Thanksgiving

172 Forrest Hills Road

As Emmett, Lindsay, Melanie and Gus all sat down for Thanksgiving dinner, Lindsay couldn’t help but think that something was missing. They’d gotten the turkey, the dressing, and the cranberry sauce. She’d made her grandmother’s famous green bean casserole. Emmett had made a delicious looking pumpkin pie for dessert. They even had a wonderful wine to go with dinner. She mentally checked over the list again and again convinced that she’d forgotten something.

“Where’s Brian?” Emmett asked.

“He usually has dinner with Debbie, doesn’t he?” Melanie asked Lindsay. The blonde woman nodded and they started to eat, though Lindsay couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d forgotten something.

1453 Harris Drive

Debbie and Vic put the finishing touches on dinner while Ben and Rodney sat in the living room talking and Michael finished setting the table. Michael couldn’t figure out why he felt like something was missing. He knew that his mother never forgot a single detail when it came to big family meals like this. He finished setting the table and smiled as he watched Debbie pull the turkey out of the oven. As they sat down to dinner he still felt this nagging in the back of his mind.

“Where’s Brian?” he questioned. Brian usually had Thanksgiving dinner with them. That’s why it seemed that something was wrong.

“Justin told me that they’re having dinner with his mother,” Debbie answered. Michael sighed and everyone caught it, but that sigh didn't mean what everyone thought it meant. Even though he’d had the assurance that Brian was with Justin, he couldn’t help but shaking the feeling deep down inside that maybe that wasn’t right. As everyone started eating, Brian was soon forgotten.

740 Daniel Court

Justin helped his mother finish up with the turkey and the food. He tried to stay in the kitchen as much as possible, not sure of how he felt about his mother’s new boyfriend. The guy seemed nice enough but there was something about him that Justin just didn’t like.

Daphne stayed out in the living room talking with Molly and Derek. Daphne decided to go with Justin because her parents were going out of town for the holiday to visit one of her many uncles. They made small talk until Jennifer and Justin told them that dinner was served.

“Where’s Brian?” Jennifer asked, honestly curious as they all sat down for dinner. At the question something in Justin’s mind sent out a flag, but he just ignored it, not sure what the cause was.

“He always has Thanksgiving dinner with Debbie,” he answered. Jennifer nodded and everyone started talking about various things. All thoughts of Brian disappeared except for a little voice in the back of Justin’s mind that was telling him that not all was well.

6 Fuller corner of Tremont

Brian sat on the floor staring out one of the huge loft windows. Normally now he’d be having dinner with Debbie but she’d never asked if he was coming. He didn’t like going to her house for things like this unless he knew he was specifically invited. With Vic and Rodney and Michael and Ben he just assumed the house was too full and that there just wasn’t room for him. He sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair.

He knew that Lindsay and Melanie were having dinner at their house but they too hadn’t invited him and he tried to avoid pissing Melanie off as much as possible. She was due any day and he didn’t want to get her angry in the fear that it would set off early labor, and then if anything went wrong he would be blamed for it. So he didn’t go over to their place uninvited anymore unless it couldn’t be avoided. Besides, they had Emmett over having dinner with them; they certainly didn’t have room for Brian.

Then there was the Taylor clan. Brian knew that Jennifer didn’t like him and certainly wouldn’t want him at a family dinner. They had at best a mutual tolerance for each other and that was simply for Justin’s sake. Besides the fact that he wasn’t invited there either and if he were to show up at Jennifer’s house uninvited, Justin would tear him a new asshole. He chuckled slightly at the fact that he was actually scared of incurring Justin’s wrath. He was about six inches shorter than Brian and weighed about fifty pounds less, but he was a spitfire with a temper from hell and you did not want to make him mad at you.

He sighed heavily and got up, grabbing his jacket. He started to reach for the keys that weren’t there and sighed. He’d had to sell the car just to keep from losing the loft. Since Justin wasn’t in school anymore he was working as much as he could so that he would have enough money to pay the bills he shared with Daphne as well as help cover Brian’s bills. He hated that the young man had to do that, but he also knew that he couldn’t turn his back on the help, especially after the speech he’d given Justin about a man knowing when to ask for help. He looked in his wallet to determine whether or not he could afford a cab ride and a meal. It was cold outside and he really didn't want to walk. He sighed heavily when he saw the lonely five-dollar bill in his wallet.

“Looks like you’re walking, anyway,” he said to himself as he slid his wallet back into his pocket. He zipped up his jacket and grabbed his gloves and scarf before heading out the door. Brian decided since he had to walk and he needed cheap food that he would go to the diner. It wasn’t that far of a walk and he knew that they would be open, even though it was a holiday. His mood darkened when he saw how empty the diner was. There was simply one lonely waiter.

“Hey, Brian,” Kiki said as he took a seat at the counter.

“Hey,” Brian responded. With Brian out of a job and Justin working all the time, Brian spent a lot of his time at the diner lately. To the point that all of the wait staff had gotten to know him as well as Brian Kinney ever let anyone know him.

“I figured you’d be having dinner with any number of your extended family,” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Brian looked at her a minute, then sighed, propping his chin on his folded hands on the counter. “Apparently I’m not wanted.” He didn’t see any point in putting on the mask. Kiki knew him well enough that Brian felt comfortable with her. Well, he’d felt comfortable with Kenny and this was essentially the same person so….

“What do you mean, not wanted?” She was horrified and confused all at the same time. How could this be?

“Nobody invited me,” Brian said with a sigh. “Debbie and Vic and Mikey and Ben and Rodney are all having dinner together. Linds and Mel and Emmett are eating together. Justin is at his mom’s.” He sighed again. Kiki reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Anything I can do to help you feel a little better?”

“Turkey on whole wheat, no mayo.”

“That’s it?” She raised an eyebrow. “We’ve got the Thanksgiving special…”

“Is it more than five bucks?” he asked. When Kiki looked confused he explained. “I’ve only got five bucks.” He sighed again and Kiki smiled.

“It’s on the house, Brian. You deserve it.” She went back to put in the order, then came back and got Brian something to drink. He decided that he wanted a coke so she filled a glass, giving it a little splash of cherry and handing it over. Brian smiled warmly, his mask completely stripped away by the waitress’s kindness even though he was usually an asshole to her. The bell dinged indicating his order was ready and Kiki came back putting a plate in front of Brian. It was piled high with turkey and dressing and green beans and mashed potatoes.

“Looks great,” Brian said before he started to dig in.

Since Brian was the only customer Kiki came around and sat beside him and they talked while he ate. Soon he’d forgotten that everyone had forgotten about him. Brian never thought he’d find himself taking comfort in having a meal with Kiki. Even though they were what he would consider friends, they only ever spent time together at the diner when Justin was working and the place was crowded and Brian had appearances to keep up. It was nice to be able to just sit back and relax and be himself. This wasn’t such a bad Thanksgiving after all.

*****

Justin decided, after dinner, that he would spend the rest of the evening with Brian. For some reason he found himself severely horny and he wanted to get that taken care of, among other things. Daphne dropped him off at the loft and he noticed that all the windows were dark. He decided to go up anyway, having a key. He went into the darkened loft and turned all the lights on, the way Brian liked it, though now there were only a couple of lamps where there had been lights everywhere before. He decided to light a few candles to add light and heat to the room. After sitting around waiting for Brian for half an hour, he decided to find out when he was coming home. He pulled out his cell phone, since Brian had lost his phone months ago, and called Debbie’s.

“Hello?” she answered the phone and sounded like she was laughing.

“Hey, Debbie.”

“Sunshine! What’s up, sweetie?”

“I was just wondering when Brian was going to head home.”

            “

Um…..I don’t know…..”

“Isn’t he there with you?” Justin’s brow furrowed.

“No, I thought he was having dinner with you.”

“No. Daphne and I went over to my mother’s house. I thought he was going to have dinner with you.”

“Well, he’s not here, Sunshine. Maybe he went and had dinner with Lindsay and Melanie,” she suggested. Justin sighed a little, having forgotten that possibility.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Thanks, Deb.” He then hung up. He waited a couple of minutes to see if Brian would come in the door, then called the munchers.

“Hello!” Emmett answered the phone excitedly. Apparently the women were too busy.

“Emmett, hey.”

“Justin. How nice of you to call. What can I do for you?” He chuckled slightly and Justin couldn’t help but join in.

“Could I talk to Brian?”

“Um…..I’m sure you could if he was here.”

“Did he just leave or something?” Justin’s brow furrowed again.

“No, sweetie, he never came over here. I thought he was having dinner with Debbie.”

“No…..he never showed there. And he didn’t have dinner with you guys?”

“No, sweetie. Sorry.”

“Oh….okay. Um…..thanks, Em.” Justin hung up the phone and sat down hard on the bed. He’d made his way in there as he talked to Emmett. He started to feel sick to his stomach as he realized what happened. They’d all forgotten about Brian, assuming that he had other plans. Justin really started to worry. He knew how tentative Brian’s hold on his self-confidence was to begin with, then to have this blow dealt to him….ignored by the only family he had that actually cared.

The fact that the loft was dark when he’d gotten there got Justin’s heart racing a mile a minute. What if Brian had done something….had hurt himself? Everyone knew that Brian had a self destructive streak, especially when he was feeling depressed and what could be more depressing than being left alone on a day that was usually spent with family. He was just about to pick up the phone and call the police when he heard the loft door open. He heard Brian laughing and wondered what the hell was going on.

“Come on in,” Brian said and Justin frowned. He’d brought home a trick.

“Are you sure?” Justin’s eyes went wide. He’d know Kiki’s falsetto anywhere.

“Yeah. Besides, I’m not making two trips from the door to the kitchen when it’s just a few steps.” He chuckled. Justin got up, went to the doorway and saw that Brian and Kiki were both loaded down with boxes and bags. Brian started to unload everything and put it in the fridge.

“This is a great place,” Kiki commented as she helped Brian put everything away.

“Thanks.” Brian smiled and it was a beautiful genuine smile. Justin was amazed because Brian rarely smiled like that. They kept trying to put food in the fridge and Brian looked at everything that was left on the counter. “I don’t think there’s enough room for all of it.” He laughed and Kiki joined in.

“One thing I’m good at is making big things fit in little spaces.” She looked at Brian with a smirk and a raised eyebrow and then they both laughed again.

“You gave me enough food to last me a month. That is, of course, unless Justin comes over. Then it’ll last a week.” Brian pretended to wince in pain when Kiki hit him in the arm. He chuckled and they went back to putting things away.

“I’m sorry,” Kiki said after they’d finished putting everything away.

“For what?” Brian was genuinely confused.

“For everything that’s happened. For the fact that you still don’t have a job. And for having to spend Thanksgiving with me at the diner.” Kiki sighed and looked down a little bit and Justin almost fell over when Brian hugged her.

“At least I got to spend it with somebody, right?” He smiled as he moved back and Kiki returned the smile. “As for the other stuff…it wasn’t your fault so no need to be sorry.” His smile became tinged with just a little bit of sadness. “Thanks though. For the food and….everything.”

“Anytime, Brian.” Justin was a little floored to hear Kiki using her real voice, though he guessed that maybe at that instance he should be referring to him/her as Kenny but he was still so confused by the whole thing. They shared another quick hug.

“You know, you should drop the whole Kiki thing. You’re a pretty hot guy but you make one fucking ugly woman,” Brian said. They both shared a laugh knowing that it was Brian’s way of keeping things from getting too emotional. Kiki left and Brian reached into the fridge, digging out a bottle of water and turning to head into the bedroom. He almost hit the ceiling when he saw Justin. “Holy fuck! How long have you been standing there?”

“The whole time,” Justin said with a soft smile. Brian just nodded and took a drink of water, knowing that Justin had seen the entire exchange between him and Kiki.

“Have fun at your mom’s?” There was the tiniest edge to Brian’s tone as he made his way into the bedroom.

“She’s got a new boyfriend.”

“What’s he like?”

 “He’s okay,” Justin answered and once again Brian nodded. He lay down on the bed and just looked at Justin. “I’m sorry, Bri.”

“For what?” Brian questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I know you had to spend Thanksgiving with Kiki at the diner. I heard her say it. I’m sorry. I just…”

“Thought I was going to Deb’s?”

“Yeah.” Justin nodded and Brian just shrugged.

“You thought I was going to Deb’s. Deb probably though I was going with you or to the munchers’. Linds and Mel probably assumed I was going to Deb’s. It happens.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, of course not. Why would I be mad? I mean, everyone I care about just up and forgets about me. What’s there to be mad about?” Though his face held no expression, his voice carried the obvious anger.

“Brian…” Justin started and Brian cut him off. He got up off the bed and glared at Justin.

“No, Justin. I don’t want to hear it. Nobody even bothered to check with me and see what I was planning to do today. Everybody just assumed that I was going to be somewhere else. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To have the people that are actually supposed to care about you completely forget that you even exist?”

“My mom asked where you were…” Justin started. Brian couldn’t keep from laughing, though it was more anger than humor.

“That’s just great.” He shook his head, then sighed.

“Brian, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, sorry’s bullshit.” Brian turned to go into the living room but Justin stopped him by latching onto his wrist.

“Don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Shut me out. Don’t do this. I understand that you’re hurting. We all forgot about you. It’s a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal, Justin. It just goes to prove what I’ve thought all along.” The words were out of Brian’s mouth before he could stop them and he braced himself for Justin’s reaction.

“What?”

“I said it just goes to prove what I’ve thought all along.”

“What, that nobody gives a shit about you? That you’re not worth the time of day, that’s why we all forgot about you? That we don’t actually care” Justin was starting to get angry. Brian just stood there with raised eyebrows looking at Justin like he’d just hit the nail on the head. “Brian, that’s total bullshit!”

“Is it?”

“Look, we all assumed you were going to be somewhere else. Yes, we should have asked, but how did we know that you weren’t going to go to Deb’s? I told Debbie that I was going to my mom’s but I said ‘we’ because I was talking about Daphne, and I guess she just assumed I was talking about you.”

“Yeah, and you see where I ended up in the midst of all these assumptions.”

“It was a mistake. A big mistake and I’m really sorry. I don’t know what else I can say, Brian.”

“Then don’t say anything. There’s no point. You said it all already tonight.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I spent my night in the diner with Kiki, who apparently seems to be the only real friend I have. At least since I lost everything anyway.” This time Brian did leave the bedroom, going to get himself a drink. Justin stood there dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe Brian would think that.

“Brian, you can’t possibly think that we don’t want you around because you’re broke.”

“Can’t I? When I had money nobody ever just assumed I was going to be anywhere. I got reminded repeatedly of family dinners and social functions and anything else you could think of. Now that I’m worth the five dollars I have in my wallet, which I wouldn’t have if Kiki hadn’t been kind enough to cover my dinner for me, nobody gives a flying fuck whether I’m actually going to be anywhere.” He picked up the bottle of Beam, looked at the glasses, then just took a swig directly from the bottle.

Justin stood there watching Brian for a minute. “This has nothing to do with whether or not you have money, Brian. How much you're worth doesn’t matter.”

“Maybe to you.” His voice was shaking slightly and he cursed his inability to keep his emotions in check. Justin snaked his arms around Brian’s waist and looked up at the man he loved. He could see pain and disappointment and self doubt swimming in those beautiful hazel eyes and he hated that he’d been partially responsible for putting that there. Justin rested his head against Brian’s chest and started gently rubbing his back. It wasn’t long before Brian put the bottle down and wrapped his arms around Justin, burying his face in the soft blond strands in the hopes of keeping himself from crying.

“I love you, Brian. With or without money, whether you believe it or not.” His voice was soft, but filled with emotion that left no doubt as to the sincerity of the words. Brian simply nodded, kissing the top of Justin’s head. They stayed like that, holding and comforting each other, for several minutes before Justin moved back and took Brian’s hand, leading him to the bedroom.

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