The End Justifies the Means

Chapter 3 - Negotiations

The next morning when Justin and Brian woke up neither of them had any idea what time of day it was. They hadn’t had the opportunity to rest until 7:00 AM and then they both crashed. No showers or blow jobs were in the cards for either one of them. They were lucky they had even made it to the bed.

After Michael and Ben finally left to go home, Justin and Brian looked at each other. The sadness that had taken over the formerly fun and celebratory mood was gone. Neither man wanted to talk. They just locked eyes. Brian was the first to rise from the couch and help Justin stand. They walked hand in hand to the bedroom, although it was far from romantic. Each stripped down to his underwear, climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep.

Justin was the first to rise and he felt totally disoriented. He lost track of where he was until he spotted Brian lying next to him. He was suddenly taken back to the first time he ever woke in this very same bed. Then, too, he’d been drawn to gazing at Brian, unable to take his eyes off this God among men.

Now Justin knew that image of God was the exterior and what lay beneath the facade was a deep, loving, caring, and frequently hurting human. His human, if he would have anything to say about it. But unfortunately fate got in the way once again. This time Justin knew that he would have to be a man to take his rightful place at Brian’s side for life.

Brian wasn’t going to succumb easily to the idea of Justin moving home, let alone that he was truly ready for marriage. Justin knew that he would have to convince Brian with actions and facts. That was the world Brian would understand. Everyone in Pittsburgh was still living under the impression that the only place for Justin was New York City and that a move to Pittsburgh was going to damage his career.

Hell, if Andy Warhol could do it, Justin Taylor could as well. Besides, Justin had no interest in being the next Warhol, he wanted to be an original and cultivate his own followers. In addition, Justin Taylor liked money, but it really was secondary to his true passion. Justin was one of the fortunate few and he knew it now. He had a passion for his art and it grew as he matured and he had a passion for Brian and their relationship grew as both of them matured.

It was obvious that this wouldn’t be easy. Lindsay had poured her heart into insuring that Justin would be separated by many miles from the only person he wanted to spend his life with. This had been another piece of Justin’s continuing maturity—learning who he could trust and who was merely manipulating him. It took a great deal of thought and effort to realize that Lindsay couldn’t see Brian attached to anyone other than Gus, because Gus was the next best thing for Lindsay and all she could manage to get. And from the stories Justin had heard, Lindsay had manipulated Brian into getting his sperm for that. At least Gus was a prize that was worth all of it.

Justin thought back to the gifts that he and Brian had received for their wedding. Some of them were really thoughtful and beautiful. Lindsay and Mel had given them a water buffalo—did they think he and Brian were dykes. No, Lindsay would probably not have allowed for a gift that would represent the love that Brian and Justin shared because it wasn’t something she could face. Now Justin was prepared to take his rightful place in Brian’s life, as his equal partner, and if he could convince him as his husband.

Brian awoke to the soft touch and warm gaze of Justin. There was no better sight to see first thing in the morning…that is if it was still morning. At first, Brian began to stir slowly and he was mildly aware of the fact that he hadn’t slept this soundly in this bed in months. It was probably six months to be exact, but who’s counting? Then the reality of all the events of the previous night brought him out of his comfortable, relaxed state.

“Good morning, Sunshine. Or should I say good afternoon?”

“I think we just snuck under the wire for morning. It’s 11:45 and way too sunny out for all that we have ahead of us.”

“Shall we dazzle the diner crowd by our presence before we meet Michael at the store…or what’s left of it?”

“I think that would be a great idea. Maybe we’ll get to see Debbie, oh wait, she’s in New York.”

“Now there’s a switch. We should call your mom and Deb this morning and tell them what happened.”

“Let’s wait until after the show. They have a full day planned and it didn’t include us anyway. Why bother them? There’s nothing they can do here anyway, except hold Michael’s hand and between Ben, Hunter, you and me we’ve got that pretty well covered.”

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s get showered and start the day off right.” Brian smirked.

“I hear you loud and clear. Don’t start without me.” Justin called as he jumped out of bed and followed Brian into the bathroom.

The warm water and passionate touches were enough to get both men heated up fairly quickly. If there was a record for how fast a man could orgasm from a blow job, Brian and Justin would be vying for the title.

After they were both clean and refreshed they got dressed. The first order of business was to drop off the rental car. Having flown to New York the previous day, Brian’s Corvette was still parked in his spot outside his building. He tossed the Corvette keys to Justin and instructed him to follow him slowly to the rental office. It was obvious Justin was surprised by the gesture but didn’t put up an argument. Another moment where it became obvious that Brian was ready to accept Justin as an equal life partner.

The car return went smoothly and Brian slid into the passenger seat of his car. When Justin got behind the wheel he looked at Brian, “Why? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Justin, I’m just tired.”

“Is that really all?” Justin assumed there was more to Brian’s brief response.

“Maybe.”

“Brian, talk to me. I don’t have a wire on, there’s nothing I can hold against you.”

“I know you like to hear how I feel and that’s not always in my comfort zone.”

“Yeah, I understand that but…”

“But it doesn’t mean that I can’t show you from time to time where I place you in my life and how much I trust you. A long time ago we said we were partners. It’s time we acted like it, don’t you think?”

Justin thought Brian would self-destruct after such a huge confession of his commitment to him. But instead, he let out a quiet breath and just sat back in the passenger seat. This was the time to start laying the groundwork for discussion of their future. Justin was not going to miss an opportunity like this one.

“Brian, I think you’re right about everything. Demonstrating our place in each other’s lives is a great way to start. Thank you, I think you know how much this means to me.” And with that Justin leaned over the stick shift and placed a gentle, loving kiss on Brian’s lips.

Brian simply smiled and said, “I know.”

As the atmosphere was becoming a bit too intimate for the situation, Brian changed the direction of their discussion by pulling out his cell phone and calling Michael to make sure he was at the store. He was there and sounded just as weary as he did the day before. Justin drove them both to Red Cape Comics, or at least what was left of Red Cape Comics.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

Due to the investigation Justin and Brian needed to park a couple of blocks away from their destination. They got out of the car and began to walk towards the store. As they approached, the smell of stale smoke and wetness filled the air. Justin actually gasped when he spotted Michael in front of the store. It was actually worse than he could have possibly imagined. Brian took his hand when he heard him and gave it a squeeze.

Nothing could have prepared them for the complete devastation. Michael saw them and met them halfway.

“They know the cause.” Michael said softly. “It was faulty wiring in the restaurant and that combined with the fact that the grill was left on, it was an explosive combination.”

“Mikey,” was all Brian could say and he hugged his friend. They all proceeded as close as they could get to the store. The windows were smashed by the fire department to get access to the interior. Apparently, the comics went up in flames so fast that it would have been impossible to save anything once the first flame ignited. Each magazine stoked the fire and as a whole they were the perfect fuel to accelerate the damage.

“Where’s Ben?” Justin innocently asked. Brian waited to hear Michael’s response. This would be very telling. Brian hoped that Michael wouldn’t have too many shocks in one week, but it would be worse to find out after the fact that he’d been kept in the dark.

“He forgot to tell me that he had a regularly scheduled check-up with his doctor today. My guess is he’ll be here soon or at least give me a call. He’s seemed a bit tired lately but I know he’s got a full class load this semester and is also trying to work on his new book.”

“Shit,” Brian mumbled. Justin couldn’t help notice Brian’s concern. He filed that away to bring up later when they were alone. Clearly there was more to this than Michael either knew or was sharing.

Michael was so absorbed in trying to see if anything in the store was salvageable that he couldn’t focus on anything else. Maybe that was a good thing but it was yet to be known.

Justin dove in and began to help Michael sift through the rubble. Everything was virtually unrecognizable. Then as Justin climbed over the piles of incinerated comics he spotted a large placard. It was burnt around the edges but it was still standing. There was Rage holding JT, just after they were married. He laughed and wished that he believed in omens because this was certainly a good one.

“Michael, look what survived the fire.” Justin yelled.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe it. Of all the different promotions we made this one was the one that survived.” Michael couldn’t stop laughing. “Do you think it’s destiny?”

“Who the fuck knows, I don’t believe in that shit anyway,” was the only response Justin would offer.

Michael picked up a few stray toys that were partially damaged and helped Justin carry out the Rage placard. Brian picked up a few bits of ash and just let them float out of his hands when he noticed Justin and Michael carrying Rage. At that point all he could do was laugh.

After leaving Michael, Brian asked Justin what he’d like to do. Justin handed him the keys to the car and said please take me to Britin. Brian smiled. He’d thought multiple times about putting that huge monster of an estate on the market, but every time he picked up the phone he’d just hang it up. Somehow Britin had come to stand for something. He laughed at the thought that he and Justin got their energy from Britin. It was their haven, like Tara was to Scarlette O’hara. If anything was gayer than that thought, Brian was hard-pressed to think of it at the moment.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

The drive to West Virginia was peaceful. At one point Justin reached over to place his hand over Brian’s on the stick shift. Rather than complain Brian let it rest in place. As they pulled up to the house, Justin couldn’t help but smile. This was his home. A place where he truly belonged and where no one could touch him. He knew that was a fantasy, but it was his fantasy.

When they entered the house Justin was immediately drawn to the front room. That was the room where dreams came true. Brian had proposed to him and they had made love by the warmth of the fireplace. It was a night right out of a storybook and as all storybooks that one had to end. This time Justin wanted real life. This was his moment to bring their real love and commitment into this house to last indefinitely.

Sharing this with Brian was the tough part. How do you make someone who’s convinced that he knows what’s best for you listen to reason? Justin was ready to face the challenge head on.

As they walked through the house there was an air of calm that came over both men. Despite the awkward appearance of all that was covered in white cloth, the house still seemed to come to life as they entered each room

Justin finally ventured forth to ask the question that he’d been avoiding throughout their walk through all the rooms, “Is it still ours?”

“Yes,” was all Brian could say.

“It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“It’s not fair to leave this beautiful palace empty. It deserves to be inhabited.”

“I wondered if you’d say that. I thought about selling…”

“But you couldn’t.” Justin finished Brian’s sentence.

“No, I couldn’t. I bought it for my prince and I still think he’s my prince.” Brian smirked.

“He’s not your prince.” Brian’s face fell until Justin quickly added, “He’s your equal. We’re both the kings of this castle.”

Brian smiled at the silly analogy but he didn’t interrupt Justin.

“Brian, I don’t have the Dom with me or the crystal glasses or the rose, but I know this is the right time and the right place. It was only time and now time is up, marry me, please. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes. Those hazel eyes didn’t give anything away. It was like Brian had suddenly become a poker face.

“Brian?”

“How can you give everything up that you just started? You were the hit of the art world last night and now you’re about to give it all up, for what, me?”

“Not for you Brian, for me. I need to have a life. I’ve been living like a robot for six months, except for the visit you made when Maggie signed me as her client and then for this show.”

“You haven’t given it the time you need. Lindsay said…”

“Fuck Lindsay, and I don’t mean that literally because I bet she’d like it and Mel would beat the crap out of you.”

Brian was taken aback by Justin’s obvious anger. He remained quiet to let him continue.

“I spoke directly to Maggie, who IS an expert in marketing artists and as far as she’s concerned, as long as I remain inspired to paint and draw, her agency will stand behind me. She also made it quite clear that not every show takes place in New York. She shows her clients work in Connecticut, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Illinois to name a few.

“Lindsay doesn’t know shit. The only thing she cares about is keeping her family close and you on a string—which means keeping me out of the way. I know you love Lindsay, but…”

“She can be very manipulative if she wants to be. She manipulated me into agreeing that Gus would be happier and safer in Canada, which might be true, and into agreeing that you’d only be a success if you remained in New York City in the midst of all the action.” Brian responded. “I can’t believe that she wouldn’t be honest about that. It makes too much sense.”

“I’ve got news for you Brian,” Justin continued in an even tone, “Lindsay is a good art teacher and she can paint and draw, well, passably. But she’s not an artist’s agent and she really has no idea what it takes to become a success as an artist. Maybe she thinks that if she went to New York she would have been a success. The truth is, very few artists in New York are successes because they’re just not that good.”

Brian knew it was difficult for Justin to express his true artistic capabilities but this was important. He needed to be sure that Justin wasn’t bullshitting him to get a commitment that he wasn’t ready for. “So that means that if you paint it they will come.”

Justin laughed at the corny movie reference but acknowledged, “If I paint it and it’s good Maggie will come and take it wherever it should go for best exposure.”

“If we were to get married there is something you need to know about me, Justin.”

“I think I already know quite a bit about you.”

“That’s true, but I’m talking about more than being a pretty face with a big bank account.” Brian couldn’t help himself and then lowered his head a bit and pressed his tongue into his cheek.

“Shucks, and I thought I could swindle you out of everything you own after I ravished your body.” Justin snarked back.

“Well that sounds quite tempting but if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years is that a good story, maybe you could call it a philosophy, needs to grow and change with the times. Marriage is not something I ever really thought of seriously, except when I thought it was the only way to keep you in my life and keep you out of trouble.”

“I’ve done quite well keeping myself out of trouble.”

“Point well-said, but a friend once told me that he never thought of marriage because it was never something he thought he could have. Being gay, and growing up with two parents who would have been great spokesmen for approving divorce in the Catholic Church, I never thought marriage was a story that would be written for me. That guy re-wrote the story for himself and got married. Maybe it’s my turn.”

“Brian, if you agree to marriage we have to know up front what that will mean to us. Not being heteros we actually have a lot more flexibility in our interpretation of marriage.”

“Flexibility?” Brian smirked.

“Shut up, you know what I mean. How do you see our marriage?”

“Just remember, Sunshine, I haven’t accepted your proposal yet. The way I’d see a marriage is that although the state of Pennsylvania doesn’t recognize it as legal I would. I don’t want a façade but the real thing. If you’re not ready for that, here’s your chance to am-scray.”

“Are we talking about monogamy? Because if we are I have a confession to make.”

“A confession?”

“I haven’t been with any tricks since I left Pittsburgh.”

“An hour ago?”

“Fuck you, six fucking…or rather non-fucking months ago. The only sex I’ve had with another person is when we had those wonderful sessions of phone sex or when you visited.”

“Justin, are you kidding me?”

“No, are you mad?”

“No, but…” Brian wasn’t sure how to continue.

“But what, are you sure you’re not pissed off?” Justin was beginning to get concerned.

“After you left I had no interest in tricking for a while. I guess you could say I was feeling sorry for myself and you know what pity does to my dick.” Justin simply laughed. “Anyway, the night that Babylon opened I figured would be the time to start tricking again but somehow I couldn’t.”

“Huh?”

“Eloquent as ever, Sunshine.” Brian earned a smack on the arm for that one.

“As I was saying, I looked at all those hot, horny men and then I looked at Michael and Ben and even Ted and Blake and all I could imagine was you. So I went to my office and…”

“That’s the first night you called me and we had amazing phone sex.”

“You’re catching on.”

“So does this mean what I think it means? You really haven’t been with anyone else since I left town?”

“Only my left and right hands, variety is the spice of life you know.”

“Fuck me.”

“My pleasure, Sunshine, but let’s wait till we decide on the marriage issue. Do you think you can really spend the rest of your life with only one person? After all, you’re only 23. I don’t want you to feel like you’ve missed out.”

“Brian, you may have fucked all the hot guys in Pittsburgh, but I’ve done at least 25% of them and that’s enough to last a lifetime, especially since no matter who I’m with you’re always there.”

The words hit Brian like a long lost friend returning. This was really going to happen. He and Justin could truly build a life together and neither one would have to sacrifice their inner desires for the other to make it work. Brian walked up to Justin, held his face between his hands and kissed him. He moved one hand into Justin’s hair and the other around his back and gripped him tightly as they sent all their love and desire into their kisses. Tongues wrestled and finally they separated. Lips swollen and reddened with smiles on their faces.

Justin was the first to dare to speak, “So, your answer is…”

“If you’ll have me and forsake all others, I’m all yours. Let’s get married, but…”

“But what?”

“I think we should plan and execute this event ourselves. No Emmett, no mothers and no friends until the day arrives.”

“Deal. And let’s not bring this up until after Michael figures out what he’s going to do.”

“Agreed.”

“Oh and Brian, what the fuck is going on with Ben? I didn’t miss your reaction when Michael said Ben had a regularly scheduled check-up.”

“You don’t miss a fucking thing, do you?”

“I’m an artist, we observe everything. So what’s up?”

“I’m not sure, Justin, but something tells me that Ben’s visit was not for a regular physical.”

“Oh shit!”

“You said it.”

Brian and Justin sat together on the floor both in joy for their renewed marriage plans and in anticipation of what might not be good news from Ben.



 

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