Something To Prove

Chapter 9

It had been six months since Justin got his first test results back from the doctor and in that time his life seemed to be slowly coming together. He had found his desire to create again and he had been showing his work in a small, out of the way art gallery where he began working part time answering phones and greeting guests. Aaron had finally gotten used to his Papa being gone and showed no signs of distress when his daddy left the house to go to work three days a week. Even his and Brian’s friendship seemed to be growing stronger every day. They were able to laugh and have fun together without all the stress of the guilt that had plagued them both in the beginning.

Justin’s health also seemed to be returning to normal. After the doctor had warned him of the risks associated with his lack of nutrition and sleep, Justin began to watch his diet regularly. He only had to take the prescribed sleeping pills for a few weeks before his body began to crave the required rest that he needed without aid and he was able to sleep through the night on his own. Even his mental state was progressing nicely, which was why he insisted on going for his six month results on his own. He didn’t want Brian to miss anymore work because of him and he was confident that he would be able to handle the visit on his own. He was still a little nervous while he waited for the doctor in his office, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. The blood test was just a formality, and he had no doubt that it would come back just as the first one did.

When Dr. Simmons walked through the door, Justin was ready to get the visit over with so he could finally put all the unpleasantness behind him and move on.

“Hello Justin, how’re you feeling?” Dr. Simmons greeted him as he took a seat behind his desk.

“I’m feeling great. Better than I have in months. How does everything look?”

“Well just as I suspected, the second set of tests came back negative. I believe you’re in the clear,” Dr. Simmons said with a smile. “I’m also very pleased with the rest of your other blood work. I think it’s safe to say that you’re a very healthy young man.”

“Thank you, doctor. I was really hoping you’d say that. Now maybe Brian can get off my back. He’s been impossible to live with for the last six months,” Justin laughed. “Does this mean I don’t have to make anymore monthly visits? Not that I don’t thoroughly enjoy seeing you, of course. It’s the needle in the arms that I’m opposed to.”

Dr. Simmons laughed out loud at Justin’s joke. “Don’t worry. I understand. You know as a doctor it’s my job to advise you to get regular check-ups once a year, but other than that, there’s no reason for you to come back here. I have to say though, that I think my phlebotomist will be a little disappointed.”

“Really? Why?” Justin asked in confusion. “I doubt there’s a shortage of arms to stick.”

“No, that there’s not. I think poor Drew has developed a soft spot for you,” Dr. Simmons chuckled. “He seems to splash on a little extra cologne when he sees your name in the appointment book.”

“Oh,” Justin replied, blushing all the way to his toes. “Then I guess I should make sure to say goodbye since I won’t be back for awhile.”

“You do that.” The doctor made some notes in Justin’s chart before standing up and extending his arm. “I’m glad everything worked out for you. If all goes well, I guess I’ll see you around this time next year.”

“Thanks for everything, Dr. Simmons. I’ll make sure to eat plenty of vegetables and drink lots of juice,” Justin teased as he shook the doctor’s hand and followed him out the door. He walked down the hallway towards the reception door when he heard Drew calling out to him. He turned around and smiled brightly at the man before him.

“I guess by the smile on your face that everything went well?” Drew asked as soon as he was standing in front of Justin.

“Yep, I got a clean bill of health. It looks like I won’t be coming back for awhile,” Justin replied happily.

“That’s too bad,” Drew said before realizing the implication of his words. “I mean…it’s good that you’re all better. I just meant that I wouldn’t mind seeing you in here again next month.”

Justin laughed at Drew’s nervousness. Now that he knew that Drew was attracted to him, he saw the way he seemed to look deep into his eyes. It was something he never noticed before. “Yeah, I was kind of getting used to seeing everyone regularly. Maybe I could come back and visit.”

“Or maybe you could have dinner with me tonight?” Drew blurted out quickly, before losing his nerve.

Justin took in the slight fear in Drew’s eyes and thought it was endearing. “Yeah, I think I’d like that,” he replied, realizing how much he meant it. Wyatt had been gone for eight months and in that time Justin hardly left the house except for trips to the doctor and his time at the gallery. It was definitely time for him to get out and begin living again. “Why don’t you pick me up at seven? I’m sure you know how to get my address, right?”

“I’ll see you at seven,” Drew replied with a wicked smile. He had Justin’s address in his wallet for the last three months, just in case.

Justin nearly skipped all the way to Joan’s car, feeling carefree for the first time since the night of the fire. He still missed Wyatt and what they had together, but after learning about the secret life his partner had been living, it was hard to feel guilty about wanting a little happiness of his own.

Jack and Joan seemed pleased with his dinner plans and assured him that they didn’t mind putting Aaron to bed for him. Brian had called before Justin got him to say that he was stuck at work and wouldn’t be home until late. Justin was a little disappointed, having wanted to share his news with his friend, but refused to let it get him down. Instead he went into the kitchen to make his son dinner and spent some quality time with the boy before going to get ready for his date. At precisely seven o’clock the doorbell rang, signaling Drew’s arrival. Justin left Aaron upstairs in front of the TV, feeling a little nervous as he went to answer the door. He felt a little funny about introducing his date to Wyatt’s parents, even though they assured him that they thought it was great that he was getting out for awhile.

The introductions went better than Justin imagined and by the time he and Drew walked out the door, Joan was insisting that they stay out late and have a good time. Justin was laughing all the way to the car.

“Okay, so I’m guessing that they’re not your parents since you called the Jack and Joan. Are they family?” Drew asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

“It’s a long story. How about if I explain it to you during dinner?” Justin replied, suddenly realizing that Drew knew nothing about the life he led.

“Sounds good to me. I’d really like to get to know you better,” Drew told him.

Once they were seated in a cozy restaurant just outside of Chelsea, Justin began his tale. Drew listened to the story, holding all his questions until Justin had a chance to finish. By the time he was done, Justin was pretty sure he left nothing out aside from his prior relationship with Brian. Even Jack and Joan didn’t know anything about that.

“So let me get this straight. Jack and Joan Kinney are like your in-laws?” Drew asked, surprised by Justin’s story. He never imagined the life the blond lead before they met six months earlier.

“Yeah, I guess they are. I never really thought about it like that before since Wyatt and I weren’t really married. But I would guess that if gay marriages were more accepted in the states then we would’ve been so it makes sense,” Justin replied. “Are you okay with this? I mean, I come with a lot of baggage.”

“Hey, we all have a past. So how old did you say your son was? Do you have a picture of the little guy?” Drew asked without missing a beat.

Justin reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, ready to show his son off with pride. “He’s almost four already. I can’t believe how time flies.”

Drew looked down at the picture Justin handed to him with a smile. “He’s beautiful, just like his daddy.”

The compliment made Justin blush and he was glad that the lights in the place were on the dim side. After Justin’s admissions, the conversation turned towards Drew and his life. He told Justin about his desire to become a nurse and how much he loved the thought of being able to help people. He originally planned to become a doctor, but his parents had passed away just after his eighteenth birthday and he spent the next four years raising his little brother. So instead of going off to medical school, he got a full time job and took courses at night to get his phlebotomist license. He got the job with Dr. Simmons soon after and had been there ever since. His brother had gone on to college and graduated from Long Island University with a degree in marketing the year before, landing a job with a prestigious firm in Albany. Now that he was finally settled, Drew felt that it was time to pursue his dreams and planned on enrolling back in school for the fall semester.

The evening went well and Justin found out that he really enjoyed Drew’s company. After leaving the restaurant, they stopped at a little bar that Drew frequented occasionally and had a couple of drinks before heading back to the Kinney residence. Justin had been a little worried that Drew would expect more from him, but was pleasantly surprised to see the direction they headed after getting back to the car. When they pulled into the driveway, Justin saw that Brian’s car was there and hoped that he didn’t come out to greet them. For some reason the thought of introducing Brian to Drew didn’t sit well with him. Justin was surprised when Drew offered to walk him to do the door but didn’t object as they got out of the car. Once they reached the doorstep, Justin turned to Drew and thanked him for a nice evening.

“Justin, I want you to understand something. I wanted nothing more than to take you back to my place for the night, but I sensed that you’re not ready for that. I don’t mind waiting. I just hope that you’re willing to see me again.”

Justin was touched by Drew’s compassion. “I’d like that. Why don’t you give me a call. I’m guessing that you have my number, right?”

“Of course I do,” Drew laughed before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Justin’s lips. It only lasted for a moment. Just long enough to make Justin want more. “I’ll talk to you soon,” Drew whispered before walking away and leaving Justin to stare after him.

Once Drew’s car was out of sight, Justin unlocked the door and let himself in quietly. He didn’t want to wake anyone up since it was well after midnight. He was surprised to see the light on in the living room and went in to see who was up. His eyes immediately found Brian, who was standing by the fireplace staring at the flames.

“I didn’t expect anyone to be up,” he said softly so he wouldn’t startle the other man.

Brian spun around and looked at Justin with cold eyes. “How was you date?”

“It…uh…it was…nice,” Justin stammered, shocked by the sarcasm in Brian’s voice.

“Do you think it’s wise to be jumping into bed with the first guy that looks your way?” Brian taunted.

“What?” Justin asked in horror. “I didn’t jump into bed with anyone. Not that it’s any of your business, but we just went to dinner and then for a couple of drinks.”

“Oh, and you expect me to believe that?” Brian spat back as he stalked across the room, stopping just in front of Justin.

“Actually Brian, I don’t care what you believe,” Justin replied angrily as he took in Brian’s close proximity and the smell of alcohol on his breath. “Like I said before, it’s none of your business. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I’m not going to stand here and allow you to ruin what turned out to be a very nice evening.”

Without replying, Brian reached out and grabbed Justin by the neck, roughly pulling him into a steaming kiss. He knew as he was doing it that he was being an asshole, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He had gotten home from work just after eight and was horrified to hear from his parents that Justin was out on a date. And as the time seemed to tick by ever so slowly, his anger and frustration continued building until he could barely see straight. Hearing Justin tell him that he and his date didn’t sleep together was of little comfort when he saw the joy on the younger man’s face.

Justin felt himself being pulled to Brian just before he felt the man’s warm lips cover his own. He wanted to stop what was happening, but it had been so long since he had a taste of the man he loved that he was powerless to stop it. Instead he parted his lips and was rewarded by the feeling of Brian’s tongue entering his mouth. Without thinking about the consequences, Justin reached up and clumsily began fumbling with the buttons of Brian’s shirt, wanting to feel Brian’s skin under his fingertips. Brian must have sensed his urgency because he quickly reached up and tore at his shirt, sending buttons flying in all directions. Everything happened so quickly after that and before Justin had time to notice they were both completely stripped down and he was being bent over the back of the nearest chair. When he felt Brian’s fingers enter him, he gasped at the mixture of pleasure and pain that coursed through him.

“Oh God,” Justin rasped as Brian picked up the pace. “Brian…”

“Tell me what you want, Justin,” Brian ground out as he worked his fingers in and out of Justin in a frenzied pace. “Tell me what you need.”

“I need you. Please Brian…I need you inside me,” Justin moaned huskily.

Brian removed his hand and quickly went in search of his pants, finding the necessary supplies and getting back to Justin immediately. A small part of his brain was screaming for him to stop. Telling him that what he was doing was wrong, but his need to have Justin, to stake his claim on him again far outweighed his conscious and he quickly sheathed his cock and buried himself inside the waiting hole before Justin had time to come to his senses. As soon as he was in, he felt as if he was finally home. All their years apart evaporated as they quickly found the rhythm that they once found so comforting. Brian picked up the pace as he leaned over Justin, kissing and biting at his exposed flesh, needing to leave him mark on him like he never had before. He felt his orgasm building and struggled to hold off just a little bit longer, wanting the moment before him to last as long as possible.

Justin relished the feeling of Brian pounding into him, tears of sheer joy cascading down his cheeks. He’d wanted this moment for so long, dreamed of it even back during his days with Wyatt, and couldn’t believe that he was finally back where he belonged. He was once again being dominated by Brian and it was a feeling he never experienced with anyone else. He knew he shouldn’t have let things go as far as they had, but there was never a doubt in his mind that if given the opportunity, he would allow Brian to enter him again. He felt that familiar tingling in his balls and wished there was a way to prolong his release, but nothing he did could stop the ecstasy the overtook him as he came with such force it almost caused him to lose consciousness. He cried out Brian’s name as he shot his load, feeling his muscles clamping down on Brian, triggering the other man’s release.

As soon as Brian filled the condom and began coming down from his high, he felt such guilt and remorse over his behavior. He never wanted to hurt Justin and he hated the way he practically forced himself on him in a fit of anger. He carefully pulled out and turned away, not wanting to see the look of disgust and hatred that he feared he’d find in Justin’s eyes.

“Brian,” Justin said as he watched Brian walk back over to the fireplace he was gazing into when he first arrived.

“Go to bed, Justin,” Brian said evenly, his voice not giving away his emotions.

“But…I…”

“Just go.”

Justin fought back the sob that was threatening to come out as he quickly threw on his cloths and ran from the room. His biggest fear had just come to life. He finally had Brian again after years of wanting him and now Brian regretted it. He was turning his back on him just as he’d done all those years before. The pain that engulfed him was so powerful that it made it difficult to breathe. When was he going to learn? When would he ever realize that he wasn’t enough for Brian and he never would be?

Brian waited until he heard Justin’s footsteps fading in the distance before he turned around and gathered his clothes. He dressed quickly and grabbed his car keys before making a quick getaway. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he knew that after what he had done, he needed to put some distance between him and Justin. He finally decided to go the get a room for the night at one of the hotels and couldn’t even bring himself to look in the eye of the woman behind the counter as he checked in. His shame prevented him from looking anyone in the eyes. Once he was given a room key, he silently made his way up the elevator and into his room. He threw himself down on the bed without turning on the light. The smell of Justin still lingered on his body as a constant reminder of the line he had crossed. And as he lay there in the dark, berating himself for his actions, one thought kept replaying over and over in his mind.

“Oh God, what have I done?”


End of part 9
10/30/05

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