Something To Prove

Chapter 2

The next time Justin woke up, he wasn’t disoriented. He wished he was, though because this time there was an overwhelming sense of pain and loss that was causing his chest to tighten and his breathing to become erratic. Wyatt was gone. Of everything that could be going through his mind at that moment, those three little words are all he seemed to be able to focus on. What happened next? What was the point of going on when the man he loved more than anything in the world was gone, leaving him behind to pick up the pieces. He should’ve stayed in the house. He should’ve braved the smoke and the flames and joined his lover in his death bed, signifying his eternal love by following Wyatt to his death. Those thoughts immediately caused a wave of guilt to wash over him. Aaron. He couldn’t stay with Wyatt because he had a son who loved him and counted on him for protection. He put his son first and got him to safety. Wyatt wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Reaching for the call bell that was wrapped around the railing on his bed, he hit the button twice for good measure and waited impatiently until one of the nurses came running in.

“Mr. Taylor, is something wrong?”

“I need to see my son. Where is he? The doctor said that he was with Maggie. Are they here?” Justin was suddenly frantic. He couldn’t think about anything else except seeing Aaron and reassuring himself that he was okay. He needed to know that he still had his son even though he lost everything else that was precious to him in the blink of an eye.

“No, the poor boy was exhausted after his ordeal. Mrs. Freeman took him home to rest. She left her number here. Would you like me to call her for you?” the nurse offered, her face a sheet of sympathy.

“Yes, please…I need to see my son,” Justin replied weakly.

“Okay, I’ll do that right now. I’m also going to page the doctor and let him know you’re awake.”

Justin watched the nurse walk out of the room before breaking down and allowing himself to cry. What started out as a soft shedding of tears eventually turned into huge sobs of anger and despair. He cried for the life that was lost and for the little boy who probably didn’t even realize that his Papa was gone, but most of all he cried for the future that once looked so bright and now was just a dark hole of loneliness. As his sobs began to subside he heard the door open and looked up to see the doctor entering.

“Justin, I’m glad to see you’re awake again. How’re you feeling?”

“Like I’m stuck in the middle of a nightmare and can’t wake up. When can I get out of here? I have to get home and…” Justin’s voice trailed off as he realized that he didn’t have a home to go home to.

“Nancy’s calling your friend Maggie now. She assured me that when you’re released you would be staying with her. I just want to run a few more tests and then I’ll discharge you provided that you take it easy for a few days.”

Justin nodded his head and waited while the doctor listened to his heart and lungs. His head still felt a little woozy but other than that and a scratchy throat, he felt physically fine. It was his emotional state that was dying a slow death, but there was nothing anyone could do about that. Not unless they could turn back the clock.

“Okay, everything sounds good under the circumstances. I’ll send someone in to take some blood and run those tests. If everything works out, you should be out of here in a couple of hours.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Justin replied softly.

A short time later his door opened again, only this time it was Maggie walking through the door with Aaron in her arms.

“Daddy!” Aaron shrieked as he squirmed out of Maggie’s grasp and ran towards his father. “I was so scared and I was crying for you but you didn’t hear me.”

Justin opened his arms wide and gathered up his son, fighting back his tears of relief at seeing with his own eyes that Aaron was okay. “I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. Where’s Papa? Is he here with you?” Aaron asked as he innocently looked around the room.

Justin’s heart broke at his son’s questions. How do you explain to a three year old that his Papa wasn’t coming back? “No baby, Papa’s not here. He had to go away.”

“Oh, like that time he had to go away for work? When’s he coming back? I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

Maggie saw the toll Aaron was taking on Justin and decided to step in and help him. “Aaron, why don’t you come with me? We’ll go find that nice lady that you were playing with earlier. Maybe she’ll finish telling you that story while I talk to your daddy.”

Justin silently thanked Maggie and then watched the two of them disappear before he once again gave in to the tears. Hearing his son asking about Wyatt was harder than he thought it would be. Maggie was only gone a few moments before reappearing alone. “One of the volunteers took an instant liking to Aaron when we were here earlier. She offered to keep an eye on him so we could talk. How’re you doing dear?”

“Oh Maggie, what am I going to do? Wyatt’s gone. How am I going to go on without him?” Justin cried as he felt Maggie take him in her arms.

“I don’t know how, sweetie, but you will. Trust me; I went through the same thing when my Harold left this world. I won’t tell you it’s easy, but you do what you have to do. You have a beautiful little boy that needs you now more than ever,” Maggie replied, offering as much comfort as she could. “I’ve already prepared one of the guest rooms for you and Aaron. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to.”

“Thank you Maggie. I don’t know what Aaron and I would do if we didn’t have you.”

“Nonsense, you’re a lot stronger than you think. You’d figure out something. Now, I guess you have to call Wyatt’s parents, huh?”

“Oh God, I never even thought about them,” Justin groaned. “How am I supposed to call them and tell them that their son is…gone.”

“It’s okay, you can call them when we get back to my place and I’ll be right there if you need me,” Maggie assured him. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

Justin tried to smile at the sweet woman, but failed miserably. As everything started sinking in, it all became too much and Justin wished he could slip back into unconsciousness and not have to deal with it all.

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After being given the all clear from the doctor, Aaron, Maggie, and Justin left the hospital and took a cab back to Maggie’s place. As they drove past the charred remains of his home, Justin closed his eyes and willed himself not to think about what he’d lost there. Once they were inside, Justin sat down on the couch and stared at the phone, trying to find the right words to tell Jack and Joan that Wyatt was gone. He knew it was ridiculous. There were no right words to tell someone that kind of news, but he needed to try to soften the blow as much as he could. He waited until Maggie laid Aaron down for a nap before reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing the phone. A part of him was hoping that no one would answer, giving him a little more time to come to grips with the loss before sharing the devastating news with them, but luck wasn’t on his side. Jack answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi Jack, its Justin.”

“Justin, Joanie and I were just talking about you boys. We were thinking about taking a trip up to see that grandson of ours. How’s everyone doing?” Jack asked cheerfully.

“Well…I…um…that’s why I’m calling Jack. I don’t know…how to tell you this. There was a fire last night…we were all sleeping. Wyatt was in bed, but Aaron and I were…downstairs…on the couch. I got Aaron out…but the fire. It was out of control.” Justin was crying now, struggling hard to keep from completely breaking down while he finished telling the horrible details. “I wanted to go back in…but they wouldn’t let me…I tried, Jack…I really tried. Wyatt’s gone.”

“He’s…gone? You mean…oh dear God,” Jack gasped as realization set in. “What about you and Aaron? Are you both okay?”

“Aaron's fine. He’s asleep right now, but he’s fine,” Justin assured him.

“What about you?”

“Me? I’m…I’m okay. Jack, you’ve got to know that I tried my best to get back inside. They were holding…me back. If only I could’ve…”

“Justin, listen to me,” Jack said sternly. “I know how much you love my son. This is not your fault. Understand?”

“But if I…if Aaron and I were still upstairs, maybe I could’ve…”

“No, if you were still upstairs all three of you would be gone right now,” Jack replied, struggling with the urge to fall apart. His heart was breaking over the loss of his son, but he knew he had to stay strong. Joanie was going to need him. “You saved your son and got him out of the house. That’s what Wyatt would’ve wanted. He loved you both very much.”

Hearing Jack offering his comfort, knowing that the man didn’t blame him even though he blamed himself, caused Justin to start sobbing again and he didn’t object when he felt Maggie taking the phone from him.

“Mr. Kinney? It’s Maggie. I met you and your wife on your last trip up. Justin and Aaron are staying here with me until Justin works out what he plans to do next. Why don’t I give you my address and phone number so you can go be with your wife? I think Justin’s needs to lay down for awhile.”

“Yeah, of course. How is he really Maggie?” Jack asked as he scrounged around for something to write with.

“Broken. I imagine he’s going to need a lot of help in the future. I know his own family won’t be there for him. I hope you plan to be.”

Jack wasn’t surprised by the protectiveness he heard in Maggie’s voice. He knew the minute he met the woman that she didn’t hold back what she was feeling. “We are his family, Maggie. Nothing’s going to change that. Take care of him and we’ll be there sometime tomorrow.”

“Good, I have plenty of room in this big old house. Just come right here from the airport. And Mr. Kinney?”

“Please, call me Jack,” Jack replied.

“Jack, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Maggie. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Maggie hung up the phone and then took Justin in her arms, holding on to him while he cried, while fighting back her own tears.

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Jack hung up the phone and dropped down in the nearest chair trying to comprehend what he just learned. Luckily Joan wasn’t home at the moment. She had gone to the club with some of her lady friends and wouldn’t be home for a couple more hours. She had a couple more hours until her world was turned upside down. As Jack sat there in the silence, he thought back to when his boys were small. Brian and Wyatt were such handfuls, always getting into trouble together and turning on the charm when they got caught. They were smart and beautiful and Jack couldn’t have been more proud of them if he tried. He couldn’t believe that Wyatt was gone. It just didn’t seem possible that someone so full of life could just disappear. Unable to hold back any longer, Jack gave in to his sorrow and cried quietly for his son and the family he left behind. He never heard the front door open and jumped when he looked up and saw Brian standing before him.

“Dad? What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” Brian asked in concern. His father was still recovering from a mild heart attack. The doctors claim it was more like a warning than an actual attack, but since then Brian had sublet his loft and moved back in to his childhood home to help his mother around the house until the older man could resume normal activities.

“Brian…I didn’t hear you come in,” Jack said as he wiped his eyes and stood up, coming face to face with his son.

“Obviously, now what’s wrong? Is it your heart? Should we go to the hospital?”

“No Brian, it’s nothing like that. I…just…maybe you should sit down,” Jack said as he tried to find the words that needed to be said. “There’s something that I have to tell you. It’s about your brother.”

“I’d rather stand,” Brian replied quietly as he tried to stop the strange sense of fear that was creeping into his heart. “What’s wrong with Wyatt? I just talked to him yesterday and he was fine.”

Jack took a deep breath before continuing. “There was a fire last night. Justin and Aaron got out of the house…but your brother didn’t.”

“What?” Brian cried as the room start spinning around him. He and Wyatt hadn’t seen that much of each other since he moved to Vermont, but they talked on the phone about once a week and were still rather close. “That’s not…poss…possible. There’s got to be some kind of mistake.”

“I wish there was, son. I just got off the phone with Justin. He’s beside himself with grief,” Jack whispered. He felt as if saying it out loud was making it more real somehow. He looked at Brian and saw the tears shining in his eyes. “I’m going to call the airline now before your mother gets home and make reservations for the three us for first thing in the morning. Justin and Aaron need us.”

If Brian didn’t know any better, he’d swear his father was talking about someone else. He stood tall and spoke calmly and rationally, as if he didn’t just learn that his youngest son was dead. But Brian did know better and he saw the pain and misery that was being held back in his dark brown eyes. Wyatt was only twenty nine for fuck’s sake. How could he be…gone? “I’m going to…uh…go make some calls. I have appointments that need to be cancelled.”

“You do that, son. Your mother’s going to be home in a couple of hours and I think she’s going to need both of us right now,” Jack replied.

“Yeah…I’ll…uh…I’ll be back down in a little while.”

Brian walked away and headed towards the stairs, taking the steps two at a time in an effort to get away. He needed to be alone. He needed to release his grief and didn’t want to do it in front of his father. Jack had enough to deal with. Once he got to his room, he closed the door and slid down the back of it, giving in to his pain. As soon as the tears began, Brian wondered if he’d ever be able to stop them. He couldn’t believe that his brother was gone. They’d spent their whole lives together and were best friends. Even though the Wyatt’s move put some distance between them, it was a comfort to know that he was just a phone call away. What would he do now? Who would he call when things got rough and he needed someone to lean on? And what about Aaron? His nephew deserved to have the best the world had to offer. What kind of God would take away a boy’s father like that?

As memories flashed through Brian’s mind, like a movie reel of his past, his sobs continued until he finally ended up falling asleep from exhaustion right there on the floor.

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Justin paced the living room like a caged animal, wanting to make his escape but having no where to go. It was two in the morning and both Aaron and Maggie were sound asleep, but Justin wasn’t so lucky. Every time he closed his eyes, visions of Wyatt invaded his mind, causing the tears to start all over again. How many tears could one man shed? He looked out the window and his eyes were drawn down the road to where, up until twenty four hours earlier, Justin thought he’d live happily ever after. What a joke that was. He dreaded the upcoming arrival of Wyatt’s family. How could he look them in the eyes, knowing that he wasn’t able to save their son? And Brian, the bond between the brothers was stronger than anyone could ever imagine. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through the next few days. Hell, the rest of his life for that matter. He glanced over at the clock again and even though it was late, he knew there was someone out there that could help him through the dark hours of the night. He reached for the phone and dialed the number he knew by heart, trying to prepare himself for yet another explanation.

“Hello?”

“Hey Dani, sorry to call so late,” Justin said quietly.

“Justin? What’s wrong? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” Dani was instantly awake and began to panic. She knew Justin would never call her in the middle of the night unless it was important. “What happened?”

The tears started once again as Justin whispered the words that he needed to say. “Wyatt’s gone, Dan…there was a fire…and…I couldn’t…”

“Oh Justin,” Dani cried as her own tears started to fall. “I’m so sorry honey. How’re you? And Aaron? Are you two okay?”

“Yeah…yeah…we’re fine, but Aaron keeps asking for his Papa…and I don’t know what to tell him. How do I tell him that he’s…he’s never coming home? God Dani, it hurts so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. I keep wishing I was with him, but then I feel guilty because of Aaron. Why did this have to happen? There are millions of people out there, why did God have to take Wyatt?”

“I don’t know, honey. I can’t answer that. Bad things happen to good people all the time and no one knows why,” Dani replied softly through her tears. “But you’re strong, Justin. You’ll get through this, I promise.”

“I don’t want to get through this. I don’t want to have to face every day without him, Dan. I loved him…so much. He was my everything.”

Dani sat on the phone with Justin for the next two hours and let him cry out his pain and anger, while she secretly died a little inside. Wyatt was one of the best things that ever happened to Justin. He survived so much growing up in the Taylor home and she was thrilled when he finally found someone that made him truly happy. It was one of the reasons she offered to have a child for them. She wanted more than anything to make their lives complete. Although now it seemed that having Aaron was going to be a godsend. Justin was going to need a reason to get out of bed in the morning and she knew his love for his son would do just that. When she could hear the unmistakable sound of exhaustion in Justin’s voice, she knew that it was time for her to say good night so that he could get some sleep. Something that she knew she would not be doing in the foreseeable future.

“Honey, why don’t you lie down and get some rest. I’m going to go online and book our flights. Kevin and I will be there as soon as we can,” Dani assured him.

“No Dani, you don’t have to do that. You have your own life,” Justin insisted without much conviction. Thinking about seeing his friend started his tears up again.

“Justin Taylor, you’re my best friend. There’s no way I’d ever let you go through this alone. Now try to get some sleep and I’ll call you later and let you know when we’ll be there,” Dani told him, leaving no room for argument. “And Justin, I love you.”

“I love you, too.

After hanging up the phone, Justin lay back on the couch and immediately drifted off to sleep from sheer exhaustion, somewhat comforted to know that Dani would be there soon.


End of part 2
08/18/05

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