12 Steps to Happiness

Part 3

 

Justin awoke a few hours later shaking from a dream, but he couldn’t seem to remember what he was dreaming about. All he knew was that Brian had been a part of the dream, but of course, he always was. The confrontation he and Brian had earlier was running through Justin’s thoughts, haunting him, so he went to the kitchen and poured himself a drink. He needed it to calm his nerves after the morning he had. Glancing at the clock, Justin realized that he had to be at work in a few hours so he went to take a shower, taking his bottle with him.

By the time he reached the restaurant, Justin had managed to put his problems out of his mind, thanks to his friend, Jim Beam. He got himself all set up and took his first order before his boss approached him.

“Justin, could I speak with you for a moment?” His boss had asked in a serious tone.

“Sure, Mr. Cross. Just let me take the order for table nine and I’ll meet you in the back.” Justin replied, unsure of what his boss would want to talk to him about. The restaurant was really busy and he needed to do his job.

“Don’t worry about that. I got Manny to cover it for you. Come with me.” Mr. Cross ordered before turning and walking to his office in the back.

Justin didn’t like the feeling he was getting from everyone he walked past on the way to the back. He knew something was up, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. He entered the office and closed the door behind him, taking a seat across from the large desk.

“Is there a problem?” Justin asked warily.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. Look Justin, I’m not sure what’s bothering you, but I’ve noticed some changes in you lately that have me concerned. You seem forgetful a lot, you have been mixing up orders, and I’ve noticed that you have been smelling of alcohol when you come into work. I like you a lot and your performance when you first started here was great, which is why I have looked the other way for as long as I have. I can’t keep looking away anymore. As much as I hate to do this, I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go. I have a business to run and I need my waiters to be able to do their jobs. I am sorry if this causes you any problems. If you get things straightened out give me a call and if I have any openings I will be more then happy to bring you back. I just can’t have you employed here under these circumstances.” Mr. Cross looked guilty as he stared at the man before him, waiting, for a reply. He really felt bad letting Justin go. He had always been one of his best waiters, but he knew that lately he had been coming into work drunk and he couldn’t ignore the problem anymore.

“Mr. Cross. Please don’t do this. I have been going through a lot since I moved here but I promise to get it together. I won’t mix up the orders anymore. I need this job. I have to be able to pay my rent!” Justin exclaimed, horrified by what the older man was saying. How was he going to help with the bills without a job? This is all Brian’s fault! He should have stayed in Pittsburgh where he belonged. He’s been here one day and I lost my job, Justin thought to himself.

“I’m really sorry, Justin. I wish there was something I could do. Maybe you need to figure out what’s bothering you and try to straighten it out. I went ahead and got your last paycheck together for you. I don’t know what else to say. I hope you can work things out for your sake as well as that cute little roommate of yours. We are going to miss you around here Justin. Good luck.” Mr. Cross offered as he stood to walk Justin out. It was a shame that things had to come to this. He really liked the boy, but he knew he had no choice.

“Fuck off!” Justin exclaimed as he yanked open the door and stormed out. He needed to get out of there. He needed a drink.

“Hey Jus.” Manny tried to say but Justin just stormed right past him. He knew that there was a problem when Mr. Cross call him to cover Justin’s shift. He felt bad once he saw Justin come in to work. He realized that Justin didn’t know what was going on, but Manny also knew that Justin hadn’t been himself lately and saw the problems the kid was having trying to wait tables. He made a mental note to get his address from the employee contact sheet before it was updated. Being a recovering alcoholic he recognize the signs and knew that the boy was in trouble. He wanted to offer his help just in case Justin needed it. He went to place his order and pushed thoughts of Justin out of his mind for the moment.

Justin was still pissed off when he reached the apartment. He needed to figure out what he was going to do next. He walked into the kitchen and searched for his bottle before realizing he’d finished it that morning after Brian had left. The empty bottle was still in the sink. Without thinking he picked it up and hurled it at the wall watching it shatter into pieces. As he stood there staring at the shards of glass the phone rang. He grabbed it, barking at whoever was on the other end.

“WHAT!” He yelled angrily into the phone.

“Now is that any way to answer the phone, Sunshine?” Brian teased, hoping to calm the blond on the other end.

“What do you want, Brian? Didn’t you get the message this morning? I told you to go back to Pittsburgh and forget all about me. I don’t have time for your shit anymore!” Justin exclaimed. He needed to get Brian off the phone and on his way back to the Pitts. He didn’t have the energy to deal with everything right now. All he wanted to do was get to Larry’s Bar and get a drink. He needed it after the day he had.

“Justin, I really think we need to talk about things. Why don’t I pick you up and we can.” Brian tried to suggest before being rudely interrupted.

“You think we need to talk? Isn’t that a laugh? I tried to get you to talk to me for over two years and you wanted no part of it! Well I am through talking Brian! Like I said before, just go back home and get out of my life! You are no longer a part of it anymore and that’s they way it’s going to stay!” Justin yelled as he slammed down the phone. He raced out the door, hearing the phone start to ring as he went.

Brian let the phone ring about 15 times before giving up. He figured that if Justin was still there, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to answer the phone. He paced the small hotel room wondering what he should do next. He needed to get through to Justin somehow, but he wasn’t sure what the best approach would be. He called Daphne on her cell phone.

“Hello.” Daphne answered, wondering who was calling her cell during her work hours.

“It’s Brian. Got a minute?” Brian asked, hating to bather the girl at work but needing her input. She knew Justin better then anyone at this point and he needed all the help he could get.

“Brian! What’s wrong? Is something wrong with Justin?” She asked franticly. She knew Brian wouldn’t call her unless something was wrong.

“Calm down. I saw him this morning, but things didn’t go too well. I wanted to talk to him some more so I called the apartment to leave him a message. I figured he would be at work but he answered the phone. Something must have happened. He was really angry when he answered and once he knew it was me, his mood just seemed to get worse. I thought he was scheduled to work tonight?” Brian asked, wondering if he had the wrong day.

“He was scheduled to work. Something must have happened if he was home early. Let me find someone to cover for me and I’ll meet you back at the apartment in an hour. Wait outside for me in case he is there. We can confront him together. We can’t let this go on anymore. He keeps sinking deeper and deeper and if we don’t do something soon we are going to lose him.” Daphne replied with fear in her voice.

“We are not going to lose him. I won’t let that happen. I’ll meet you in an hour.” Brian said with determination. There was no way he was going to allow Justin to slip away. He lost him once, he wasn’t going to lose him again.

“I’ll see you soon.” Daphne replied before hanging up. She made the necessary calls and found someone to cover her and was relieved to be on her way a half hour later. She found Brian standing by the sidewalk as she approached the entrance to her building.

“Do you know if he’s home?” She asked as soon as she got close to him.

“I don’t see any lights on and haven’t seen any movements, so unless he’s sleeping, I don’t think he’s here.” Brian explained. He had been standing outside for forty minutes looking for signs of life but hadn’t seen any.

“Well let’s go in and see if he’s here.” Daphne said with hesitation. If Justin was as angry as Brian said she was afraid to see what was inside.

As the pair walked into the apartment they were met with silence. Daphne knew immediately that Justin wasn’t home. What she did see only increased her fears.

“Brian, look! There is broken glass all over the kitchen!” She exclaimed, looking around at the broken bottle all over the floor.

“Well it appears that our little Sunshine had quite a temper tantrum while he was home. I guess we will just have to clean up his mess and wait for him to get home. He doesn’t drive, does he?” Brian asked, suddenly worried about his safety.

“No. We only have one car and I have it tonight, thank God. I’ll clean this up. Go have a seat. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night.” Daphne instructed as she started sweeping up the broken glass. Once she got the kitchen cleaned up she sat down in the living room with Brian and waited for Justin to come home.

Justin paid the cab driver for the ride before swaying up the sidewalk towards home. He couldn’t believe the day he had. Not only did he lose his job, but Brian was starting to become a real problem. It had taken all this time for him to put aside some of his feelings for the man and now he was here in New Jersey stirring up all kinds of feelings that Justin didn’t want to face. He noticed the lights on in the apartment through the window and prayed that Daphne had fallen asleep. The last thing he wanted right now was to have to face Daphne’s accusations and the disappointment he always saw in her eyes lately. He was shocked to find her sitting in the living room with Brian. He groaned at the thought of what he was coming.

“Hey Sunshine. We were just talking about you.” Brian drawled, noticing the level of intoxication on the blond.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you to get lost twice today?” Justin slurred. He could feel himself swaying and had to reach out for the wall and steady himself.

“Justin, Brian and I are worried about you. Look at you! You are a fall down mess. What is going on? Why weren’t you at work tonight?” Daphne asked even though she already had an idea as to what had happened. She knew that the shock of seeing Brian this morning would make him run right to the bottle, not that it took much these days.

“I was fired today, alright? That’s why I wasn’t at work and I don’t want to talk about it. So, back off!” Justin exclaimed, heading to the kitchen. He needed to take something for the headache that was beginning to form in his head. He was startled when Brian grabbed him by the arm to stop him.

“Not so fast Justin. I told you earlier that we need to talk and I think now’s a good time.” Brian said, as he tried to lead Justin back to the couch. He was shocked by the force Justin used to get free.

“Don’t you touch me. I am a grown man now and I don’t have to do as I’m told, anymore.” He stated before turning on his friend. “You couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you, Daph? I told you, I was fine but no, you had to go running to Brian! I will never forgive you for bringing him here. I don’t want to talk to either one of you. Just leave me alone!” Justin yelled as he headed upstairs to get away from the accusations that he knew were forthcoming. As he reached the top of the stairs, he felt Brian come up behind him. He needed to get away and whirled around to confront Brian, once and for all.

“Justin. Please, just listen to what we have to say. We are only trying to help you. Don’t push us away.” Brian pleaded, hating to see the wild look in the blue eyes he loved so much.

“I don’t want to hear anything either one of you have to say! Now for the last time, leave me alone!” Justin exclaimed as he pushed Brian away. He stood there horrified as Brian toppled down the stairs and landed in a heap at the bottom. He hadn’t realized where they were standing and stood frozen as he watched the man he loved lying motionless with blood running down his face.

“Oh, my God! Brian!” Daphne screamed, as she ran to his side. She couldn’t believe what she had witnessed. Justin had pushed Brian down the stairs. She said a silent prayer as he watched for a sign that he was still breathing. Once she saw chest rise and fall, she looked up to see Justin looking down with a mixture of pain and disbelief on his face. She new that now wasn’t the time to say anything more about what was going on. Brian needed to get to the hospital.

“Justin! Don’t just stand there. Call an ambulance. Justin!” She yelled before realizing that he was in shock. She got up and reached for the cordless sitting on the table, then went back to Brian’s side. As she spoke to the operator, she took off her sweatshirt and used it to apply pressure to the wound on Brian’s head, to try to stop the bleeding. After being assured that help was on they way she hung up the phone and looked back up at Justin who still hadn’t moved from where he was standing. She realized that Justin had just hit rock bottom and if she didn’t do something to bring him around now, he might never make his way back.

“Are you happy now? Your drinking just caused you to hurt the only man you have ever loved!” She said as she heard the sounds of the ambulance in the distance.

End of part 3

8/18/03

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