A Matter of Trust

Chapter 1

Thanks to Judy (lovesqaf) for the plot bunny

When Cynthia finally found Brian, he was sitting out by the pool reading through his annual reports. She took a moment to watch him, wishing there was something she could do to make him see that he needed more in his life. He was turning 38 in a couple of weeks and she hated the fact that he didn’t have anyone special in his life. As much as he tried to tell her he was happy; that he didn’t need to have a partner to be happy with his life, she didn’t buy it. Maybe it was due to her own happiness after finally finding that special person to make her life complete, but she really wanted him to give up his wicked ways and find his soul mate. She believed that everyone had one. Brian just refused to even entertain the possibility.

“Cynthia, are you going to stop staring at me and tell me whatever it is that you came here to tell me?” Brian said with a smile. She hated the way he seemed to sense her presence.

“Brian!” Cynthia exclaimed, startled. “How do you do that?”

“How do I do what? Always manage to know when you’re spying on me?” he teased.

“Yes…I mean no. I wasn’t spying on you. I came to tell you that I’m leaving. I have my final fitting this afternoon and then I have to meet with the caterers. Do you need anything before I go?” she asked as she took the seat beside him.

“More wedding shit? Aren’t you married yet?” Brian asked rhetorically.

“Brian Kinney, you know perfectly well that the wedding isn’t for two more weeks,” Cynthia scoffed.

“Do I? Oh yeah, that’s right. I believe you marked the date on every calendar in the house.”

“Brian, I’ve been planning this for over a year. Couldn’t you at least be a little happy for me?” Cynthia sighed in exasperation.

“Of course I’m happy for you, Cyn. You’re living the happy hetero dream. Although I’m still a little confused as to the white dress. We’ve been friends a long time. I think the whole virginal white dress idea should have been cast aside years ago. Now black…”

Cynthia laughed as she slapped Brian playfully on the arm. “Don’t you dare knock my dress. You were the one that helped me pick it out.”

“That’s only because I was afraid you’d embarrass me while I walked you down the aisle. If you’re going to be on my arm, Vera Wang is the only way to go,” Brian chuckled as he pinched her nose.

“You are such a label queen. Now I better get going or I’m going to be late. Oh, and I’m dropping off your tux at the cleaners while I’m out. Is there anything else you need to have cleaned?”

“No, that’s it for now. And make sure you use the cleaners on Sycamore Street. They’re the only competent cleaners in this whole state,” Brian reminded her, just as he did every time she took his clothes to be cleaned.

“Yes, Your Highness,” she teased as she kissed him goodbye.

“Bitch,” he called out jokingly to her retreating figure.

Once Cynthia was gone, Brian tried to refocus on the reports in front of him, but his mind just kept drifting to Cynthia and his past. He’d grown up and a lower-middle class neighborhood with a drunken father and a way too catholic mother who refused to see that her son was being abused by her own husband. It was easier to stick her head in the bible than to stand up for the son she was supposed to love. Every night before bed, Brian would spend his time thinking about how different his life was going to be once he turned eighteen. He spent all his free time studying and getting good grades in the hopes of earning a scholarship, which he did; not only for academics, but for soccer as well. On his eighteenth birthday, he packed his things and left the hell he called home and never looked back. He never spoke to his so called parents again.

Once he was in college, he focused on being top in his class and was offered several internships within the first year. Being gay had its advantages since he didn’t have to throw money away on girlfriends like his friends did, so he saved as much money as he could and managed to have a nice nest egg by the time graduation rolled around four years later. He took a full time position at the ad agency where he interned and soon became the top executive of the company. With the high salary and the proper investments, he made his first million by his thirtieth birthday. Since that time, his net worth had more than tripled and he made a very nice life for himself, buying a huge estate set far away from others just outside of Pittsburgh and spending his time traveling around the world living off the investments he still made.

Cynthia was a big part of his success. They had met in elementary school and become fast friends. She was the only one who knew about what went on in the Kinney household and the only one he stayed in contact with through the years. After making his first million, he realized that he needed someone he could trust to help him with his finances as well as his investments. Cynthia was the perfect choice. Not only did she earn her degree in accounting, he trusted her with his life. With little encouraging, she agreed to work for him as his personal advisor and money manager. It was a match made in heaven and Brian was very thankful for the life he created and the friend he had by his side.

The only thing missing was someone to share it with. He tried the dating thing for awhile, already skeptical of the whole love and relationship issue, especially in the gay world and after a couple of failed attempts he learned a valuable lesson. You can’t trust anyone, especially when money’s involved. It still amazed him the great lengths that people were willing to go to get him to fall in “love” with them; thus opening up his heart and wallet. Oh yeah, he learned his lesson well. Now he only opened up his bedroom, as often as possible but just for one night only.

Now everything was about to change. Cynthia was getting married, and although he was happy that she found someone to share her life with, he knew he was going to have to share her with someone else and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. Since her parents were killed a few years back, she relied solely on him and it felt nice to be needed, yet in two weeks he was going to walk her down the aisle and give her away to another man. Luckily, he really liked Trent and trusted him to take care of her and with the threat of bodily injury he subtlety made on the day they got engaged his mind was somewhat at ease.

Shaking off the thoughts that were running through his head, he forced his mind back on his reports, refusing to think about what lay ahead.

*****

Justin was looking around his bedroom one last time, making sure that nothing was being left behind when he heard Daphne calling him.

“I’m in here,” he called, grabbing the last box of his personal belongings.

“Are you all set? The movers just called to confirm that everything was set for tomorrow. They’re going to be here at 8:00am. They’ll get the key from the doorman, since we’re leaving today.”

“Good, this is the last of it,” he replied, glancing around the now empty room. “God Daph, I’m really going to miss this place.”

“I know Justin; me too. I still think you should have kept this place for awhile. What if you hate it living back in Pittsburgh? At least you’d have some place to escape to if you needed it.” Daphne was the only one who knew just how much the spacious loft meant to Justin. “It’s not as if you couldn’t afford it.”

“I know, but I still think it’s easier this way. No looking back, remember? Besides, my mother and Molly need me right now and that’s all that matters. It was hard enough getting Mom to agree to live with me until she gets on her feet. I didn’t want her to feel as if she was keeping me from something. This way she’ll believe that moving home was something I really wanted, not something I’m doing for her,” Justin explained. “She gave up everything for me; it’s the least I can do.”

“Justin, it’s not your fault that your father left your mother. He’s an asshole,” Daphne said for the hundredth time since they had found out about the divorce.

“I know, but if he hadn’t found out that I was gay or if Mom wasn’t so supportive of me, keeping my secret for so long, none of this would have happened.” The guilt Justin had been feeling was still so strong.

“She loves you, Justin. Her support of you was never in question. Your father should have been supportive, too. It’s his loss and I think your mother is going to be better off without him. Now enough of this self loathing shit. Let’s get out of here. It’s a long drive home.”

“Yeah, home,” Justin sighed as he followed his friend out of his old life, ready to start over…again.

The ride to Pittsburgh was done in comfortable silence and gave Daphne time to think about all that was going to change. She glanced over at Justin and couldn’t help the pride she felt when she thought about all he was doing for his family. Life had never really been easy for Justin. His father was more like a dictator while they had been growing up, always pushing Justin to do the things that little boys were supposed to do. Justin went along with it, desperate to have his father’s love at any cost. When he finally admitted to himself that he was gay, his fear of his father’s rejection kept him in the closet up until he had gone away to school.

Unfortunately, after the first semester was over, Justin had realized that he could never be a business major. His love for art was just too strong. His father had stopped talking to him and refused to even consider paying for art school, but Justin had dropped out anyway and got a job waiting tables to support himself, using his free time to work on paintings he donated to the local GLC. By that time he had come out to his mother, but they decided not to share the news with Craig, knowing it would only make matters worse. He moved into Daphne’s small off campus apartment and life moved on. Jennifer continued to keep his secret and the broken fences between Justin and his father, although still strained, were starting to mend. Then one day something happened to change Justin’s whole world. Paul Roberts, an art critic in from New York, was strolling though an exhibit at the GLC when he spotted some of Justin’s work. He was immediately intrigued and requested a meeting with the artist. As soon as Paul met with Justin and saw the small portfolio that Justin had put together, a perfect partnership had been forged. Paul offered to pay for Justin to attend PIFA in return for the exclusive rights to Justin’s work during his education, with the understanding that once Justin had his degree he would be free from contract and able to pursue his career however he saw fit.

That had been almost nine years ago. Since then, Justin had not only graduated top in his class, but moved to the city where he continued to work closely with Paul and together they made millions off Justin’s talent. He was one of the most sought after artists on the east coast, and never sold a painting for anything under $100,000 although most of them went for so much more. Daphne stood by his side through it all, learning everything there was to know about the business so that Justin had someone he could trust to help him with his career. The only downfall to his success was Craig Taylor. Justin had still managed to keep him in the dark about his sexual orientation until the year before when the New York Times had written a lengthy article on Justin and his claim to fame. In the article it was mentioned that Justin had been romantically involved with Paul. The rumor wasn’t true, of course, but Craig had seen it and confronted him. Justin refused to hide who he was under direct questioning and Craig immediately disowned him. The strain of the situation once Craig learned that Jennifer had known all along had been one of the factors of his parents divorce and now Justin was giving up his life in New York to try to make up for his part in the destruction of the marriage. Jennifer tried to get Justin to believe that it wasn’t his fault, but he refused to be persuaded. Now they were on their way back to their hometown, ready to begin another chapter in their lives.

As they neared their exit on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Daphne couldn’t stand the silence anymore and began questioning Justin on what they were going to do first.

“Well, the first thing on the agenda is the closing of the house. I have to be at the lawyer’s office first thing tomorrow morning,” Justin said as he took the exit.

“House? I don’t think what you bought is considered a house. Most houses don’t have 14 bedrooms and an indoor swimming pool, Justin.” Daphne was still a little shocked by the estate Justin had insisted on buying.

“I guess not, but I figured that this way my mother and Molly can have their own wing of the house so it won’t feel as though she’s living with me. Besides, what’s the point of having all this money if I can’t spend it? As much as I love the loft, I never had enough room for what I wanted to do. Just think of all the fun you’ll have helping me decorate,” Justin laughed, his excitement building at the thought of taking possession of the old mansion.

“I can’t wait!” Daphne exclaimed with her own excitement. “Okay, so closing in the morning. What then? When is your mother moving in?”

“Not until the end of next week. I wanted to have enough time to get you and I settled before they moved in. She doesn’t have to be out of the house until the end of the month so there’s no rush. I figured that while we wait for the movers to get there we could work on a list of necessities and maybe do a little shopping. I want to get the kitchen stocked up and start furnishing the bedrooms. It’s going to take awhile to fill up over 12,000 square feet of living space.”

“God Justin, I still can’t believe that you bought a mansion. It all seems so unreal. I remember when we were kids and used to sit up in your room and dream about making it big. I never thought it would really happen. The most I ever really hoped for was that we would grow up, go to college, get good jobs, fall in love and live happily ever after. I think you’ve managed to surpass my expectations. Now all you have to do is find Mr. Right and fall in love,” Daphne said casually.

“Daph, don’t start that again, please. We’ve been through this all before. Falling in love is not an option for me, remember? I’m not going to waste anymore time getting to know someone when all they’re ever interested in is my bank account,” Justin sighed, tired of the same old argument. He’d been hurt too many times in the past by men claiming to love him when they only ever loved his money. He wasn’t going to set himself up again for another fall; no matter how many times Daphne suggested it.

“But Justin…”

“Forget it Daph. This is not up for discussion. Now do me a favor and check those directions again. I want to make sure I don’t take the wrong turn again,” Justin chuckled, successfully changing the subject.

*****

By Saturday evening, both Justin and Daphne were completely exhausted from all they had accomplished since the movers arrived with their belongings on Thursday. The closing went off without a hitch and they managed to get most of the boxes unpacked as well as all of the furniture arranged as best as they could. The new pieces were going to be delivered on Monday so there was still a lot of empty space but they did order enough to furnish the living room, dining room and library, as well as the swimming pool area and four of the bedrooms. Jennifer and Molly were bringing their own belongings, as Daphne and Justin did, so eight of the bedrooms were going to be finished along with Justin’s office and his studio which was off the back of the house in the room that was once considered a sunroom. Justin was happy with their accomplishment and was ready for a nice relaxing night in his new home. The minute he sat down to relax though; the phone rang, causing him to get back up again.

“Hello?”

“Justin? It’s Todd Clancy from Random House. I’m sorry to call you over the weekend, but I wanted to let you know that the powers that be loved your ideas and have given me the go ahead to proceed with your series,” Todd informed him.

“Really? That’s great,” Justin replied, trying to hold back some of his excitement. “So, tell me what I need to do first.”

“Well, since I have the first draft, I’m going to be sending it to our editors and let them have a look at it. Someone should be contacting you in the next couple of weeks. Now, are you sure you want to do the illustrations yourself?”

“Todd, I’m an artist. Of course I want to do my own illustrations. I’ve already done some preliminary sketches which I’ll send out to you on Monday. Oh and before I forget, let me give you my new address and phone number. I’ve had my calls forwarded for the time being, but I’m living in Pittsburgh now. I just moved in two days ago.”

“Pittsburgh? Why would a New York based artist moved to Pittsburgh?” Todd question.

“I have some family issues that are easier handled from here. Besides, in my profession I can work from anywhere so it’s no big deal. It’s actually nice to be back in my home town. I love New York, but it was never really home to me, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m from Denver and there are days when I just want to quit my job and move back home. I’ll never do it, but it’s a nice thought. Anyway, give me that information and then I’ll let you get back to getting settled.”

Justin gave Todd his address and phone number and said good bye before letting out a victory cheer.

“Justin? What’s wrong?” Daphne called as she came running into the room.

“Nothing is wrong; everything is great!” Justin exclaimed as he picked Daphne up and spun her around. “Go get dressed. We’re going out.”

“What? Why?”

“To celebrate! That was Todd on the phone. Random House accepted my ideas. The series is going to be published.”

“Oh Justin, that’s wonderful! You’re right, we need to celebrate! Give me a half hour and we’ll go grab dinner and hit the town! I’m so proud of you!” Daphne hugged him tight before racing up the stairs to get ready.

“I’m pretty proud of myself,” Justin said to the empty room as he slowly followed Daphne’s path to get ready himself.

*****

Brian entered Babylon around 10:00 on Saturday night. He was a little early for the night crowd, but he needed to get out. The only problem with owning a house the size of his was that on lonely nights, all that space made him feel that much more alone. He ordered a double beam and scanned the crowd, looking for someone to fill the empty hours ahead of him. Since he lived just outside the city of Pittsburgh but always enjoyed Babylon and was known and well established as the Stud of Liberty Avenue there, he kept a small loft in the city for the nights when he had too much to drink or wanted more than a quick fuck in the back room. There was no way he wanted any of his tricks to know how much he was worth. It was just easier to let them think he made a decent living in advertising and lived like the average person.

After surveying the room, he spotted a potential trick and made his way to the dance floor, successfully catching the eye of his prey. As they were dancing and groping each other, getting ready to turn things up a notch, Brian’s attention was drawn towards the door. He was stunned by the sight of the incredible blond who had just walked in. His interest in his dance partner forgotten, he mumbled a quick good bye as he made his way back to the bar to get a better view. Alongside him was a beautiful dark skinned woman, but Brian barely noticed her; his eyes trained strictly on her companion. He ordered another drink and waited to see what the pair did next.

Justin and Daphne walked into Babylon, enjoying the memories that washed over them both. When Justin had first come out they frequented the club together often. Justin always enjoyed dancing and Daphne always accompanied him in full protection mode. He thought it was sweet the way she was always looking out for him; just as he did her. Had he not been gay, there was no doubt that they would have been married with children by now.

As Justin looked around the room, Daphne led them over to the bar and ordered their drinks. It wasn’t until Justin had downed his first shot and ordered another one when he felt a pair of eyes staring at him from across the bar. He looked up and almost forgot to take his next breath when he saw the gorgeous man watching him.

“Oh my God Daph! Look at the guy across the bar,” he said, mesmerized by the vision before him.

“Holy shit Justin! I don’t think I’ve ever used this term for a man before, but he is beautiful…and he’s looking right at you,” Daphne replied. “You need to go talk to him.”

“I…don’t know…if I can,” Justin stammered, downing his second shot.

“Justin Taylor! When have you ever been afraid to go talk to a guy before?” she asked in shock.

“Just now…when the guy looks like that,” Justin admitted.

“He’s still looking at you. You have to go talk to him. Go ahead. I’ll wait here,” she said, nudging him away from the bar.

Justin took a deep breath and began making his way towards the other man, unsure of what he was going to say.

Brian could tell that the blond and his friend were talking about him and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. It was ridiculous, but for some reason the guy was affecting him like no one else ever had. When it was obvious that they guy was on his way over to Brian, he straightened up and turned around, looking into the bluest eyes he’d ever seen.

“Hey,” Justin said, feeling his groin tighten as he got a closer look at the gorgeous man.

“Hey,” Brian replied as casual as he could. “You wanna dance?”

All Justin could manage to do was nod and follow the dark haired man to the dance floor, excitement coursing through him.

Once they were on the dance floor it was as if everyone else in the club disappeared, leaving the two of them to get lost in each other. Aside from a few trips to the bar, they dance together for the next couple of hours, rejecting any advances that came their way; they only had eyes for each other.

Justin was so lost in the euphoria of being in the other man’s arms, that he almost forgot his own rule about tricking and invited the man back to his house. Luckily, he remembered before it was too late and pulled away, feeling almost dizzy at the loss of contact.

“I…I’ve got to go,” he stammered, suddenly needing to get away.

Brian was startled by the change in the blond, but as much as he wanted to encourage the man to stick around, his mind was screaming to let him go. The strange power that he seemed to have over Brian was scary and he knew deep down inside that he needed to say good bye before he broke all of his rules and tried to bring him home. He pulled the man in and kissed him deeply before pulling away and taking one last looking into his penetrating eyes.

“Thanks for the dance,” he replied huskily before turning and walking away.

Justin watched him go, unable to look away until Daphne appeared by his side, bringing him out of the trance he was in.

“Where’s he going? What happened?” Daphne asked in confusion as she watched the other man’s exit.

“Let’s go,” Justin demanded gently as he grabbed Daphne by the arm and led her outside.

The ride home was made in silence. Justin’s mind was still back on the kiss he’d received while Daphne was trying to figure out what had happened between the two men. She waited until they were in the house before she questioned Justin again.

“Justin, what happened back there? You and that guy seemed to be really hitting it off and all of the sudden he’s gone? Who is he? What’s his name? Are you going to see him again?”

“I don’t know who he is, he never told me his name, and no…I’m not gonna see him again. Does that answer all of your questions? Cause I’m really tired and just want to go to bed,” Justin snapped, angry at the situation and at Daphne’s inquisition.

“Why didn’t you get his name? He was hot. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. We’ll just have to go back again and hope that we run into him,” Daphne said, confused by Justin’s reaction.

“We’re not going back. I don’t want to run into him again. Just let it go Daph, please? Now I’m going up to bed.” With that, Justin went upstairs to be alone with his thoughts, leaving Daphne to close up the house and wonder what was bothering him.

Once he was alone in his room Justin sighed in relief, thankful that he was finally alone. He was confused by his reaction to the man in the club. Even back in his days of searching for Mr. Right, he’d never felt anything as powerful as he felt earlier and it scared the hell out of him. He had been ready to ask the man to come home with him, something he hadn’t done in years. Ever since his last failed attempt at a relationship, he chose to do his tricking in the back rooms or in a hotel room, refusing to let anyone get a glimpse into his personal life. If he happened to run into a trick that recognized him as Justin Taylor the Artist, he immediately lost interest and made a quick get away. He’d been burned too many times by men looking for someone to take care of them. He couldn’t believe that he’d almost blown it at Babylon. Thank God he came to his senses before he did something stupid. Now all he had to do was find a way to push his mystery man out of his mind, although he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be that easy.

*****

Brian took the hour drive back to the estate, using the time to try to forget all about the blue eyes that were haunting his mind. He was still surprised by the way the guy retreated so suddenly, pulling away and announcing that he had to leave; but what surprised him even more was the extreme disappointment he felt when he realized that he wasn’t going to get the man in bed. Their attraction to each other was so strong, Brian was sure it could be felt by everyone in the room, so it was definitely better that things ended the way they did. The last thing he needed was to allow himself to get involved with anyone and somehow he knew that one taste of the blond would never be enough.

As he entered the house, he could hear the sounds of the TV coming from the living room along with hushed voices. Apparently Cynthia and Trent decided to come back and snuggle in front of the fireplace; a usual occurrence on Saturday nights. Normally Brian would join them for awhile, but all he wanted at that moment was to be alone and think about what had happened; think about how close he had come to breaking all his rules. He had almost managed to reach the stairs when he heard Cynthia appear behind him.

“Brian? You’re home early for a Saturday night. Trent and I are just getting ready to pop in a movie. Why don’t you come and join us?”

“No thanks Cynthia. I’m just going to head up to bed?” Brian replied, starting up the stairs.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just really beat,” Brian lied. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He quickly climbed the rest of the stairs, not giving Cynthia time to comment further. Once he reached his room, he took a shower and climbed into bed, knowing sleep would be a long time coming.

His thoughts immediately went back to Babylon and his dance partner. The look in his eyes and the feel of his hard, well toned body causing a reaction that left Brian in utter confusion. No one had ever affected him that way before and despite all his efforts to push away the memories of their dancing, nothing seemed to work. Hours later, when sleep finally overtook him, it was the blond who was the last thing on his mind. 

End of part 1

10/14/04

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