Love Will Find a Way

Chapter 2

Justin had been back to work at the diner for a week and was beginning to relax a little bit, happy that he hadn’t had any run ins with the gang. Other then that first morning when he started his shift at 8:00 am, he seemed to work most afternoons where a reunion with everyone was almost impossible. Since Justin left the Rage party he only ran into Michael once and that was the day he quit his job. The last thing he wanted to do was see the man again and breathed a sigh of relief everyday that went by without an encounter. He hoped his luck would continue, but when he heard the door open and looked to see who was coming in, he knew his luck had run out.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Michael spat with venom, unable to believe that the ungrateful little shit was back again.

“I’m working here. Do you have a problem with that?” Justin spat back, refusing to let Michael get to him the way he used to.

“Since when? I thought I told you that since you were no longer with Brian that you should just disappear. Don’t you listen?” Michael asked, not noticing his mother standing by the kitchen with a shocked look on her face.

“Michael Novotny! How dare you talk to Sunshine like that! I should have known that you were behind his quitting without talking to me first. He has every right to be here. What happened between him and Brian is no one’s business but theirs so I suggest you butt out and get over it.” Debbie yelled, not caring that everyone in the diner had stopped eating to watch the drama.

“How can you say that, Ma? He’s the reason Brian moved to LA to begin with. If it wasn’t for Justin, Brian would still be here with me!” Michael exclaimed, trying to make his mother understand all the trouble Justin had caused.

“That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You still can’t accept the fact that Brian chose to leave Pittsburgh and start a new life without you. I think it’s time to put your boyhood fantasies behind you and face the fact that Brian is a grown man capable to make his own decisions and mistakes. He fucked up where Justin is concerned and left the kid no choice but to walk away and if that was the reason he moved away then he is the only one responsible for that. I will not have you taking it out on Justin. He is working here and living with me again and if you can’t deal with that then that’s your problem. Get over it.” Debbie stated before turning and walking into the back. She needed to get away from her son before she slapped his face.

Justin stood there in shock while Michael stormed out of the diner. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Was it possible that Brian moved to LA to get away from him? Could he hold that much power over the man to cause him to relocate across the country? Justin didn’t have any more time to dwell on what he had heard since the lunch rush was coming in. He filed the information away in the back of his mind for later and went to take some orders.

The rest of the day passed by uneventfully and Justin was happy when his shift ended. As he made his way home he once again thought about what Debbie and Michael had said about Brian. He still couldn’t believe he was the reason Brian left, but wanted to talk to Debbie and see what she thought. If anyone knew what was going on in Brian’s head, it was Debbie. She had a way of reading him like no one else could. Unfortunately, she had a PFLAG meeting and wouldn’t be home until late that night. Justin would have to wait a little longer till he found out what Michael meant earlier.

Brian was just stepping out of the shower when he heard the phone ringing. Trying to dry off before answering it, he heard the machine pick up and stopped once he heard Michael‘s voice on the other end.

“Brian, it’s me! Can you believe my mom took that little shit back in after what he did to you? I just found out that not only is Justin working at the diner again, but he’s back in my room! Call me!” Michael yelled into the machine before slamming down the phone on his end.

Brian sighed and went back to his room to finish getting dressed. The last thing he needed right now was to deal with Mikey and his dramatics. He had enough on his mind since finding out that Justin and Ethan were through. Once he was dressed in his favorite sweats and had ordered his dinner from the Thai place down the road, he sat on the couch thinking about what he’d learned in the last 24 hours. He couldn’t believe that Justin was back at Deb’s already. There was never any doubt that he and the fiddler would fall apart. It was only a matter of when. Brian figured they would have lasted longer then three weeks. Not that it really mattered anymore. Brian had made a decision to move away and start a new life and there was no turning back.

The next morning, Justin walked downstairs to find Debbie cooking breakfast. He knew his time had come to find the answers to the questions he had. Thinking about what the best approach would be, he decided to just come out and ask. Taking a deep breath he prepared himself for the discussion.

“Morning Deb.” Justin said in a cheery voice.

“Morning, Sunshine. How did you sleep?” She asked, knowing that the kid had been having trouble sleeping lately. She figured it had something to do with being back in Michael’s room and not being with Brian. It was obvious that Justin missed Brian very much and she wished there was something she could do to help him.

“Okay, I guess. Deb, can we talk for a minute?” Justin asked tentatively.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?” She replied as she placed a plate of pancakes on the table. Knowing Justin’s appetite she figured he would want to start on breakfast.

“I was curious about what you and Michael were talking about yesterday. You made it sound like I was the reason he moved to LA. You don’t really think that he moved to get away from me, do you?” He asked as he loaded his plate with pancakes.

“Justin sweetie, no one knows what goes on in Brian’s head. You know that. I think the time came for him to grow up and move on. Would he have left if the two of you were still together? Probably not, but don’t you feel guilty for leaving him. You did what you had to do. He gave you no other choice.” Debbie explained, hoping to ease the boy’s mind a bit.

“But what if I made a mistake? What if I should have stayed and tried to work things out? Maybe, in time, Brian would have come around and realized how much he meant to me. Now it’s too late. He’s all the way on the other side of the country and I’ll never know if we could have made it.” Justin replied, wiping away a stray tear.

“Sunshine, we all make choices based on what we think is best. If we second guess our choices all the time we would eventually go insane. I don’t have the answers for you. All I can say is that I know from experience that regret is a terrible thing. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I will always regret and if I could go back and change things, I would. It’s too late for me. Maybe it’s too late for you, too. But what if it isn’t? What if you still have a chance to go after what you want?” Debbie asked, hoping she was doing the right thing by encouraging Justin to go after Brian. She knew in her heart that Brian loved the kid, but was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to do anything about it.

“Are you saying that I should call him and ask him to take me back?” Justin asked, shocked by what she was suggesting.

“No. All I’m saying is that maybe it’s not too late. Don’t give up unless you’re sure it’s what you want. I don’t want you to have to live your life wondering if you made a mistake by walking away. Think about it for awhile and see what happens. You two had a strong connection and that just doesn’t disappear overnight. Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold.” Debbie said as she started cleaning up the kitchen.

Justin ate in silence, thinking about what Debbie had suggested. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe there was still a chance to get Brian back. Now all he had to do was decide if he wanted to take that chance. Of course he still loved Brian and wanted him back, but was love enough? Could Justin go back to being the trick that wouldn’t leave? Could he keep looking away while Brian continued to fuck around? Justin decided to give it some serious thought before he did anything. He wanted to make sure that he made the right decision.

Brian sat in his office, looking out over the city, trying to decide if he should give Justin a call. Just check up on him and make sure that he was okay. What would be the harm in that? Before he had time to think about it, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” he called taking a seat at his desk. He looked up and saw his new assistant walk in and he realized how much he missed Cynthia.

“Mr. Kinney, I have your mail here. I was going to sort through it when I realized a lot of it was your personal mail and I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to go through it.” Kathy explained as she approached the desk.

“No, Kathy, that’s okay. I used this as my forwarding address since I wasn’t sure where I was going to be living when I moved out here. I’ll take care of it.” He said as he took the stack of mail from her. He could see the fear in her eyes and wondered why she seemed to be so afraid of him. He hated to have to break in a new assistant. Cynthia knew what was expected of her and they had a great working relationship. He missed her almost as much as he missed his adopted family. He made a mental note to call her and see how she was doing.

“Okay, Mr. Kinney. Don’t forget you have a meeting with the people from Hometown Jewelers at 1:00 and Mr. Philmore would like to meet with you this afternoon to see how you’re settling in.” She informed him.

“No problem, Kathy. Tell him I’ll come by after the meeting. That will be all.” he replied, dismissing her as he started to sort through his mail. He was a little surprised to find a letter from PIFA. It was a reminder that tuition for the fall semester was due in a couple of weeks. Knowing that Justin would still need funding for his education, Brian put the letter in his briefcase, intent on sending out a check the following day. There was no reason for Justin’s education to suffer just because they weren’t together anymore. Once that was done, he went about his day, pushing all thoughts of his old life from his mind.

Three weeks later…

Justin sat at the computer, staring at the screen, trying to decide what to say in the email. He went to PIFA earlier that day to discuss what options he might have to help pay his tuition and was surprised to find out that his fall semester had been paid in full. He knew without asking that Brian had paid the bill. Even though, they weren’t together anymore, he was still holding up his end of the bargain to loan him money for his education. Justin decided that it was time to contact him. He realized that he needed to be sure they couldn’t have a future together before he moved on with his life, and was just waiting for an opportunity to make contact. Now that the time had come he sat there with his heart racing, not sure of what he wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, he began typing.

To: bkinney@aol.com
From: jtaylor@pitts.net
Subject: Thank you!
Date: August 2, 2002

Brian,

I wanted to say thank you for paying my tuition. I went to the campus today to discuss what my options were and was surprised to find out that the bill had been paid. You don’t have to keep paying my tuition anymore. We made the deal while we were still together. I will understand if you want to forget about the whole thing. I can always get a second job to cover my expenses if I need to. Just let me know if you change your mind. How are you doing? Do you like LA? I must say I was shocked to find out that you moved away. I know you always talked about getting out of the Pitts, but I didn’t think that you would really leave. I guess a part of me was happy to know you were close by. Now you seem so far away. I want to apologize for what happened at the Rage party. I just did what I felt I had to do. I hope you don’t hate me too much. I would really like to think of you as a friend. Anyway, I guess that’s all I wanted to say. Take care of yourself, Brian, and know that I am always here if you need me.

Justin

The minute Justin sent the email, he regretted it. He was afraid he sounded too sappy for Brian and figured that he would never get a reply, but at least he said what he felt he had to. Now all he could do was wait and see if he would ever hear from the man he loved.
 
Brian came home from another long day at work and went immediately for his bottle of beam. As much as he liked his new job and his new loft, he couldn’t help but think there was something missing from his life. That thought hit him everyday as he drove home from work. If he was honest with himself, he would probably have to say that the something missing was a certain blond twink that used to be waiting for him when he got home. He remembered a time when he used to enjoy living alone, but after awhile he got used to having Justin around. Now his place was too quiet for his taste. He missed listening to the idle chatter he used to get as soon as he walked through the door. Grabbing the bottle, he made his way to the computer and booted up. He had some more work he wanted to do on his new account.
 
The first thing Brian did was check his email and was shocked to see something from Justin. After taking a few minutes to gather his thoughts he opened the email and read what Justin had to say. His mind flashed back to all that they had been through and Brian was overcome with emotions that he couldn’t push away. He shut down the computer and headed to the shower, deciding that he needed to go out and forget all about his past. He ended up at Score, a local club he had been to a few times in the past. After downing a few drinks he picked out his trick for the night and made his move, determined to use pain management to get through the long night ahead. If Justin wanted a friend, he could find someone his own age from school. Brian didn’t need anymore friends in his life.
 
 
One week later…
 
Justin had spent the last week checking his email a couple times a day, hoping to hear something from Brian, but so far he hadn’t received a reply. He figured the silence was Brian’s way of saying fuck off and knew he should just give up, but here he was, racing to the computer after work in hopes of finding a reply. After booting up the computer he signed online and was thrilled to see an email from Brian waiting for him. With an unsteady hand he opened the email and read what Brian had to say.
 
 
To: jtaylor@pitts.net
From: bkinney@aol.com
Subject: A deal’s a deal
Date: August 9, 2002
 
 
Justin,
 
We had a deal. I would loan you the money for school and you would pay me back, with interest, after you graduated. Nothing is going to change that. You shouldn’t be working two jobs. You need to concentrate on you school and your art. As for what happened at the Rage party, sorry is bullshit. You did what you had to do. No regrets, remember? Living in LA has been an adjustment for me. It’s a lot different then the Pitts, but sometimes different is better. I am happy at the new agency, but I miss Cynthia. She’s the only one who knows how to handle my…needs, and no one seems to know how to make a cup of coffee around here. We were never just friends, were we Justin? We’ve always been more than that, but the same goes for me. I am here if you need me.
 
 
Brian
 
 
Justin couldn’t believe what he had read. Was Brian trying to say that he still cared? Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as he thought they were. Now he had hope that maybe one day he and Brian would find their way back to each other.
 
 
End of part 2
9/11/03

 

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