Something To Prove

Chapter 3

“Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Brian!” Aaron shrieked as he walked into the living room to see his family all crowded by the front door. “What’re you doing here?”

“Hey there Munchkin,” Brian said as he kneeled down in front of his nephew, taking him in his arms. “We came to see you.”

“Really Uncle Brian? How did you know we’d be here? Did Daddy tell you guys about the fire?”

“Yes he did, son. You must have been pretty scared,” Jack said as he patted the boy’s head.

“I was, but Daddy was there. He took care of me,” Aaron replied proudly. “He’s the best daddy ever. I don’t know where Papa is, though. Daddy said he had to go away.”

Brian found himself trying to swallow a lump in his throat at the child’s innocence. He was too young to understand what he lost.

Joan, who’d been fighting back tears ever since getting out of the cab out front, knew she needed to change the subject before they were all a blubbering mess and scared the boy. “So Aaron, where’s Daddy?”

“He’s lying down right now. He didn’t really sleep much last night,” Maggie said, interrupting the reunion. “Come in and make yourselves at home. You must be Brian,” she said as she shook the tall man’s hand. “Wyatt’s told me a lot about you. I wish we had met under better circumstances.”

“Yeah, me too,” Brian replied softly. He followed his parents further into the living room and dropped down on the couch. He hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep either and was exhausted from their trip.

“Would anyone like some tea? I just put the water on before you arrived,” Maggie offered.

“That would be nice,” Joan replied weakly. “Can I help?”

“Of course not, you’re my guest. But you’re welcome to keep me company while I prepare everything,” Maggie smiled reassuringly.

Aaron followed the two women into the kitchen leaving Jack and Brian alone.

“Son, how’re you holding up? You haven’t said much since yesterday,” Jack asked as he took in the dark circles under his son’s eyes.

“There’s not much to say. I think I’m going to go for a walk. I need some air.”

Brian didn’t wait for a response before getting up and walking out the door. He’d only been to Wyatt’s house a handful of times, but he knew the neighborhood well. Brian had given up smoking years ago but every so often he indulged himself and he and Wyatt would walk through the neighborhood and talk about what Vermont had to offer. He wasn’t surprised when he found himself standing out front of the burned out house thinking about his brother’s last moments. Did he suffer? Or was he lucky enough to just go quietly in his sleep? Brian had a feeling that he didn’t want to know.

As he stood there holding back his tears, he heard someone approaching and turned to see a woman about his mother’s age at his side.

“It’s such a shame, isn’t it? I heard one of the occupants didn’t make it,” she said softly.

“No, he didn’t,” Brian replied.

“Did you know him?”

“Yeah, he was my brother.”

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry. The other one, he and the little boy are okay?”

“Yeah, they made it out in time,” Brian assured her, trying not to let his bitterness show.

“Well, I guess we have to look for blessings where we can. I just moved in on the next block. I never got a chance to meet them, but I’ve seen them out on occasion. They seemed like such a nice family. My condolences to all of you.”

Brian just nodded his head as the woman walked away before turning and heading back towards Maggie’s house. He needed to get away from the memories that were invading his thoughts. The trouble was that no matter where he went, he couldn’t seem to shake them.

The next few days seemed to pass in a blur for Justin. He had met with a lawyer and found out some surprising news that he hadn’t shared with anyone and now he had even more worries other than just trying to figure out how to live without the man he loved. It was decided that Wyatt’s body would be flown back to New York to be buried by the rest of the Kinney’s, but they held a memorial service for the people of Vermont who had gotten to know both men during their years of living there.

Justin was surprised by the amount of people in attendance. He never realized how many people knew and admired Wyatt. The mid-sized room in Mallory Funeral Home was filled to capacity as people from all around came to pay their respects. Justin tried his best to greet everyone and thank them for coming but after the first hour he knew he needed to get away from everyone for a few minutes before he had a break down. He stepped back from the crowd and silently made his way out the door and off to the side of the building where no one would find him. Or so he thought, but he should’ve known better.

“Are you alright?” Dani asked as she approached her friend.

“Define alright. I’m still breathing so I guess I’m doing better than Wyatt,” Justin replied angrily. He was so tired of people asking him if he was alright.

“I’m sorry; I’m just worried about you. Is there anything I can do to make it a little bit easier?”

“I was thinking…maybe you could take Aaron home with you,” Justin said sadly, refusing to look his friend in the eye. “At least until I can figure out what to do next.”

“Justin! You don’t mean that. Aaron means the world to you and he’s hurting, too. You can’t just send him away with complete strangers. He’ll be terrified!” Dani exclaimed.

“Dan, you and Kevin aren’t exactly strangers to him. And besides, I don’t know what else to do. I would think going to Texas would be better than sleeping on the street,” Justin sighed miserably.

“You’re not going to be sleeping on the street. You’ll have Wyatt’s life insurance. That should hold you over until your next paycheck.”

“I wish that were true.” Justin took a deep breath before sharing the devastating news he had found out the day before. “Wyatt hadn’t paid the house insurance bill in three months so they cancelled it. After paying for the memorial and the expense of flying him back to New York there isn’t even enough to pay the balance on the mortgage. All my paintings for the showing were in the studio so I won’t be getting a paycheck for a long time. I have nothing, Dani. Aside from the few things that Maggie picked up for us at the mall the other day, Aaron and I have nothing.”

Dani gasped at the revelation. She had no idea he friend was dealing with so much. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? God Justin, what’re you going to do?”

“I don’t know. At least if Aaron was with you I would have one less thing to worry about.”

“That’s not the answer. You need him just as much as he needs you,” Dani pointed out, noticing that Justin wasn’t objecting. “Maybe Kevin and I can help…”

“No! I’m not taking your money. You and Kevin just bought a house and I know you’re getting ready to start a family. There’s no way I’d take anything from you. Forget it. I’ll figure something out.” Justin’s tone left no room for argument.

“Have you told Mr. and Mrs. Kinney about this?”

“No and I’m not going to. Wyatt wouldn’t want them to know. He’s always kept his personal business from them. He wanted them to think that he was making it on his own, and he was. I’m not even sure why he let the insurance lapse. He never mentioned us having financial problems.” Justin looked out over the lush lawn that surrounded the funeral home, once again trying to understand why Wyatt kept him in the dark.

“But Justin,” she tried again.

“Dan, could you just go back inside? I need a few minutes to myself before going back in there,” Justin said quietly.

Dani nodded her head and turned to go back inside. She’d always known Justin was stubborn, but this time she wasn’t going to allow him to suffer in silence. Hoping that she wasn’t ruining the close friendship she’d come to depend on through the years, she walked over to where Wyatt’s parents were standing and address them carefully.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kinney, I’m sorry to bother you both right now but I really need to talk to you and I’m leaving from here to go to the airport in a little while. Could I have a few minutes of your time before I go?”

“Sure dear,” Joan replied as she led the woman out of the room and into a small conference room that the director told them was open if they needed some privacy. “Before you begin, I just want to say thank you for the wonderful gift you gave Justin and my son. I know Wyatt’s last years were everything he hoped for and Aaron was a big part of that. He’s such a remarkable little boy.”

“Thank you. I was glad I could give them both the child they wanted. Gay men shouldn’t have to give up their dreams of being parents just because they don’t love women. Wyatt was such a great guy and Justin and I have been friends for over twenty years. I’d do anything for him.” Dani stopped for a moment and reassured herself she was doing the right thing before continuing. “Which is why I’m going behind Justin’s back and talking to you.”

“Going behind Justin’s back? What do you mean?” Jack asked suddenly concerned.

“I’m not sure why, but it appears that Wyatt let the house insurance lapse. His life insurance won’t even cover the rest of the mortgage let alone give Justin the finances he needs to support himself and Aaron. And since his studio was home-based, he doesn’t have any money coming in from the gallery anymore. They have to cancel his upcoming show. Justin even suggested having Aaron come home with Kevin and me for awhile, but I know that would break his heart. He refuses to take my money and frankly, even if he did I doubt I’d be able to help him rebuild his life. Kevin and I make enough to support one household, but not two. I asked him if he talked to you about it, but he won’t do that either. I can’t go back home not knowing what’s going to happen to him.”

“Oh that poor boy,” Joan cried. “He’s been through such a horrible experience; we all have. The last thing he needs is more trouble.”

“Thank you for coming to us,” Jack said. “We’ll make sure he’s taken care of.”

“Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Kinney. I was hoping you would say that. All I ask is that you wait until I leave before mentioning our conversation to him. He’s going to be so mad at me and I’d rather we said goodbye on good terms just incase he doesn’t forgive me for my interference.”

“Nonsense, he’ll forgive you. After all, you’re just looking out for him and his son. But don’t worry; we’ll wait until we’re back at Maggie’s tonight,” Joan assured her. “Our flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow afternoon and under the circumstances, I have every intention of making sure Justin and Aaron are on it.”

Dani smiled at the older couple, secure in the knowledge that Justin and Aaron would be taken care of. Even if Justin never spoke to her again, she wouldn’t regret her decision. He needed help and the Kinney’s were just the people to give it to him.

Justin was lying on his bed in the guest room with Aaron sound asleep beside him when he heard a soft knock at his door. He carefully climbed out of bed and went to the door, thankful that his son was a deep sleeper.

“Joan, is something wrong? I thought you and Jack went to bed,” Justin asked as he stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

“We wanted to give you some time with Aaron, but Jack and I would like to talk to you, if that’s okay,” Joan explained.

“Sure,” Justin agreed, curious as to what they could want. He followed Joan through the living room and out on the front porch where Jack was sitting in the rocker waiting for them.

“Justin, have a seat,” Jack began. “Your friend Dani came to us earlier today and told us of your predicament.”

Justin sighed, trying to hold back his anger. He should’ve known Dani wouldn’t keep her mouth shut. She’d given up way too quickly. “I wish she hadn’t done that. This is my problem and I’ll handle it.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Justin. We’re a family and that means that your problems are our problems,” Jack insisted. “Joan and I have been talking it over and we think you and Aaron should move in with us.”

“What?” Justin asked incredulously.

“Now before you go off on a tangent, just hear what I have to say. As you know, New York is not a bad place for an artist to live and at least you and Aaron will be surrounded by people who love you. It wouldn’t be permanent. Just until you have time to absorb things and decide what you want to do next. We have more than enough room in the house and we promise not to interfere in your life.”

“Jack, it’s really nice of you to offer, but I’m not sure that would be a good idea. Wyatt and I…” Justin’s voice trailed off tearfully as he realized that whatever his and Wyatt’s plans were didn’t matter anymore.

“Justin, I know what you and Wyatt had planned and I admire you both for standing strong and going after what you both wanted, but things are different now. Wyatt’s…gone now and you need to do what’s best for you and Aaron. I don’t think my son would object.”

“Justin,” Joan began, speaking up for the first time. “Just give it a try. If it’s that horrible living with us you can make other arrangements. We’ll even help you do it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that staying with you would be horrible. You both have always been wonderful to Wyatt and me. Your support meant the world to us. We just wanted to prove we could make it on our own, but you’re right. Things are different now and I can’t let my pride stand in the way of Aaron’s well being. I accept your offer.”

“Good boy, now why don’t you go try to get some rest? I’ll call the airlines and make reservations for you and Aaron.” Jack walked over towards the phone, but Justin stopped him from making the call.

“Jack, if it’s alright with you I’d like to stay here a few more days. I have a few things I need to take care of and I need to…well, I want to say goodbye. This is where our home was and where I feel closest to him,” Justin replied tearfully.

“Sure son, I understand. Would you like us to take Aaron back with us? Give you a few days to yourself?”

“Uh…why don’t we wait and ask Aaron that. He’s still so confused about Wyatt. I don’t want him upset by leaving here without me.”

“Okay, we’ll talk to him in the morning before I make the reservations.” Jack assured him.

Once Justin was back in his room he thought about the decision he made and couldn’t help feeling as if he was betraying Wyatt. “I’m sorry, babe. I know how much you wanted us to make it on our own, but I don’t see any other way. Everything’s just so screwed up right now. I have to think about Aaron right now and what he needs. Please forgive me,” Justin whispered in the darkened room before giving in to his tears and crying himself to sleep as his son slept soundly beside him.

As luck would have it, Aaron was excited to be flying to New York with his Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Brian. Justin felt guilty for his relief, but Aaron had been through so much and was still so confused over Wyatt’s disappearance. He was doing his best, but he knew the boy sensed his pain and didn’t want to scare him. Saying goodbye was harder than Justin thought, but he plastered a smile on his face and Joan promised that Aaron could call every night before bed. Once they were gone, Justin walked out into the back yard and stared at the woods in front of him, thinking about all he wanted to do in the next few days. He was scheduled to fly out on Thursday.

“Justin, are you alright?” Maggie asked quietly as she approached her young friend.

“I miss him so much Maggie. I don’t think the pain’s ever going to go away. And before you say it, I know that it will lesson in time. It’s just right now I don’t feel it. I feel like I have this huge hole in my heart that’s never going to be filled.”

“Yeah, I remember that feeling well. I actually thought about driving my car off the road when Harold passed. I just thought that if I went with him it wouldn’t hurt anymore. But then I thought of the children. They were grown, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t need their mother from time to time. Aaron needs you now. You’ll fine the strength to go on. At first it’ll be for him, but eventually it’ll be for you, too.” Maggie placed a comforting hand on Justin’s shoulder. “I think you made a good choice to go to New York. Jack and Joan are good people. They’ll help you through this and having you and Aaron will help them through it too. I hope I never have to experience the pain of losing a child.”

“I know; I can’t even imagine how hard this is for them. Maybe having Aaron and I close by will be good for them. I just hope that I’m not making a mistake by moving in with them. Maybe taking a small loan from them and getting us an apartment would be better,” Justin said, voicing some of his concerns.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because Brian is staying with them.”

“So? What difference would that make? You and Brian were always close,” Maggie pointed out.

“That was before I let his brother die,” Justin said in a soft voice.

Maggie gasped in horror. “Justin, I’m sure Brian doesn’t feel that way.”

“Yes he does. I saw it in his eyes every time he bothered to look at me, which was hardly ever. Did you notice that he hardly spoke to me the whole time he was here?”

“I’m sure it’s not what you’re thinking. Everyone handles grief in their own way. He just lost his brother. He’s probably mad at the world right now. Give him time. You’ll see,” Maggie assured him.

“I hope you’re right,” Justin whispered, but some how he didn’t think she was.


End of part 3
08/27/05

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