Father Issues - Part II

Brian pressed his cell phone closer to his ear. "Gone? What do you mean, he's gone?"

"Who's gone?" Michael butted in.

"Tony's gone. Justin, I thought we agreed to leave him alone." Brian reminded him.

"I never agreed to that." Justin said.

"Where did he go?" Michael cut in again.

"I don't know, Michael!" Brian snapped. "Justin, where are you now? I can barely hear you."

"I'm standing in front of The Plaza. I was headed up to Tony's suite when the front desk stopped me. They said he wasn't there. I told you we should have gone home with him!" Justin whined over the honking horns of the morning traffic.

"Did they say where he was going?" Brian asked.

"Maybe he just went out for breakfast." Michael suggested.

"Michael, please!" Brian silenced his friend again. "Did you try his cell phone?"

"He's not answering his cell." Justin said.

"Maybe he flew back to Chicago." Michael continued.

"Did you call Mary?" Brian asked.

"She hasn't heard from him either. Where the hell could he be? We have to find him Brian." Justin anguished.

Brian moved his cell phone from his ear, and massaged his forehead. Think Brian, think. Where would a man like Tony go if he wanted to run away? He could be anywhere. Brian placed his phone back to his ear. "Justin, meet me back at the loft." he said.

"Trouble in paradise already?" Michael grinned.

"I'll see you later Mikey." Brian said as he hurried out of the door.

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Tony once again ignored the cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He couldn't talk to anyone right now. He was hiding, burying himself in a desk full of paperwork very much like how he buried himself in the household chores of the various foster homes he was assigned to as a child. Maybe if he kept busy his foster father, and his other foster brothers wouldn't notice that there was something different about the new boy. Maybe if he kept moving he wouldn't become their target. Damn Justin for being so naïve. Surely he must have known that Tony's estrangement from his birth father was no misfortune. If he had wanted to find the man who's ten minutes of pleasure plummeted him into a lifetime of hell, he would have found him a long time ago. Tony didn't know his father because he didn't want to know him.

Why reopen old wounds that had long since closed? Tony had purposely all but forgotten his childhood when the strange name on the business card Justin gave him caused every painful memory to come crashing back. Justin's loving attempt to reunite him with his father had caught the stoic lion off guard, striking Tony with a heart stopping blow that sent him running for emotional cover. Tony couldn't make it back to Penthouse Four at The Plaza fast enough. Upon his arrival he immediately rushed to the bathroom, and proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach in the white porcelain throne. Of course he tried to blame the sudden nausea he felt on the drinks he had consumed earlier that night, but deep down Tony knew there was much, much more tearing away at his guts.

Tony shuffled through the various contracts, and proposals on his desk until his eyes could no longer take the strain. He closed them for a moment, and rested his head on the high back of his executive leather chair. Thaddeus C. Daniels, the name haunted him once again.

There was really no need for Brian to take away the business card. The name Thaddeus C. Daniels, has become instantly engraved in Tony's mind from the moment Justin revealed who the mystery man was. Maybe Daphne's geek friend was wrong. Maybe Thaddeus C. Daniels was just a con man looking to score a hit with a long lost, rich son. Tony would insist on a DNA test to be certain that he had found the right asshole. Shit! Why wouldn't that damned cell phone stop ringing? Tony pulled the vibrating nuisance from his pocket, and flung it across the room.

The expensive walls of Penthouse Four were beginning to close in on him. Tony couldn't breathe. He needed to get some air. Unshaven, and still dressed in his party clothes from the night before, the troubled millionaire took the service elevator down to the private garage underneath The Plaza. There Tony revved up the Lincoln Brian had given him for his birthday, and drove off in search of a tranquil place with fresh air, and greenery, to deal with the panic attack that was rapidly bearing down on him. Tony found such a place at a naturalist arboretum on the outskirts of town where he was a board member, and often retreated to when he needed a place to unwind. Tony strolled down the quiet path, away from the family picnic area, and took a seat in a gazebo near a patch of fragrant flowers.

"Hey Tony!" A familiar voice startled him.

"Gus?"

Gus placed his index finger to his lip. "Shhhh." He stood up from his crouched position, and peeked out over the latticed fence of the wooden structure.

Tony obliged, and lowered his voice. "What are you doing here, Tiger? Who's with you?" he asked.

"I'm here with Megan." Gus said.

"Who's Megan?" Tony asked.

"Megan is Dusty's little girl. Today is her birthday. Do you see her?" Gus asked.

Tony surveyed the area for signs of a child's birthday party. "I don't see anyone." he said.

"Good." Gus took a seat on the bench next to Tony.

"You really shouldn't be back here all by yourself, Tiger." Tony said.

"I'm hiding. Cootie Megan wants a birthday kiss." Gus frowned. "What are you doing here, Tony?"

"I'm hiding too." Tony said.

"Is someone trying to kiss you?" Gus asked.

"No." Tony smiled.

"Are you hiding from my pop?" Gus tried again.

"No, I'm hiding from MY pop." Tony said.

Gus looked momentarily puzzled. "You've got a father, Tony?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do." Tony assured him.

"Does he have white hair like you?" Gus looked up at the waves of silver on Tony's head.

"I don't know. I've never seen my father." Tony said.

Tony's answer warranted another puzzled look on Gus's face. "Then who taught you how to spit, and how to fight, and how to go to the boys' bathroom?" Gus wanted to know.

"I had to teach myself all of those things." Tony said.

"That's not right. My mom says that there are some things that only a man can teach his son. My pop taught me, and your dad should have taught you. You should find your father, and tell him that he didn't do a good job." Gus suggested.

"GUS!" A sturdy woman in overall jeans sneered at the unkempt stranger sitting in the gazebo next to Gus. "Come away from there this minute!" she beckoned for him.

"That's Dusty. I'd better go." Gus said sadly. "Goodbye, Tony."

"Goodbye, Tiger." Tony said.

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Justin had already mapped out their search plan by the time Brian returned to the loft. He would look in all of Tony's usual hangouts, his favorite restaurants, the country club, the art galleries Tony supported, while Brian would search the seedier side of town, including the various backrooms along Liberty Avenue. Brian retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator, and plopped down onto the sofa.

"What are you doing? You can't sit down now. We have to go find Tony." Justin said.

"I'm not going anywhere. I told you to leave him alone." Brian took a long swallow.

Justin couldn't believe Brian's apparent lack of concern. "How can you just sit there when Tony's in trouble?" he asked.

"Tony's not in trouble. He just needs some time to think." Brian said.

"What's there to think about? Tony needs his father, and I found him for him." Justin said.

"Tony's forty-seven years old. What's his father going to do for him now, teach him how to play catch?" Brian took another swallow of his water.

"You're a heartless bastard, Brian. Just because you had a fucked up relationship with your father doesn't mean that Tony shouldn't even try to have one with his." Justin said.

"Since when did you become the recruiter for Norman Rockwell? I don't recall any fuzzy moments between you and Craig." Brian pointed out.

"We may not be Norman Rockwell now, but we used to be before I met you!" Justin said.

"You mean before old Craig found out that his baby boy loved to take it up the ass." Brian corrected him.

"My father still loves me!" Justin insisted. "He just needs time to sort things out…"

"He's been sorting things out for over six years now." Brian reminded him. "When are you going to realize that Craig has already given up on you? You're dead to him, Justin, just like Tony is dead to his father, just like I was dead to my father. We're fags, Justin, and no man wants a sissy for a son. The sooner you get that inside your naive little blonde head, the better off you'll be."

"Fuck you, Brian." Justin turned, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Brian called to him.

"Away from you." Justin searched his pockets as he walked. "Where's my fucking keys?"

Brian stood up from the sofa, and followed him. "Justin, I'm sorry, baby. I just don't want to see you hurt anymore. Finding Tony's father for him isn't going to bring Craig back into your life. That's your fantasy, Justin. It's not fair that you've dragged Tony into YOUR father issues."

A tearful Justin pushed the sliding door open. He was about to make his exit when he ran into a unkempt, unshaven brick wall. Tony lifted Justin's face, and swiped away the tears that had trailed down his cheek. He then looked over at Brian who wasn't in much better shape himself. Tony beckoned for Brian, who immediately came over. The older man hugged both of his boys, and gave each one a kiss. "We're going to find this Thaddeus C. Daniels, and if he turns out to be my father, I'm going to tell him what a fucked up piece of shit he is. I'm going to tell him for all of us." Tony promised.

NEXT WEEK: to be announced

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