Healing the Heart

Chapter 2

The next night Brian arrived at Lindsay's at 5:30. He figured he would give himself a little time to get to know Justin before dinner. He was only there for about fifteen minutes when he realized two things. The first one was that for a kid, Justin was hot. Unfortunately, he was straight, so that didn't really matter too much anyway. The second, and more important thing was the real problem. Lindsay was hovering. No matter what Justin said or did, Lindsay was right there to thank him over and over again, or to ask him if he was alright. Of course the kid wasn't alright. He just lost both of his parents in a horrible situation. No one would be alright after that. He probably just needed some time to absorb things and Lindsay wasn't giving him that time. She might as well have just invited Debbie over. He would have gotten the same result. He waited until she went into the kitchen to take dinner out of the oven before he confronted her.

"Linds, back off," He warned.

"Back off? Of what?" She asked in confusion.

"Your smothering him. He can't make a move without you being right up his ass. He needs a little space." Brian explained, trying to be gentle.

"But Brian, he's just a little kid and he's going through so much right now. I only want to help him, but I don't know what to do," She defended herself, tears forming in her eyes.

"First of all, he's not a little kid. He's seventeen years old. A hot seventeen years old, by the way," He added, much to Lindsay's horror.

"Brian," She said, her voice dripping with warning.

"Relax, Linds. I don't go for seventeen year olds. Besides, he's straight anyway. I just thought I'd mention it," He replied with a sly smile. "Anyway, there's nothing you can do. His father killed his mother, then himself. There is nothing you can say or do to make it better. You need to give him time to adjust to his new life. Losing a parent at any age is tough, but when you are a kid, it's even worse."

"Oh Brian, I'm sorry. I forgot." She said softly.

Brian pushed away the little bit of regret he still felt when he thought about how he lost his own mother when he was only six. It was along time ago, and he was over it by now. Jack made sure of that. "We're not talking about me here, Lindsay. We're talking about Justin. He needs time to wrap his mind around what happened and ease some of his guilt."

"Guilt? Why would he feel guilty? He didn't do anything wrong," Lindsay pointed out.

"Because when parents die, kids feel guilty. It's in our make up," Brian explained, trying to be casual.

"You mean...you felt guilty?" She asked.

"Come on Lindsay. My mother never wanted to go out that night. If I had remembered to tell her I needed to bring a drink in to school for the party, she would have picked it up earlier and never been out on the road when that asshole drunk driver slammed into her. You can't tell me it's not my fault. I've accepted it, but it took time. He needs that time now. You have to give him that."

"Brian, that wasn't your fault. She was your mother. It was her job to do those little things for you and I'm sure she enjoyed doing them. It was that asshole drunk driver who was guilty," Lindsay said, shocked by Brian's guilt.

"Try telling my old man that," Brian mumbled quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Look, this isn't about me. This is about Justin and what he needs. Trust me on this Linds, you need to back off and give him some room to grieve. Why don't you let me take him out for the day tomorrow?" Brian suggested, surprising both him and Lindsay.

"You?"

"Yeah, me. I don't bite, you know," He replied before adding, "well, not seventeen year old, straight boys anyway."

"I don't know, Brian. What would you do with him?" She asked, skeptically.

"I thought I'd take him to the baths," Brian replied, trying to sound serious.

"Brian!" Lindsay exclaimed in horror.

"Oh please, I was just kidding. I have an idea. How about if I wait until tomorrow and ask him what HE wants to do," Brian suggested with a smile. "Lindsay, he's almost eighteen. He's old enough to decide what he wants to do for a day. Remember when you were his age? You were out trolling Liberty Avenue trying to pick up every dyke you saw," Brian teased.

"I was not! Besides, Justin needs..."

"He needs to take control of his life, starting by deciding what he wants to do on a Saturday,"

"Alright, alright, I get your point. Just be careful with him. And remember, you promised not to tell him your gay just yet. I just think it would be better to wait until he gets to know us better." She knew how much Brian hated hiding who he was, but she was sure she was right about this.

"I won't tell him, but I'm not going to lie to him either. If it comes up, which I doubt it will, I'm going to be honest. I always am," Brian assured her.

"Okay, that's good enough, I guess. Now I better get this dinner on the table. Justin hardly ever eats. He's lost so much weight in the last couple of weeks. I want him to..."

"You're backing off, remember?" Brian looked at her, waiting for her response.

"Yeah, yeah. Now take this to the table," Lindsay said, handing him the roast.

Brian laughed as he took the platter out to the table. Justin was sitting in the living room staring out the window, so Brian tried to talk to him.

"Hey, anything good out there?"

"No, I just..." Justin said shyly.

"It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm not Lindsay," Brian replied, seeing the boy wince at his words. Apparently he hit the nail on the head earlier. Lindsay was probably driving him nuts. "So, do you want to do something tomorrow?"

"With you?" Justin didn't even try to hide his surprise.

"Yeah, with me. I thought you could use a little time away from Lindsay. I know how she can be when she thinks she's helping. Whatever you want to do is fine. I'm off tomorrow and have no plans for the day," Brian assured him.

"I...uh...I guess so," Justin replied hesitantly.

"You don't have to say yes. If you'd rather stay here..."

"No! I mean...no, I want to go out. Are you sure you want to take me somewhere?" Justin couldn't understand why Brian would want to take him out. He was just some stupid kid with no where to go.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to. So, I'll pick you up at 10?"

"Okay, yeah," Justin replied, with just a touch of happiness in his eyes.

"Well, how about we go eat now. I think Lindsay is planning on force feeding you if you don't start eating more," Brian teased, noticing a small smile appearing.

"Oh, jeez. Alright, I'll eat," Justin sighed. "Oh, and thanks Brian." He added, walking into the dining room.

Brian followed him, with a small smile of his own on his face.

The next morning Brian showed up right on time to find Justin waiting for him.

"Hey, I'm ready," Justin said as soon as Brian walked in.

"Okay, go get in my jeep. I want to talk to Lindsay for a minute. I'll be right there. You can go find something on the radio while you're waiting," Brian said, watching Justin walk away.

"Brian, I think you were right. Ever since you left last night, all he could talk about was going out with you today. You're brilliant!" Lindsay exclaimed, grateful for the change in Justin.

"Was there ever any doubt? You know that one outing isn't going to make him all better, right?" Brian questioned.

"Oh, I know, but this is the first time I saw him show interest in anything since he got here. I'll take whatever I can get," She explained with a smile.

"How did he sleep last night?" Brian asked, seeing the dark clouds cross her face. He already had his answer.

"The usual. He woke up screaming around 2:00. He wouldn't let me offer him any comfort. He started again with that stuff about sleeping in the basement," She replied sadly.

"Maybe you should let him," Brian suggested.

"What?"

"That's it!" Brian exclaimed as he headed towards the phone.

"Brian? Who are you calling?" She asked in confusion.

"Hey Mikey," Brian said into the phone. "I got a job for you. Call the gang and get them over to Lindsay's. I need a favor. Justin needs a room of his own. I am going to leave some money here. I want you to help her clean up the basement and make it suitable for a teenager. He's going to need a bed, dresser, night stand...you know, the usual. I'll have Justin with me until after dinner. I want it done and you all gone before we get back. I'll give you until 8:00, okay?" Brian asked, waiting for a reply. "Great, thanks."

Brian hung up the phone and turned around to see a shocked Lindsay glaring at him.

"Why did you do that? I don't want him all the way down in the basement. What if he needs me?" She asked, raising her voice.

"That's just it, Linds. He doesn't need you right now. He needs to be alone where he can loose control without being a bother to you. You said yourself that he won't let you comfort him and he refuses to go back to sleep for fear of waking you up again. This way he won't have to worry about you. He'll know where to find you if he needs you," Brian explained.

Lindsay could see Brian's point. Maybe if she didn't go running to him every night he would go back to sleep eventually. She could see the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. "I guess you're right again, Brian. Thanks. I owe you one."

"Anything for you, Lindsay. You know that. Now I better get out there before he thinks I changed my mind. Give this to Mikey when he gets here. I'll talk to you later," He said, handing her some money and heading for the door.

"Take care of him Brian," Lindsay added as he walked out the door.

"Yes Mom," he teased, listening to her chuckle as he walked away.

Brian pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the main road before he spoke.

"Okay, where would you like to go?"

"To Philadelphia?" Justin said in a quiet voice.

"Philadelphia?" Brian asked in surprise. "You do realize that Philadelphia is a three hour drive, right?"

"You asked me where I would like to go, I answered. Anywhere is fine," Justin replied, looking out the window.

Brian sighed. The kid probably missed his friends. Oh well, he needed to keep him out all day anyway. "Okay, but you'll have to give me directions once we get there. I haven't been to Philadelphia in years."

"You're going to drive me to Philadelphia?" Justin asked in surprise.

"I'm guessing that you miss your friends?"

"Just one. Daphne," Justin replied with sadness. He wanted to call her so bad, but didn't know if he was ready to talk to her yet.

"Oh, your girlfriend?" Brian asked, cringing on the inside.

"No, we're just friends. She's been my best friend since pre-school. I wanted to call her, but..."

"You didn't know what to say?" Brian finished for him.

"How'd you know?"

"I remember how I felt when my mother died," Brain said casually.

"Oh, I'm sorry. How old were you?" Justin was becoming more curious about the man beside him.

"I was six, so I don't remember all of it, but I do remember everyone wanting to talk about it when all I wanted to do was hide in my room," Brian admitted.

"Yeah, that's kind of what I want to do, too, but Lindsay won't let me. I guess she doesn't get it," Justin sighed.

"They never do, unless they went through it," Brian replied, handing Justin his cell phone. "Why don't you call Daphne and tell her we're coming. If you don't mind an old man tagging along, I'll take you both to lunch."

"Thanks!" Justin replied happily, dialing Daphne's number from memory.

Brian watched Justin talking to his friend with a smile on his face and felt a little tug at his heart. Maybe he'd actually be able to help this kid after all?


End of part 2
2/03/04

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