It's My Life



 

As Justin cradled the broken man in his arms, his heart refused to obey his mind as it berated him to go. Just stand up and leave. A multitude of reasons for turning his back swirled in his head, but the pounding in his chest was like a distant drum leading him through the fog. He loved this man. There was no other reason.
 

The persistent bleating of the teen’s cell phone broke the silence. Justin willed Brian to remain still, letting the caller leave a message.

Brian slowly unwound his arms. “Answer it.”

The voice was clear and steady, but the eyes were raw misery. “No,” Justin whispered, as if the person calling could hear.

Brian’s eyes searched his face, and their expression changed subtly. They became harder as Brian tempered hope with hostility. He had been beaten and strung out, and he was about to take his pound of flesh in return. “If you don’t…” Brian said slowly, an edge to his voice that left no doubt of his intentions.

Justin swallowed hard, his heart racing now. “Yes.”

The ringing stopped and the loft was silent again, until Justin’s cry rang out as Brian grabbed a fist full of hair and yanked his head back. The teen blinked back tears as Brian’s hard face blurred in front of him. Then he felt Brian’s other hand caress his cheek, a soft touch, as long fingers extended and wiped away the tears threatening to spill over his lashes. Damp fingertips played over his bottom lip, making it glisten from the wetness. Brian leaned down and licked the salty skin, sucking it gently between his teeth. His mouth nibbled Justin’s lips until the teen was panting hard, his pink tongue snaking out to seek Brian’s.

Denying him, Brian withdrew slightly and licked a line along his jaw to his neck. “You do still want me,” he breathed harshly, puffing warm air against Justin’s ear.

Despite the angry tone, the teen couldn’t stop his body from reacting, trembling with anticipation. He licked his lips greedily, tasting Brian. “Yes.”

Brian pulled him from the floor and roughly pushed him down on the bed. Justin opened his arms eagerly and drew the man to him. Brian stretched his length over the boy, completely enveloping the smaller body just the way he knew Justin liked. “Do you want him the way you want me?” he taunted again, his lips lightly teasing the sensitive skin behind Justin’s ear.

Justin couldn’t see Brian’s face, but he imagined the hard lines formed by the strain to control his temper. Brian was going to make him pay for what he had done earlier, opening him up to his feelings, and he was going to pay dearly. And gladly.

When Justin hesitated, Brian lifted his weight slightly letting the cool air slip between their bodies. “Do you?”

As expected, Justin reacted instantly. “No!” he cried, desperately clutching the man to him.

The teen’s vulnerable admission only fueled the older man’s anger. If Justin had any illusions of ever being free of Brian, he was sorely mistaken. Brian’s feral nature demanded he reclaim what was his in the most primitive way. The man devoured Justin’s swollen lips again and fed ravenously as hands deftly sought familiar flesh.

Justin instinctively drew his legs up in invitation to the nimble fingers that probed between his cheeks. “Ahh…” he sighed as one breached the puckered opening and slipped inside. “Yes…please…” he moaned into Brian’s mouth as the digit plunged deep, receded, and plunged deeper still. It withdrew again and Brian added a second finger when he thrust back inside. Brian lubed the hole thoroughly, scissoring his fingers apart until the tight ring of muscle gave easily. Justin felt himself opening up, and writhed on the teasing appendages to fill the void.

Satisfied the teen was ready Brian drew Justin’s legs over his shoulders, slicked a condom on, and positioned himself at the entrance. Without preamble the man thrust hard and buried himself to the hilt in one stroke.

Justin screamed through gritted teeth as he was brutally mounted, his body naturally bucking against the intrusion. The teen’s hands wantonly clawed at the man’s back and hips to keep Brian from being expelled as he adjusted.

Brian swooped down and attacked the teen’s bruised lips again. “You like that?” he rasped around their dueling tongues.

Justin’s only response was to lift his hips, bringing Brian deeper.

The older man growled and slowly withdrew, angling his next thrust to stroke that tender sweet spot on the return glide.

Justin gasped as he was filled again and fireworks exploded behind his eyes.

“You want more?” Brian grunted as the teen thrashed beneath him. He set a demanding rhythm, working his cock like a piston in deep, hard strokes.

Justin chanted, “Yes…more…yes…faster…yes,” until he was lost and could only wail incoherently as Brian repeatedly jabbed the sensitive gland.

“That’s it, baby…let me hear you,” Brian coaxed as he doubled his efforts and fucked the boy harder. “Does he make you scream like I do?”

Justin could only continue to mewl as his head lolled on the pillow.

“Does he fuck you like I do?” Brian demanded as he felt the teen tightening around him, almost on the edge. Teetering himself, Brian tugged on the boy’s cock and threw him over first. “Does he love you like I do?” he breathed hoarsely as Justin’s orgasm ripped through him and pulled Brian under in its wake.

As the pleasure receded, both men slowly came back to their senses. Brian eventually withdrew and discarded the condom. He rolled onto his back and saw Justin’s face hovering over him. The boy’s eyes were wide and his mouth was open to speak. Brian silenced him with a finger to his lips. “Not now,” he pleaded as he pulled the teen into his arms. Justin burrowed against his side and curled around him, sighing contently as Brian stroked his back and lulled him to sleep.

As Justin relaxed into a deep slumber, Brian caressed the angelic face nestled under his chin. He kissed the top of the blonde head and wondered what the fuck he was going to do now.

 

***
 

Brian woke later and knew he was alone before he even felt the cool sheets next to him.

“I’m sorry…no, I’m fine…really…Ethan, please…there’s no need, I’m just tired…” Brian’s eyes focused in the evening dusk and saw Justin’s silhouette pacing in front of the living room windows. “I know…uh-huh…me too…okay, bye.” Justin snapped the phone shut and leaned his forehead against the cool glass.

Brian silently came up behind him and wrapped his arms around the teen, resting his chin on Justin’s shoulder. His lips grazed the boy’s temple and Justin sighed. “I should go,” he said softly.

“Back to bed? Good idea,” Brian agreed, his head dipping to nuzzle the teen’s neck.

Justin reluctantly pulled away. “I have to go home.”

Brian’s face remained expressionless. “Why?”

Justin took a deep breath. As happy as he’d been a few hours ago, reality had sunk in when he woke up. “Brian, nothing’s changed.”

The older man barked a harsh laugh. “I thought that was my line.” His steely gaze locked on the teen. “I’ve been telling you that all along. You were the one who tried to change things, but you’re right back where you started. What’s that tell you?”

Justin hated when Brian talked to him like a child. “I haven’t changed my mind,” he replied angrily. “You may love me Brian, hell, you even said it out loud and the sky didn't fall, but you’ll still resent it, and me, because you hate being controlled by your emotions. At least Ethan wants to be with me.”

Brian felt his jealousy rise again and pushed it back down. He’d already established Ethan was nothing compared to himself, so what did he have to do to make Justin understand? “No, I hate someone telling me how I’m supposed to act on those emotions. You said you always knew how I felt, but because I wouldn’t express it the way you wanted me to what I did do wasn’t good enough. If you want to keep playing house with the little fiddle boy, you go right ahead. But I guarantee he’ll run off with his tail between his legs at the first sign of trouble because flowers and violin music don’t mean shit in the real world. That’s all his bullshit romance is-- a load of crap. It’s not real, Sunshine.” He cupped the back of the teen’s head and pulled him closer. “Only this is,” he whispered seductively as his tongue parted Justin’s soft lips and plundered the sweet cavern. Justin struggled against him, but Brian kissed him harder until the boy stopped protesting and melted against him. He finally pulled away when they were both breathless. “You can be with him,” Brian murmured huskily, “but you will always be mine.”

Justin shook off the haze of lust and shoved him away. “I’m not a fucking toy!”

Brian eyed him wearily. “I never said you were.”

“But you certainly treated me like one. You passed me around to tricks like I was a talking dildo.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Justin, you got what you wanted. You set the rules so don’t--”

“I got you?” the teen interrupted.

Brian blinked at him mutely.

Justin stepped closer and looked in his eyes. “You’re telling me that you are mine?” he asked sarcastically. “Prove it,” the teen challenged.

Brian sighed heavily. “Do I have to draw you fucking map?” he sneered. “You were the only one living here!”

Justin huffed a laugh. “You’ll have to excuse me if I didn’t see that as a bright neon sign you cared. I thought you just wanted cock on tap.”

Brian’s eyes flashed angrily and Justin knew he was playing with fire, but he was not going to back down. This was the only way it would ever work for them. He knew he was a fool for trying to get Brian back, but he couldn’t help himself. Part of him hoped Brian would throw him out again so he could go back to Ethan and forget this ever happened. But it would never be the same now. Only a few hours with the man had undone everything he thought he wanted from Ethan. Nothing he felt for Ethan compared to this.

Justin stood his ground and stared defiantly at the angry man. “No more games or rules, Brian. If you want me to be yours, you have to prove you are mine. Equal partners.” Justin held out his hand. “I promise to go slow…the first time,” he added wryly.

Brian’s anger slowly ebbed as he realized the teen was offering a second chance, but then fear rose in its place. He couldn’t be the boyfriend Justin wanted. How long would it be before Justin left again? He knew he should just tell the teen to go back to his fiddle player, but he couldn’t let go. He never could. Justin’s hand was still extended as he waited for Brian to decide, and Brian finally took it.

Justin closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck. He looked into the dark hazel eyes and held their nervous gaze. He slowly stroked the nape of Brian’s neck and felt the tension ease away. He smiled reassuringly and stood on his toes for a kiss. “I love you,” he whispered against Brian’s lips.

‘Tell him,’ the voice in Brian’s head urged. ‘Tell him so he won’t leave again.’ Brian swallowed the lump in his throat. “Baby, I…” he tried, but froze.

Justin kissed him again, his small hands gently rubbing Brian's shoulders. “I know.”

Brian was flooded with relief as he crushed the teen to himself and lifted the boy off his feet. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian’s waist and held tight as Brian carried him back to the bedroom. Justin peppered Brian’s face and neck with hot sloppy kisses along the way as Brian sensually kneaded the firm globes in his hands.

They collapsed on the bed, a tangle of groping limbs. Justin wiggled from beneath Brian and straddled the back of the man’s thighs, pinning him to the bed. He pressed himself against Brian’s back, kissing across the broad shoulders as his growing hard-on rubbed against the hot crack. The older man moaned and lifted his hips enticingly.

Justin leaned over Brian to grab a condom and lube from the nightstand. He set the items next to Brian and ran his hand down the man’s flank as he kissed his cheek. “Relax, sweetheart, I want you to always remember this,” he teased.

A smile flickered across Brian’s face as he turned his head for a smoldering kiss. He felt Justin nudge a leg between his thighs and he willingly spread his legs apart. Justin settled himself between them and nibbled the back of Brian’s neck until the older man sighed. Then the boy’s tongue was blazing a hot trail down his spine. As his baby moved lower, Brian rested his head on his arms and his eyes drifted closed…letting Justin claim him.