Say What?

The mothers of the PFLAG Pittsburgh chapter listened attentively, as their own Jennifer Taylor recapped her ordeal from the previous night. It wasn't bad enough that she and her husband had been humiliated by the officers at the police station, she later found out that her son was intending to enter into a triangle marriage with two other men.

"SAY WHAT?" Debbie looked up from the poster she was making. "You mean like on that cable show, Big Love?"

"Exactly, we're talking about polygamy." Jennifer said.

"I think in this case the correct term would be polyandry." Lindsey, and Melanie's close friend, and lesbian mother, Dusty made the correction.

"You say tomato, I say tomaato, it all means the same fucking thing! Justin wants to marry both Brian, and Mr. Massey." Jennifer said.

"This is terrible. Here we are fighting to get America to recognize gay unions as spiritual, and morally upright, and now we have to contend with this? Plural marriage is frowned on by every state in this country." One of the other PFLAG mothers voiced her opinion.

"I know that." Jennifer agreed.

"Then how can you allow your son to do this?"

"He's over 21. How can I stop him?" Jennifer was open to suggestions.

"You can stop him by reminding him that it's illegal." Dusty said.

"Not to mention, it's against God's law." Debbie added.

Jennifer shook her head. "All this time I thought I was fighting for my son's right to marry the man that he loves, and now he's made a mockery out of the whole thing. Maybe Stockwell, and his religious followers are right. Maybe gay men are incapable of monogamous relationships. Maybe this is all just bullshit, like my husband says."

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"SAY WHAT?" Melanie nearly choked on her coffee when she received the latest gossip from Dusty.

"What's the matter, Mel?" Lindsey looked up from pouring Gus's cereal.

Melanie placed her hand over the telephone mouthpiece. "Brian, Justin, and Tony are getting married," she whispered.

"Married?" Gus looked up at his mother.

"Eat your breakfast, Gus." Lindsey said.

"Are you serious? Who told you?" Melanie continued her conversation with Dusty.

"Is Pop getting married?" Gus looked up from his cereal.

"Shhh!" Lindsey tried to listen in.

Melanie hung up the telephone. "Linz, you're not going to believe this. Brian has somehow talked Justin, AND Mr. Massey, into marrying him."

"SAY WHAT?" Gus's eyes lit up.

"Hurry up, and finish your cereal, Gus, before you're late for school." Lindsey once again shushed her son. "What the hell is Brian thinking? He can't do this! What are people going to think of us?"

Melanie placed her hands on her hips. "I should have known that there was a catch to it when Brian leaped into the spotlight, and became one of our most visible supporters for gay marriage. Can you imagine what people are going to say when they find out that he wants to marry two men?" she hissed.

"Leave it to Brian to turn marriage into a circuit party." Lindsey frowned………………

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"SAY WHAT?" Ben stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the university corridor. He pressed his cell phone closer to his ear. Surely he wasn't hearing right. He thought Michael just said that Brian had asked both Justin and Tony to marry him.

"I just got off the phone with ma. Jennifer told her that Justin, and Tony, and Brian are engaged." Michael said again.

"Are you kidding me? Doesn't Brian know that plural marriage is against the law in this country?" Ben said.

"Since when has the law ever stopped Brian!" Michael said.

"Even if Proposition 14 is defeated, doesn't he know how this is going to make us all look? Doesn't he know that what he's planning just perpetuates the stereotype that gay men are incapable of loving, monogamous relationships?" Ben climbed up on his soapbox.

"Yes, yes, he knows all of that!" Michael said.

"You have to stop him." Ben decided.

"Me? You know Brian, nobody can stop him once his mind is made up." Michael said.

"Brian loves you, he'll listen to you." Ben begged to differ.

"And what the hell am I supposed to say?" Michael whined.

"Tell him that what he's doing is undermining everything that we've worked for. The straight community is never going to take us seriously, and accept us into mainstream if gay men like Brian insist on making a mockery out of marriage. Tell Brian that if he goes forward with this latest crusade, he's going to ruin his best friend's chance to marry the man that he loves." Ben said.

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Gus couldn't wait to deliver the exciting news to his first grade class. His father was getting married. "Why that's wonderful news, Gus!" Mrs. Bennett clapped her hands. "Attention, attention everyone, Gus has some exciting news to share with us!"

Gus waited until the class had quieted down. "My Pop is getting married!" he said.

"Your dad can't get married. He's gay, and two men can't get married." Gus's arch enemy Tyler blurted out.

"They can too!" Gus barked.

Kindly Mrs. Bennett came to her student's defense. "Remember class that we talked about diversity?" she began. "Some people are born attracted to people of the same sex, and that's ok. It's nothing more than being born with blonde hair, or blue eyes, or being right handed, or left handed. This Tuesday your parents will be voting on a bill called Proposition 14. That bill will tell us if Gus's father will be allowed to marry the man that he loves."

"Both of them!" Gus added.

"Say what?" Mrs. Bennett's jaw dropped.

"My Pop has two boyfriends, and he's going to marry both of them!" Gus said proudly.

"Wow!" The rest of the class gasped………………………………...................................

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Following a long morning session with the city council, Pittsburgh mayor James T. Stockwell was preparing to head out for a late lunch. He had just finished clearing his desk, and was putting on his suit jacket, when his assistant, Harold, rushed inside his office. "You have to hear this, sir." Harold panted.

"Whatever it is, it can wait until after lunch. I'm starving." Stockwell said.

"We just got a call from Principal Bailey, over at the Washington school." Harold continued to catch his breath.

Stockwell proceeded to walk toward his office door. "I told you it can wait until after lunch," he said again.

"Beatrice Bennett is Gus Kinney's teacher. According to Mrs. Bennett, this morning Gus announced to the class that his father, Brian Kinney, intends to marry TWO men, once Proposition 14 is passed."

"Say what?" Stockwell stopped short at the door. "Go, on." he said.

"Mrs. Bennett has been teaching her first grade class how the political machine works. They've been following the referendums that are on this Tuesday's agenda, including Proposition 14. This morning Gus Kinney told his teacher, and his class that his father intends on marrying BOTH of his boyfriends. Apparently that was the main topic of conversation in the teachers' lounge at lunchtime, word got around to Principal Bailey, and he telephoned my office." Harold explained.

Stockwell walked back over to his desk, and removed his jacket. "Are you sure about this?" He eased down into his executive chair.

"I spoke to Principal Bailey myself." Harold grinned.

Mayor Stockwell leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. "Harold, I want you to get that principal back on the line for me," he said. "Get my PR people in here. Tell them that I want to call a press conference for this afternoon."

"Yes sir." Harold immediately headed for the door.

"That brat of Kinney's has just passed our Proposition 14 bill for us." Stockwell chuckled.

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Tony, Brian, and Justin spent the night, and the next day, locked away inside Justin's apartment. Oblivious to the world outside, they celebrated their present and upcoming life together.

"Where shall we go for our honeymoon, Bali, Hawaii, the Caribbean?" Tony asked.

"I was thinking Scandinavia, maybe Denmark, or Sweden." Brian said.

"What about Las Vegas?" Justin suggested.

Tony and Brian both looked at little blond lying between them. "Vegas?"

"What's wrong with Vegas? I've always wanted to go there, but I was always too young." Justin said.

Tony reached over, and pulled Justin in for a kiss. "Then Las Vegas it is." he decided.

Brian took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "Do you think we can really make this work?" he wondered out loud.

Justin rolled out of Tony's arms, and over into Brian's. "Don't go getting cold feet on me now," he said.

"You know what they say, cold feet, hot cock." Tony made light of Brian's apprehension.

"60% of marriages fail, and the other 40% end up like my parents." Brian said.

"At least you had parents?" Tony reminded him.

"Marriages break down when couples stop communicating." Justin said.

"I hate communicating." Brian growled.

"Brian's talking about hetero couples, princess." Tony pointed out. "You can't compare us to them. They have different issues than us."

"Like what?" Justin asked.

"Well, there's kids…"

"I hate kids." Brian said.

"Then there's the cheating…" Tony continued.

"Oh, and gay men don't cheat?" Justin begged to differ.

"Most don't." Tony said. "It's not cheating if you don't have a commitment. Since most gay men don't commit, it stands to reason that they're not cheating."

Justin sat up in the middle of the bed. "What about us? Do you think we're going to cheat once we're married?" he said.

"Let's see you get yourself out of this one, daddy." Brian rolled out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Tony looked at him.

"I'm moving out of the line of fire." Brian sauntered over to the dresser for a cigarette.

"You didn't answer me. Do you think we're going to cheat once we're married?" Justin pressed the issue.

"I don't know, princess" Tony said.

"Oh shit." Brian lit his cigarette. He knew what was coming next.

"What do you mean you don't know? How can you go into a marriage already planning to cheat?" Justin snapped.

Tony sat up in the bed next to Justin. "I never said I was planning on cheating."

"But that's what you've implied!"

"You tell him baby!" Brian aggravated the escalating situation.

"Marriage is all about commitment." Justin ranted on. "How can we expect anyone to take us seriously if we continue to perpetuate the myth that all gay men are good for is fucking everything that's not nailed down?"

"Or in his case, fucking everything in every continent that's not nailed down." Brian added with a smile.

Tony leered at the pestering instigator.

Meanwhile, Justin was growing more and more upset by the moment. "I don't want some sham of a relationship, with strangers popping in and out of our bed," he fretted. "I want a real marriage…"

"And that's what we're going to have, princess." Tony reached for Justin, and pulled him over into his arms. "Now who's getting cold feet?" he smiled. "Justin, I give you my word that I'm going to be the very best man that I can for you, princess. I'm betting everything on us, baby, and you know how I hate to lose."

Tony lifted Justin's face toward him, and grazed a chaste kiss across the young man's lips. He then traced the tip of his tongue along Justin's mouth, beguiling his young lover to invite him inside. Brian watched as Justin melted right before his very eyes. That goddamn Anthony Massey, smooth talking bastard. Brian smiled to himself, and clicked on the television.

"My fellow citizens, our fair city is under attack, attack by a tyranny of moral decay that is chipping away at our religious liberties. America is engaged in a culture war, fighting for the souls of its people, and we are losing." Stockwell was just beginning his news conference. "If America insists on embracing what is clearly forbidden by the laws of every religion in the civilized world, then we can expect no less than the same wrath that God rained down on Sodom and Gomorrah!"

Tony stopped, and turned toward the television set. "Did he just say Sodom and Gomorrah?"

"Shhh!" Brian said.

"Today I received a telephone call from Principal Ned Bailey, over at the Washington Elementary School," Stockwell continued.

"Isn't that Gus's school?" Justin whispered.

"Shhhh!" Tony said.

"This dedicated educator was concerned because one of his students, a first grader came to school, bragging that his father, a homosexual man, was not going to marry one, but TWO MEN!"

"SAY WHAT?" Brian nearly choked on his cigarette.

"This innocent child, who happens to be the product of sexual liberties gone awry, is why I have called this press conference today. There is a natural order to things. That's the way God planned it. One man, one woman, one husband, one wife. We cannot allow the sanctity of marriage to be defiled, and made a mockery of…."

"That son-of-a-bitch is fucking with my kid?" Brian was now seeing red.

"Hold it, precious!" Tony continued to listen.

"Tuesday, when you go to the polls, I want you to think about this innocent child. I want you to think about the perversion that he will witness in the home of three gay men. Plural marriages are a crime in this country. Plural homosexual marriages would be an abomination. America needs a revival, and its going to begin right here in Pittsburgh. Vote YES to Proposition 14, and ban same sex marriages forever!"

NEXT WEEK: Fantasy Season 9 concludes with: Proposition 14

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