The Gus Diaries

Part 108

Resolution
 

I can’t believe the New Year has come and gone and I’m still lucky enough to have Jeff with me. My resolution almost totally fucked up everything.

It all started a couple of days after Christmas. The holiday was terrific and Jeff and I were thoroughly enjoying having so much time together.

After talking it over with Dad, Pop, Grandma Jen, and Tucker, they’d agreed to let Jeff spend the entire winter break with me.

“You know, Sonny Boy, when you live with someone things can change. And sometimes, if you get too involved too early, it’s easier to fuck things up.”

Pop drew Dad in for a kiss. “But things can still work out in the end.”

Grandma Jen sat there smiling at my dads. I figured she must know what they’re talking about. I know Pop and Dad lived together for a little while after the bashing, but then they ended up breaking up for a few months.

Knowing Dad was talking from experience -- and not a good one -- I listened closely.

“Dad, we’ll be careful not to get on each other’s nerves.”

Jeff nudged me. “I don’t think they’re worried about us getting on each other’s nerves... more like taking each other for granted.”

I nodded. Jeff made sense. I remember the story about that violin player and how Pop thought that guy could give him everything Dad didn’t seem interested in giving. It would be important for Jeff and me to be careful.

After the meeting with the grown-ups Jeff brought a few more things over from Grandma’s house. My room was a bit cluttered so Dad offered him some space in one of the guest rooms. There are more than enough closets at Britin, even with my Dad’s insane wardrobe taking over several of them.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

On December 30th we both had to work, and would be finished at about the same time. I told Jeff I’d meet him at the diner so we could grab a bite together before heading back to Britin.

Closing Red Cape on December 30th went smoothly once Uncle Michael finally convinced a couple of regular customers to buy everything they were interested in, rather than only a small selection.

Those guys must have spent an hour in the store reading different comics. Uncle Michael was far more patient than I would have been, but it paid off with a big sale. The two left with over a dozen comics.

“Well, Gus, the year is almost over. Did you make any resolutions?”

We were locking up the last of the collectibles before leaving for the night.

“Naw. Every time I hear about someone making a resolution they seem to break it within a few days.”

Uncle Michael laughed. “I guess you could say that’s generally true.”

“Do you plan to make any resolutions?”

“Ben wants me to cut down on my nagging about his health.”

My eyes widened, and I wondered if there was something to worry about.

When Uncle Michael looked up he must have noticed my alarm. “Calm down, buddy. Ben is fine. In fact, he’s in the best shape he’s been in for ages. That’s the reason for the resolution -- so I won’t keep nagging and worrying.”

I nodded and remained silent, hoping he was being honest.

“I’ll never stop worrying about him, but it’s important I don’t overwhelm him and push him away with my nagging.”

“You mean let go of the choke hold.”

He snorted. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Any other resolutions?”

“Not really.” The two of us put on our jackets. “I always want to try to make more time to see JR and Hunter, but that’s nothing new.” After locking up the store he looked at me. “Can I drop you off somewhere?”

“No, I’m good -- just heading to the diner. Jeff and I are going to grab a bite before heading home.”

Uncle Michael huffed. “It was hard enough to deal with Hunter heading home with someone special, but I still can’t believe you’re so involved at your age... or that your Dad hasn’t discouraged it considering his history.”

I shrugged and started walking toward the Liberty Diner. Uncle Michael’s words kept turning over in my mind. I was sure he was overdramatizing things as always. Although, he was right about Dad’s concern.

When I opened the door to the diner, relieved to get out of the arctic blast of air we were experiencing in Pittsburgh, I spotted Jeff hang up his apron and then go sit in a booth near the back. Before I got close to the table, I was surprised to see a real hottie take the seat across from him.

I bit my lip to keep myself from saying anything stupid. It’s not like they were even sitting next to each other.

It was only a few seconds until I was within earshot.

“Yeah, well it’s too bad you’re stuck with the ball and chain. You’re gonna miss a fucking fabulous party. A lot of the guys from your team will be there -- they know where to find the best action. Just so you know, it’s an open invitation. The Alliance hosts the best parties for straights and gays... and their dates. Bring your boy toy if you want.”

Jeff smiled. “I’ll talk to him, but we’re planning a quiet night at his house, so don’t count on me being there.”

“Too bad, a looker like you could have the night of his life with anyone, and everyone, who’ll be there.”

“I’m sure I’ll have the time of my life anyway.”

The hottie stood up as I approached. He brushed his fingers over Jeff’s shoulder. I wanted to slug him, but thought better of it.

“Excuse me, you’re blocking my seat.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Hey, Gus, this is a guy from CMU’s GSA. He was just leaving.”

The guy looked me up and down, resting his eyes on my package. Asshole!

“Hey, Jeff, I can see why you stay in line and behave. I wouldn’t want to risk losing that one either. If you brought him to the party, he’d make a great addition.” The fucker winked at Jeff, and then made his way to another table where a guy moved over to give him room to join them.

I knew Jeff was going to just laugh it off and I wasn’t in the mood for that. Sliding into the booth, next to Jeff, I turned to him. Crashing our lips together, I shoved my tongue into his mouth exploring aggressively. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I held him in place, not letting up on the onslaught, sending a message loud and clear.

“Hey, we try to keep the action in the kitchen only. This is a fucking restaurant, not the backroom at Babylon.”

I looked up, my lips still tingling -- knowing they must look red and swollen. “Hi, Grandma. Happy New Year.”

She cracked her gum. “Uh huh. Care to order, young man, or are you just here to sightsee?”

Blushing, I gave her my order, as did Jeff.

“That was some hello, Newbie. Marking your territory?” Jeff raised an eyebrow.

I wanted to deny it, but it would have been a lie... and a transparent one. “What if I was?”

“Nothing. It’s fun to see you get jealous.” Jeff kissed me again, not as forcefully, and pressed his hand against my tightening jeans. “You’re getting hard just thinking about that guy anywhere near me -- it’s fucking hot.”

Jeff’s whispers alone could make me come in my pants -- something I definitely did NOT want to do.

Pushing his hand away, I looked into his eyes. He was an amazing and honest person. I knew he would never cheat on me, but at the same time it was clear being with me was holding him back.

He had a whole new world to experience at CMU, but was restricting his activities because of me. I didn’t want to go through life being his ball and chain. That made no sense, especially at our age.

Although it was the last thing I wanted, I knew I had to let him go so he could enjoy his life. Hopefully, he wouldn’t leave me totally behind, so we could still have a chance to reunite when I was old enough to really be the person he needed by his side.

It seemed clear that this must have been the message Dad was trying to send. Not to crowd Jeff -- let him go and have fun... even if it would make me miserable.

After Grandma put our food in front of us I turned to Jeff and ghosted my fingers over his cheek. “You know I love you.”

“I count on it.” He took a bite of his burger.

“Good.” I sipped my drink, having lost my appetite. “Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution?”

“Sure, a million... all broken.” He grinned. Shit! Jeff has the most incredible smile.

“I really never have, but I think I might this year.”

“Cool -- if you’re into that kind of thing.” He shrugged as he continued chewing. “Care to share, or is it some kind of secret so you won’t be embarrassed if you fuck it up?”

Resting my head on his shoulder as he kept eating, I whispered, “It’s a secret, but I don’t intend to go back on it.”

I thought of that stupid quote Mom or Mem once told me about letting the butterfly go free and if it doesn’t come back it was never truly yours.

I hate butterfly analogies.

[TBC]
 

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