Healing the Heart

Chapter 10

The rest of the week was uneventful. Justin didn't have anymore trouble sleeping and was settling into his new job nicely. He and Brian spoke almost nightly, but hadn't ventured into phone sex again. By Saturday afternoon, Justin was anxious to see him again, having only gotten glimpses of him at work on Wednesday and Friday. He was also a little worried about meeting Brian and Lindsay's friends. Not only did he want to be liked, but he figured that one day they would all know about him and Brian, and didn't want any of them thinking he was some stupid kid. As he and Lindsay approached Michael's apartment she grabbed his hand.

"Justin, relax. You've been a nervous wreck all day. They are going to love you, just like I do."

"Thanks Linds. I guess I'm just a nervous. I know they mean a lot to you and I want to fit in," Justin admitted.

"You will. Now stop worrying and let's go," Lindsay replied.

Justin had nothing to worry about. Everyone welcomed him with open arms. Even the colorful woman named Debbie embraced him in a big hug, cutting off his oxygen supply. Just like she promised, no one seemed to know about what he had just been through and they treated him just like one of the gang. He casually looked around and was disappointed to see that Brian wasn't there yet.

"So Justin, I heard that Brian got you a job at Ryder," Michael said, trying to start a conversation with the kid. He knew what the kid had been though and wanted to make him feel welcome.

"Yeah, he was great. He brought one of my drawings to Mr. Ryder and the next thing I knew I had an interview. It's been really good so far and I'm looking forward to getting into school so I can learn what I need to know for the future," Justin explained. He was about to say something else when the door opened and Brian walked in, looking hotter than ever.

Brian walked in and spotted Justin immediately, standing off to the side, talking to Michael. He greeted everyone he saw as he made his way over to his friend and his...whatever he was. Brian still wasn't too sure about that yet.

"Hey Mikey, hey Justin. Did I miss anything?"

"No, you're right on time. Ben should be here any minute now. I told him that I made dinner reservations for 8:00." Michael explained. "In fact, I better start watching for him so we know when he's coming."

Brian watched Michael walk away before turning his attention to Justin. "So how did everything go? Did you get one of Debbie's vice-like hugs?"

"Yes I did, and I'm still trying to get the oxygen back into my lungs," Justin joked, feeling more comfortable now that Brian was there.

"That's Debbie for you. She loves to suffocate people as she greets them," Brian laughed. He couldn't believe how good it felt being with Justin again. All he wanted to do was kiss those soft lips, but knew that now wasn't the time for that. He would have to make sure to see the kid over the weekend.

Justin was stopped from replying when Michael called out that Ben was there and on his way up. The lights were turned off and everyone waited quietly until the door opened. They all jumped out and yelled surprise, laughing at the shocked look on Ben's face. While he went through the crowd, greeting everyone and thanking them for coming, Justin went in search of the bathroom. He figured he'd give Ben time to say hello to his friends before being introduced to him. He found the bathroom and relieved himself, and was just finishing washing his hands when the door opened. Before he had time to react, Brian had him locked in a passionate kiss. After a few moments, he felt Brian pull back, giving him a huge smile.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to lock the door?"

"Brian! What are you doing in here?" Justin asked in surprise.

"I just wanted to give you a proper hello," Brian chuckled.

Justin couldn't help but smile at his response. He had wanted to kiss Brian since he saw him walk through the door, but didn't think he would have the opportunity. "Well then, thank you, but I better get back out there before anyone sees us both missing."

"Call me later?" Brian asked with a smile.

"Of course," Justin replied, giving Brian his best smile before quietly sneaking out of the bathroom. He never noticed Emmett standing off to the side, observing him as he was leaving, then seeing Brian emerge a few moments later.

The party was a huge success and everyone had a good time. Justin felt much better now that he knew that Brian and Lindsay's friends liked and accepted him. On the way home, all he could think about was climbing into bed and calling Brian. He was completely lost in thought and didn't hear Lindsay talking to him.

"Justin! Where are you?"

"Huh?"

"I just asked you what you plans were for tomorrow," she repeated.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about...work. Uh, tomorrow...I don't have any plans. I thought I'd just hang out at home and do some sketching," Justin replied, secretly hoping that Brian would suggest something when he called him later.

"Oh, I'm going to be gone all day with Christy. She's got some family thing she needs to go to and wants me there to help shield all the questions about what happened between her and her asshole ex. Do you want to come with us?"

"No, that's okay. I'll be fine by myself, but thanks for asking," Justin replied with a smile. He had the house to himself for the day and his mind began thinking of what he and Brian could do in that time.

"Okay, I just thought I'd offer. I'll probably be home around 9:00pm, but if you need me, I'll have my cell on."

"Lindsay, that's sweet but I really am fine now. I miss my parents everyday, but I’m doing okay now," Justin assured her.

"I know you are, sweetie, and I'm so proud of you. I can't even imagine how hard this has been on you, but you aren't letting it destroy you." Lindsay praised.

"I can't Lindsay. It would be too easy to fall into a black hole and never come back to reality, but I can't let that happen. I need to move on, get past all the pain and bullshit that I've been through and make a life for myself. A life that will make me happy. You and Brian have helped me to see that and I thank you for that. I'm going to be alright," Justin said with determination. He wanted to tell Lindsay that he was gay. He wanted to tell her about what he discovered; with Brian, but he didn't. He still held back a little, wanting a little more time.

"Yes, you are. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and surviving what you have will make you a better person in the end. Just remember that I will always be here for you, no matter what."

Justin just nodded his head as they pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. They made their way inside and said goodnight before Justin headed into his room. He stripped down and climbed into bed, reaching for the phone to call Brian. When he didn't answer, Justin dialed his cell phone number.

"Hey there," Brian answered on the second ring.

"Hey yourself. Where are you? Is this a bad time?" Justin asked, suddenly feeling foolish for calling the cell. If Brian wasn't home to answer the phone, maybe he was busy with something.

"There's never a bad time for you to call me, Justin. I'm actually sitting outside Babylon waiting for the guys to join me. They wanted to go out for awhile and finish celebrating Ben's birthday so I figured I'd join them," Brian replied, happy to hear Justin's voice.

"Babylon? Isn't that the club you were telling me about?" Justin asked, feeling his heart drop. He knew that what was between him and Brian wasn't serious and that he was still going out to the clubs and picking up men, but it still hurt to know that others were experiencing what he wasn't.

"Yeah, that's the one. Hundreds of horny men parading around half naked, hitting on everything that moves. It's disgusting," Brian teased.

"Sounds like you'll have fun. I won't keep you from your night, I'll just talk to you later," Justin replied quietly.

"Justin, what's wrong?" Brian asked, noticing the change in Justin's attitude.

"Nothing...I'll just..."

"Justin?"

"Look Brian, it's no big deal. You have your life and I have mine," Justin said reluctantly.

"Alright, Justin, why don't you tell me what's really bothering you, and don't even try to tell me nothing," Brian insisted.

Justin thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to reply without sounding like he was being jealous or possessive. "I guess I just wish... uh, I mean, you go out at night meeting other guys and you won't..."

"Justin, I thought we decided to take things slow and give you some time to be sure of what you want?" Brian asked, understanding what Justin was trying to say without letting him finish his stammering.

"We did...forget I said anything. I don't know what I was thinking," Justin replied, suddenly wishing that he never made the call. "Look it's getting late and I'm tired. I'll just talk to you on Monday at work. Later, Brian."

Brian heard the phone call disconnect before he had a chance to reply. Looking up, he saw Michael and Ben approaching his jeep.

"Hey, Brian. You ready to go in?"

"Hey Mikey, something came up. I need to go. Give me a call tomorrow," Brian said as he put up the window and started the jeep. He pulled away without waiting for a reply.

When Brian pulled up to Lindsay's house, he killed the engine and climbed out, closing the door softly. He made his way up the path and pulled the spare key from under the mat, quietly letting himself inside. He headed for the basement and tapped lightly on the door before opening it.

"Hey Lindsay, what's up? I was just going to sleep," Justin called out, not bothering to roll over.

"It's not Lindsay," Brian replied, making his way down the stairs.

"Brian? What are you doing here?"

"I decided that I would rather be here with you than on a hot, crowded dance floor with a bunch of drunken fags," Brian replied, slowly approaching the bed.

Justin knew that Brian had picked up on his hurt and rushed over to sooth him and he felt guilty about it. They weren't in a relationship. They hadn't even slept together. All they really had was shared kisses and great phone sex. There was no reason for Brian to rush to his side at the first sign of a drama queen moment. "Brian, you didn't have to come here. I guess I just thought..." he stopped speaking, not wanting to say anymore.

"You thought what? Talk to me Justin," Brian replied, needing to know what was going on in the blonde's head. This was all new to him and he didn't want to screw it up.

"I don't know. I guess I just thought that...well, you were going to be with other guys..."

"When we've never been together?"

"Maybe. I'm sorry, Brian. I have no right to interfere in your personal life. Why don't you go meet your friends and have fun? I'll just talk to you later," Justin replied, feeling foolish for allowing his feelings to show.

"Justin, when I'm with a guy, it's just a fuck. It doesn't mean anything to me. You're different. I can't explain it, because I don't understand it myself, but I don't just want to fuck you. I like you. I like being with you, and one day we will be together, but right now I just want us to keep it simple. You need time to figure out what it is that you want, and I want to give you that time," Brian explained, watching Justin get up and approach him.

"I know what I want. I want you," Justin replied huskily, placing a hand on Brian's neck and pulling him down for an earth shattering kiss. He felt more than heard Brian's groan and deepened the kissing using his tongue to push it's way inside Brian's mouth, loosing himself in the warm, wet intoxicating taste of the man he knew he loved.

Brian was overcome with heat when he felt Justin seeking entrance into his mouth and didn't hesitate to allow that entrance. Their tongues dueled for dominance, with Brian finally giving up control and allowing Justin to take the lead. They made their way over to the bed without losing contact. After a few moments, Brian pulled away, looking into Justin's eyes as he spoke.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Justin replied with certainly.

Brian stepped back, slowly pulling his shirt off his body and tossing it in the nearby chair. He then made quick work of his pants before standing in front of Justin completely naked, his cock standing at attention in anticipation of what was to come next.

Justin took in the sight of Brian standing in front of him and felt frozen in a mixture of longing and anticipation. Shaking off those thoughts, he mimicked Brian's movements, discarding his own clothes, then pulling the older man towards him. When their skin came in contact, Justin jumped at the heat that coursed through him. He had dreamt about this moment for weeks, and now that it was here, he wanted to memorize every second for fear he would never feel this good again.

Brian took Justin into his arms and knew he was where he belonged. That thought terrified him and made him want to run as far away as he could, but he knew that wasn’t the answer. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the blond ever since they shared their first kiss and he knew he wanted to be inside of him more than he wanted his next breath. He placed a soft kiss on Justin’s swollen lips before pushing him on the bed gently and kneeling before him. He ran his hands up Justin’s legs slowly, working his way up to his hips, then bringing them down to his waiting cock. Brian could feel his own cock jump at Justin’s response, and knew that he to needed to take a deep breath and try to control the fire inside of him. He needed to be gentle since this was the boy’s first time. Lowering his head, he placed a gentle kiss on the leaking shaft before running his tongue around the cap and then sliding his mouth down, taking the shaft into his throat.

Justin jumped when he felt Brian’s mouth on his dick. The sensations he felt were greater than he ever thought possible and he could feel a tingling in his balls that he never felt before. Laying a hand on Brian’s head, he threw his head back, groaning at the feelings that were causing his head to spin.

“Brian...I can’t...”

Brian knew that Justin was close to exploding and wanted to slow things down a bit so they could get to the next step. He released Justin momentarily, causing a disappointed moan from him.

“It’s okay, Justin. Just lay back and enjoy what I’m doing. We’re just beginning,” Brian assured him, kissing him quickly and pushing him back on the bed before taking him back into his mouth.

Justin laid back on the bed and was relieved to feel Brian’s mouth resume it’s place on him. He could feel the man’s hands exploring his thighs and balls, and wasn’t sure if he could take much more. So lost in thought, he jumped when he felt one of Brian’s fingers sliding down into the crack of his ass. His senses were on over load and he wasn’t sure what to expect next. Before he had a chance to respond, Brian stood up causing Justin to panic.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m not going anywhere. I just need to get some supplies. I’ll be right back,” Brian said with a smile. He went over to his jeans and retrieved his lube and a condom from his pocket, then went back to the enjoyable task at hand. He squirted some lube on his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it some before placing a finger at Justin’s entrance, running it all around the outside of his hole.

Justin once again jumped when he felt Brian’s fingers at his hole. He never really gave much thought to gay sex, since he had spent his teen years trying to ignore his true feelings. He was about to question Brian when he heard his sexy voice offering instruction.

“Now I just want you to relax, Justin. This is going to hurt a bit at first, but if you stay relaxed I promise it will get better.” With that said, Brian slowly inserted a finger inside the tight hole.

Justin gasped at the intrusion. He could feel Brian’s finger sliding inside of him and wasn’t sure whether he was experiencing pleasure or pain. All he knew was that the emotions racing through him were overwhelming and he needed more. He just wasn’t sure what he needed more of. Taking a deep breath, he did what Brian had said and relaxed, trusting him completely. After a few moments, he could feel Brian begin a slow and torturous rhythm, sliding in and out. The pain he was feeling was replaced with sheer pleasure and he could feel his whole body humming with a fire he never felt before.

Brian waited until he felt Justin relax before he slowly added a second finger into his hole, being as gentle as he could. He, himself, was ready to explode like a school boy without ever having his own cock touched and he knew he needed to speed things up a bit. He needed to bury himself inside the tight hole in the worst way. He worked his fingers in and out, scissoring them on every other stroke, trying to make room for his throbbing member. Once he was sure that Justin was stretched enough, he pulled away and addressed Justin.

“Are you ready for more?” he asked, huskily.

“Yes,” Justin groaned softly.

“Climb up on the bed properly, on your back with your head on the pillow,” Brian demanded gently.

“Don’t you want me to...” Justin began, reaching for Brian’s cock.

“No!” Brian replied sharply, before noticing the hurt look cross Justin’s innocent face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. It’s just that if you touch me, I’ll probably explode immediately, and I want to wait until I’m inside of you.”

Justin saw the look of lust in Brian’s eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. He slid up the bed, and laid back, stretching out his arms in welcome. Brian came into his arms and they kissed passionately, trying to devour each other. Brian broke the kiss first, pulling back and position himself between Justin’s legs.

“I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you sure this is what you want?” Brian asked, searching Justin’s eyes for signs of doubt. He found none.

“Make love to me, Brian,” Justin replied, passion evident in his voice.

Brian reached for the condom he had placed on the nightstand and tore the wrapper open with his teeth. He rolled the condom on his aching cock and squirted some lube on for easier entry before placing Justin’s legs on his shoulders and positioning the tip of his member at Justin’s waiting hole, slowly sliding in a little at a time.

Justin felt Brian enter him, and took a deep breath, trying to ride out the pain he felt at the intrusion, knowing that it would get better. Once Brian was buried inside, he stopped, allowing Justin time to adjust before beginning to move slowly, thrusting in and out and causing Justin’s body to ignite in a fire so intense it took his breath away.

“Brian...I...ahhhhh”

“God, you feel so good, so tight,” Brian moaned, losing himself in the feeling of being deep inside of Justin’s ass.

“Uggg...Brian...I need more...I need...” Justin couldn’t even finish his thought.

Brian could hear the desperation in Justin’s voice and picked up the pace while reaching between them and grabbing his cock. He started stroking Justin’s cock in rhythm to his thrusts, feeling his balls tighten, preparing to explode.

Justin felt himself climbing closer to orgasm, and knew he wasn’t going to last any longer. “Brian...ahhhhh,” he called as he shot his load between them.

Brian felt Justin’s ass clamp down on his dick as he climaxed, causing him to fly into his own mind blowing orgasm. He collapsed on Justin, his mind reeling at the intensity of their union. He took a moment to get his breathing under control, before pulling out and reaching for the towel he saw thrown over the chair.

“Are you alright?” Brian asked while wiping Justin off.

“I’m better than alright. I’m fantastic,” Justin answered with a silly grin.

“Yes, you are,” Brian said softly.

“Stay here with me?”

Brian was getting ready to leave, wanting to put some space between them due to the emotions running through his head, but couldn’t deny Justin anything. He climbed into bed and nudged Justin, causing him to turn on his side. He snuggled up behind him, wrapping him in his arms and kissing his neck.

“Good night, Justin.”

“Good night, Brian,” Justin replied, happier then he ever remembered being in his life.

End of part 10
3/29/04

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