Secret Love

Part 2

Brian fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, which was why he was wide awake at six in the morning. He stayed in bed for almost an hour until he faced the fact that sleeping in wasn’t going to be an option. He took a shower and then went downstairs to the small coffee shop off the lobby. There he took his time drinking his coffee and eating a low-fat muffin until he thought he’d go out of his mind. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was only 8:30. He wondered what the chances were that Justin was up and ready an hour and a half early. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to find out.

Brian parked his rental car outside Debbie’s house and climbed out, noticing that both Michael and Debbie’s car were no where in sight. He walked to the door and again went inside without knocking. The house was silent so he knew Justin had to be in bed. Brian went into the kitchen and fired up the coffee maker before climbing the stairs. He knocked lightly on Justin’s door, but when he got no answer, he turned the knob and peaked inside. Justin was curled up in a ball facing the door. Brian’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the angelic face. Justin had always been a cute kid with his blond hair and deep blue eyes, but seeing him now as a man was overwhelming. There had been a lot of changes in the four years they’d been apart. It was more than Brian ever expected. No wonder he was such a hit at Babylon.

Brian continued to stare for another few moments before shaking off his thoughts and entering the room. He walked over to the bed and sat down alongside the sleeping man, careful not to wake him up.

“Oh Justin,” he murmured, quietly. “Justin, it’s time to get up.”

Justin could hear the faint sound of Brian’s voice and in his sleep-filled haze thought it was a dream. He smiled slightly and reached out to grab the man in his dreams and was startled when he realized that someone was really alongside of him.

“Brian!” Justin exclaimed as he shot up in bed.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Brian teased as he tried to ignore Justin’s well defined chest that was now exposed as the covers gathered around his waist. “You planning on getting out of bed anytime soon?”

“What…what time is it?” Justin stammered as he glanced at the clock. “You’re early.”

“Yeah, I crashed as soon as I got back to my room last night so I couldn’t sleep in. I guess the same can’t be said for you.”

“Uh…no…I didn’t sleep too well last night,” Justin admitted as he ran a hand through his hair. A sudden, terrifying thought crossed his mind. He’d been dreaming about Brian, for reasons he couldn’t explain at the moment, and prayed he didn’t talk in his sleep. “How long have you been here?”

“Only a few minutes. Coffee’s brewing downstairs. Why don’t I go down and pour you a cup while you get in the shower?” Brian jumped up from the bed as soon as he realized how strong his desire was to discover what was lying underneath the covers. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

Justin sighed in relief as soon as Brian was gone. What the hell was going on with him? Why was he suddenly thinking about Brian as if he were some hot guy that he met in the clubs instead of his best friend? He had to stop it before he said or did something to scare Brian off. The last thing the guy needed was to know that his friend was lusting after him. He’d be on the first plane back to California.

Brian was sitting at the table drinking his coffee when Justin walked in looking much more wide awake after his shower. He smiled at Brian gratefully when he saw a coffee mug sitting by the coffee maker waiting for him.

“I’d apologize, but since you’re almost two hours early I think I’ll pass,” Justin teased as he filled his mug.

“It was only an hour and twenty minutes,” Brian replied defensively. “You shouldn’t be lying around in bed all day anyway.”

“Brian, I’m eighteen years old and getting ready to start college in the fall. Lying around in bed is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing,” Justin pointed out as he sat down across the table from his friend. “So, what’s on the agenda for today? Do you have a game plan?”

“Not really. I grabbed a paper from the hotel lobby and looked at some of the apartment listings, but I’m not really sure what I’m looking for. I know I don’t want to live in a shoe box. I spent four years living like that in the dorms,” Brian replied.

“Exactly how much were you planning on spending a month for rent?” Justin asked as a thought crossed his mind.

“I haven’t really thought about it. Ryder’s paying me a shit load of money, so paying the rent shouldn’t be a problem. Did you have some place in mind?”

“That depends. My friend Samantha’s mother is a realtor. She was just telling us about an old warehouse over by Liberty Avenue that was converted into condominiums. Since they’re in the process of rebuilding that part of town, the condos are really cheap. I wasn’t sure if you were looking to buy or just rent, but I thought I’d mention it,” Justin explained.

“Really? It would make sense that if I’m going to be paying monthly I at least own the place. Do you think you could call her and see if she could meet us there? It wouldn’t hurt to have a look at them,” Brian replied, intrigued with the idea. “Besides, it would save me from having to move again for awhile.”

“I’ll give her a call. I’m sure she’d be happy to meet us,” Justin said as he made his way to the phone.

As luck would have it, Samantha’s mother was free for most of the morning and willing to meet them within the hour. Brian liked Kathy as soon as he met her.

“Brian, did you part the Red Sea to get here?” Kathy said as she shook his hand.

“Excuse me?” Brian asked in confusion.

“By the way Justin’s always talking about you, I was beginning to think you could do anything,” she laughed as she punched a code into the keypad, allowing them entrance to the building.

Brian looked over at Justin with a humorous expression.

“I might have mentioned you once or twice,” Justin replied sheepishly, feeling himself blush under Brian’s glare.

Kathy continued, oblivious to Justin’s discomfort. “That kid was over the moon when he found out that you were moving back to Pittsburgh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that happy and I’ve known him ever since he and Sam became friends back in the tenth grade.”

“It’s good to know I was missed,” Brian said was a chuckle. He was getting a lot of enjoyment over Justin’s embarrassment.

“Okay, so what do you say we get on with this,” Justin said, trying to draw the attention away from himself.

Kathy and Brian smiled at each other before letting Justin off the hook. They spent the next half hour looking at the different sized condos, but Brian wasn’t impressed with any of them. As they walked out of the last one, a fairly spacious two bedroom, Brian turned to apologize to Kathy.

“I’m sorry, but none of these feel right. The living rooms are small, the bathrooms are tiny, and I won’t even begin to point out the flaws with the bedrooms. After living in a dorm for four years and sleeping in a bed no bigger than a shoe box, I was kind of hoping for something a little more spacious. I mean, did you see the closet space?”

“I was under the impression that you were looking for an apartment. I figured this was what you meant. There is one other possibility, if you’re interested. It’s a little more pricey than what you’ve seen so far, but it just might be what you’re looking for,” Kathy said as they climbed back into the rickety old elevator. “The top floor is actually smaller than the rest of the building. I think it used to be storage for the warehouse. The owners decided to turn it into a single loft. It’s only got one bedroom, but it’s very spacious. The rest of the place is open and airy. I think it just might be perfect for you.”

When they got out of the elevator on the top floor, the first thing Brian noticed was the large metal door across from them. He was intrigued. Kathy put her key in the lock and slid the door open, giving Brian a glimpse inside.

“I’ve got to run down to my car. I’m late for a meeting at the office and want to call and let them know I’ll be there soon. Take a look around while I’m gone and you can let me know what you think when I get back,” Kathy suggested before disappearing through the large doorway.

Brian barely noticed she left as he took in his surroundings. She was right, the room had an openness about it that he’d never find in an apartment or condo. The kitchen was perfect for someone like him who tended to order out more than cook. As he continued his inspection, he came to the steps leading up to the bedroom. It was everything he imagined when he thought about having his own place. He knew that a king size bed would fit in perfectly. The closet was at least twice the size of every other one they’d seen so far, and a peek in the bathroom told him that he was finally home.

“Wow Brian, this place is incredible,” Justin said as he walked towards where Brian was standing admiring the bedroom once again. “I wouldn’t mind living in a place like this myself.”

“Sorry Justin, you’ll have to settle on visiting. I’m taking it,” Brian said with assurance.

“Are you sure you can afford it? You haven’t even asked how much it is,” Justin pointed out.

“I don’t care how much it is. Believe me, I’ll find a way to afford it if I have to. This is perfect,” Brian said, still looking around the room in awe. When he started out he wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking for, but he somehow knew that he had found it.

As it turned out, Brian could easily afford the monthly payments on the loft with the salary he was going to be bringing in. Since the renovations were still new and the town was still in need of work, the prices were extremely low. They followed Kathy to her office where Brian signed all the necessary paperwork. It got to be a little uncomfortable for Brian when Kathy realized exactly who Brian was.

“Your father’s Jack Kinney? I didn’t know he had a son,” Kathy said as she looked over the paperwork.

“Yeah, he tends to forget it most of the time, too,” Brian replied bitterly, causing Kathy to drop her interest immediately.

Justin heard the anger in Brian’s tone and placed a comforting hand on his knee. He sometimes forget how hard Brian’s childhood had been.

Once everything was in order, Kathy shook Brian’s hand and told him she’d be in touch in a few days before the duo made their way back to the car. Brian had been a little subdued since the comment about his father, and Justin’s brain was scrambling for something to say to get Brian’s mind off his parents.

“So, where to next? Do you have something particular in mind for wheels?”

“I’m not sure. Got any suggestions? You did good with my housing,” Brian replied, pushing his parents back to a far corner in his mind, right where they belonged.

“Let me think,” Justin said as he began eyeing Brian up and down as if he never really saw him before. “I’d say a jeep. Blue…no, black. Definitely black.”

“A jeep? I don’t know,” Brian said as he tried to imagine himself driving a jeep around town.

“Trust me on this. You’d look hot behind the wheel of a black jeep,” Justin assured him without thinking about what he was saying. He immediately began to panic when his brain registered what he had said. “And…besides, um…a jeep would be perfect for winters in Pittsburgh. You know…4 wheel drive is great in the snow.”

Brian picked up on Justin’s nervousness and smiled to himself, but decided not to mention Justin’s comment on him being hot. “You got a point there. Okay, let’s go test drive some jeeps.”

Once again luck was on Brian’s side. He found a black jeep on the lot of the second dealership they went to, and after a quick test drive, Brian was once again sitting at a desk signing his life away.

“You know, you’ve been like my good luck charm today. I just might have to keep you around,” Brian teased as the salesman went to run his credit check. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“That’s what friends are for. It’s a good thing you didn’t bring Mikey with you. He’d have you living in the bat cave and driving the bat mobile,” Justin joked.

“You don’t think I’d actually take his advice on shit like this, do you?” Brian asked with a smirk. “I love the guy, but his obsession with comics is bordering on creepy. I thought he would’ve grown out of it by now.”

“Yeah, Mom’s tried talking to him but it’s no use. I guess he’s destined to be a comic book geek for life,” Justin laughed.

It took almost two hours, but by the time Brian and Justin left the dealership, Brian was the proud owner of a jeep. He had Justin drive the rental car back to the airport while he followed behind so it could be returned and then the two of them took a joy ride through the city. By the time they made it back Debbie’s it was almost dinner time. A part of Justin was sad to see their day together end. It was nice that it had been just the two of them. Then again, he was kind of glad that they’d have Michael with them for the rest of the night. His thoughts were becoming way too complicated for him to deal with.

“I guess car shopping was a success,” Michael said as he met them out on the front porch. He’d been home from work for over an hour and was anxious to see his friend again.

“It was a successful day all the way around. I not only bought a car, but I’m also buying a loft,” Brian beamed.

“You’re buying a loft? I thought you were looking to rent an apartment?” Michael asked in confusion.

Brian began explaining their day to his friend, with Justin jumping in and adding his share of memories. Michael stood there on the porch and listened to the two of them, not really liking what he was hearing. It sounded to him as if Brian and Justin bonded during their day together. They’d always been close, but their friendship usually centered around him. Now they were acting like the best of friends, making Michael feel like an outsider. He couldn’t help but feel Brian had just walked right in and taken his place with Justin. It had to be his imagination, though. He’d always been closer to Justin than anyone else. That was one of the reasons he decided to pursue something between them. Even though his mother adopted Justin when he was small, there was no blood relation between them which was why he wasn’t too freaked out when he realized that he was becoming more and more attracted to the blond. Not only was the kid gorgeous, but he was funny and kind and smart as hell. Then there was his talent. Justin had been drawing ever since the day Debbie had brought him home, and through the years he just got even better. It was no wonder that he’d been accepted to PIFA. He was destined to be the next great artist and Michael couldn’t have been prouder.

He briefly thought back to the day he realized that Justin was more than a pesky little brother. The blond had been almost sixteen and came home from school so excited over winning first place in a county art contest that the school sponsored. The flush of his cheeks and the gleam in his eyes caused Michael’s heart the make its way up to his throat and form a lump the size of Texas. The feeling had really thrown Michael for a loop. Justin was his brother. He had no right to be feeling the way he was feeling. It was another six months before he finally convinced himself that despite the adoption, Justin was in no way related him. They were free to feel however they wanted to feel. Soon after that, Michael had invited Justin to go to Babylon with him. He figured that would be a good way of easing Justin into the idea of them being together. Unfortunately the plan backfired the minute Justin walked into the noisy club. Men everywhere literally stopped what they were doing to catch a glimpse of the new guy and they loved what they saw. Justin had spent the rest of the night bathed in attention from almost everyone in the room. By the time they were on their way home, not only was Michael clueless as to what to do next, but Justin had found a new hobby. Since then he’d spent endless nights dancing and drinking and fucking, making a name for himself as the new stud of Liberty. No one had affected the club like that since Brian Kinney had moved away and the hundreds of horny queers that frequented the club were thrilled with his replacement. Michael attempted to talk to Justin about his feelings, but he never seemed to find the courage to do it. In fact, he promised himself that he’d talk to the blond right after graduation, but then they got the news that Brian was coming back and all thoughts of talking were once again shoved aside.

Now here he was, watching the closeness between his brother and friend and he couldn’t help the jealousy that threatened to overtake him. He suddenly shook those thoughts away when he realized that both Brian and Justin were looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to reply to something they said. Something that he never heard through his daze.

“What?” Michael asked sheepishly.

“I asked if you were still coming to Babylon with us,” Brian repeated, slightly annoyed. “Shit Mikey, pay attention when I’m talking to you.”

“Uh…sorry…I was thinking about…um…something that happened at work,” Michael stammered.

“Whatever,” Brian replied. “Are you going?”

“Of course I’m going. Now let’s get inside. Ma’s making lasagna for dinner and I’m starving,” Michael said as he turned to go inside.

Justin stayed quiet but noticed the strange way Michael was acting. Once the other man was gone, he turned and looked at Brian questioningly, but Brian just shrugged his shoulders in confusion before going inside with Justin following right behind him.

Babylon was hopping by the time they got there. Brian was really surprised by the reception that Justin got when he walked in the door. He’d heard some stories from Michael and even a few from Justin, but he didn’t expect what he was seeing. They walked over to the bar and Justin was immediately given a drink without asking, the bartender winking at him before he turned and took Brian and Michael’s order. They finished those off and had another round before the three of them made their way to the dance floor. They danced for what seemed like hours, having a good time and enjoying the fact that they were all together.

Brian watched curiously as Michael seemed to pay close attention to Justin. It was weird the way the dark haired man seemed to focus on Justin while Justin continued to dance obliviously. It caused the wheels in his mind to start turning. Had something happened between the two of them? Neither one had mentioned anything in the last four years, but that didn’t mean that there was nothing to mention. He started focusing more on Justin himself and realized that Justin really did seem oblivious to what was happening around him. That seemed to just pique Brian’s curiosity even more. He thought about pulling Justin aside and asking about it, but before he had a chance, a guy dressed in nothing but leather strode up to Justin, grabbing him from behind. Justin immediately relaxed slightly in the guy’s arms, grinding his ass into the stranger’s crotch. Brian knew what was going to happen next. What he didn’t know was why that knowledge seemed to piss him off.

He tried to ignore what was taking place before him, but as Justin and the leather guy started making their way towards the back room, ignorance wasn’t as easy to accept. Brian finally pulled his eyes away from the couple and looked at Michael, only to find his line of vision pointing directly to where his had been.

“And here we go,” Michael murmured once the couple was out of sight.

“What?”

“I said here we go,” Michael repeated. “A typical night at Babylon. Justin and I come and dance, but soon enough he’s off to the back room and I’m all by myself.”

Brian heard the hint of jealousy in Michael’s voice and knew that there was definitely something going on. What he didn’t know was if it was one-sided or if Justin was trying to lead Michael on. Brian wanted to ask his friend, but before he had a chance to, someone came up behind him and whispered in his ear. The music was so loud that Brian could barely make out his words, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist in a place like that to figure out what the guy wanted. He thought about refusing, wanting to get to the bottom of what was happening, but curiosity got the better of him. Something was drawing him into the back room although he refused to admit to himself that it was the thought of Justin being back there that sealed the deal.

As soon as Brian walked through the doorway he spotted Justin off to the side, the leather guy on his knees in front of him. Brian led his own trick over to the right so that he had a view of his friend. It was wrong, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop himself. He gently but forcefully pushed his trick down and waited only a few moments before he felt himself being taking into a warm mouth. His initial reaction was to close his eyes and enjoy the ride, but he couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes. Instead he leaned back, ready to watch the show. Justin was leaning against the wall, his head thrown back and his mouth slightly parted. The sight was more erotic than Brian ever considered and he quickly felt himself moving closer to completion. Luckily the guy before him was talented enough that Brian didn’t have time to think about what he was doing. He didn’t have time to think about how he was watching his friend get a blow job and getting off on it.

He could sense from the way Justin’s body started tensing that he was getting close to spilling his seed and was about to look away when Justin’s head suddenly popped up and his eyes found Brian’s. The blond smirked at him as his orgasm took hold, but he never once looked away from the hazel eyes boring into him. Watching Justin sent Brian over the edge and he, too continued to maintain eye contact as he rode out his own orgasm. Something just happened between them. They were across the room from each other, but something happened that was bound to change the friendship they had together. Brian wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but either way, nothing was going to be the same.

The trio left soon after Brian and Justin re-emerged from the back room. Nothing much was said on the drive back to Debbie’s and as soon as Brian pulled the jeep up outside the house, Michael mumbled a good night and took off inside, leaving Brian and Justin to watch him go.

“Well, it was nice finally getting to go out with you guys,” Justin said in the otherwise awkward silence.

“Justin, about what happened tonight,” Brian started, not sure exactly what he wanted to say.

“Look Brian, let’s just not worry about it, okay? It happened, it was weird, not to mention pretty hot, but it was no big deal. We see action like that all the time in back rooms. Tonight was nothing out of the ordinary,” Justin lied, hoping that his true feelings weren’t as obvious to Brian as they were to him.

Brian knew that Justin was bullshitting him, but he also knew why. What happened between them seemed to disturb them both, but neither one of them were willing to admit it.

“I better get inside,” Justin continued when Brian didn’t say anything else. “Michael seems kind of pissed about something.”

Brian’s mind immediately went back to his friend. “You know he’s in love with you, right?”

“Shit,” Justin sighed. “I was hoping it was only my imagination.”

“So you knew?”

“I suspected. Lately I’ve noticed a change in the way he looks at me. The other day I found him watching me dry off after my shower. It was kind of creepy,” Justin admitted feeling relieved to finally share his suspicions with someone. “I mean…he’s my brother. That’s just…not right.”

“Well technically he’s not your brother,” Brian pointed out, finding a little bit of comfort in Justin’s disinterest.

“Maybe not, but we grew up together as brothers. It’s just weird, you know? I think Mom would have a fit if she knew.”

“I take it you haven’t said anything to him,” Brian replied.

“Hell no. I don’t want to make it any weirder than it already is. I figured that it didn’t matter. In two more months I’ll be living on campus and won’t be around as much. Hopefully by then he’ll be over whatever it is he’s feeling and we’ll never have to talk about it,” Justin explained.

“What if he isn’t? What if things get worse?” Brian asked.

“Then I’ll have to say something to him. Besides, he knows how I am. He knows I don’t do relationships. I can’t imagine what he’s hoping to gain by falling for someone like me.”

“Maybe he can’t help it. Maybe you just have a way of drawing people in,” Brian replied, wondering if what he was suggesting had anything to do with what he was feeling at that moment.

“Believe me, Brian. I’m nothing special,” Justin all but whispered. “I’d better go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a call,” Brian assured him.

In the last four years, their contact had been almost daily. Even if it was a quick email just saying hello, there were very few days where they went without any contact at all. Brian was beginning to think that it might be a good thing to change that aspect of their friendship, but he didn’t know how to do that without raising suspicion about his feelings; feelings that he didn’t understand himself. Besides, the truth of the matter was that he enjoyed his daily contact with Justin. He looked forward to it every day. He wasn’t willing to change that just because he was starting to see Justin in a different light. It was obviously just the shock of seeing the boy again after so long. He was hot. Brian couldn’t help but react to that. It didn’t mean he was looking to further their relationship. Just like Justin, he didn’t do relationships either. Given time Justin would go back to just being Justin and everything would be fine again. Michael was the problem. Not him.


End of part 2
01/05/06

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