The Gus Diaries

Part 105

Shopping
 

Thanksgiving at Britin was more insane than a three-ring circus. Everyone was there and the whole family was talking at the same time. I loved it. The best part, besides Jeff having a four-day weekend with me, was Mom being there.

I know Grandma Deb, Pop, and Dad had a few conversations about inviting her -- I was home when they had the last one.

“Deb, you know how she’s behaved toward Gus, and what she did to Brian. I’m not sure she’s ready to spend the day with us, and to be perfectly honest I’m not sure I’m ready to see her. Lindsay hurt the people I love most in the world.” Pop definitely has a way with words.

“Look Sunshine, she’s been doing so much better. Lindsay’s dating, but remaining careful. She’s not looking to latch onto just anyone who shows an interest; instead she’s focusing on her art and her job at the Gallery.”

I sat in the corner drinking a soda and watching Dad. He hadn’t said a word -- just kept looking at the picture of him holding me when I was born. It was kind of creepy.

Grandma turned her focus to Dad. “Brian, what do you think? You don’t have to be alone with her -- hell, with the mob that’ll be here you don’t even have to talk to her.”

Dad stood up and walked over to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Lindsay is Gus’ mother. I think the final decision should be his.”

“Me! Britin is your house, not mine.” The last thing I wanted was to be responsible for another Mom-induced meltdown by someone in the family.

“Sonny Boy, you’re not a guest here; this is your home too. Isn’t that right, Sunshine?”

Pop glared at Dad. “Of course it’s his home too, but I don’t think Gus is the right one to make this decision.” Pop walked to Dad and placed his hands around his neck, standing on tiptoes to kiss him. “Brian, I don’t want to see you hurt again... and I sure as hell don’t want to see Gus hurt again. I love you both too much for that.”

Dad leaned down touching his forehead to Pop’s. “You know how I feel about you and Gus?”

Pop tenderly kissed Dad again in answer to the question.

“I can’t be responsible for depriving him of his mother.”

“You mean like she deprived you of your son.”

Dad rolled his lips inward.

“I’ll watch out for her,” Grandma declared. “I’m sure Lindsay will be as uncomfortable as a pig in a beauty pageant so she’ll behave.”

Dad snorted. “Interesting analogy, considering she’ll be in a houseful of gay men.”

“I can’t leave her alone on Thanksgiving -- it just wouldn’t be right. Besides, she already knows Melanie and Marie are engaged.”

Pop turned toward Grandma. “How did she take it?”

“Pretty fucking well, if you ask me. Of course she was sad to see Melanie move on, but she’s admitted they had a shitty marriage -- hell, they had a shitty relationship long before that but didn’t figure it out until it was too late.”

Dad walked over to the bar to pour himself a shot of Chivas. “Too bad none of us had the balls to tell them before they went prancing down the aisle and had a second kid.”

“I’m glad Jenny’s around.” I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud until three heads spun toward me and stared.

“You know I didn’t mean anything against Jenny.”

I nodded, but was still a little annoyed at Dad’s remark -- even though I knew he was right.

“So Sonny Boy, do we invite your recently absent mother to rejoin the hordes?”

I looked at all three of them, a sense of loss in my gut. “Yeah. I want her here if you think she’s ready, Grandma.”

Pop shook his head. “Then there’s the answer. Bring Lindsay with you, Deb, but I’m holding you to your word. Keep an eye on her.”

“Girl scouts honor.” Grandma held up her hand, illustrating the pledge.

“Deb, let’s face it, you were never a girl scout.” Dad snorted.

“Asshole,” she barked while laughing. “Okay, boy scouts honor.”

Dad smirked. “That’s better.” He kissed her on the cheek.

Grandma gave Dad a huge bear hug. “You’re a good boy, Brian.”

I heard Dad whisper, “Thanks Maw.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

While everyone was talking during Thanksgiving, Jeff, Jenny, Marci, and I spent time going from group to group.

The whole family kept hugging each other so often throughout the day, I’m surprised any of us got away without being totally black and blue.

After dinner, I finally had a chance to sit down with Mom while Jeff and a shit-load of other family members helped Pop clean up.

“How are you, Lambskin? I’ve missed you.” Mom gently pecked my cheek.

I snorted. “I’ve kind of missed you too, but I haven’t missed that nickname.”

Mom blushed. “Sorry. I keep forgetting my baby is practically a grown-up.”

“I haven’t been a baby for a long time.” I didn’t want to get too sentimental with her -- I wasn’t ready. “What have you been doing lately?”

“My therapist suggested, since I work in a gallery, that I ask to use the studio room during my off hours and spend some time rediscovering my art. It’s been years since I put my feelings down in a sketchpad or on canvas.”

“Has it helped?”

“I think so.” Mom sat up straighter, smiling. “Justin actually thinks he’d like to hang one of my recent paintings in the gallery.”

“No shit.”

She laughed. “That was pretty close to my reaction. He’s been kinder to me than I deserved after... well, after everything.”

“Pop’s amazing. I know I can trust him with anything and he’ll always be honest with me and keep confidences.”

Mom lowered her head. “He’s a wonderful parent.”

“There was a time you didn’t think so.”

She wiped away a tear before it escaped the corner of her eye. “I was wrong. He’s probably the best parent you have.”

“I wouldn’t go that far -- we just have a special relationship. I have a special relationship with each of my parents.”

“Except me.”

“Mom.” I could see the pain in her face but I had no intention of getting into all the past crap we’d been through on Thanksgiving Day.

“Don’t worry, honey. I know I’ve made a lot of awful choices over the years.” She looked up, her features softening. “I’d like us to take it slowly and rebuild our relationship; I’m hoping you’d like that too.”

I nodded.

“I’m not sure how to go about it, but I thought if you had some holiday shopping to do we could go together. I have plenty of people to buy for -- to show my appreciation. Maybe you could help me pick out some special things.”

I paused before answering, giving myself time to think about the prospect of going shopping with Mom. I figured it would be fine -- we’d be on neutral ground. We’d be in public venues and spend most of our time talking about people other than ourselves.

“Sounds like a great idea Mom.”

She smiled from ear-to-ear. “It’s good to hear that again.”

“What?”

“Mom. You haven’t called me anything in ages, not that I blame you.”

I rolled my lips inward.

“Just like your father.”

I knew what she meant, but I didn’t want her thinking about Dad with some sort of inappropriate longing.

“I’m not just like Dad. I do have some of his traits and habits, but I have some of Pop’s and Mem’s too.”

She tilted her head. “You’re also very wise and intuitive. You must get that from Justin.”

“Probably... and Uncle Ben.”

“I see. A little bit from everyone you love. Maybe someday...”

“... I already take after you in ways you don’t know.”

She touched my hand. “I’m not sure I want to hear this, but how.”

“I’m the biggest fucking romantic. I’ve actually baked cookies with Pop to bring to Jeff at school.”

Mom grinned. “Like we used to do to send to your father when we lived in Canada.”

“Something like that.”

“I’m glad you still have some happy memories of the two of us.”

“The bad hasn’t erased all the good, Mom -- it’s just overtaken it.”

“Let’s hope we can start to reverse that.”

“I’d like that. How about we go shopping on Monday night after the gallery closes. The mall will be open late.”

Mom’s face lit up. It was nice to see. “Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up at the store if you’re working that day.”

“I am -- that’ll be great.”

I walked away, still not ready for more, and approached Dad and Jeff who were talking about a class Jeff is taking in public speaking.

“Hey Newbie, how’d it go with your mom?”

Dad gazed at me, more interested in the answer than Jeff probably was.

“Not bad. We’re going Christmas shopping on Monday after I finish up at Red Cape.”

“Do you want me to meet you too?” I could tell Dad was concerned about any time I’d spend with Mom.

“No, I’ll be okay, but I wouldn’t mind if you met me at the mall at the end of the evening to pick me up. I’m not sure I’m ready for the long drive to Britin with her.”

“Just call me when you want to be picked up. I’ll work late at Kinnetik -- there’s always something to do.”

“And even if there wasn’t you’d make sure to take care of me. My guess is Pop will be with you -- he’s such a worrier.”

“Only about you and me, Sonny Boy.”

“I know... and I’m glad.”

[TBC]

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