The End Justifies the Means

Chapter 2 - Burning Desire

“Why the fuck did Michael call you?” Brian asked.

“I have no idea yet, but he said that he needed me. He’s probably got the worst timing in creation. We were having such a great night. I told him I’d call him back in 15 minutes if he could please wait while I showered and got dressed.”

Justin was upset and disgusted. This was supposed to be his triumphant moment. In one night, he’d conquer the New York City art world and followed it up by proposing to Brian, for keeps this time. There would be no bomb propelling their motivation to frantically cling to each other for fear of death and destruction. This time it would be the icing on the proverbial cake. The moment that time was on their side and they’d beat all the odds.

While it wasn’t Michael’s fault that he had horrendous timing it just seemed like he was always in the way. At least they hadn’t gotten to open the bottle of Dom yet. They’d definitely save it for a more opportune time.

Brian and Justin made fast work of a mutual shower. They were too anxious to learn what caused Michael’s desire to see Justin immediately, so blow jobs were not only out of the question but they weren’t even a thought at that point.

Justin took out his cell after both he and Brian threw on some jeans, dialed Michael’s number and put it on speaker phone.

“Justin is that you.” Michael said, sounding desperate.

“Yeah Michael, it’s me and I’m here with Brian. I put the phone on speaker so he could hear whatever’s going on.”

“Oh shit, this was the big opening night. I’m sorry. I’m just so flustered that I can’t think straight.”

Justin looked to Brian and mouthed, “Too easy, let’s give him a break.” Brian just covered his mouth so his snort wouldn’t be heard.

“Michael what the fuck happened to make you call this late and demand I come home. I miss you guys a lot too, but this is ridiculous.” Justin tried to remain somewhat light since something was clearly troubling Michael.

“Justin, they’re gone.”

“What’s gone?”

“Rage, they’re all gone. I had a huge display out in my special glass case since we’re approaching the fifth anniversary of Rage and now they’re gone.”

“Someone stole them?”

“No worse, there was a fire. All of them are gone. Every last copy and my entire collection is up in smoke with it. So is my store and my entire life.”

“Michael, calm down.” Brian tried to soothe his friend and get him to focus. “When was this fire and how extensive was it? Maybe some of your stuff is salvageable. It’s probably not as bad as it looks.”

“Brian, after closing tonight I went home with an amazing business and lots of plans for the future. Then the new closing cook at the Lebanese take-out place next door left the grill on and somehow a fire started. Every store on the street was totally gutted by the fire first and then the water damage. I was called about an hour and a half ago and came right down. Red Cape Comics and all its contents are ashes.”

Justin couldn’t help himself, “Michael, we’ll be home in a few hours. We’ll put our heads together and think of something. You do have insurance don’t you?”

When Michael didn’t answer Brian yelled, “Michael, don’t you?”

The last thing Michael said before he disconnected was, “Not enough.”

Justin and Brian looked at each other. While their night wasn’t ruined their weekend certainly was. Brian left word at Jennifer’s hotel to have her call him or Justin as soon as she and Deb woke up in the morning. There was no sense in disturbing them in the middle of the night. There was already enough of that going around for all of them.

The two lovers packed their own bags silently and regretfully. Neither wanted the joy of this experience to end, especially on such a horrible note. Brian wasn’t sure what to say to Justin because Rage was as much his baby as it was Michael’s. All the first editions were gone. In some ways those were more Justin’s than Michael’s as it was his painful story written for the world to see. How could Michael have been so irresponsible? Although, Brian had to admit to himself, Mikey didn’t know the store next door would ignite the neighborhood. It would be so easy if he could blame someone.

Justin just looked and felt sad and despondent. How could this happen on the best night of his career, and what was supposed to be the best night of his life? This night was supposed to surpass the one that he could never remember and the proposal that came as a knee-jerk reaction to a bomb exploding. This was his night and it was virtually ruined. The famous artist would go home to see his first masterpiece in ashes.

Then Justin dug deeper and realized that his losses weren’t nearly as dramatic as Michael’s. Michael had spent a lifetime of loneliness collecting and developing his fantasy world of superheroes. When Michael found someone to share his life with it was because of the hobby he’d buried himself in. When Michael thought about how he’d send his daughter to college, he’d always thought of selling his prized collection on e-bay. When Michael needed a safe haven to regroup it was amongst his heroes on paper.

Fuck, how could Justin be so selfish! Brian and he had the rest of their lives together. He just hadn’t let Brian know yet, in the way he wanted. At least they’d go back to Pittsburgh together to help their friend rise from the ashes, so to speak. Justin began to visualize the next Rage issue, as well as his next painting. At least some things were in good order. When all else fails, look to art for salvation. It had worked before and it looked like it was going to continue.

Brian arranged with the hotel concierge for a rental car to be waiting for them as they checked out at 3:00 AM. It was an exhausting drive but with Justin by his side, he knew that they’d work together to stay awake and focus on the need for their rapid departure and return to Pittsburgh. It was interesting that Michael thought to call Justin rather than Brian. It took some time for Brian to realize that it wasn’t just Rage that precipitated that choice but it was who Justin was and is. Justin was always supportive of Michael’s need to immerse himself in fantasy. Maybe it was their kinship in the arts.

Years ago, when Captain Astro died, it was Justin who immediately felt sympathy for Michael and tried to comfort him. His so-called best friends just teased him and his mother thought he was out of his mind. Justin knew that somehow a piece of Michael had died with that character. Captain Astro was the father figure that Michael didn’t have in his life. He was the mentor that was brave enough to put himself out there while Michael was afraid to come out. Justin understood and empathized with the loss, and Michael must never have forgotten that. Then it was Justin who helped Michael’s dream come to life.

If not for Justin, Rage would never have seen the light. Rage would never have flown alongside Zephyr to save Gayopolis and fuck JT into the mattress to gain strength. Justin was Michael’s lifeline and connection to his comics, all of which seemed to have gone up in smoke. That was a lot for any person to deal with and Brian knew he’d have to be there to help pick up the pieces for both of his friends. Their mutual loss would be terrible.

“Justin, I’m sorry our night had to end so abruptly. Especially since you were about to ply me with fine champagne and flowers and have your way with me.” Brian tried to lighten the mood.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“Tell me.”

“Not now, it’ll keep and so will the champagne. I’ll just have to replace the rose.” Justin snorted trying to make a half-hearted laugh.

“You didn’t have to go to Michael’s rescue, you know. He’s got Ben and Hunter. We could have waited one more day.”

“It wouldn’t have been the same and since I only had to be at the opening night gala for the art show I’m not losing out on anything but the fine hotel services we could have enjoyed. I’m not being a martyr or anything. I really think that Michael needs us…and in some way, I feel like I need to be with him. Does that sound crazy?”

“Not really. There are times when we all sacrifice for those we love. And I think it’s obvious that despite all our differences over the years that you love Michael and he loves you, too. More than just friends.”

“I know. It’s kind of odd. Did I ever tell you that he’s the first person that I ever had a heart-to-heart with about my feelings for you?”

“No, when was that.”

“Do you remember when you planned to sell the loft and move to New York if you got that advertising job? It was almost 6 years ago, I think.”

“Yes, I remember that quite well.”

“Well, when Michael was at Deb’s one day they were all talking about your possible move and I just couldn’t deal with listening so I went upstairs. Michael came up shortly after that. He even knocked, despite all his protests that it was still his room.” Justin quietly chuckled at the memories.

“Then he sat down and tried to convince me that you wouldn’t leave but I told him that you put the loft on the market. His surprise was evident and I knew he was devastated with the thought of losing you but instead he comforted me as I said for the first time, and really understood what it meant, that I loved you. He was incredible. He said words of comfort about not holding you back and that he knew I loved you. He didn’t belittle me as being a child. I truly appreciated him for the first time at that moment.”

“You’ve both had your ups and downs since then.”

“You know it. I don’t think he ever understood why I would go off with Ethan.”

“He was blind to the fact that there’s two sides to every story.”

“Especially where you’re concerned.”

“I know.”

“But more recently I realized that he’s the brother neither of us had and when he does those things it’s to protect us from each other. That’s not to forgive some of his stupider mistakes…like blurting out that we knew about the cancer.”

“Not one of my finer moments either.”

“You were sick; you had an excuse.”

“You’re too forgiving.”

“Maybe so, but I know when people care about me and love me. Michael may still have a few conditions to his love but I’d be hard-pressed to find them and you…”

“Yes.”

“You love me unconditionally. I hope you know it’s mutual.”

“I know.”

Before long the sign that listed the approaching Pittsburgh exits off the highway came into view. Dawn was beginning to break as the car pulled up in front of Michael and Ben’s home. The living room light was on indicating that someone was still awake. Both Brian and Justin hoped it was Ben and that he’d gotten Michael to rest.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

Unfortunately, as the saying goes, there’s no rest for the weary. Ben was up and so was Michael. Both of them looked exhausted and pale. Michael looked freshly showered and Ben was in the kitchen putting on a pot of coffee and making something for breakfast. Apparently Hunter had gone back to sleep by directive of his parents, although whether he was asleep or just laying in bed staring at the ceiling was still a question.

After tired hugs were exchanged the four sat down to coffee and an exorbitantly early breakfast. Caffeine was now required to enable each man to think clearly about what to do next. Apparently, Michael had enough insurance on the store to rebuild the shell but he had significantly underestimated the need for replacement value of its contents. In addition, at the time he’d taken out insurance on the store, he couldn’t afford the high premiums that would accompany the value of his collector’s items and rare comics.

He certainly didn’t have the money to come near what it would take to resurrect his collection. And even more troubling, some of his collection was so rare that even Michael didn’t know where he’d find similar comics and rare collectible toys to replace those that were destroyed.

Brian offered anything that he had but neither Michael nor Ben felt comfortable taking his money…at least not until they really began to see what was yet to develop. Michael hadn’t decided if he’d even rebuild the store. He was devastated and the worst was the loss of his precious first edition Rage copies. These were his heart and the reason for his being. The moment that Justin breathed life into Michael’s dream was a moment he’d never forget and now there was nothing left but the fading memory.

Justin tried to comfort Michael, but he was nearly as sad about the loss of the Rage first editions as Michael was. Trying to set aside his emotions and connections to that story, Justin sat next to Michael and told him that like Rage, Michael will live to see another issue of his life. They all laughed at the corny analogy, but the look on Michael’s face showed his appreciation.

Brian decided someone needed to take charge at that moment, “Do you have a plan of action?”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I have nothing to plan with. You didn’t see the store…or what’s left of it. You can’t even tell what was sold there or even where the computer and cash register had been. It’s a great big hole.” Michael came close to whining but a touch by Ben on the back of his neck brought him back from his wallowing.

“As I remember, you’re a pretty good wheeler-dealer when it comes to e-bay. Over the years you’ve bought me a couple of comics and some of those shitty little collectables. They’re stashed in a box in the closet at the loft. See what they’re worth now and then sell them. I’ve never looked at them twice and I sure as hell don’t use them. Consider them repayment for making me immortal through Rage.” Brian smirked at his last line. It worked. Michael looked up and there was a slight glimmer of hope in his eyes for the first time all morning.

“Okay, let’s go check them out.”

“Okay,” each one added as they got up and stretched. It was reinvigorating to have a focus, however small, that could lead to some positive results.

Before they left Ben went upstairs to share the news with Hunter who rolled over and said that he could now really go back to sleep knowing that something good was in the works. He added that dreaming about a new girl in school might be part of the plan as well but Ben just considered that way too much information and laughed.

Then Hunter gave Ben a hug and looked at him, “You look kind of tired. Why don’t you lie down and let Michael go to Brian’s and get the stuff on his own?”

“Michael needs me. That’s what being married is all about. Sometimes you forego a little sleep to help the person you love.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…now you’re sharing too much information.”

Ben laughed as he left Hunter’s room and closed the door. He yelled down the stairs to the waiting trio that he was just going to use the bathroom, take his meds and he’d be with them shortly. When he entered the bathroom, Ben started to cough uncontrollably. He turned the water on and took a cup to drink some water and quell the irritation. That ridiculous cough just seemed to hang on ever since he had a cold a couple of weeks earlier. He washed his face, took his pills and joined the rest. He knew that he needed some sleep, but there would be plenty of time for that later when everything was planned out.

As Ben and Michael followed Brian and Justin to the loft, in their own car, Ben felt the need to comfort his husband, “Michael, you know that I make enough to support all of us and our health insurance is through me as well.”

“Ben…”

“No, listen, Michael, I just want you to know that whatever you decide to do I’m behind you and you can always count on me. You don’t have to rush into any decisions before you’re ready. Isn’t that what partners are all about? We’re there for each other no matter what.”

“Ben, I really appreciate what you’re saying and I will take my time and not rush into any decisions. I don’t want to make thoughtless decisions. I guess we all have to grow up and now it’ll be my turn.”

“Michael, you know I love you and I always want to take care of you in any way I can.”

“I love you, too, Ben. I’m feeling better just knowing that we’ll move forward no matter what happens, as a team. It’s you and me forever…just like Zephyr and his brilliant paleontologist boyfriend.”

They both laughed at the comparison.

 

*~*~*~*~*
 

As they entered the loft Justin hesitated. It had been six long, and mostly painful, months since he’d last been in this—Brian’s home—no, his home. The loft was part of Brian and Brian was home. There was no fact that was better carved into his brain and his heart than that. Brian was home and he had no intention of leaving home ever again. The task of sharing this with Brian was yet to come but Justin was determined not to let Brian’s guilt or Lindsay’s persuasions of “the best place for Justin” to get in his way. This was his time and he wouldn’t miss out any more.

Brian noticed Justin’s hesitation and realized that the last time they were in the loft together was bittersweet. This time Brian wanted more and would work to see that it happened. He approached Justin and looked in his eyes. He touched Justin’s cheek and rubbed his thumb just below one of his eyes. They both knew that there was more to their relationship than either could ever express at this moment but the unspoken thoughts of the past, and a possible future that they shared, were loud and clear in their shared touches and looks.

The two held each other and then passionately kissed as if they hadn’t seen another human, let alone each other in six months.

All Brian could think of to say was, “You’re here.”

“Yes, I am,” was the only response necessary.

At that moment Ben and Michael announced their arrival as they pressed the buzzer for entrance to the building. Brian told them to come on up as he buzzed them into the building. He left the loft door opened and Justin waited for their arrival as Brian went into the bedroom to retrieve the box in question.

By the time he returned from the bedroom Michael was practically salivating with anticipation. Although he didn’t remember what he’d given Brian over the years, he knew that he’d presented him with some of his most precious finds. That had been a way for Michael to show how much he cared for Brian. Even though he knew Brian would never understand the real value of the gifts, Michael knew that with Brian they’d be cared for.

As Ben, Justin and Brian watched, Michael lifted off the top of the box and began to peer into it. He started to gently pull out some old metal toys and then at the bottom of the box, under a towel and wrapped individually in plastic, Michael started to pull out ten comic books. One was the famous blow-job cover of Rage. They all got a chuckle out of that, but in addition, there seemed to be several other comics with far less artistic style. Michael’s only reaction was to repeatedly say, “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”

Justin had waited long enough. “Holy shit what, Michael? What’s so great about these?”

“A few of these are worth a fucking fortune and two of these toys that have these special markings were made in 1944 when there was almost no metal of this type to be had. I can’t wait to look these up and see what they’re worth. Can I take them with me?”

Brian looked at him, “They’re no better use to me, so go ahead. Oh, but Mikey…”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t take them near any Lebanese restaurants.” That got a laugh out of the entire tired foursome.

“Before we leave I want to just splash some water on my face,” Ben said casually. Brian got up shortly thereafter to bring his overnight bag into the bedroom. He noticed the bathroom door was slightly ajar and he heard coughing. Brian quietly slid the door open and stepped in closing it behind him.

“How long?” was all Brian asked.

“What are you talking about and do you mind, I thought bathrooms were inherently private?” was Ben’s response.

“How long have you been sick? It’s obvious that this isn’t just lack of sleep.”

“I’m not sick, at least not like you think.”

“Then tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m going to the doctor tomorrow. We think my meds need to be changed or adjusted again.”

“Mikey doesn’t know, does he?”

“I was going to tell him tonight after Hunter went to sleep, but we got interrupted by the fire.”

“It seems that fire was a big interruption all around. When are you going to tell him?”

“After I see the doctor and find out all the facts I’ll talk to him.”

“He loves you, Professor, don’t hurt him.”

“We both know I’ve gone down that road before and I have no intention of hurting him. Michael really is my life. He keeps me alive.”

“I have a feeling it’s mutual. Oh and Professor…”

“What?”

“You’re family. Don’t keep secrets from your family. Let us all know.”

Ben paused, then looked into Brian’s eyes, “Fuck, I’m scared.”

“I know, me too.”
 

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