Love Will Find a Way

Chapter 5

Brian unlocked the door to his loft quickly and gently shoved Justin inside. He couldn't believe that he actually thought he would be able to behave himself while Justin was there. The minute he saw the man across the crowded airport he grew hard. Since then he only managed to grow harder. He closed the door, locking it behind him, and threw Justin up against the back of it, his mouth finding Justin's in a passionate kiss. They began undressing each other, never breaking the kiss, until they both stood there completely naked. Brian pulled away and stepped back, staring at the sight in front of him. He couldn't believe how much he had missed Justin in their time apart. His mind betrayed him and drifted back to the night he watched Justin walk away and he was overcome with a black feeling he couldn't quite name.

Justin saw the change in Brian and knew he was thinking of unhappier times. He began to feel self-conscious, knowing that Brian was trying to put his walls back up, but made the decision not to let that happen. "Brian, I need you."

"Justin, I don't think…" Brian tried to reply, but his brain wasn't working properly.

"Don't think…just feel." Justin whispered as he reached out and took Brian's leaking cock in his hand.

"Ahh…Justin…"

"Do you want me, Brian?"

"Justin,"

"Do you want me to take your cock in my mouth?"

"I…uh…"

"Do you want to shoot your load down my throat?"

"Yes!"

"You know what I want?"

"What…"

"I want to feel you inside of me. I want you to bury yourself in my tight hole and fuck me into the mattress. I want you to make me scream your name in an earth shattering orgasm that only you can give me. Do you think you can do that?" Justin didn't wait for a response, instead taking the man in a deep, passionate kiss. He could feel Brian beginning to give in to him.

Brian pulled back once again and looked Justin directly in the eyes as he spoke. "Justin, you know that we…"

"I know, Brian. It's okay. We can worry about the rest later. I need you now, and I think you need me to." Justin said, refusing to let Brian say that there was nothing between them. He knew that their lives were more complicated than ever before, but he couldn't worry about that now. Ever since he saw Brian when he walked through the airport, he knew that he had to have him, even if it was only for one night.

Brian lost any willpower he managed to muster. He took Justin by the hand and led him into his bedroom. The same bedroom where he had spent many lonely nights jerking off to the memories he had of their time together in Pittsburgh. Once inside, he pushed Justin down on the bed, following him down to resume their connection. They shared another passionate kiss, before Justin turned the tables and Brian ended up on his back. Before he had a chance to respond, Justin began licking his way down Brian's body, stopping to pay extra attention to each nipple as he went. When Justin reached Brian's aching member and gave it a soft kiss on the tip, Brian's body jerked in response.

"Justin," He moaned in pleasure.

"Shhh…just lay back and enjoy, Brian. I need to taste you." Justin replied, taking Brian's cock in his mouth slowly. It had been so long since he had a taste of Brian's essence, and the feel of pre cum in his mouth was almost enough to cause his own orgasm. Pushing away any thoughts other than the desire to please his man, Justin began a steady rhythm while fondling his sack and teasingly running his fingers around Brian's trembling hole.

Brian was lost. The feelings that Justin was creating were almost more than he could bear. When he felt Justin's mouth leave his cock, he glanced up and saw the man wetting his fingers. He knew what was coming next but had no time to react before feeling one of Justin's fingers enter his waiting hole. He gasped at the intrusion, his body feeling as if it was on fire.

Justin slid a finger inside Brian's tight hole, sliding it in and out in rhythm with his mouth that was once again wrapped around his leaking shaft. He could feel Brian moving closer to orgasm and inserted another finger, wanting to give the man as much pleasure as he could, his own cock aching in need. He picked up the pace and was rewarded when he tasted Brian's cum as it shot down his throat, the sounds of the man's pleasure ringing in his ears.

Brian rode out the waves of his orgasm, certain that he never experienced such intense pleasure. His body was shaking and he felt as if he was floating through air. He grabbed Justin's arm and pulled the younger man to him, wanting to taste himself on his tongue. The sensations were beginning to subside, and he took that moment to switch positions and give Justin a touch of what he had just received. His cock was once again growing just by the thought of entering Justin's hole. He began to move down the other man's body, but was startled when he felt himself being stopped.

"Brian, don't take this the wrong way, but hurry up. I need to have you inside of me." Justin moaned, knowing that he wouldn't last long, but wanting to cum with Brian buried inside of him.

Brian couldn't help but chuckle at Justin's impatience, but complied with his wishes as he reached into the night stand and pulled out a condom and lube. He quickly greased up his fingers and inserted them one at a time, making a fast attempt to prepare the eager hole. Once he was sure Justin was ready, he rolled the condom on his hardened cock, and positioned himself at the entrance, placing Justin's legs on his shoulders. He wanted to be able to look into the blue eyes he had missed so much while they came together again. He hesitated a moment, and Justin noticed the doubts he was experiencing.

"Brian, it's okay." Justin assured, realizing that Brian was thinking about the consequences of their actions.

Brian shook his head, banishing his thoughts and entered Justin in one slow thrust. He heard Justin moan as the pleasure overtook him. If he didn't know better, he would swear that he finally felt like he was home. After giving them each time to adjust to the feelings of their union, Brian began a slow, torturous rhythm, wanting to prolong the intense passion they were experiencing. Unfortunately, Justin didn't have the same thoughts, and began bucking his hips causing Brian to groan at the movement.

"Justin…"

"Brian, faster…I need…ahhh…please fuck me!"

That was all Brian could take before he began pounding into Justin as if his life depended on it. He could feel his balls tighten immediately and knew it was only a matter of minutes. He reached in between their bodies and grabbed Justin's cock. He gave it a few pulls before Justin groaned and shot his load between them, his muscles tightening around Brian's cock, sending him over the edge. He collapsed on top of the younger man, trying desperately to catch his breath. His mind was spinning and his vision was blurred, probably from the sheer joy of being with the blond again, although he would never admit that to anyone. He tried to roll away, wanting to clean up the mess they had made but Justin wouldn't let him go.

"Please, Brian, stay here. I'm not ready to let you go just yet." Justin admitted, hating the sound of desperation in his voice. He was afraid to say too much for fear of scaring Brian off, but needed to hang on to their closeness a little bit longer.

"Justin…"

"Don't say it, Brian. I know that this doesn't make everything all better. I know that you are still the same person you've always been, and I know that nothing has changed between us. I just need to hang on to these feelings for a few more minutes before reality comes crashing down." Justin explained, hoping to get Brian to see how important this moment was to him.

"Justin, all I was going to do was get something to clean us up. I promise to come right back. I don't have any intention of thinking about reality right now, either." Brian replied with a small chuckle.

"Oh…okay. Then go ahead. I'm all wet and sticky." Justin laughed, relieved that Brian was avoiding real life as much as he was.

Justin's words caused Brian to flash to the conversation he had with Michael about David, and he wondered if what he had said that night was true. He had assured Michael that David must love him if he held him at night all wet and sticky instead of jumping in the shower right after the sex was over. Getting up to get a towel was just a ploy to put some space between him and Justin. In reality, all he wanted to do was hold on to Justin for as long as he could regardless of the mess they shared. 'Did that mean…' He shook off those thoughts and made his way to the bathroom, refusing to think about what it all meant.

After they cleaned themselves, Brian got back in bed and took Justin in his arms. Neither one said anything for awhile, both of them lost is their own thoughts. Justin was the first one to speak.

"Brian? I'm not sure what just happened here, but don't you think we need to talk about it?"

"No." Brian replied.

"Brian…" Justin said with exasperation.

"Look, Justin, it's only Thursday. You are going to be here until Sunday. We have time to figure things out later. Let's not ruin what we have right now." Brian insisted, needing time to figure out whatever it was that he was feeling.

"Alright, but do you promise that we will talk before I leave?" Justin asked, uncertain that he should let things slide for the weekend.

"I promise, Sunshine. Now come here." Brian said, pulling Justin closer to him.

They stayed in bed for the rest of the night, except for the quick trip that had to make to the corner store for food. Some things never changed, and Brian having an empty refrigerator was one of them. After getting their initial reunion out of the way, they made love a few more times, taking things slow and enjoying each other. They finally fell asleep, locked in each other's arms.

The next morning, Justin woke up to find Brian watching him. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips.

"Good morning," Justin said softly.

"Good morning, Sunshine. How did you sleep?" Brian asked, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Wonderful, how about you?" Justin asked.

"Better than I have in months." Brian replied without thinking of what he was actually admitting.

Justin wondered if Brian's answer meant what he was hoping it did, but knew not to push. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?"

"No. I decided to take the day off. I've earned it." Brian said with a smile.

"Are you sure? I don't mind amusing myself for the day if you need to go into the office." Justin assured him.

"I'm sure. I have plans for this weekend, and they don't include work. Now get up and get in the shower. We have things to do." Brian demanded with a chuckle.

"Are you going to join me?" Justin asked, his meaning obvious.

"Oh, alright. If you insist." Brian sighed with a smile.

It was quite awhile before they actually made it out of the loft. For the next thirty six hours, the two men just enjoyed being together. They went to a few museums, did some shopping, and took a couple walks on the beach, not to mention the sex that they shared over and over again. They talked about their new lives and what they had been up to for the last few months, but skirted around the issue of their relationship. By Saturday night, Justin was beginning to think that Brian was going to try to ignore their situation and let him leave without talking. He wasn't going to let that happen. They were curled up in bed, after another round of incredible sex, when he broached the subject.

"Brian, we still need to have that talk."

"Yeah, I know. I knew you would never leave without having it." Brian joked, wanting to prolong the inevitable.

"Look, Brian. You don't really want me to leave without us coming to some kind of understanding, do you?" Justin questioned.

"Do you really want an answer to that one, Sunshine?" Brian inquired.

"Brian," Justin whined.

"I know, I know. What do you want me to say?" Brian asked, sitting up in bed and running his hand through his hair.

"Whatever you want to say, Brian. I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear, I want you to be honest with me." Justin assured him.

"I'm always honest." Brian retorted.

"You know what, Brian? Never mind! I should have known that you would try to back out of our talk. Just forget it!" Justin exclaimed. He tried to get out of bed, but Brian held his arm and wouldn't let him go.

"I miss you!" Brian shouted, stunning both him and Justin into silence. Justin recovered first.

"You miss me?" He asked softly.

"Yes. I miss you. I don't know what it means, and I don't know what to do next, but you wanted me to be honest, so there it is." Brian could feel his anger building. He hated feeling vulnerable.

"Oh Brian, I miss you, too." Justin replied, trying to hold back his emotions.

"Then why did you leave in the first place?" Brian barked, rising from the bed. He didn't want to fight on their last night together, but his anger was getting the best of him.

"You pushed me away! What was I supposed to do?" Justin could feel a lone tear slip from his eye, but managed to brush it away without Brian noticing.

"Bullshit! You turned away the minute you met the fiddler and thought he could offer you what you thought you needed. You were going to leave anyway, I just helped you along." Brian yelled.

"You know what, Brian? Why did you even bother inviting me here if you are still so mad at me? Did you want an easy fuck?" Justin spat at him.

"An easy fuck? You are anything but an easy fuck! I wanted you here because I missed you. Because I lay in bed every night and think of you, of all we have been through together, and I can't seem to get you out of my mind!" Brian exclaimed.

Justin stood there in shock. That was the closest thing Brian ever came to saying the words he longed to hear, and he didn't know what to say. He knew they had a lot of problems to work out, but for the first time in a long time, he had hope for the future. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Brian replied.

"Look, Brian. Maybe we should just take things slow and see what happens. We are on opposite ends of the country. Maybe a little time apart will help us to think about things better. I can come out here to visit occasionally, and you will be coming back to Pittsburgh. We can continue the emails, and phone calls and see where we end up." Justin suggested.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to give you what you need, Justin." Brian admitted, feeling somewhat relieved that Justin was willing to try to work things out.

"Brian, I'm not even sure what it is that I need anymore. I'm not the same person I was when we were together. I don't think you are either. We'll just see what happens, okay? In the mean time, we will keep this all between us. There is no need for anyone else to know what is going on with us. Alright?" Justin was afraid that with a little help from their friends Brian would go running in the opposite direction and that was the last thing he wanted. They needed some time to figure things out without any interference from others, especially Michael.

"Come here." Brian said, opening his arms wide. Once Justin was in his arms, he felt as if everything was going to be okay. He just hoped that he was doing the right thing. He didn't know what would happen if he lost Justin again.

They climbed back in bed to enjoy their last night together, neither one of them talking about anything of importance. Their immediate future was already established, and the rest would work itself out, one way or another.


End of part 5
12/11/03

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