A Matter of Trust

Chapter 4

Brian could hear the faint sound of someone talking and forced himself to open his eyes. He didn’t remember feeling so tired before. As he stretched, he couldn’t help the groan that escaped his lips at the stiffness in his body, which alerted Justin to his consciousness.

“Hey Daphne, I got to go. Just keep working on what we discussed and I’ll call you later,” Justin said before ending the call and entered the bedroom. “So you are alive. I was beginning to wonder.”

“Hey, I guess I didn’t hear you get up,” Brian replied sheepishly. He noticed that Justin was already dressed in different clothes and wondered how long he’d been up. “You should have woken me. I promised you breakfast, remember? Just give me about twenty minutes and I’ll be ready.”

“Brian, no offense but I already had breakfast…and lunch. A man could starve waiting for you to wake up,” he teased.

“What time is it?” Brian asked in confusion.

“It’s after four.”

“What?” Brian barked as he jumped out of bed, almost losing his footing from the sudden movement. Luckily Justin grabbed a hold of him and steadied him.

“Take it easy, big guy. After sleeping almost fourteen hours, you’re bound to be a little unsteady,” Justin said as he helped Brian sit back down on the bed.

“Shit Justin, I’m sorry. I’ve never slept that long in my life. I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I knew I was going to be such a lousy host.”

“It’s alright. I knew how tired you were. I could’ve left. In fact, I did leave. I went home, showered and changed, and took care of a couple of errands. I still had the key you left for me yesterday so I came back. I hope you don’t mind, but we had such a good time last night and I didn’t feel right about sneaking away while you were sleeping.” Justin blushed slightly as he thought about the previous evening.

“I wouldn’t have considered it sneaking since I was dead to the world, but I don’t mind. I’m just sorry that I missed the whole day,” Brian sighed, a little disappointed by the turn of events.

“Stop apologizing. You didn’t miss the whole day. It’s only four. We still have the rest of the afternoon and evening,” Justin assured him before realizing what he was suggesting. “Unless you have plans already, or something.”

“No, my only plans for the day were with you, so I’m all yours,” Brian said with a touch of lust in his eyes.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Justin smiled, his mind racing with possibilities.

 

*****
 

The rest of the weekend seemed to fly by and before Justin knew it, it was time to say goodbye and go back to the real world. They were lying naked in each others arms, after what had to be their tenth round of the weekend when he suddenly became unusually quiet. Brian picked up on the mood change immediately.

“Alright, what’s wrong?”

“Huh? Nothing’s wrong. I was just thinking,” Justin replied softly.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you that thinking is bad?” Brian teased. When he didn’t get the laugh he was expecting, he turned more serious. “What are you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Justin,” Brian prodded.

“Promise you won’t throw me out and vow never to see me again?” Justin asked, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice.

“I promise. Now spill it,” Brian demanded gently.

“I was just thinking about how perfect this weekend was. I don’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed myself so much; especially when it comes to another man. I just hate to think about the real world interfering with it all,” Justin explained honestly. He figured if Brian over reacted and threw him out, it was better to do it now than for him to get more attached than he already was.

Brian was quiet for a moment while he thought about Justin’s admission. He couldn’t remember ever having as much fun as he had in the last couple of days either. Even though they didn’t really do much, just being with the blond was pure enjoyment. They had laughed and talked and gotten to know each other outside the bedroom as well as inside. Something that Brian hadn’t done with anyone in years. It would’ve been the perfect weekend if it wasn’t for the huge lie that was hanging over his head. He needed to find a way to come clean with Justin and tell him about his background before it was too late.

“Listen Justin, there’s something…” Brian’s words were interrupted by the sound of Justin’s cell phone ringing.

“Sorry about that, but I have to answer it,” Justin said softly.

“That’s okay. I’ve got to piss anyway,” Brian replied as they both climbed out of bed. By the time he made it back to the bedroom, Justin was already throwing his clothes on.

“I’m sorry Brian, but I have to go. My mother was in a car accident. She’s alright, but I have to go pick her up at the hospital. Apparently the car was totaled,” Justin explained as he finished dressing and gathered his things.

“Shit, do you want me to go with you?” Brian offered as he reached for his jeans.

Justin would’ve liked nothing better than to have Brian go with him, but it wasn’t an option. The car his mother totaled was his Lexus since he had been using her Camry and he knew the truth would come out the minute he got to the hospital. “No, that’s alright. I don’t know how long it’s going to take and it’s already getting late. You have to work tomorrow, remember?”

Brian wanted to object, but knew better than to push. “Alright, but call me when you get home and let me know how everything is, okay?”

“Okay, and thanks for a great weekend. I’ll talk to you soon.” Justin reached up and placed a soft kiss on Brian’s mouth before leaving to go retrieve his mother and find out about his car.

Once Justin was gone, Brian laid back in bed, enjoying Justin’s unique scent that still lingered on the sheets, and thought about their weekend together. He really enjoyed just being with someone, getting to know them without trying to decipher any ulterior motives, and he wondered how long it was going to last. If Justin hadn’t received the call about his mother, Brian would have told him about his fortune and waited to find out how Justin would react. He wondered if taking the chance was the right thing to do, or if he was making a mistake in coming clean so soon. He decided that since fate intervened, he’d wait a little while longer before showing his hand. Maybe by then he’d have a better grip on his feelings towards the blond and feel more comfortable in revealing his true self. He just hoped that when the time came, Justin would understand his need for secrecy and not run the other way.

By the time Justin had his mother in the car and was on his way back to the house, it was almost midnight. He wasn’t told the extent of his mother’s injuries on the phone and had to wait until a battery of tests were run to rule out possible internal injuries from the seat belt that had cut into her abdomen. Once the doctor was convinced that she was okay, Justin helped Jennifer to the car, fighting the exhaustion that was sweeping over him.

“Justin, I’m so sorry about your car. I really didn’t see him until it was too late,” Jennifer explained quietly, the medication she was given for pain making her a little loopy.

“Mom, relax. It wasn’t your fault. The guy ran a stop sign and plowed into you. I’m just glad you’re alright. Don’t worry about the car. I never really liked it anyway,” Justin assured her with a hint of humor. He was trying to make light of the situation, but he’d been a wreck waiting to find out if his mother was okay. “Besides, it’s not like we don’t have other cars to choose from. You can just drive the jag for now.”

“Justin, I still don’t understand why you keep insisting on taking my car. What are you not telling me?”

Justin sighed, figuring it was time to come clean. “Alright, I’ll tell you but first I want you to promise me that you won’t butt in where you don’t belong. I’m a grown man and I can make my own decisions.”

“Uh oh, I don’t think I like the sound of this. Alright, I promise I won’t butt in, but I want the right to give you my opinion,” Jennifer replied.

“Fair enough. I met a guy over a month ago and we’ve really seemed to hit it off. I really like him,” Justin admitted shyly.

“Justin, that’s wonderful, but what does that have to do with my car?” Jennifer asked in confusion.

“Well, he kind of thinks I’m a starving artist. I can’t very well show up at his house driving a fifty thousand dollar car, can I?”

“Oh Justin, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything. Mom, you don’t understand what it’s like for me. Every time I meet a guy, all they ever want to talk about is what it’s like to have so much money. They’re never interested in me for who I am, just what I have. When I first met Brian…it was like this instant attraction that I’ve never felt before. I was afraid to tell him the truth for fear of him turning into every other guy. I just wanted to be normal for a change. If things go well with us, I’ll tell him the truth and then I’ll just have to hope he understands, but for now it’s nice to have someone who likes me for me. Does that make any sense?”

“Honey, it makes perfect sense, but you can’t honestly believe that you have a chance of a future with this man when your relationship is built on a lie. Relationships are hard enough under the best circumstances, but lies only manage to destroy them. Look what happened to your father and me,” Jennifer pointed out.

“That’s different, Mom. Dad was sleeping with his secretary,” Justin replied bitterly before noticing his mother wince at the reminder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, but it’s true. I’ve been honest with Brian about everything except for what I do for a living.”

“Yeah, and about the car you drive, and I’m guessing about where you live. Don’t you see? There’s no such thing a one lie. It starts out that way, but it keeps building and building until your whole relationship is based on more lies than truth. You’re right; you’re a grown man and old enough to make your own decisions. But I love you and I just don’t want to see you get hurt in the end. Please just think about what I’ve said. If this guy is as great as you seem to think he is, be honest with him. He’ll be more willing to understand now than he will be down the line.”

Justin knew his mother was right, but he still had a bad feeling about telling Brian the truth. Right or wrong, he wanted to enjoy his building relationship for as long as possible before real life intervened and ruined everything, just like it always did. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness was right on target. “I’ll think about it, Mom.”

“That’s all I ask, Sweetheart. Now, tell me a little about this man who’s stolen my son’s heart,” she said with a smile.

“His name is Brian and God, he’s gorgeous. He’s tall, with dark hair and the most amazing hazel green eyes. He’s just…perfect,” Justin sighed as visions of Brian played in his head.

Jennifer could see the far away look in her son’s eyes and said a silent prayer that this Brian was really as great as Justin seemed to think. He’d have to be once he found out that Justin was lying about who he really was, otherwise Justin was going to be devastated when it all fell apart.

 

*****

Brian was woken up out of a dead sleep by the sound of his cell phone ringing. Glancing at the clock he was surprised to see that it was after midnight. He didn’t even remember falling asleep.

“Hello?” he mumbled into the phone.

“Hey, it’s Justin. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but that’s okay. How’s your Mom?” Brian asked as he struggled to sit up in bed.

“She’s going to be okay. I’m sorry to call so late, but we just got home. The doctors were worried about internal bleeding so they ran all kinds of tests. Everything’s okay though and aside from a few cuts and bruises, she’s just fine,” Justin explained.

“Good, I was worried after the way you ran out of here. So, what are your plans for the week? Do you have any work lined up?”

“I’ve got a few projects I’m working on at the moment,” Justin replied without detail. “What about you? Any exciting advertising campaigns coming your way? I’m sure there are plenty of useless things ready to be marketed,” he teased.

“There always are. Cynthia comes back from her honeymoon this week, too so I’ll be catching up with her. I’d never let her hear me say this, but I’ve missed having her around butting into my business.” Brian chuckled.

“I’ll never tell,” Justin laughed. “I guess I’d better let you go back to sleep. Will I hear from you this week?”

“Yeah, you’ll hear from me,” Brian assured him. “Later Justin.”

“Later.”

Once the line went dead, Brian snuggled back down under the covers and drifted back off to sleep with a smile on his face.

Justin wasn’t so lucky on the other end. He tried to sleep, but memories of the weekend, coupled with his mother’s warnings played heavily on his mind making sleep almost impossible. By three am he’d given up trying and found himself sitting in his office with a sketch pad in front of him. He began drawing the image of Brian lying naked in bed waiting for him and was so engrossed in his work that he never heard Daphne enter.

“Oh my, is that what he looks like underneath those tight fitting clothes?” she asked in wonder.

“Jeez Daph, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing sneaking up on me at this hour?” Justin asked as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart.

“Sneaking up on you? I knocked on the door twice before coming in. It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me, although I can understand why. God, he’s beautiful,” Daphne replied.

Justin blushed as he closed his sketch book and put it aside. “You have no idea. Now you didn’t answer my question. What are you doing up at this hour?” Justin asked, changing the subject.

“Well best friend, since you left me all alone this weekend I had plenty of time to catch up in my sleep. I’m not tired anymore. I came down here figuring I could get some work done. I didn’t know you’d be here until I saw the light on under the door. What are you doing up, cause I know you didn’t sleep all weekend.”

“I just couldn’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about what I should do about Brian. I know that telling him the truth is the right thing to do, but I just can’t do it yet. Once he finds out there’s a really good chance that I’ll lose him. Is it wrong to want to enjoy the time I have with him?”

“Justin, what makes you think that Brian wouldn’t understand? Maybe he’s not like all the other guys you’ve dated. If you give him a chance, he might just surprise you,” Daphne said.

“I’m just not ready to take that chance. So, since you’re up, did you have any luck finding me an apartment?” Justin asked, once again turning the subject away from Brian.

“As a matter of fact, I did. There’s this small one bedroom apartment a few blocks from Liberty Avenue. The previous tenant skipped out on the landlord without paying the rent so he’s anxious to find a replacement right away. He wanted a one year lease, but I agreed to pay him an extra thousand for a month to month. I told him you were an overworked artist who wanted something low key to hide away from your fans for awhile. He didn’t understand it, but couldn’t refuse the money. It’s completely furnished and he said that if you like it, you can move in right away. We have an appointment to see it tomorrow at noon,” Daphne told him.

“That sounds perfect. It’s also not too far from Brian’s loft which works out even better. You’re the best, Daph,” Justin smiled. “Now I think I’m just going to lie down on the couch in here for awhile and see if I can get some sleep. Do me a favor and make sure I’m up by eight. I have a few things I need to work on before we go look at the apartment, because if all goes well, I’m going to be spending the rest of the day setting up my new place.”

“You’re a freak, you know that?” Daphne said with affection.

“I know, but that’s why you love me,” Justin laughed as he snuggled up on the couch, sleep overtaking him immediately.

By 1:00 the next afternoon, Justin had a signed lease and a new apartment. Daphne was right, the place was small, but it was tastefully decorated and just what a starving artist would have when starting out. Surprisingly enough it also had the perfect lighting for an artist from the floor to ceiling windows that took up most of the one wall. Justin could imagine standing alongside of them with an easel in front of him, painting the day away. After sending Daphne on her way, he made a list of the necessities he would need and headed to the store to stock up. After spending the last few years living like a king, it was going to be a nice change of pace to have a small apartment and mediocre possessions.

When he started his career, he did it because of his love for art, not for the money he could make. He never imagined he’d end up with the fame and fortune that he currently possessed and was planning on enjoying his trip back into the real world. Before he’d left the house that morning, he managed to talk his mother into letting him use the Camry indefinitely so everything was in place. Now all he had to do was wait and see how things progressed with him and Brian.

 

*****

Brian woke up early that morning and drove out to the estate, thinking about Justin during the whole trip. As he pulled into the driveway, he wondered what the blond would think about his real home. Trying to look at it through starving artist’s eyes, Brian noticed for the first time how pretentious it actually looked. What had he been thinking when he made the purchase? Just because he had money didn’t mean he had to show it off, and that was exactly what he had done. His home wasn’t a home, it was a showplace, built to let others know just house successful the owner was. Coming from the wrong side of the tracks had made Brian want to show off his success anyway that he could, but now that he met Justin he began to think that less was definitely better. He parked his car and made his way inside and was greeted by the sound of silence. He remembered a time when he loved to be alone with no one to bother him, but now it all seemed so lonely. Just another one of the things that Justin had managed to change about him in their short time together. What was it about the blond wanna be artist that made him rethink his entire existence?

After dropping his bag in his bedroom, Brian made his way into his office and threw himself into his work. While he was out of the country, he had decided to put a hand back into advertising so that when Justin questioned him about work, he wouldn’t have to lie. Having always prided himself on honesty, the situation with Justin made him very uncomfortable, and he wanted to do everything he could to keep his lies to a minimum. He was completely lost in the files before him and never heard Cynthia until she appeared in the doorway.

“What’s this? I leave you alone for a month and you become a respectable working man?” she teased.

“Cynthia, you’re back,” Brian said as he got up and went to her, taking her in his arms. He had really missed her while she was gone. “How was your trip?”

“It was perfect, of course, but I won’t bore you with the details since you’ve been to the island at least a dozen times in the last few years,” she replied with a smile. “What are you doing in the office on such a nice day? I would have expected you to be out by the pool working on your tan.”

“I do work occasionally, you know,” Brian told her.

“Oh I know, but not often and only when you have to. Usually after I’ve forced you into it. I figured you would’ve spent the last month lounging around and throwing orgies,” she joked.

Brian didn’t find her jokes to be the least bit funny. “I do more than party Cyn. How do you think I got where I am today?” he asked with annoyance.

“Uh oh, someone’s touchy. Care to tell me what has you in such a mood?”

“I’m not touchy. I just don’t like being thought of as a playboy with no responsibilities,” he explained.

“Since when?”

Brian took a deep breath and prepared himself for the questions that were about to be thrown at him. “Since I met someone,” he finally muttered.

“Excuse me? Could you repeat that, it sounded like you said you met someone,” Cynthia replied in shock.

“That’s exactly what I said. I met someone while you were gone. Well, actually I met him before you left, but all we did was share a few dances at Babylon. I ran into him a few weeks after you left and we’ve been…um, kindofseeingeachother,” Brian said, mumbling the last few words so that Cynthia couldn’t hear him.

“What was that last part? I couldn’t understand you,” Cynthia said.

Brian sighed, but than repeated his words more carefully. “We’ve been kind of seeing each other.”

“Oh my God, you’ve got a boyfriend!” Cynthia exclaimed, throwing herself into Brian’s arms. “I’m so happy for you.”

Brian gently pried Cynthia’s arms from around his neck and took a step back. “What, are you back in junior high or something? He’s not a boyfriend. You know I don’t do boyfriends. We’ve just been spending a little time together lately. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s no big deal? Come on Brian, you haven’t spent time with the same guy in years. Of course it’s a big deal. What’s his name? What does he look like? And how come the two of you aren’t lounging around by the pool working on your tans?”

“Jeez, what’s with the twenty questions? Look, his name is Justin. He’s small, about 5’9” inches I guess, blond hair, beautiful blue eyes,” Brian explained, than suddenly realized he was starting to sound like he was in junior high, too. “Anyway, he’s probably working. He’s an artist who’s trying to make a name for himself.”

“Wow, he must really be something to have you all worked up like this,” Cynthia said, smirking at the scowl on Brian’s face. “Why don’t you help him out? With your connections, if he’s any good, I’m sure his career will take off quickly.”

“There’s nothing I can do for him. It’s not my job to find him work,” Brian replied.

“You don’t have to find him work. All you need to do is put him in touch with the right people and let his talent take it from there. With all the money you’ve contributed to the arts in the last couple of years, it wouldn’t take much to get him an interview. In fact, I could make a couple of calls…”

“No, don’t do that. Just stay out of it,” Brian demanded.

“But Brian, if you like this guy,”

“Look Cyn, there’s nothing I can do. He…doesn’t know about me,” Brian admitted reluctantly.

“What do you mean he doesn’t know about you?” she asked in confusion before it dawned on her what he was implying. “You mean he doesn’t know about your money? You didn’t tell him what you do for a living?”

“He thinks I’m an executive at Ryder,” Brian told her.

Cynthia broke out in a fit of laughter. “You told him you work at Ryder? Oh that’s rich, pardon the pun. Why would you tell him something like that?”

“I don’t know. I saw him sketching in the coffee house one day and we just got to talking. He showed me his work and he’s just so talented; I was amazed. I asked him if he did it professionally and he told me he was doing the whole starving artist thing. I couldn’t very well turn around and tell him I’m worth millions. He would’ve either run the other way or saw dollar signs in his eyes. I wasn’t prepared to live through either scenario so I told him I work at Ryder. It puts us on more even ground.”

“But what happens if you really hit it off? He’s going to have to find out eventually. Then what?” Cynthia began to see how serious the whole situation was.

“By then hopefully he’ll be so smitten with me he’ll forgive all my sins,” Brian replied sarcastically.

“Oh Brian, I hope you know what you’re doing,” she finally said.

“Me too,” he said with a sad smile.

End of part 4
03/27/05
 

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