Now That You're Here
Chapter 30
It was four weeks before Thanksgiving and Justin couldn’t help the somber mood
that was starting to settle over him. Despite the ease in which he had fit in
when he moved to Arizona, the fact remained that he’d lost his parents earlier
that year and was not looking forward to his first real holiday without them.
His mother always loved the Thanksgiving and Christmas season. It was like one
big holiday to her. It started on Thanksgiving Day, when they put up the
Christmas tree in the morning so that it was ready for everyone to enjoy when
they came by for dinner that night. From there, the following weeks just became
more festive. His mother shopped and baked and sang Christmas songs constantly
right up until December 25th when the last present was opened and the last drop
of eggnog was gone. She had this way of making those around her relish in the
season, too. Scrooge wouldn’t have stood a chance around her.
And now she was gone, along with his dad, and the thought of celebrating just
made Justin feel sick with longing. But despite his desire to bury himself in
school, work, and his art until it was all over, he managed to put a fake smile
on his face every time someone mentioned the holidays. No one knew what the
holidays meant to the Taylor family so no one had any reason to notice if Justin
was just a little bit quieter than usual. No one except for Jason, who had spent
countless hours sitting at Justin’s house eating Christmas cookies each year.
Justin should’ve known Jason would pick up on his mood, even with the miles
between them.
“How are you holding up?” Jason asked during one of their many phone calls.
“I’m okay, I guess. It’s just getting hard, you know? Most of the time I can
think about them and be alright, but when I think about Thanksgiving…and not
having them here…I just…” his voice trailed off as he tried to pull in his
emotions.
“Oh Jus, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? I hate being so far away,”
Jason replied. “Maybe I can swing another plane ticket. I mean, who really needs
a savings account anyway?”
“Jas,” Justin chuckled. “It’s okay. I’ll be alright and you’re just a phone call
away if I need you, right?”
“You got it. Day or night, if you need to talk all you have to do is pick up the
phone,” Jason assured him.
“Thanks. So, how are things going with Zac?” Justin asked, effectively changing
the subject.
“Um…things are good, I guess. It sucks that we don’t live in the same time zone,
but we’re getting to know each other really well. We talk and text every day.
Neither of us can wait until I fly out for winter break. Chris and Zander are
still cool about that, right?”
“I told you before; you’re part of the family now. Their exact words were that
you’re welcome here anytime. You just have to let us know when you’re coming so
that someone can be home when you get here,” Justin laughed. “And you really
don’t have to do that because we keep a spare key hidden in the backyard.”
“Cool. Um, listen. I’ve got something that I wanted to talk to you about, but I
want you to be honest with me and tell me how you really feel about it. If you
don’t like the idea, then I’ll just forget it. I promise you won’t hurt my
feelings.”
“Jas, what’s up?”
“I…uh…I’ve been accepted at Arizona State. You mentioned that you were thinking
of going there and I thought it might be cool if we ended up at the same school.
I mean, it’s not like I was planning on staying here in Pittsburgh. I’ve applied
to UCLA, USC, and the University of Texas, too. I guess I just thought that
since Arizona is a great school and you’d be there…I mean, if you don’t want me
to go, I won’t go.”
“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t I want you to go?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought that maybe you’d think I was trying invade your
territory or something.”
“Invade my territory?”
“Well, you were happy to get out of Pittsburgh and get away from your old life
and I know that we’ve stayed in touch but I’m technically part of that old life
and if I was around more, maybe…”
“Don’t you dare say another word,” Justin insisted, stopping Jason mid-sentence.
“I wanted to get away from the town that I grew up in so I didn’t have the
constant reminder that my childhood home was gone and my parents were dead. I
wanted a chance to start over somewhere completely different, but I never
intended to turn my back on my childhood. I have Brian and Chris and Zander, and
all the friends that I’ve made since moving out here, but you are my oldest and
closest friend. We’ve known each other since we were still in diapers. You
understand me like no one else can because you were there while I became me.
Despite missing my parents, I am so happy with my life right now, but having you
here would make it perfect.”
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t ask me that again.”
“Okay, cool, because I’m so excited.”
“I can’t believe you’re going to be moving out here,” Justin said, finally
letting the reality of the situation sink in. “That’s awesome. What does Zac
have to say about it?”
Jason sighed. “I don’t know. I haven’t told him yet. In fact, at this point we
haven’t even talked about what happens after graduation. Do you know if he’s
planning on going away to school?”
“Actually he’s already been accepted AZ State, too. It’s where his parents met
so they’ve been telling him to go there since he was little. We were just
talking about it the other day. We’re going to try to get housing at the same
place, assuming that both Brian and I get in. We’ve been procrastinating with
our applications, but we’ve agreed that wherever we go, we’re going together.”
“I’m sure you guys won’t have any trouble getting in,” Jason said. “I can’t
wait. When I fly out after Christmas, my parents are coming with me so my mom
can check out where her little boy is going to be living next year. They’ve
already booked their flight and hotel. They’re only staying two days, but they
want to see you while they’re there.”
“Of course. I can’t wait to see them,” Justin exclaimed. “I’ll let Chris and
Zander know. I’m sure they’ll want to have them over for dinner. When are you
flying in again?”
“We’re all flying in on Monday the 27th. They’re leaving on the 29th but I’m
staying until January 3rd. Arizona’s campus is open for tours on that Tuesday.”
“You’re still going to stay here for the week, right? You’re not going to stay
with them at the hotel?”
“Uh, hello? Of course I’m staying with you. Why would I want to stay at a hotel
with my parents?” Jason asked rhetorically.
Justin laughed as he glanced at the clock. “Just checking. Listen, I’ve got to
get going. I was supposed to be at the river a half hour ago.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a bunch of homework that I’ve been ignoring since I got home,
but apparently it’s not going to do itself. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, later.”
Justin stuffed his phone in his pocket and grabbed his jacket before heading
downstairs. He was looking forward to hanging out at the river with everyone. It
had been a tough week for him and he was so happy that the following day was
Friday. He really needed the two day break that the weekend offered. Zan was
working late with Brian, trying to reset a few of the sections to make way for a
holiday display, so Justin went to find Chris to let him know he was leaving. He
walked towards their bedroom, but stopped short when he heard Chris on the
phone.
“I know, but I don’t think I can make it….listen, I told you before that I don’t
have a lot of free time…because I’m not going to do anything to make Zander
suspicious…well he usually travels with me whenever I go anywhere, so telling
him I have to go out of town won’t help. Look, Ryan, I warned you that this
wasn’t going to be easy. I need you to back off a bit…I want to see you, but I
don’t think this weekend is going to work…I’ll call you on Saturday if I can
break away for a few hours, alright?”
Justin stood there stunned while Chris’s words penetrated his mind. Chris was
having an affair? He was cheating on Zan? How could that even be possible? They
were so close, so much in love. He felt dizzy as he stumbled back to the living
room and tried to think about what he should do. Did he have a right to confront
Chris on what he had heard? Did he have an obligation to tell Zan, his cousin,
what was going on? Should he tell Brian so that the two of them could figure out
what to do next? Or should he just pretend that nothing had happened? Pretend
that he didn’t overhear a conversation that could potentially change all their
lives?
“Hey, Justin, I thought you were going out tonight?” Chris said as he walked
into the living room.
Justin stared at him for a moment, looking for signs of regret. He saw none.
“I…um…I’m heading out now. I’ll…uh…see you later.”
Chris gave him a confused look. “Is everything alright? You look a little pale.”
“Pale? Me? Oh, um…no. I’m fine. I’m just tired. It’s been a long week. You know,
teachers working us extra hard before our holiday break. I’m…uh…going to go.”
“Alright, be safe.”
“Yeah…I will.”
Justin made it to the car and got in, feeling somewhat disconnected. He needed
to talk to Brian. Nothing was going to make sense until he talked to Brian.
Chris watched Justin leave and then took a deep breath, yet it didn’t help ease
the fear that had washed over him when he heard the younger man’s footsteps down
the hall. He’d been on the phone with Ryan, which he knew was stupid to do in
the house, when he heard the sound of someone walking away. He quickly said
goodbye and then went to find Justin, praying that the younger blond hadn’t
heard his conversation. Unfortunately, he had a bad feeling that he’d been found
out. He didn’t want to come right out and ask for fear of opening a can of worms
that hadn’t been opened, but Justin’s nervousness and his stammering were clear
signs that something was bothering him. Considering the circumstances, he had a
feeling he knew exactly what that was.
“Fuck!” he exclaimed to the empty room.
How stupid could he have been to call Ryan while he was at home? Hell, how
stupid was he to start something up with the man to begin with. He loved Zan…there
was no question about that. He would do anything for his partner and never
wanted to hurt him, but the pull from Ryan had been so strong, and coming right
on the heels of the accident when Chris had been feeling extremely vulnerable
and scared, left him weak. It was meant to be a one time thing, not that that
made it any better, but the connection he and Ryan had grew rapidly, and before
Chris knew it, a full blown affair had begun. Now he was in way too deep and
didn’t know how to get out of it. There was never any question of having to
choose between the two men. There was no way Chris would ever choose Ryan over
Zan. Yet he couldn’t seem to bring himself to cut ties with Ryan.
Dropping down on the couch, Chris closed his eyes and thought about his new
lover. Ryan was a freelance photographer that did a lot of work at the newspaper
where Chris worked part time. He was close to Chris’s age, just one year younger
and was stunning to look at. He matched Chris’s six foot frame, with just a
touch more muscle. He had dark black hair, deep brown eyes, and dimples that
made any man, or woman, want to run their tongue along them. The physical
attraction between them had been instant, but that never worried Chris. He’d had
attractions to men before and never even considered acting on them. No, it had
been his easy personality and overwhelming charm that had gotten Chris into
trouble.
They’d been flirting with each other for more than six months when the accident
happened. Obviously everyone at the Sierra Vista Tribune had heard about the
boys’ accident. It had been in the paper. Ryan had heard about the accident on
his scanner and had been at the scene to take pictures, but he had no idea that
Brian and Justin were the victims. When he found out, he had shown up at the
hospital to see how the boys were doing. It had been one of those times when
Chris was alone and needed someone to comfort him. He allowed Ryan to be that
person. Being held in Ryan’s arms had felt really good and Chris made the
mistake of sharing his feelings with the man. They agreed that nothing could or
would ever happen between them despite their mutual attraction because of Zander
and the boys. At the time, they both meant what they promised one another. It
wasn’t until the night before Brian’s release when things took an unexpected
turn. Ryan had stopped by the hospital to see how Chris was doing, but he saw
Zander in the parking garage and decided not to go inside. Instead, he sent
Chris a text and asked him to meet him at the bar across the street for a drink
when he left. He said that they needed to talk.
And they did talk. They talked for over an hour about how they needed to keep
things between them completely platonic, yet all the while their hands kept
finding each other with casual touches to the arms, hands, and thighs. When Ryan
walked Chris to his car, neither one of them could’ve stopped the fiery kiss
that they shared, or the promise that they would get together the following day
to talk further. When Chris walked in the door that night and Zander greeted him
like a long lost soldier, coming home from war, the guilt washed over him so
hard that his knees almost buckled. Zander assumed that it was the emotions of
the week that had Chris in such a state and did what he did best. He took charge
and pampered Chris, showering him with affection and inevitably causing even
more guilt. He vowed to call Ryan the next morning and call the whole thing off.
Only it wasn’t that easy and now more than six weeks had passed and Chris was
drowning in guilt and remorse, constantly struggling to make the move he knew he
had to make. He needed to find the strength to say goodbye to Ryan before Zan
found out and he lost the love of his life.
Justin was sitting among his friends at the river but his thoughts were a
million miles away. He couldn’t seem to put the conversation he’d overheard out
of his mind. He’d gotten a text from Brian, so he knew that his boyfriend was on
the way, and he couldn’t stop staring towards the parking lot anxiously.
“Hey, Jus, are you okay? You seem a million miles away,” Steve said as he sat
down alongside Justin.
“Um…yeah. I just have something on my mind and I need to talk to Brian about
it,” Justin replied. “He should be here any minute.”
Just then headlights appeared in the distance, announcing Brian’s arrival. “I’ve
got to go talk to him. Can you make sure everyone stays away for a few?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
Justin jogged over and met up with Brian at the hood of the jeep. “I need to
talk to you.”
“Don’t I even get a proper hello first?” Brian teased as he pulled Justin close
and found his mouth, yet when he tried to deepen the kiss, Justin pulled away.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I think your brother is having an affair,” Justin blurted out.
“What? No way. That’s not possible,” Brian insisted as he searched Justin’s face
for any signs of teasing. The seriousness he saw scared him. “What makes you
think that?”
“I overheard him on the phone before I left the house with some guy named Ryan.
Does that name sound familiar to you?”
“Yeah, I think he’s one of the photographers at the paper. Maybe they’re working
on a story together or something,” Brian replied.
“I don’t think so. I heard him say that he wanted to see him too and that he
couldn’t do anything to make Zander suspicious and he said he warned him that it
wouldn’t be easy. He told him that he’d call him on Saturday if he could break
away for a few hours. Bri, what are we going to do?”
Brian wished he had the answers. “I don’t know. Shit, what the fuck is wrong
with him? How could he do this to Zan?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think I can keep something like this from Zander. I
mean, you guys have been great to me and all, but Zan’s my family. The only real
family I have left. I can’t just look the other way while his partner carries on
an affair behind his back,” Justin declared tearfully.
“I know,” Brian said as he took Justin in his arms. “Shhh, it’s okay. We’ll
figure something out. Let’s just keep this to ourselves for a couple of days
until we’ve had time to think on it and decide what to do. Maybe we should go to
Chris before saying anything to Zan. There could be a logical explanation for
this. I can’t think of one right now, but maybe Chris has one and we don’t have
to destroy Zan’s life.”
“Oh God, I just can’t believe this. What’s going to happen if Chris really is
having an affair? What if Chris is in love with the guy and leaves Zan? Or if
Zan finds out and can’t forgive Chris? Zander’s going to be devastated.”
“Hey, just take a deep breath and relax. It’s all going to be okay. I promise,”
Brian assured him, hoping he could end up keeping his promise. “Let’s just run
over and say goodbye to the guys and then get out of here. I think we could use
a little alone time.”
“Alright,” Justin agreed, trying to take comfort in Brian’s presence. For the
first time since they had gotten together, it wasn’t working.
*****
Justin was tossing and turning, trying so hard to find a comfortable position so
that he could fall asleep, but it just wasn’t happening. He couldn’t stop his
mind from dwelling on the situation with Chris and Zander and it was making him
very restless. He looked over at the clock for the hundredth time and sighed
when he saw that it was almost two in the morning. He’d never make it through
school without sleep. Making a decision based on what he needed and not on what
was right, he climbed out of bed and went to Brian’s room. He smiled as he
stared down at Brian, his face a vision of beauty in slumber. He stripped off
his shorts before pulling back the blankets and climbing in, taking Brian in his
arms. Brian moaned at the contact and slowly opened his eyes.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he whispered, his voice roughened by sleep.
“I need you,” Justin whispered as he rubbed his naked body against Brian. “I’m
so tired and I can’t fall asleep. I need you to help me forget everything that’s
going on around us.”
Brian was shocked by Justin’s admission. They’d been very careful, for the most
part, to follow the rules that had been laid down after the accident, but even
their brief and mostly innocent slips had been Brian’s urging. Justin was always
the voice of reason. “Jus, are you crazy? We can’t do this.”
“Why not? Because Chris said so? Since when is he the poster boy for proper
behavior?” Justin spat in anger. “Come on, Brian. Please? I really need you.”
“But…” Anything else Brian had been about to say was cut off as Justin covered
his mouth and forced his tongue inside. All rational thought left as soon as
Brian’s senses were filled with Justin’s taste. He maneuvered them so that
Justin was beneath him and attacked his mouth as his hand moved down the blond’s
perfect body until he had a hold of his hard cock. He swallowed Justin’s moan as
he fondled his cock and then moved his hand lower to massage Justin’s balls. He
pulled back and looked down at Justin, his lungs fighting for breath as his mind
overloaded with desire. “God, you are so beautiful.”
Justin responded by reaching up and suckling Brian’s neck with just enough
pressure to be a turn on without leaving a mark. His hand trailed down Brian’s
back, making its way down to his firm round ass. He pulled Brian closer,
enjoying the weight of his body. Without really giving it much thought, Justin
somehow found the strength to grab Brian and flip him over, reversing their
positions.
“Wow, getting a little forceful, aren’t we?” Brian teased.
“Just lie back. I need to taste you,” Justin purred as he kissed Brian soundly
and then moved back to his neck. He didn’t waste much time there, though. He
started kissing and nibbling his way down Brian’s body, feeling empowered by the
moaning and groaning that Brian was trying to keep quiet. He sucked on each
nipple and then slowly drew his tongue down from the center of Brian’s chest,
down his stomach, stopping just centimeters away from his leaking cock. He
pulled back slightly and took in the sweet scent of Brian, driving his boyfriend
insane. He let his tongue dart out and licked away the bubble of pre-come that
had escaped and then redirected his mouth to the crease between Brian’s pelvis
and thigh, sending a jolt right through Brian’s entire body.
“Jus, please…” Brian moaned in ecstasy.
“Patience, my sweet,” Justin rasped as he placed small kisses down one thigh and
up the other. Again, he bypassed Brian’s cock and instead put out his tongue,
lapping at Brian’s full balls. The sounds coming from Brian were giving Justin a
confidence he’d never felt before. He brought up one hand and sucked on a
finger, wetting the digit before finding Brian’s hole and massaging it gently.
Brian bucked his hips and Justin had to reach out with his other hand to steady
him. He could feel Brian’s whole body shaking with desire and wanted to continue
tormenting him, but his own body was beginning to betray him, bringing him to
the very edge of climax without any kind of reciprocal touch from Brian.
Leaving his finger in place to continue massaging Brian’s hole, Justin brought
his other hand to his own cock while he took Brian’s cock deep in his throat. It
didn’t take long before Brian unloaded his seed down Justin’s throat, causing
Justin to find his release by his own hand moments later.
As the euphoria of his orgasm receded, Brian realized that Justin had moved up
and lay down alongside him, resting his head on Brian’s chest. He rolled on his
side and wrapped his arms around Justin, kissing him deeply. He could still
detect the taste of himself in Justin’s mouth. He finally pulled back and looked
into Justin’s eyes. “That was incredible. You can wake me up anytime.”
“Thanks for the permission,” Justin laughed. “I don’t know what came over me. I
surprised myself with the way I took charge.”
“It was hot,” Brian whispered as he nibbled Justin’s ear. “You know, I can’t
wait for the day when I can sink inside you and feel you grip me from the inside
out.”
“Oh God,” Justin breathed. “Don’t say stuff like that now. We agreed that when
we finally did…that…that we would get a hotel room somewhere so that we can
enjoy ourselves in a nice comfortable bed where we don’t have to fear being
caught or feeling guilty.”
“You know, it’s so cute that you can come in here and take charge, sucking my
dick, licking my balls, and playing with my hole yet you can’t even talk about
fucking.”
Justin blushed in the darkness. “Don’t make fun of me.”
“But it’s so much fun,” Brian replied with a smile. “Do you think you can fall
asleep now?”
“I think I’m sufficiently worn out now,” Justin said as he moved to get up.
“No, stay here,” Brian said as he tightened his grip. “They never come upstairs
in the morning, and if they do, we’ll worry about an explanation later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” Justin reached up and kissed Brian again, softly this time, before
turning over, leaving Brian to curl up behind him. Once they were settled,
Justin linked one of his hands with Brian’s. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
End of part 30
10/21/10