Diagnosis II

Brian decided to take the week off work. He explained the situation to Vance and the man was actually willing to give him the time off. He knew that if Brian were worrying about his health he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his job. That, and the fact that all of the clients were more than happy to reschedule, got Brian the week off. He decided to go ahead and go to the diner to meet the guys for breakfast.

He walked into the diner and took a seat in the booth with the guys. He wasn't really paying attention to them, he just wanted to get something to eat and then go home. When he finally looked up, all eyes were on him. He sighed heavily.

"She fucking told you, didn't she?"

"Told us what?" Mikey tried his best innocent look.

"You know what." He glared at all of them. They all just looked down.

"Brian, she was really worried. She was messing up orders and having a hard time with things. We all knew something was wrong and we pressured her into telling us. Don't be mad at Debbie. She didn't want to tell us, we made her," Ben pleaded.

"No one can make Debbie do anything she doesn't want to do," Brian growled.

"Brian, she was really worried," Ted commented.

"Probably still is," said Emmett.

Brian sighed. "She still shouldn't have told you."

"So......" Michael said.

"So, what? I don't go for tests until Monday, Mikey, so I won't know anything until then." They all just nodded and sat there in silence a minute.

About then, Justin came over to take their order. As he wrote down the orders, he kept eyeing Brian. Every now and then he would sniff and Brian tried to determine if he was crying or not.

"You okay, honey?" Emmett asked the blond.

"Yeah, just my allergies." Justin answered. He then took the orders to get them filled. Brian watched him go and sighed heavily. He had a distinct feeling that Justin knew too and he was surprised at Justin's reaction.

 

*****

Friday night Brian was getting ready to go out with the guys, when his head started pounding worse than before. He tried to get himself into the mood to go dancing but it was hard considering he could barely see. He managed to make his way over to the phone and was very thankful he had Mikey on speed dial.

"Hello?" Mikey answered.

"Mikey......I can't go out with you guys tonight." Brian was trying to keep his voice from sounding strained but he could tell he failed.

"Brian, are you okay?"

"My head is pounding. I could barely see to dial the phone, let alone drive."

"Okay, well.......maybe some sleep will help."

"Maybe," Brian said.

"Later, Brian."

"Later." Brian hung up the phone and then went to lie down. He couldn't sleep, however. The pain was just too intense. That and the fact that he was scared out of his mind.

 

*****

Brian made his way into the diner and over to the booth where the guys were sitting. He looked horrible. He was wearing his sunglasses, but it was still obvious that he hadn't gotten much sleep. The tests had been two days ago and he didn't have the test results yet.

"Brian.......maybe you should go home," Mikey said.

"I need to get something to eat," Brian commented.

"Do you know when they're gonna have the results?" Emmett asked.

"Supposed to be sometime today." They all just nodded. Debbie came over to take the order.

"Brian....."

"Don't say anything; just get me a cup of coffee and some pancakes, okay?" Debbie could tell by the tone in his voice that he wasn't in the mood for mothering. She simply nodded, took the other orders and then went to fill them.

"Nothing you do helps the headaches?" Ben asked. Brian shook his head, then winced.

"Have you tried sex?" Ted asked. Brian glared at him. "I'm not making any kind of snide comment, Brian, I'm being serious. Endorphins are natural painkillers. As a matter of fact, endorphin means endogenous morphine."

"Thank you for the science lesson. Can I get some silence now please?" Brian slipped his sunglasses off and everyone got a brief glance at bloodshot eyes before he rested his head on his folded arms on the table. The four friends exchanged worried glances, but said nothing. Brian sat up when Debbie brought the food. They ate in silence for a few moments, all of them jumping when Brian's cell phone rang. After calming down, Brian answered his phone.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Kinney?"

"Yes."

"This is Judy, Dr. Henderson's nurse."

"Okay."

"We've got the test results back and he’d like you to come in to discuss them with you." Brian's face suddenly went pale, the people at the table exchanged glances. Debbie came over when she noticed the sudden change in mood.

"Um.......when?"

"As soon as possible."

"Okay.....I......I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and looked at everyone.

"Brian...what's wrong?" Mikey asked.

"They want me to go in to discuss the test results."

Debbie gasped and put a hand over her mouth. Emmett, who was sitting next to Brian, put an arm around his shoulder and was a little shocked that Brian actually allowed the gesture. The looks of pity on all their faces were too much for Brian to bear so he just got up and left, having to get to the doctor's office anyway.

 

*****

Brian was forced to wait about a half an hour before the doctor came in to talk to him. He was a nervous wreck by the time the man arrived. Everyone knew that it wasn't good when they wanted you to come in. It had to be something serious. And to make matters worse, his head was pounding harder than ever. Dr Henderson came in and looked through the file in his hands, then looked up at Brian.

"Brian, have you ever heard of a disease known as Steinman Syndrome?"

Brian looked confused for a minute, then shook his head. "No, I haven't."

"Not surprising. It's a very rare condition. As a matter of fact there have only been five reported cases in the last fifty years."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Brian asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You are the fifth reported case."

"Huh?"

"Let me ask you a few questions that may help clear things up, okay?"

"Okay."

"Are you extremely sexually active?"

"You could say that."

"And how long have you been sexually active?"

"Since I was about fourteen." The doctor nodded and wrote something down. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Let me explain to you exactly what Steinman Syndrome is, Brian. It's a genetic mutation. It causes the formation of an extra gland in the brain called the tryptothalamus. This gland produces a hormone known as tryptogen."

"Okay."

"The production of the chemical doesn't actually begin until puberty. Apparently there is some connection between testosterone and tryptogen because this condition has only been found in males. The production of tryptogen is what is causing your headaches. There is a negative reaction between tryptogen and other hormones in the body that cause these headaches and the more the chemical builds up, the worse the headaches get."

"But.......if I was born with this, why didn't I have headaches before?"

"Well, this is the interesting part. You said that you've been sexually active since you were fourteen years old? Frequent masturbation in your younger years as well as promiscuity in your adult life?"

"Yeah."

"And something happened recently to cease that activity?"

"Yeah, it's been a few weeks," Brian said. Dr Henderson nodded.

"When you have an orgasm, beta-endorphins are released. In the study of Steinman Syndrome it's been proven that when beta-endorphins are released, the tryptothalamus stops functioning. The more beta-endorphins you have in your body, the better. Your high sexual activity has kept you from having any headaches."

"So you're telling me that the treatment for my condition is getting laid every night?"

"Well, you have a couple of options. You can take your chances on being able to find a sexual partner every night, or you can take a pill that simulates beta-endorphins."

"Why can't I just jack off every day?"

"Because the amount of beta-endorphins released during masturbation is no longer enough to keep the tryptothalamus dormant. When you were younger, yes, but now that you're older, and since you were extremely sexually active, that’s not enough."

"Then I guess give me the pill," Brian said with a sigh. As much as he knew he could get a trick any time he wanted, it just didn't have the same appeal anymore.

"I should warn you that these pills have been known to cause spontaneous orgasms so you should only take it at home if you plan to be alone for an hour or two. I certainly would not suggest taking it before going to work." Brian nodded. "I should also tell you that sex with a loving partner produces higher amounts of endorphins than promiscuity." Once again, Brian nodded. Henderson handed him a piece of paper with the prescription on it and he took it, looking at it. Suddenly he started laughing.

"What?" the doctor asked.

"My friend Ted was right. He asked me if I had tried sex to relieve the headaches." They shared a laugh, then the doctor left. Brian smirked as he gathered his things and headed out the door.

“Turns out I actually do have a problem that sex can solve," he said softly to himself as he got into the Jeep.

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