The Gus Diaries

Part 109

Resolution II



 

The morning of New Year’s Eve I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I knew it was more about the resolution that was to begin at midnight than something I had eaten. I needed to let Jeff go. He didn’t need some kid at home tying him down.

“Hey, Newbie, you seem a little out of it this morning.” Jeff walked out of my bathroom toweling his hair dry. God, he’s so fucking beautiful! “In fact, you were kind of out of it last night too. Are you coming down with something?”

“No, Jeff, I’m fine. Just looking forward to our night tonight.”

He walked over, tossing the towel to the side, and kissed me, his hair dripping against my cheek. It felt so warm and the chilling water heated up as we prolonged the kiss.

“How are you feeling this morning? I didn’t think you’d be up so early.”

“Neither did I -- guess I’m getting used to the school schedule... late to bed, early to rise.”

“Doesn’t sound like such a great schedule to me.”

He shrugged. “No big deal. I’m getting to enjoy everything about college and it’s hard to fit it all into a short day.”

“Not everything,” I murmured under my breath.

“What was that, Gus?”

“Nothing.” I gnawed on my thumb nail. “You know, I heard that guy last night. If you want to go to the party it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Jeff sat next to me, still naked. I wanted to run, but when he put his arm around me there was no way I could leave his side. “Maybe you don’t mind, but I have every intention of keeping you to myself. I hate the thought of those other guys looking at you like you’re there to feed all their fucking fantasies -- and I mean that literally.”

I laughed. “I just don’t want you to miss out. I’ve already screwed up your first semester; we can’t keep doing this.” Shit! I hadn’t meant to blurt that out.

He practically jumped off the bed and stood up, hands on his hips. It would have been funny seeing him looking at me in that pose, if his eyes weren’t so narrowed and piercing. That old saying, If looks could kill..., came to mind.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Who the hell told you I was missing out on anything... or anyone, since I assume that’s what you’re really referring to?”

Saying nothing, I moved to the head of the bed and leaned back against the pillows.

“Do you think I’ve been fucking around on you? Is that what this is all about?”

“No! No way. It’s just that--” I looked down, unable to meet his angry glare.

“Then what’s going on?” He paused and then brushed a hand over his face. “Holy shit! You met someone else. Just my goddamn luck. I finally find someone to love and as soon as I’m stupid enough to leave him for days, and sometimes weeks on end, someone else fills the fucking void.”

My eyes widened. This wasn’t at all what I was expecting. “Jeff... wait... no!”

He started putting on his pants, going commando, but I don’t think it was on purpose. “I’ve gotta get the hell out of here.” He turned to me so fast I thought his neck would snap. “It’s that asshole, Jeremy, isn’t it? He finally convinced you to--”

“Stop! You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I got off the bed and moved cautiously behind Jeff. Wrapping my arms around him, I rested my head between his shoulder blades. I could feel his heart racing. This was going all wrong.

He was supposed to be happy that I was letting him off the hook. Now he could enjoy his freedom... and maybe someday, when I went to college we could get back together... if he still wanted me.

Instead he was ranting, shirtless. At least holding him from behind I didn’t have to look at him.

Unfortunately, he turned in my arms. His brow was furrowed and his body blotched, a scowl on his face like none I’d ever seen before. He looked worse than the day his father kicked him out.

Prying my arms off his waist, he walked to my desk chair and gripped it as if it were the only thing keeping him from collapsing. “I thought you loved me,” he choked. “I thought I could trust you.”

“Fuck it!” I immediately made my way to his side. “I love you more than anything. That’s why I don’t want to hold you back -- keep you from having the whole college experience.”

Jeff looked at me as if I’d just grown another head.

“I’m not seeing anyone else -- especially not Jeremy. There’s no one else in this whole damn world I want. I know I’m just a kid, but you’re it for me. Don’t ask me how I know, but I do.”

“Then why don’t you trust that I could possibly feel the same way?”

Lowering my head, I rested my hand over one of Jeff’s, which was still plastered to the chair. “Well, my dad said that people change, especially when their living situations change. And I got the feeling you might start feeling trapped. And--”

“Forget all the Ands.” Jeff’s voice softened, the anger fading. “The only thing that’s changed as far as I’m concerned is that living with you this past week has reminded me of how much I want to do this full time as soon as we can.”

Standing up tall and facing me, I realized Jeff hadn’t even closed his pants. They rested, open, on his hips. His breathing began to even as he calmed. The more he spoke about our relationship, the more his coloring returned to normal.

“Is this the ridiculous resolution you were going to make? Were you going to set me free? That’s totally fucked.”

I looked Jeff in the eyes. “I hate being considered your ball and chain.”

“That asshole at the diner didn’t know what he was talking about. I’ve never used that term, or any like it, when talking about you. You’re about as far from a ball and chain as I can imagine.” Jeff held my upper arms firmly. I knew he’d leave a mark in his wake but I didn’t care. “The only one I want as my partner, lover, boyfriend -- whatever the fuck you want to call us -- is you. Do you have any idea how happy you make me?”

Silently I continued to look into Jeff’s eyes searching for the truth.

“If not, I’d better show you.”

The adrenalin Jeff built up in the wake of his anger returned, but to my benefit this time. He grabbed me, pulling me close. With one arm around my back and his other hand holding my head in place he crashed his lips down on mine.

It might have been the hottest kiss I’ve ever experienced with him, filled with passion and hunger. His tongue explored and tasted. I responded, wanting him with just as much passion and hunger.

My fingers were tangled in Jeff’s hair, keeping him close, never wanting to let go. He continued his assault on my lips as I moaned, wanting more, so much more.

Without warning he let go and pushed me on the bed. I was shaking with a combination of need and frustration at the loss of contact, and anticipation of what would come next.

He grabbed my T-shirt and whipped it over my head. I lay back and started to pull off my sweatpants, but he slapped my hands away, hard.

Grabbing both sides of the elastic, Jeff yanked the pants off revealing my cock, stiff and moist, filled with desire.

“You’ll get it hot and hard today.” It was a statement and an order. “I’m gonna make sure you never forget today and how much I want you -- only you.” Eyes darkened, he hovered over me, pressing his lips against mine and then nipping my bottom lip. I felt dizzy with pleasure.

“Oh God.” I touched the waistband on his open jeans and he stepped away.

“I’m in charge now, Gus,” he whispered. His voice sent a chill up my spine. He was all around me. I could feel my skin heating up.

Jeff must have stepped out of his jeans because in the next moment he straddled me, naked. My knees were still bent, hanging over the end of the bed. He worked his way up my body until I could see his cock, stiff with a drop of moisture glowing on the tip. It was beautiful.

“Do you want it, Gus? Do you want to suck it? Take it down your hot throat and drink me dry?”

“Yes, please, yes!”

Hands bracing him on the bed, without another word he started fucking my mouth. Keeping me pinned down, he was in total control. His moans escalated in volume, and I could tell he was close to climaxing when, suddenly, he pulled out.

“No!”

“No arguing.” He nudged me, encouraging me to move up on the bed and I followed the unspoken instruction.

I would do anything to get him back inside me.

He quickly grabbed a lubed condom from the nightstand, ripping the package open with his teeth and putting it on in seconds.

“Legs up, now.” Seeing the determination in his expression, I immediately wrapped my legs around his back.

Before I had a chance to breathe I felt the tip of his hot cock at my entrance. He pressed in hard.

“Ahhh!”

“Do you feel that? I want you to always remember today.”

“Fuck! More!”

He pushed in hard and fast. I felt like I was being torn in half, and I loved every sensation.

He brushed the tip of his cock over my prostate with every thrust. I could feel myself spiraling away to another world.

He repeatedly slammed in and out, no pausing, no time to breathe, hitting my prostate every time.

“Gus, you’re mine.”

“Oh God!”

He stilled, and I shook as I came and shot stream after stream of creamy liquid onto our chests.

I felt the warmth from within and held him tight as I felt his cock soften inside me.

Pulling out slowly, a far cry from his earlier behavior, he removed the condom and tossed it off to the side.

Taking me in his arms, he started stroking my hair and kissing me on top of the head. I shuddered, starting to cry.

Clinging together, he drew the top sheet and comforter over us, never letting go.

Embracing me in his warmth he whispered. “Shhh. Happy New Year, Gus. This will be just one of many for us. I never want to let you go. You’re mine -- remember that.”

I nodded against his chest, wiping my eyes. “I’m sorry. It was a stupid idea.”

“It was. Just because your dad did some things doesn’t mean they were always right... or that they’re good ideas for us.”

“I love you, Jeff. I think I’ll always love you.”

“You’d better. Same for me, Newbie.”

We fell back to sleep, not joining Dad and Pop until lunch time.

It was going to be a great New Year and I did make one resolution -- no more resolutions.
 

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