Voices Carry



 

Michael was unpacking a new shipment of comic books when his cell phone rang. He dumped the load in his arms onto the counter and cringed. No matter how many times he scoured it he still couldn’t erase the memory of Brian…
He shook his head and fished the phone out of his pocket. The caller id showed Ben’s number and another pang of guilt stabbed his chest. “Hi, handsome. What’s up?”

“Hey, babe, I’m running behind. Why don’t you go to Babylon with the guys and I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Actually, I was just going to call you. I got another shipment I want to get on the racks before I leave. Why don’t we just meet for a late dinner?”

“Michael, I don’t want your friends to think I’m keeping you locked in a tower. Go out and have fun. Call Brian.”

“I can’t. I have to work.” Michael was starting to panic.

“When was the last time you talked to him?” Ben persisted.

“A few days ago,” Michael lied.

“How’s he doing?”

“Sucking and fucking. Business as usual.”

“Michael, despite what he wants everyone to think he’s probably more upset about Justin than he’s letting on. You’re his best friend and he needs you. The work can wait. Call him and go out. I’ll talk to you later.” Before Michael could protest, Ben hung up.

“Shit.” Michael snapped the phone closed and dropped it on the counter. He hadn’t seen or heard from Brian since that night. Nobody really noticed since they assumed Brian was on a binge and out of contact until he came up for air. Nobody except Ben. How was he ever going to be friends with Brian again and make sure no one ever found out what they did? It couldn’t be put off any longer, he decided. He had to talk to Brian. He picked up the phone and called the loft.

“Yeah.”

“We need to talk. I’m at the store,” Michael said and hung up. He set the phone down and picked up the comics he would file while he waited.

 

***
 

“What?!?” Daphne cried. “Are you sure? I mean, maybe it wasn’t what you thought, maybe--”

“It was pretty obvious he had his dick in Michael’s ass. They were bent over the counter at the fucking store,” Justin replied hotly.

“Oh, my God. Good thing I don’t like Michael or comic books. I’ll never be able to set foot in there again. I’d be imagining them…Yuck!”

Justin grimaced. “I don’t have to imagine it. I see them every time I close my eyes, Daph. I don’t know how to make it stop.”

Daphne put her arm around her friend and linked their hands together. “Did you tell Brian?”

“Yeah. He looked sick about it, until he opened his mouth. Then it was his usual Kinney Crap. It was just a fuck. It was none of my business. If I couldn’t handle it I should leave.”

“He threw you out?” Daphne shouted.

Justin shushed her with a stern finger. “I don’t need to get evicted before I get unpacked. No. I told Brian I was leaving and we started fighting. I pushed him into a corner and he defended himself like he always does. I swear I could see the wall fly up.”

“Have you talked to him since? Are they… together?”

Justin looked away. “I don’t know. I think Ben and Michael are still together, but who knows. They already did it once behind his back, what’s to stop them from still going at it?”

Daphne shuddered. “Ew, that’s just gross.”

“Thanks, Daph,” Justin scowled.

Daphne punched him in the arm. “Not sex! I mean Michael having sex. I can’t believe Brian would lower his standards like that. Michael’s not even hot!”

Justin smiled slightly. He loved Daphne so much for being his friend. Unconditionally. Why wasn’t love like that with everyone? That’s how he used to love Brian. Why couldn’t Brian love him back? It probably wouldn’t hurt as much if he actually believed Brian couldn’t love anyone. But he did, just not him. “But Brian loves Michael,” Justin reminded her.

“So? Brian is in love with you. Big difference.” Justin looked away. “You know, this reminds me of that big birthday party disaster. The whole thing screams ‘Brian Kinney plays God’.”

Justin sighed. “I thought of that too. But it doesn’t matter. It’s not Brian’s job to fix the world. Michael is an adult. And he had a relationship with me. That should’ve come first, but it never did.”

Daphne rolled her eyes. “We’re talking about Brian here. He isn’t exactly the poster boy for relationships, you know. I thought you set the rules and were okay with that.”

Justin glared at her. “So, you think I’m wrong?”

Daphne held up her hands defensively. “No. I’m just having a hard time believing you suddenly gave up.”

“I left him, didn’t I?”

“Riiight. I’m sure everyone’s taking bets on how long that’s gonna last. You two will fight and fuck for the rest of your lives. It’s your destiny.”

He chose to ignore her last comment as he shifted to lie down on the futon and pulled Daphne up with him. “I’m tired,” he punctuated with a yawn. “I wanna nap for a bit before we try and get that baker’s rack together.”

She got the obvious hint to let it go and laid her head against his shoulder, suddenly yawning herself. “Let’s just throw a sheet over the box and make it a coffee table.”

 

***
 

Brian knocked on the window of the shop and signaled to Michael to let him in. Michael opened the door and relocked it behind Brian.

“Alright, Mikey, I’m here. What’s the emergency.”

Michael’s knuckles were white as he clutched the comic in his hand. “What do you think? We need to talk. You know…about what happened.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “We fucked. You wanted it, you got it.” He spread his hands in front of himself. “Anything else?”

“We cheated on our boyfriends, not to mention fucked up our friendship,” Michael huffed as he threw the comic down.

Brian arched an eyebrow. “I didn’t cheat on anyone. You’re the one with different rules so you have to deal with it. And our friendship is the same as it’s always been. It was just a fuck, nothing’s changed.”

Amazingly, his words didn’t sting as badly as one would’ve expected. Michael was far more worried about losing Ben then he cared about finally getting Brian. “Brian, no one can ever find out,” he pleaded.

“I’m not taking out an ad,” Brian snapped. He didn’t need everyone ripping him a new asshole for hurting Michael. And Ben. And Justin. They wouldn’t understand. They never did. Not even Justin. Shit. Justin. “It’s too late,” he sighed, absently rubbing his furrowed brow.

“What?” Michael barely whispered. “Who’d you tell? Justin? What’d you do that for? Fuck, Brian…Oh, my God! That’s why he left? What the fuck were you thinking?” Michael screamed.

Brian didn’t appear to have heard any of it as he calmly ran his hand along the counter and looked out the window. What had it been like to see them together? He couldn’t imagine it because he didn’t want to. He would have to imagine seeing Justin with someone he thought could take him away before he could even begin to comprehend the pain and he wouldn’t do it. “He saw us,” he finally admitted.

Michael followed his gaze out the window and paled. “Oh, shit.” Suddenly feeling exposed, Michael grabbed Brian’s arm and dragged him to the back room.

Brian removed Michael’s hand from his arm and pulled out a cigarette. “It’s all part of the thrill, Mikey. Sex in a public place…the danger of being caught,” he drawled. He took a long drag and watched the smoke billow out.

Michael was pacing back and forth and hadn’t noticed Brian’s cigarette until he saw the smoke. “You can’t smoke in here!” he screeched.

“I’m not going to burn your store down,” Brian sneered.

“But it’ll smell,” Michael whined.

“So open the fucking door,” Brian ordered as he flicked his ash into the coffee cup on Michael’s desk.

Michael used a box to prop the back door open. He took several deep breaths of evening air before turning back to Brian. “He hasn’t told anyone,” he stated. “Who would’ve thought the little shit could keep his mouth shut. Or is he just waiting to hang me with it?”

Rage flickered across Brian’s features before he took another drag. “He doesn’t give a shit about you anymore than you do about him.”

“That’s not true!” Michael sputtered. “You just never say anything about your relationship. How can I care if I don’t know anything?”

“You need to stop hiding behind my cape if you want to know what’s going on,” Brian replied coolly. He was deliberately cruel to shut Michael up. He didn’t want to have to deal with either of them right now. Or ever again. He wanted to go to Babylon, and get high and fuck.

But instead of backing down, Michael slowly smiled. His relationship with Brian had changed so drastically that night. Fourteen years of physical yearning had dissipated and disappeared in fourteen minutes. Now that his desire wasn’t fueling his adoration, he couldn’t think of a damn reason why he shouldn’t hate Brian Kinney.

Brian embodied all the characteristics he lacked. Suddenly seeing Brian as a man instead of a hero only highlighted his own shortcomings. When Brian was on a pedestal, he had an excuse for his own failings because he was only mortal compared to the god. But now, he had to admit it was time to grow up and be Brian’s equal, and he could do it. Brian had proven he was worth it time and again. They were changing, they were in love with other people, but they would always be friends. Michael’s grin spread wider. “No problem there. Now that I’ve seen you without your tights, I know you’re just a man like everyone else.”

Slightly startled, Brian smiled back and pressed his forehead to Michael’s. “It’s about fucking time,” he breathed, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders.

“So, what about Justin?”

Suddenly, the weight on his chest doubled. Brian tried to pull away but Michael held him still. “I know he’s upset, but he loves you. And you love him. Why’d you let him leave?”

“It was his decision,” Brian replied flatly.

Michael scowled. “And you didn’t try to stop him, did you?”

“Mikey,” Brian warned.

“So, he was upset because he saw us, and instead of trying to fix it you probably helped him pack. You are such a stupid asshole!”

Just then, he saw Ben standing in the doorway.