The Gus Diaries

Part 100

Learning From Mistakes
 

I was so glad Jeff was able to come home for the weekend. I hadn’t been able to approach my dads about what I’d learned at the mall... mainly because I wasn’t supposed to have been there in the first place.

Now all I could think about was Pop and his threats. I know they were meant to protect Jeff and me, but how had Pop ever gotten involved with a gun. He’s the ultimate pacifist. I couldn’t believe it, but Chris Hobbs did, and that scared me.

Even though I knew I should put it behind me, I couldn’t let go of the image of Pop wielding a weapon. Somehow there had to be an answer.

I decided the best bet was to confess.

It had been kind of strange around Britin. Dad seemed more quiet than usual and Pop didn’t push him to open up any further. I had a feeling Dad didn’t know everything either, but was giving Pop the space he needed to deal with all that had come out at the meeting.

Assuming nothing would be revealed until I opened up about my... spying, I was shocked the night Jeff was due to show up. Just after dinner, I started to enter the media room but halted when I heard Dad’s raised voice.

“Justin, you have to be exaggerating because...”

“...because you can’t believe I could do anything like that.”

“Because the idea of you threatening someone’s life as if you were the chief enforcer for a mob boss is too insane for words, let alone mental pictures!”

“Brian, I was in a fucking shitty place.”

“If you’re in a fucking shitty place, you get annoyed, angry, yell, spend time with your fag hag whining to her. What you don’t do is shove a gun down someone’s throat after having him get down on his knees!”

“Brian...”

“Don’t say anything!”

I risked peeking into the room and saw Dad run his fingers through his hair. I felt kind of nauseous myself.

“You do know he could have had you arrested on any one of several criminal charges? What the fuck were you thinking!”

Pop lashed back, “I wasn’t thinking. My mind was all over the fucking place after Darren was attacked.” Darren? That’s the number two guy in Uncle Emmett’s catering business. “It brought back everything!” Then Pop’s voice softened. “I experienced the pain, the fear, and the humiliation all over again.”

Dad walked over to Pop and held him. “Why humiliation? You didn’t do anything to deserve being attacked.” Dad rubbed his hands over Pop’s back and then drew him in for a kiss. “I wish you’d told me all this back then.”

Pop snorted. “You weren’t ready to deal with it. We were still living in the land of Just Forget About It. By the time I was feeling more like myself again you took off for Johns Hopkins.”

Dad nodded and I saw my opening to walk into the room.

“Dad, Pop--”

“Oh shit! How much did you hear?” Pop was clearly startled by my entry.

“Enough.”

He walked to the sofa and dropped down, head in hands. “I’m so sorry.” Then he looked directly at me. “I really fucked up back then. My judgment was totally off and I made some bad choices.”

I sat down next to Pop. “It sounds more like you needed to get something back and went about it in a way you still regret.”

Dad sat down next to Pop on his other side and drew him in close. “Sonny Boy, when did you get so intuitive?”

“I got it from watching you two. You know and feel everything about each other. It’s hard not to learn from that.”

Dad gave a half smile. “There’s obviously some things I wasn’t as aware of as I should have been.”

I huffed. “Dad, no one can protect everyone, all the time, especially from their own actions. I’d have thought you’d have picked that up from Mom and Mem. Mem sure didn’t do a good job there and they’d been together a lot longer than you and Pop.”

Pop nuzzled his head into the crook of Dad’s shoulder. “He’s right, Brian. You couldn’t have known what I would do back then. Hell! I didn’t know what I’d do.”

This was it. The time I had to confess or I couldn’t live with myself. “Dad, Pop, I have a confession to make -- I was at the mall -- you know, last week.”

It took them both a second before it became clear they realized what I was referring to.

“Gus, why were you there?”

“I’d overheard the tail end of your phone conversation with Chris Hobbs and I was afraid... for both of you and Jeff.” I lowered my head. “We were both there; all my idea.”

Dad brushed his hand over his face. “I see.”

“I’m not proud of myself for planning on eavesdropping, but I was scared. I’m sorry.”

“You should be, Sonny Boy. There are some things adults need to handle in their own way.”

“I know, and I’ll try to be more respectful in the future.” I dared to look at Pop. “Can I ask you something?”

Pop nodded but said nothing.

“Would you do it? Would you really use a weapon to stop Chris or Mark Hobbs?”

Sitting taller on the sofa, Pop looked directly at me. “I would do anything to protect my family. You and Brian are everything to me, and Jeff is almost as close...”

“But...”

“Wait. You didn’t let me finish.”

Facing Pop I remained silent, allowing him the opportunity to complete his thought.

“I would do anything to protect you, within the law. I was foolish to threaten Chris the way I did. I don’t even own a gun and will never touch one again if I can help it.”

Dad nudged Pop’s shoulder with his own. “It’s a good thing Hobbs doesn’t know this.”

Taking Pop’s face gently in his hands, Dad kissed him. It was warm and tender. Even I sensed the love and gratitude in the kiss.

With their foreheads touching Dad whispered, “I love you, Justin. Don’t ever do anything that could endanger you or our future again. Fuck! I wouldn’t have a future without you.”

“Oh, Brian.”

The two continued kissing and we heard the doorbell chime.

“I’ll get it. It’s probably Jeff.”

Dad waved me out of the room, lips still united with Pop’s. The message came through loud and clear so I pulled the door to the media room tightly shut.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

As soon as Jeff walked into the house I held him close.

“You talked to them, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s all okay. I’ll tell you about it as we head upstairs.”

Jeff nodded and followed me up. I gave him all the details as we approached my room.

“Wow, those two are something else.”

I laughed. “They sure are. I’m glad I never had to see Pop armed. I don’t think I’d ever see him the same way again.”

Jeff closed my bedroom door and threw his bag and jacket off to the side. “You know, Gus, I would do just about anything for you too.”

“I know. Same here.”

Jeff slowly approached me. Wrapping his arms around me and threading his fingers in my hair we kissed. There was a hunger -- the hunger from missing one another all week, as well as being worried.

Our tongues explored, seeking every taste yet never completely satisfied.

I wanted more contact with Jeff. My hands quickly searched for the hem of his shirt and with a momentary break of our lips, I whipped it off and then did the same with my own.

Digging my fingers into his back, our bodies chest to chest, he guided us to recline on the bed. Jeff opened my pants and pulled them down, tossing them on the floor, shedding his own equally as quickly.

“You’re so beautiful, Newbie. Nothing can ever happen to you -- I’ll never let it.”

Jeff lay on top of me, our cocks aligned. As he began to move, the friction was incredible. I wanted him inside me, just as he was outside -- no barriers.

We’d been monogamous for so long. This was right, just as it should be.

His hand moistened with lube, Jeff continued his rhythm as I felt his fingers circle my hole. He pressed one finger into the tight channel, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough.

“More, another, more.”

“Okay,” he whispered as he pushed another finger inside me -- turning, opening, heating me from within.

I needed him so much -- more than ever. Tugging at his hand, he followed my lead and pulled it out. Guiding his hand to our stiff dicks he took them together, massaging, blissfully escalating the fire building.

Stilling his hand, I raised my legs, wrapping them around his waist. I took hold of his cock and quickly placed it in position.

“Gus, no.”

“Yes, we’re clean, it’s only ever been us.”

I pushed down, but he quickly moved back. He grabbed something off the nightstand and I heard the telltale tear of the wrapper.

Without giving me a moment to adjust he rammed his cock inside. Pounding mercilessly, he drove in and out. I could barely breathe.

“Oh God! Jeff!” Everything happened so fast. I couldn’t hold back. Gripping his muscular upper arms I shot over my chest and his.

Jeff continued to thrust so hard the bed creaked louder than I ever remembered until he stilled. “Fuck... Gus, oh fuck.” His voice trailed off. I could feel the condom filling as Jeff rested his head against my shoulder.

He carefully pulled out and tossed the condom to the side, staring at me.

I wasn’t sure what to expect until he crashed his lips down on mine. Pulling on my hair, he relentlessly and urgently continued the onslaught. Our lips had to be swollen and reddened.

He soon stopped, leaving both of us panting. Jeff rolled onto his back and drew me along with him. I rested my head on his sweaty chest.

Regaining a normal breathing pattern, Jeff ran his fingers over my shoulder blades. “Don’t do that again, Gus. I might not be able to stop myself.”

I knew what he meant.

“We are clean and totally monogamous.”

“We also made a promise to your dads. When we’re ready -- really ready -- we’ll both know it. Until then, we have to be fucking patient.”

“It had better be worth the wait.”

“Gus, you are definitely worth the wait.”

“I love you, Jeff.”

He squeezed me tighter, if that was possible, and the two of us fell asleep, safely engulfed in each other’s sated embrace.

 

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