laugh at that, but Dad was dead serious, which made the rest of us laugh even louder, especially Justin.

“Hey, Sunshine, what are you laughing at? Should I give everyone a tour of all the products you use now to keep that boyish glow?”

“Brian, I thought was our little secret.”

“Not any more,” Mem chimed in as she continued to chuckle. Her laugh is so deep that it reminds of one of the guys on my basketball team. I think I’ll keep that to myself. I wouldn’t want to get on Mem’s shit list right before Hanukah and Christmas.

“So, Gus sweetheart, how’s school and all your activities going? I know you talk to us regularly but I just want to make sure that you’re not overdoing it.”

“Lindsay, leave him alone. He’s doing great. Remember whose genes he has coursing through him.”

“I do remember, that’s why I’m concerned.” That got a good snort from Dad and Justin couldn’t help but smirk.

“Brian, let’s face it…as time goes on, more of us are on to you each day.” Justin loudly whispered into Dad’s ear as he ran his hand over Dad’s shoulders. Those two are always touching.

Anyway, the night went on peacefully and soon Mem brought Jenny upstairs to her room. It was obvious she was getting tired since she got really quiet and kept trying to cover up her yawns.

While she was gone, Dad and MJ filled Mom in on my schedule for the next day. Without letting me know in advance, they also brought up the Martins and my suspicions about them.

“Dad, how could you tell her?” I whined. I can get pretty childish sometimes.

MJ answered, “Gus, you know that you have four parents who love you and respect you, right?”

“Yeah, so?” I was standing, almost ready to stamp my foot, I was so pissed off.

“All four of us made a commitment to raise you the best way we can. We can’t do that if we don’t know the important information that impacts your life.” I hate when Justin makes sense, especially since he usually stays so calm and cool while I’m ready to kick the logs by the side of the hearth.

“I know but this is about Jeff’s parents, not mine.”

“Exactly, and since you’ll be in that environment tomorrow we all need to be prepared in case you need to make a hasty retreat, or in case something unforeseen should happen.”

“Well, since Jeff and I don’t plan to jerk each other off at the dinner table…”

Mem walked in at that point, “What the fuck are you talking about?” (And she wonders where Jenny gets her trash mouth from.)

Mom filled Mem in on the topic for the evening and I just folded my arms and pouted. Sometimes that regression problem I have can remain prolonged if I get my mind wrapped around it.

“Gus, why the fuck would you want to put yourself into that setting?” Mem asked rather firmly.

“That’s what I wanted to know when he talked to us about it.” Oh, no, now Dad was in on this. He’s such a heterophobe that I had the feeling this wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Stop!” Everyone froze. Mom rarely raises her voice, kind of like MJ. “Gus, do you have any reservations about going to Jeff’s house? Did he push you to accept the invitation in any way?”

“No, Mom. I really want to be there with him, and for him.”

“Then that’s it. Any arguments from any of you?” Everyone else shook their heads and I think I saw Justin smiling a bit, but I figured I shouldn’t point that out. “Gus, have a good time and know that whatever you do, you have four parents who love and respect your decisions about everything.”

With that Mom got up and took Mem’s hand. “Mel, I’m tired and tomorrow is a big day. Let’s go to bed.” Mem quietly got up, kissed me goodnight and went upstairs closely followed by Mom.

I said goodnight to Dad & MJ and went upstairs myself. I really was tired and I wanted to look good and refreshed for Thanksgiving. As I left the room I heard MJ say to Dad, “She really does have some hidden fire under that WASPy exterior.”

“Yes, Sunshine, she can pack a punch with the best of them.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same side. I’m not sure I’d want to be her enemy.”

“Neither would I, neither would I. My guess is Salome would have trouble defeating Lindsay in a battle of wills.”

They both laughed, and then there was no sound. I knew they were at it again so I just went up to my room. I always knew Mom was smart, but apparently she’s pretty strong too.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

This morning started out as I would have expected.

Jenny and I were the first to get up. We went down to the kitchen and I made her scrambled eggs and toast. She was duly impressed by my new culinary achievements. I told her that MJ was great in a kitchen, and he actually liked to cook so we always had lots of good and tasty food. That got her good and jealous. She’s stuck with Mom and Mem’s basic cooking and Uncle Ben’s disgusting heath food.

Next MJ came downstairs. His hair was flopping in all kinds of crazy directions. He was wearing sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. He seemed kind of out of it and made his way to the freezer to get the coffee and then to the coffee pot to get it going. I never make the coffee. The one time I tried, before Dad realized it was me who made it, he got all irate about how shitty it was and wondered what the fuck had happened. He did apologize, sort of, after MJ told him who was responsible but we all agreed that coffee was NOT my domain.

MJ looked at us, but at first he was in a sort of daze. He and Dad get like that in the morning. They always tell me it’s that they just aren’t morning people, but I know it’s that they’re always post-orgasmic when they finally venture out of the master bedroom. I’m just glad that my room is all the way at the other end of the hall. Out of sight, out of mind does have some merits.

As I knew he would, Dad slowly walked in soon after. He looks fairly similar to MJ, just without the hoodie. He was wearing a wifebeater with his sweats.

“You’re dads look kind of hot in the morning.” Jenny leaned over and whispered. Whispering is not her best thing. Dad burst out laughing.

“Let’s keep that between the four of us. We wouldn’t want your moms going into shock.”

MJ tilted his head and smirked, then got the coffees for him and Dad. Even on Thanksgiving their routines in the morning don’t change.

Mom and Mem finally came down to the kitchen together. It was obvious that they’d already showered and were ready to have breakfast and start preparing things for our dinner with the family later at night.

All systems were go and I disappeared with the excuse that I wanted to finish an article for the school paper that had to be ready for print on Monday…before someone asked me to cook something or clean something.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

At exactly 1:30 PM, Dad and I got into his Jeep for the ride to Jeff’s house. The agreement was that I’d get a ride there and Jeff would bring me home since he was going to join my family at night. Personally, I think Dad was so agreeable because it got him out of the house while everyone was setting up the table and making the food.

As we approached Jeff’s house Dad did a strange intake of breath and then almost yelled, “Holy shit!”

“What’s wrong Dad? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Sonny Boy, but I’m just glad that you didn’t show Justin the directions. He might have gone into shock.”

“Why, what’s up?”

“How long have the Martins lived here?”

“I don’t know. Jeff has an older sister and he said he’s lived in the same house his entire life. Dad, WHAT IS IT? You look kind of sick.”

“This is the house Justin grew up in. I can’t believe it. It’s like Craig listed it, ‘homophobes only need apply’.”

“No fucking way. You have to be wrong, you just have to be.”

“Let’s just say that I was only here once and the experience was memorable enough.”

“You’re not going to make me go home, are you?”

“No, it’s just a house. But you have to admit that it’s quite a strange coincidence.”

I got out of the car and my head was spinning. Dad walked up to the front door with me. He wanted to meet Mr. and Mrs. Martin and confirm the plans for the rest of the day.

Mr. Martin answered the door and greeted us nicely enough. Dad and he shook hands and confirmed the plans. All was set and then Mr. Martin added, “I see you got away from the Misses, I wish I could escape for a couple of hours but at least the football game is a good distraction. Jeff told us you were married. It’s good to know that we’re not the only normal family left in the world. There are so many crazy, broken homes out there; one mother, one kid, one grandparent, one kid—it’s such a nightmare. I’m glad Jeff was able to makes friend with a kid with from a nice, normal family.”

I looked at Dad and he raised his eyebrow so high I thought it would fly right off his forehead. “Yes, we pride ourselves on having a nice normal home life for Gus. In fact PRIDE is a priority in our lives.”

“Yep, it’s great to be proud of our achievements. Jeff told us where you live. You must do pretty nicely for yourself. I hope your family appreciates it.”

I wanted to find a hole to crawl into at this point and noticed Jeff standing on the bottom of the staircase mouthing, “Oh fuck, what should we do?” I just shrugged and kept my mouth shut. I’m only good at thinking fast under pressure when I’m playing basketball and that’s only because the coach is there yelling what to do.

“I do make a pretty good living. I own an advertising agency right here in Pittsburgh. You may have heard of it or its reputation, Kinnetik.”

“Oh yeah, I remember hearing something about that agency at the club.” And then after a short pause the light bulb went off and Mr. Martin looked at Dad. “You are the owner of Kinnetik. I read all about you in the trade magazines. You’re, you’re, you’re…”

“I think the word you’re looking for is gay, and yes, I am. My misses name is Justin and you’re right, we do have a very happy, NORMAL, home life.”

Then Mr. Martin turned to Jeff and said, “Is this some kind of plot to get us to see that you’re really okay so we’ll give you permission to pursue this stupid phase you think you’re in? Or was it a joke to play on me and your mother?”

“Dad, I just wanted to spend Thanksgiving with Gus. I really care about him. He’s special to me.” At that point I blushed, but was smart enough to stay near my dad and say nothing.

“You’re sister is enough trouble, thinking it’s okay to live with her boyfriend but at least she’s normal. What’s your excuse? Is this some kind of teen experimentation or are you testing us?”

“Dad, please don’t do this? Can we just drop it?”

“Drop what, the fact that you’re hanging around with the son of two fags, although I can imagine why that came about…are you looking for advice on how to be a homo. And, I will not drop it.” Then Mr. Martin looked directly at Dad and said, “Are you trying to convert him or something?”

“Actually, until your son met mine, Gus didn’t know if he was gay, but Jeff was too hard to resist.” Mr. Martin looked like he was going to explode, his face started turning red, but Dad continued, “Look, I don’t care what you do in your own home, but you have a great kid here. He’s smart, athletic, gets good grades, from what I hear, AND he’s good looking. Don’t alienate him for some petty bigoted attitudes that are archaic, at best.”

“Get out of my house and take your gay son with you. My son will stay here and respect his family.”

Now I started to panic. I didn’t want to go, but I was more worried about Jeff then anything else. He was more than just embarrassed, he was really devastated. Then Mrs. Martin came out of the kitchen and Mr. Martin gave her the abbreviated version of what just happened. All she did was look at Jeff and say, “How could you bring all this into the house on Thanksgiving? You’ll ruin the day for all of us.”

I was shocked. I think Dad was, too. Something in my dad suddenly changed. He stood up straight and tall and looked at Jeff and the Martins, “Jeff, sometimes an environment can breed an atmosphere of hate. I believe this one actually does. I think you’re a smart, young man and can think for yourself. If you would like to come home with Gus and me you are more than welcome, but I can’t leave Gus in this house. I won’t twist your arm, but you’re better than this.” And he just looked at Mr. Martin.

“Get the fuck out of my house!”

“That seems to always be my exit line in this place.” Dad looked at me and there were a few tears trailing down my face, but I tried to stay calm. Then Dad looked at Jeff who was obviously stricken with some sort of deep pain, “Jeff, are you coming?”

Jeff looked at me and Dad and then his parents. He ran up the stairs, grabbed his overnight duffel and his jacket and ran back down before we’d finished walking out the door. Even Dad seemed pretty emotional about all this. It was kind of creepy, so Jeff just got in the back seat of the Jeep and the three of us sat quietly all the way to West Virginia.

“Maybe they’ll realize this is real now,” Jeff broke the silence as we were getting close to the house.

“They won’t,” Dad said flatly.

“But Dad, you never know.” I pleaded, trying to help Jeff through this.

“I know. Jeff, you’ll need to talk to your parents, but you’re welcome to stay at our house as long as you need to.” Then Dad got quiet again.

The thought of Jeff staying with us for a while seemed kind of cool…but not for this reason. This totally sucked, and not in a positive way!

We arrived home and it was only about 3:00 PM. Mom and Mem had taken Jenny for a walk around the grounds. MJ took one look at the three of us and said, “Oh shit, what the fuck happened.”

“Sunshine, you wouldn’t believe it if you’d been there.”

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

Jeff and I went up to my room to decompress. There’s really no better word for it. I knew that Dad would be filling Justin in on all the details. Every once in a while I could hear MJ yell, “Fuck!” It didn’t matter what part of the whole messed up scene he was talking about—it applied to all of it anyway.

Jeff looked at me and was so sad. It was like I was seeing inside him for the first time. I took a seat on the end of my bed and asked him if he wanted to join me. He just nodded, put his duffel down in the corner of my room and then sat down next to me.

Then he put his head in his hands and leaned forward. I think I heard him gasp a bit and then he choked out, “What the fuck am I going to do now?” I didn’t know what to say so I just put my arm around his shoulders and started to rub his arm. He seemed to relax a bit and then looked at me. I could see the wet streaks on his cheeks and I wiped one away with my other hand.

I wasn’t sure if I really should, but I brought his face in closer to mine and then I kissed him, hoping it would say everything in actions that I couldn’t in words. It must have worked because he kissed me back just as hard. When we stopped we put our foreheads together and decided it was time to go downstairs.

We found Mom and Mem, and even Jenny listening to Dad re-tell the events of the afternoon. They were all quiet except for Mem, who took up where MJ left off saying, “Fuck!” every once in a while. Dad was pacing and Mem was fuming. Mom had a sad look on her face and Jenny was in shock.

Then Mem finally said, “When Gus was almost five years old we moved to Canada so we could live freer lives. Linds and I also knew that we could legally marry there.”

“Where the fuck is this leading,” Dad looked at her with anger in his eyes.

“Just shut the fuck up and listen. You said that we were running and that wasn’t the lesson you wanted to teach Gus. Well as a five year old he didn’t need to learn those hard lessons but as a young man he does need to learn to stay and fight for his rights.

“Pennsylvania has come a long way in support of gay rights but there are still those out there who would love to take it away. We may have been gone for 8 ½ years but I think it’s time we came back as a family and joined the fight in our own home town.”

“Mel and I were going to tell you all at dinner tonight, but the three of us are coming home and obviously none to soon.”

Then Jenny chimed in, “See, Gus, I can keep a secret sometimes.” Then she winked at me.

Dad looked at Mom and whispered, “Linds, what about Gus?” which was exactly what I was wondering. Jeff took my hand. It seemed like both of us needed support today.

“Brian, I believe Gus is learning everything he needs to know beautifully in the home you’ve created with Justin. That will not change. We’ll just be able to see Gus more and participate in his life more actively.” Then Mom walked over to me and gave me a hug, “I miss you and want to be close by and so do Mem and JR.”

Well, that was a relief. Except now I would be getting to have more of my family close by and Jeff was still alone. Then the phone rang and Jenny picked it up. She called Jeff and told him his mother was on the phone. Dad and MJ, hell all of us, were very concerned.

Jeff took the call in the kitchen. After a few minutes we heard him hang up and then Dad, MJ and I went in. I sat next to Jeff but didn’t say a word. MJ was so cool, “Jeff is there anything you need to tell us. Do you need us to drive you home?”

He huffed, “That won’t be necessary. My parents don’t feel that I’m part of the family if I insist on making this choice for my lifestyle.” He sounded as cold as ice as he spoke and I wanted to call them back and scream at them.

“They said if I want to be a faggot I should live with faggots and that they certainly wouldn’t continue paying my tuition after this semester because they don’t have a son who’s a fag. I knew this would come sooner or later, but I kept hoping that it would be later.”

Brian touched Justin’s hand and he in turn touched Jeff’s. “Jeff, you were planning to stay with us for the weekend anyway. We’ll figure something out, but in the meantime please don’t worry about your tuition, that won’t be an issue. When your parents calm down I know just the person to talk to them and we’ll resolve this all so you no longer have to hide in your own home.”

MJ looked at Dad, “It’s about time that my family gave back in thanks for some of what we were given when I came out. I think my mom would love to visit the old house, even if just to wish it good riddance.” Then MJ turned to us and said “I think it’s about time we all got ready for dinner. Jeff we are pleased and privileged to have you as part of our family celebration. Anyone who cares about our son IS family and from the looks of things, you more than qualify.”

Jeff took my hand and we walked upstairs to freshen up for dinner.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

The feast was just that, a huge feast. Everyone brought enough food to sink a battleship…twice! Uncle Ben even brought something that actually tasted good despite the fact that it was low fat and vegetarian.

Everyone at the table chattered and discussed everything from Grandma Deb’s new sofa to Uncle Emmett’s latest crazy client. Jeff loved talking to Uncle Drew about all sorts of sports and Grandpa Carl joined in happily.

At one point MJ disappeared to get dessert ready and to make the coffee. He asked for help from Jeff and Grandma Jen. When they returned to the table Grandma Jen took her partner, (they never got married because Grandma Jen wants to be independent) Tucker, into the kitchen to help bring out one more platter. When they returned she had a huge smile on her face.

She stood up and proposed that each of us say one thing we were thankful for. I thought it was kind of corny and I wasn’t sure why she was doing this. I looked at Jeff, concerned that he would be really upset now but he seemed pretty content and was almost smiling.

Each person went around the table and when it was Jenny’s turn she got to make the announcement that she, Mem and Mom were moving back to Pittsburgh. Uncle Michael jumped out of his seat, picked her up and swung her around cheering. We all had something special to say. I added that I was thankful for getting to live with my dads and meeting someone as great as Jeff.

When it was Jeff’s turn I started biting my thumbnail I was so nervous. He stood up and said, “I’m thankful that because of Gus I’m finally able to live my life true to myself and…that it looks like I won’t have to live on the streets because Ms. Taylor and Mr. Nelson have asked me to move in with them.” I couldn’t believe it. This was the best news yet.

Then Grandma Jen added, “I’m thankful that I will finally be able to raise a teenage boy to adulthood in my own very tolerant home.” She winked at MJ and Grandma Deb but I really wasn’t sure why. I just knew that I was so happy for Jeff.

After everyone had left Jeff and I approached Dad and MJ while they were putting away a few last containers of leftovers. (We had enough to have Thanksgiving all over again if we wanted to.)

“Mr. Kinney, Mr. Taylor I really want to thank you both. For the first time I feel like I have adults in my life who care about me even when they know who I really am. I didn’t tell Gus all the details of what it was like to live in my house, but the future looks a lot better than the past was. Gus has been my lucky charm. He’s a special guy from a very special family. Well, thank you both for everything.” Jeff tipped his head down. He looked so sweet, but I’d never tell him that.

“Dad, we’re going upstairs now, okay?”

“Sure, goodnight boys and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Dad can be so transparent.

“Brian, that definitely doesn’t leave ANYTHING out.” MJ added.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you said that.” I was so embarrassed but Jeff just laughed.

We went upstairs and then I remembered that I wanted to get us a couple of water bottles to have in the room for overnight. As I approached the bottom of the stairs I heard MJ, “I’m glad that we can help Jeff. Just like you and Deb helped me.”

“At least Mother Taylor was still there for you. This kid is on his own.” I could see the shadow of MJ walking towards Dad and the two of them holding each other.

“I felt so alone when I lost Craig, but knowing I had you and Deb meant everything. I want Jeff to know what it’s like to be cared for unconditionally.”

“You know that I’ll always care about you unconditionally.”

“I know.”

“Some memories die hard.”

“And some return with the ability to right them in another universe.”

“Sunshine, I’m thankful for so much but most of all you. Without you, I wouldn’t have learned the meaning of happiness. But I don’t need a holiday to remember that. I know it every day.”

“Me, too.”

“I know.”

Then they stopped talking and when I noticed their arms moving while they were still close I decided that tap water would have to do for the night.

When I returned upstairs Jeff was in his sweatpants, shirtless and fast asleep. Then I decided to write this entry while it was fresh in my mind. I never want to forget this day for so many reasons…both good and bad.

Now I think I’ll put on my sweats and join him—this time it’ll be my turn to hold him.

Happy Thanksgiving to me!

 

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