Healing the Heart

Chapter 5

Justin woke up to find himself in Brian's arms. He kept still and allowed his mind to drifted back to the previous night when he had awaken in the middle from another nightmare to find Brian standing over him. Having him near was such a comfort that he had asked the man to stay with him. What was wrong with him? Was it really possible that all those thoughts he had when he was younger weren't just typical boyhood emotions? Could it be possible that he was gay? Or at the very least bi-sexual? He didn't even want to think about the possibility right now with everything else, but he didn't know how much longer he could deny it to himself. He had never really been interested in girls before. Then again, he was never interested in guys either, until Brian. Maybe he was just thinking about Brian because he was being so nice to him and helping him through a really horrible time in his life? That had to be it. There was no way he could be gay.

He was so confused he wasn't sure what to do. He wished he had someone to talk to, but there was no one who could help him with this. Being raised by Craig Taylor made him see how society felt about gay people. As wrong as it was, gay people were still being picked on and beat up just because they were attracted to the same sex. He knew for a fact that his father had let one of his employees go after finding out he was gay. Granted, he didn't use that reason while he fired the man. Gay people had a few more rights than that, but after it was all over he had bragged at the dinner table about letting the fairy go. It was right about the time that Justin decided that his mixed feelings were just due to the overactive hormones of a preteen. From that moment on, he pushed all of his questions out of his mind and moved on. There was no way he was going to admit to Brian, or Lindsay for that matter, that he was having doubts and questions. Brian would run for the hills, and Lindsay would stick him in foster care until he was eighteen and out on the streets. No, this was something he would keep to himself. He was not gay. He just admired Brian for surviving all that he had lived through and all he had become. At that moment, the object of his thoughts started stirring and Justin sat up gently, giving the man some space.

"Morning," Brian said, trying to get his bearings. He vaguely remembered comforting Justin after a nightmare the night before. He must have fallen asleep before heading back upstairs.

"Good morning. I'm sorry about last night. I guess I was just so freaked out that I didn't want to be alone. I didn't mean for you to fall asleep here," Justin said, embarrassed by his behavior.

"S'okay, I guess I was tired. What time is it?" Brian asked, trying to focus on the clock.

"It's after ten. Shouldn't you be at work?" Justin questioned, realizing that he had probably made Brian late.

"No. I couldn't fall asleep last night so I called out. They're always trying to make me take a sick day, so I figured what the hell? That's what they're there for," Brian explained.

Justin watched Brian sit up, his hair tousled from sleep, and felt something stirring in his gut. He jumped up from the bed quickly. "I'll go make some breakfast," he called out as he raced upstairs away from the man in his bed.

Brian watched Justin run from the room, and figured he was embarrassed by the events from the previous evening. He slowly dragged himself out of bed and headed upstairs, hoping a shower would wake him up. After standing under the spray for a few minutes he began to feel more like himself and wondered if he should go into work for a few hours. He got out of the shower and got dressed before calling Ryder.

"Hey Brian. How are you feeling?" Marty asked with concern. Brian came into work no matter what and he was surprised to hear his message that he was taking a sick day.

"Better. Sorry about calling out at the last minute like that. I wasn't feeling good last night and couldn't sleep. If you need me, I can come in now," Brian offered.

"Brian, that's what sick days are for. You've been working here for over four years now and you've never missed a day yet. Take the rest of today and tomorrow, too if you want. You deserve it," Marty assured him. Brian Kinney was the best ad man in the company, despite his lack of experience, and had a bright future ahead of him. The smartest thing he had ever done was hire the kids who came in begging for a chance all those years ago.

"Thanks, Boss. I'll be back to work tomorrow. Listen, I have a question for you. Have you found a replacement for the intern in the art department yet?"

"Actually, I put in a call to PIFA first thing this morning. I'm waiting to hear back from them now. Why? Do you have someone in mind?" Marty asked.

"I think so. He's the cousin of a friend of mine. He's only seventeen, but he graduated early from high school. He's taking a year off before going to Dartmouth on a full scholarship. I'm staying with him for a few days while my friend is away. Last night he drew up a picture for a slogan I had been trying to decide on for that perfume campaign I've been working on. I have to say, he's probably more talented than our whole department put together," Brian explained, hoping that he was doing the right thing.

"What did I tell you about bringing your work home with you?" Marty asked sternly.

"Yeah, I know. I deserve my days off and I should leave my work for the office. I'll have plenty of time to burn myself out later. I got it. Anyway, do you think you can at least meet with him and look at his work? I'm not asking you for any special treatment. I just think that he would make a wonderful addition to the team."

"But if he's not going to art school..."

"Nothing is set in stone. He's just gone through a life altering experience and needs to focus on what he really wants. I could see how much he loves his art, and I think it's what he would really like to focus on. I don't know exactly what he knows or doesn't know, but I know what I saw and he's good," Brian said, before adding, "all I'm asking is for you to talk with him and see what you think. If he's good, you could throw him a small salary for the time being while he's learning, and he can continue on while he's in school. Just like someone else we both know. Look how well I turned out."

"Alright, if you really think he's that talented, bring him in tomorrow with you. It couldn't hurt, and since lately all we've been getting is mediocre talent at best, I've got nothing to lose. Now go relax for the rest of the day and I'll see you in the morning," Marty said, wondering if it as even possible for the young man to relax.

"Thanks Boss. See you tomorrow." Brian hung up the phone and headed down to the kitchen, trying to figure out what to tell Justin. Marty was right, he wasn't even enrolled in art school. But now that his asshole father wasn't in the equation, Justin had the ability to do anything he wanted with his life.

"Oh good, you're here. Breakfast is on the table. Come eat," Justin ordered gently, as he made is way into the dining room.

They sat down and began to eat the breakfast Justin made before Brian broached the subject of work.

"Listen, Justin. I want to talk to you about something and I want you to hear me out before you respond. Okay?"

Justin didn't like the sound of Brian's voice. He appeared to be nervous about whatever he had to say. As much as he wanted to run away, fearing bad news, Justin nodded his head in response.

"I was just on the phone with my boss, and I happened to mention to him how talented you are. He's looking for an intern in our art department. Now it wouldn't be a lot of money at first, and you would have to juggle work and school once classes started, but it could really help you get a career in the art field," Brian explained.

"The art field? Brian, I'm going to Dartmouth in the fall. I'm going to be a business major. I won't have a career in the art field," Justin replied, starting to get up, only to be stopped by Brian's hand on his arm.

"Justin, just hear me out. Your drawing...it's fucking incredible. If you really don't want to pursue it, then that's your choice. But if you aren't interested because your old man told you not to, don't you owe it to yourself to see if you have what it takes? Just go talk to Ryder, show him some of your drawings. Just see what he thinks." Brian could see a look of doubt cross Justin's face so he continued. "What's the worst thing that could happen? He could tell you that you aren't good enough, which I know won't happen, or you could decide that it isn't for you. Either way, all you'll do is lose a few hours of your time."

Justin sat back and let Brian's words sink in. For years all he wanted to do was create. He used to spend hours with a sketch pad putting his thoughts down on paper. Then one day his father took it all away from him. All because he was so busy drawing that he forgot to clear the table. Now he had the opportunity to go after his dream again and he refused to let anything stand in his way.

"Okay, I'll do it." Justin jumped up and stared making his way to his room, talking to himself along the way. "I'll have to go through my sketch books, see what I have. Oh, no...what if I don't have anything that good?" He turned back around, looking at Brian with fear in his eyes.

"First of all, I'm sure anything you have is great. How about we run out to the store and get you some supplies? You'll have the rest of the day to create your magic," Brian suggested, enjoying Justin's excitement.

"Really? Are you sure? If you have other things to do..."

"Yes, I'm sure. Let's get ready and we'll head out," Brian replied, heading upstairs.

Two hours and a hundred dollars later, which Justin insisted was a loan, he was sitting on the couch lost on his sketch book. Brian couldn't help but smile at the sight of Justin concentrating on his drawing. Once he was able to show him how easy it would be to go after his dream, there was no stopping him. In fact, Justin barely took a dinner break, and when Brian went to bed, he was still trying to finish up a few things. As much as he wanted Justin to get some sleep, the eagerness was a nice change. Brian had planned on going back down in a bit to check on him, but as soon as he hit the pillow, he was out cold.

When Brian woke up the next morning, he headed downstairs to find Justin sleeping on the couch, his sketch book lying on his stomach. He looked so carefree like that, and Brian felt something shift in his chest at the site. He shook it off and walked over to wake him up.

"Justin? Justin, it's time to get up," Brian said softly.

"Huh? What time is it?" Justin mumbled, trying to focus on the man standing over him.

"It's 7:00. I have to be in the office at 8:30. You're meeting with Ryder at 9:00. I thought you might want to get a shower first," Brian said, noticing the way Justin's t-shirt rode up as he stretched, showing a very nice piece of flesh.

"Shit! I'm sorry, I guess I fell asleep. I'll go get ready now. I want to finish up a couple of things with my drawings before we leave," Justin replied, jumping up and heading for the bathroom.

Brian chuckled as he watched him run away. He glanced down and saw the sketch book lying on the table. Picking it up, Brian looked through the pages, impressed by what he saw. He knew he made the right decision talking to Ryder. There was no doubt that the kid would have a job by the end of the week. Just as he was about to put the book down, something caught his eye. It was a picture of him, standing by a lake that Brian had never seen before. It was a fantastic drawing, but what caught Brian's eye was the look on his face. He looked calm and at peace, nothing like the stressed out ad exec that he really was. He closed the book back up and made his way back upstairs, needing to start his day.

Brian showed Justin around the building before bringing him to Ryder's office at 9:00 sharp. After the introductions were made, he went back to his office, anxiously awaiting the results of the meeting. At 10:00 he was just starting to get worried when Justin appeared at his doorway.

"Well, how'd it go?"

"Great, I think. Mr. Ryder seems like a nice guy. We talked about high school, my grades, my art, of course. He really loved my drawings, too. No matter what happens, thank you, Brian. I really appreciate all you have done for me," Justin replied.

"It's nothing," Brian said, brushing off the praise. "So, did he say when he was going to call you?"

"Yeah, he said he would call me by the end of the week. I guess all I have to do now is wait."

"Good. I'll call you a cab. When you get home, why don't you do some research online and look into art schools. You have to find out what you need to do to apply," Brian suggested.

"That's a good idea. I still can't believe this is all happening. Although, I don't have a job yet."

"You will, even if Ryder is too stupid to hire you, someone will," Brian assured him.

Twenty minutes later, Justin was gone and Brian was alone at his desk when Ryder came in.

"You got a minute?"

"Yeah, what's up?" Brian asked, hoping it was about Justin.

"That's some kid you sent me. He's incredibly talented," Ryder commented, sitting across from Brian. "You said he's your friends cousin?"

"Yeah, he's living with her now. He had a family...situation that brought him here," Brian explained, keeping the horror to himself.

"There's no chance he'll get homesick and want to go back to Philadelphia?"

"No, he's staying here, and I think he realized that he doesn't want to go to Dartmouth." Brian told him.

"That's a shame for them. He's very intelligent. Did you know he scored a 1580 on his SAT's? He said he would have done better if he wasn't sick on the day of the test. As if a 1580 wasn't good enough." Ryder couldn't help but chuckle remembering the shyness he saw in the kid.

Brian was surprised by that little bit of news. He knew the kid was talented, but he never realized how smart he was. He was impressed.

"So, are you going to offer him the internship?"

"Of course I am. I'd be a fool not to. I'd better get back to work. Don't forget about the meeting this afternoon," Ryder said as he walked out of the room.

Brian smiled, happy that Justin was going to get a break for a change and have something good in his life. All he had to do now was get into a good school and his future was looking bright, and with his talent and a 1580 he didn't see that being a problem. The only problem was the feelings that Brian was beginning to notice every time he was around him. He'd just have to worry about that later, though. Justin was all that mattered now.


End of part 5
2/12/04

Return to Healing the Heart